Tunisiandiva.... It sounds like such a lovely MIL you have... And it's so nice that she takes care of your daughter too It goes straight to a mothers heart I can imagine I was talking to a woman on my flight to Tunisia once. She was clearly with a rat, and I thought: Am I lucky mine is not like that (well... not to the same extreem). She was middleaged, had a rat around her age. He had 3-4 children (i think between 17-26 or so). She paid for rent for the house they stayed - all year around, broght them soooo many presents - expensive too. She said he would not sleep with her, cuz he wasn't allowed to - he was widowed. So she slept on the couch when she was there.... She also complained that the kids treated her badly, and still asked for money... this had been going on for a couple of years. I sat on the plane, listening to her as she told me her story. Saw that people around us were listening too.. all wanting to say: plz wake up, and so did I... But sometimes people can't smell the fart, no matter how much it stinks... (I had trouble smelling the fart too....) I just remembered her... and I'm happy I didn't experience anything like this. This is such an extreme case, and I felt sorry for her, cuz she was clearly lonely. She wanted to be happy - but you could also tell she wasn't.
Aww bless her. It makes me sick the way they target lonely, vulnerable women. I pray everyday that i will not have to listen to i told you so one day. But this is nothing like our relationship. I am a widow(my husband died young)he was arabic and i wasn't in a good marriage. My fiance says he chose me...hmmm...please let me repeat that..HE CHOSE ME(yeh right) cos i am more arabic than any arabic women. When i asked why he said my heart is good and i have such good family values. Perfect from the outside in. lol. I cant wait till we can be together forever. Unfortunately i am not in a situation for him to live here. I have a disabled son who needs care 24/7 so am not able to work. Let me add he knew this from day one.But he says we will find a way it took us so long to find each other that we will never give up inchallah. So maybe i will live there or he will find another way to come here. Fingers crossed. xxxx
I'll keep my fingers crossed for you Like many other people I have a soft spot for people overcoming any difficulties when it comes to love And I believe that whereever there is a will, there is a way Best wishes for all of you
Hi Roxy I won't repeat what has been said previously, but ultimately it's all down to how you perceive this guy to be, in terms of his character, and the worth of the relationship so far. Of course it's always good to write it down and so through the replies received, things can become a bit clearer or it just highlights your own doubts. Having said that, this could go either way. Since many genuine guys do face monetary difficulties for whatever reasons...not withstanding the present situation in Tunisia. Moreover and more importantly, the replies and opinions you will get are simply based on each person's personal experiences with these men, in this case Tunisians. What I'm trying to say is that, like many here I also encountered a rat, but subsequently married another Tunisian. At first glance, one could say once bitten....but I judge people on their actions and how they live their lifes and not primarily based on which nationality they have. PS I paid for the apartments we stayed in, although hubby would look for the most competitive prices among his friends that rented them out and for the most part, they turned out to be reasonably priced. Does this make him a rat or less worthy, because he could not pay for his half of the rent? No, I don't think so. He paid for other things, and that made it even out, in the end. Invariably is what you think that matters; regardless of whatever advise we may have to offer you. Therefore I can only wish you the best of luck and I know it's not easy to be in a LDR (f)
Hello All. I have just walked in from the airport and come on here to update and read all the comments from the last time I posted. All very welcome and I take all on board. Well, I had a lovely time, we talked and talked and made headway in ironing out some of the issues that we have encoutered. He met me at the airport and we went to Souse where he had rented a really nice apartment with stunning views across the harbour. We spoke about his military and he showed me a lot of the paperwork to do with the finances - His family will be helping him while he still looks for work - he was looking for work when I was with him. In regards to his family, his mother does not know I exist, though his brothers do (I haven't met them~) and I have spoken to his sister in law on the phone. We spoke about this and he says that he needed to be very sure before telling his mother. I believe this to be genuine for the reasons that he provided, that she is very traditional. I asked how she would feel about a (slightly) older British woman with bleached blonde hair who is divorced being with her son. He says that ultimatley she would just wish him to be happy. We spoke about money. I explained my situation and he explained his. We have agreed to respect eachothers situations. It is cear to see that he has no money at the moment as he has no job but is desperatly looking for work at the moment. Things are still quite dire out there at the moment. I have come away feeling much clearer about things now.
I'm really glad that you have been able to talk things through and explain to each other your current situation. God willing he will be one of the genuine ones, and as difficult as it may be, it's always better to err on the side of caution to begin with, but from all you're saying things appear to be on the up and positive. Keeping my fingers crossed for you. (f)
Thank you for your kind words Veritas. I hope to god he is a genuine one, but I understand that the odds are stacked and of course I would proceed with caution. I don't think I would ever fully let my guard down with anyone anyway, though at the moment I feel contented with what we have talked about and the plans we will make for the future.
We are European. To them we ARE rich. It's not just "money" that's the value. It's the prospect of living in a rich country sweets x
