They aren't raised like this! At first don't forget that Tunisia is sooooo much bigger than the tourist places! At second please don't forget that the Tunisian men who are doing things like mentioned on websites like this, are a little % from all the Tunisian men. But because Tunisia has only a few tourist places like Tunis, Hammamet, Mahdia, Sousse, PEK, Djerba and Zarzis (did I forget one???)and tourist will not stay out off these tourist places, the tourist get the idea that THAT is Tunisia, well it's not! But yes it's happening and yes also families are involved, I can really tell you disguesting stories how families can be involved, but you know....take a deep breath for what I'm going to write now, because I know most of you don't like it, but this is how it works.... All of us have read here or other websites or hear in person or see in person, European women who give easily, voluntury a lot of money and expensive presents to Tunisian men, they tell their friends and they think wow that goes easily and I'm working long hours 6 or 7 days a week and earn only 350 dinar. They see their friends having fancy cloths, can hire cars, not working and walking around here as the Big Man. Status is very important in the Tunisian culture. Tunisia wants what other people have better That's why a lot also think that Europe is paradise. And even if their friends do not tell the truth and not telling about the problems they have with their European girlfriends, because most of them will not do that, they make a nice story where is loads of money and especially easy money! So what do you think the younger ones are thinking? They want that aswell offcourse, so their goal is to do that. When they are together drinking alcohol, they are going to call their European girlfriends, asking for money, when they come again and if they want to take the latest IPhone with them as a present. The friends here how easily that goes, because they are listening but YOU at the other side of the line will not know they are hearing. And so the story goes on and on..... So as long the European women will not stop giving money and giving presents and getting married fast and providing visas...this will continue! And why do some families accept it that their son coming home with several European girlfriends, also because most of those families live in the same place, so the family and neighbourhood will not talk as many as they will do in other places. Take for excample here at TLR there is a topic about I think it's Jendouba??? How many boyfriends live there....a lot! So they will cover up and stick together. And why? Because every parent wants the best for their child and there are lots of parents who think that there son will be best in Europe. When there is a son, brother, nephew, uncle is in Europe a lot here are a little bit jealous and they don't make a difference if this person is legal or illegal in Europe, Only Europe is important! Did you hear about the Lampedusa situation? If not have a look here at the website, there are topics about it and also at tunisia.com Well that happened here for months in front of our house. Children told their parents to get them the money or they will kill them selves. Some children did it, also before the last Lampedusa situation. So can you imagine when it is your child saying that to you??? Or you get him the money and he may dy on the way to Lampedusa or you don't and will kill himself. Well don't even think that you can imagine what that is for a parent, because we all can't untill we have stand in their shoes! I've spoken with those parents, aswell where the child kill himself as the parents who lost their son on the way. His father didn't want his son to go, but his mother sold things to get him the money and now he's dead. So if parents go so far......please think about it again what I just wrote about the Lampedusa, sending your child on a way which he maybe not will survive.....I think that welcoming about 4 or 5 different girlfriends from Europe per year in your house and making dinner for them and treat them as they are the only one.....is really no problem at al! And maybe 1 of those girlfriends take their sone in a airplaine to Europe with a legal visa, instead of the dangerous way to Lampedusa and than illegaly in Europe. I think the only thing which can help is spreading information at Embassy websites, tourist brochures and by demanding a visa or the paper to get married here at the Embassy, that they have to look more about how they meet online or in real life, how long they know eachother, how many days in real life spend together and I think it's also a good idea that or the European women or the Tunisian man have to stay for excample 1 month in the other country together on a visitor visa.
Thank God you wrote that Netniet.....I wrote an essay reply earlier as well then pressed the wrong button and it all deleted before I could post it I thought, I give up just now but I'll come back later to type it all again but now I don't need to cause you covered everything and more from what i was going to say
I like to add that I don't think that is offcourse than the good way and acceptable behavior at the Tunisian men side, but that and offcourse some more things, is the reason that I personally really can understand why they try it to do so with Europan women. They ask and maybe they get it and maybe not, it's like the lottery. Some have totally bullshit stories to ask for money and some make advantage from the European women by telling stories about poor, that especially works very well by women who are in generally caring persons. What the European women forget is before giving, getting knowledge about the Tunisian culture and Tunisia how they live here etc. So they look tru their European eyes and than...... The side from the European women is more difficult to understand for me I have to say. Because the majority is not rich but giving their money where there worked for hard, very easily to a person who they don't know or hardly know. They do things and accept which they have never done in a relationship with a man from their own country! They wouldn't have given a man from their own country so easily money and so fast after a little bit knowing eachother, or getting married after seen eachother maybe 3 or 4 times, ore accepting things in his behavior like his extreme jealous or possession, easily getting annoyed or angry And that makes it so difficult for me to understand the side of the European women and even harder to accept when it doesn't work out the relationship and the European women is only blaming the Tunisian man.
Sorry for the assumption earlier. Thank you for the great information. I do understand now why and how this can happen. I also researched Lampedusa. One thing that stood out for me watching videos on it, is that the majority were young men, not children or women. Usually when we get people on boats in Canada, there is usually a mix. It was good to watch and read about what happened, even the fact that they got sent back to Tunisia was interesting to learn. Thank you for letting me know. Many women who send money, gifts to someone do it because they are in need for love. They don't see the negative in Tunisian men as they would from a man in their own Town (men in their town have hurt them). They only hear the wonderful sweet words spoken to them that they miss in their own lives. When you have someone who speaks about love and how beautiful you are, when they live far away, it's easy to get attached. Especially if your someone who has a soft heart and want to rescue someone from the living conditions that these men talk about. When you live far away from someone there is no commitment, you don't have to look at your own negative behavior and you can live in a fantasy world of what you want it to be (easy to over look the jealousy and anger), the female doesn't see what it actually is. The women see what they want and believe what they want, until it's to late, and then the relationship ends. Because of their own need for acceptance and love, they become angry and hurt when they start to see the truth. The women have to blame someone because it can't be the female that was wrong, she was in love, she did everything she could to keep him happy, she brought him to her country, ex.... They are typically women who have hurt, anger and resentment issues that they have not dealt with before they even met their young Prince. Anger, resentment = a need for love outside of where you live = none commitment so you don't have to deal with your own issues
Well before the Revolution I think there were only a few boats in the year before, when they were caught, they were send back in general. During the Revolution, the first boat was the test, so when they arrived and the, excuse me stupid Italians told them they could stay and get papers, than the phones were ringing here, the boats were making pepared, tickets were sold, it was unbelievable to see. And untill now I still can't explain it very well because it was so overwelming. Than also women and children left, so not only men. But the most were the men. And untill the agreement was made between Tunisia and Italy and that took months, they were not send back. After the agreement a few boats did leave, but in general they all have been caught and returned to Tunisia. This year are the most people died by crossing the sea following the news and research. I agree with you and thanks for the explanation! And I think this is really the clue, they act differently with a Tunisian men than they do with a men from their own country. And I'm thinking if I will call it the negative in Tunisian men or that I see it more as realistic view what they miss.
I personally know of two people who have taken the boat the Italy. One is in France and the other was caught in Lampedusa. The second boy and all those on the boat were picked up by the Italians and put into another boat. They were given something hot to drink and some biscuits to eat and, very strangely, they ALL then fell asleep and found themselves on the way back to Tunisia when they woke up. The Italian authorities informed the Tunisians that the boat was returning and all those who had not done their military service, including the boy I know, were greeted at the port by the military and immediately drafted. The boy is not from a poor home but had made some bad choices in the past and obviously believed he had a chance to redeem himself in Europe. Now he realises the mistake he made and very pleased to be home. The boat was more than over crowded - dangerously so - and the Italians, although friendly, obviously did not want them there!!!! The one in France - he is still an illegal and will, not doubt, remain that way. He has made nothing of himself as there is no work. He is a hardworking young man who thought he could better himself, too, but has now seen the reality for himself but getting back to Tunisia is now out of the question as he has no money to return. It turns into a Catch 22 situation. Being married to a Tunisian, I have met plenty of Tunisians here in Europe. Some are genuinely in love with their wives and are a credit to their nationality, some are rats (and we avoid them where possible), some are just plain strange (lol) and some were not rats when they started out but the situation they are in has led them to decide to stay in Europe and try to make the most of it (bad treatment from the woman which does happen, too). When we were in Tunisia back in November, I saw with my own eyes how desperate the situation is for the young men. Those with jobs are lucky and hold onto them. My BIL went home for his week's holiday over the small Eid only to return to find someone had "taken" his job. Luckily he good at his job and he was taken back on. Any man who tells his "Western" partner that he is giving up his job because he hates the boss, hours are too long, pay too low needs to be looked at with great skepticism. Just like anywhere in the world, at the moment, any job is better than no job. In no way to I condone what some of these young men are doing; searching online for a woman, marrying a tourist for a visa etc. BUT I can understand why they do it even though they will find out that their dream is probably more a nightmare, especially if they don't have any feelings for the woman.
Very interesting post Monastirienne and I agree with many of your points. BTW I also know very well a young guy who tried the Lampedusa route to be left stranded at sea with his friend, they burnt their clothes to attract attention of a fishing boat who took them back to Tunisia. He is a talented craftsman but had a wild moment, Thank God he survived and is now back working diligently.
good question tipme, can you imagine having to be nice to someone you don't care about and keep up the act for a long time. This is the reason I think.
no what i mean is this the normal,one minute they laughin next there so changeable is it in the blood r is it just a tunie thing.jealous isnt the word
If someone acts like this, I guess he isn't very stable and not very happy with his live and his overall situation and also psychically stress can lead to such behaviour. And some people are just like this....
tip me its human nature and being insecure if he/they are up to no good it stands to reason he/they will think you are at it as well remember with bezness there is no trust therefore no security every thing and every body is a threat all the best the hairy one
It is not just those involved in Bezness that can be this way. I know one young man who is not involved with a European and is, in fact, engaged to be married to a Tunisian and believe me he is as changeable as the wind. Temper is not the word for it. Sulks - the norm. I wonder if some of it is genetic and the rest boredom.
probs was laughing when there getting ur money then pissed off when there not..... I think there only jealous when they think some one els could get there little hands on the purse...
I agree with Monastirienne that it's not only with men who have a relationship with an European women and Sparkle. But if you look at the relationships with European women and where the Tunisian men is looking for something else than love, than you have to think also at the manipulation. They are doing things so you come to a point that they get what they want. So they are not interested in the fact that his behaviour is for excample not nice for you, they don't care about your feelings at all. Sometimes offcourse they will say Ohhh honey I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, but I have stress and all that kind off bullshit but that is only because the European girlfriend will say ohhh he admitted it that he was wrong and he did say sorry, a man out of my own European country wouldn't admit the he was wrong and say sorry...... And they have the experience that if they get angry, moody, annoyed etc, that the European women is doing everything to get him happy again. So it's manipulation. But in a lot of Tunisian men I see in general more temperament than for excample Dutch men.
Mediterranean men are generally known to be more temperamental, volatile than stoic Western Europeans/ Brits, nothing new there
I agree, the moods swings are horrendous! When my rat got caught out he said he was the devil and that i deserve better, he even shed a tear. That night we went to a club he spent the night perving on other girls to make me jealous. The night b4 i came home he was being really nice to me and i almost felt guilty for breaking it off! He then switched again - despite cheating, lying and conning money out of me - he text me when I got back to England saying that I took his respect and that i'm lucky he stayed with me till i came home! I couldn't keep up with him! My emotions were all over the place! I think for him it was the frustration of being caught it was just easier for him to blame me!
I think you're bang on with that last sentence!!! They are never in the wrong, it's us bad westerners that make them do these things
I've heard they're like that Browning, they like playing mind games, and try to put the blame on the innocent person to make them look and feel bad
I've heard a lot of Tun men have bad tempers. Lol. Calm as a cucumber one minute n then blow up the next
Raindrops2000, it might be as well to have a look on Pipl.com, you are able to do a search to see if they're on any other sites
