SAM & AMIR, Houda Golf and Beach Monastir

Discussion in 'Hotel Infestations' started by CologneSunshine, Jul 11, 2012.

  1. Laurence

    Laurence Well-Known Member

    Anyway, you can easily explain the rats being rats...they have been raised in a family after all and if that family was decent, at least they would have some sense of morality. As they don't have it, you can conclude that his family is a RAT FAMILY. Rats breed rats. Simple.
    marilyna likes this.
  2. Mona1

    Mona1 Well-Known Member

    Spot on Galadriel....so many of the rats could have been exposed if the girl had understood the culture before getting in too deep.
  3. marilyna

    marilyna Chocolate Connoisseur

    Laurence,

    I agree with you, in that some of the rats families are in on the scam, and some of their parents were or are rats themselves.

    I also know of many cases, not Tunisian, where parents have brought their children up well, but those children take the wrong path, and yet the other children in the family do not behave this way. The parents have taught all their children the difference between right and wrong, and in these cases the child's behaviour has no reflection on how they were brought up.

    I just came across this article regarding parents and children.

    Is a Child's Behavior Always a Reflection of His Parents?

    Posted: 09/15/2012 8:49 am

    Six-year-old Ethan was a smart, active boy who had been, until very recently, unconditionally sweet and easy to get along with. But lately, Ethan had been acting extra bossy on the playground, telling friends they were playing certain games "wrong" and mildly bullying the younger kids. He was never violent, but he wasn't especially likable. His mom, Fiona, was working hard to figure out what was bothering Ethan, and talking to him about what it means to play well with others. But in the meantime, she got the sense that the other moms were blaming her for Ethan's acting out. She felt embarrassed -- but she couldn't really fault them. Who else, she thought, could possibly be responsible?
    We've long held a tendency to blame parents for how their children behave and develop. Though we most often fault mothers more than fathers, the idea is the same. If we're good parents, our children will turn out okay. If we're bad parents, well: They won't. Though research has proven that childhood development owes itself to many influences, we can't seem to help but assign blame to one party -- that is, us -- and it's created a generation of parents who judge themselves, and each other, by how their children do.
    But to what extent are children really reflections of us? To some degree, they are, certainly. But not to the fullest degree we often assume. Still, it's a hard notion to shake. When they're acting out in the supermarket or throwing a fit on the playground or being cruel to other kids, we worry what everyone around us is thinking, fearing the worst: What sort of mother is she? Can't she control him? Even if, of course, we didn't teach him to behave in such a way. On the flip side, we celebrate how much they're like us when they're excelling in sports or on school tests, or unexpectedly considerate to a stranger. We bask in the assumption that others will see in our child's successes our own superior parenting.
    This is why we too often push our kids into activities they might not otherwise choose, or impress upon them personality traits that may not come so naturally. One friend of mine insisted, from the time her daughter was old enough to write, on having the girl craft long, involved thank you notes. A good thing to teach, certainly. But when she insisted her daughter write and rewrite the cards over and over until she got it "right" -- not wanting people in her life to receive subpar thank you notes from her offspring -- she was going too far. It became less a lesson on courtesy than a way to satisfy her own high standards or prove to others how well-mannered her daughter was. And that's the key: Figuring out how much we're motivated, as parents, to encourage our children to do things that satisfy our own needs rather than theirs.
    When we do that -- that is, parent our children according to our own requirements, desires or standards of how things "should be" -- we often deprive them of developing a solid sense of self. We stifle their innate creativity and urges. What's more, we may subconsciously deliver the message that they will only earn our love by being just like us. Though his seven-year-old son, Alex, moaned and groaned every time he was due to go to soccer practice, dad Tyler would continue to encourage Alex to play the game, talking to him about the importance of fitness, teamwork and appreciating the outdoors. But the second Alex displayed an indifference to his piano lessons, Tyler gave him the green light to quit. Tyler was a high school athlete; throughout his youth, soccer was important to him. Piano? Not so much. The underlying message to Alex, though, was that the commitments that mattered -- the ones worth pursuing -- were the ones that mattered to Daddy. But where was Alex in this equation?
    Once kids reach school age (and for many of us, even sooner) they are away from us many hours a day. We have less control over the things -- and people, and behaviors -- they latch onto. Of course, it's always important to take note of, and work to curb, any undesirable qualities that pop up, but being away from parents is a good thing. It gives kids room to grow and explore in new ways. We will still be the most influential people in our children's lives, and inevitably they'll pick up some of our mannerisms, ideas, habits, prejudices, and talents. But they don't have to be -- shouldn't be -- our mirror image.
    It's not easy to admit that our children's every action is anything but a direct result of something we've said, done, or taught. Nor is it easy to allow them the freedom to make some of their own choices. This can include how much time and effort they put into studying for a spelling test, how they choose to express thanks, or what they choose to wear. There will be times when they get it wrong. But it's important to remember that those failings aren't actually failings, but part of the process of learning, growing and becoming one's own self. Sometimes they may embarrass us. But they will also make us proud.




    Follow Dr. Peggy Drexler on Twitter: www.twitter.com/drpeggydrexler
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  4. trishas mum

    trishas mum Teachers Pet

    i dont suppose it was Abdellaziz knani also known as Azouz? my mum was just recently fooled by him. used just for fun and the pain and heartache that followed was unreal. there was money involved which he tells her he will send back but looks like thats not going to happen. This man is convincing beyond belief, same old story..." i will never be there in that country with u, i love my country" which soon changed to " I will come there because i love you and not for visa". He started asking what he would do for money here untill he could find work etc. his charm is out of this world, he said all the right things, he was attentive, and no one would doubt that he didnt love you. when he asked my mum to marry him he asked her to bring a suit for him to wear as it was to expensive to buy one over there lol. A sad story of how his mum was crying as his dad had left to go to work in lybia, to work, to get money for the family. Yet two days later he semed to have forgotten he had said this and mentioned his dad being in the next room with his mum!!!!! on questioning this he told my mum that his dad actually hadnt gone, yet he had told her the previous day his dad had left!!!! I think he was hoping my mum would offer a help of money. she went over to see him in october and he asked for her to send 400dinars to pay for a appartment for them to stay in. she refused, so he said he would pay, which resulted in them staying in a cockroached infested, dirty apartment which wasnt even habitable. He played many games, and alot of what ive read on here resembles him and his behaviour. As far as i know, he is still a waiter at houda hotel, so beware all, this one could charm the birds out the trees!!!! thankfully my mum is out of it now and saved her 10000s probably in trips back and forth but do any of these men realize the pain they cause? will post a picture in the gallery of him x
    wallah, Amber, Kristy and 4 others like this.
  5. marilyna

    marilyna Chocolate Connoisseur

    Welcome to TLR Trisha,

    Thank you for sharing your story.

    It is not the first time I have heard of the bride buying the suit for her man,lol.

    ROFLMAO, his dad is in Libya, then in the next room.

    Please don't tell me your mum ended up staying in a cockroach infested apartment for the whole of her stay:eek:

    Rats all say they don't want to stay in hotels, so they can con their victims with the apartment price. They don't want others see their rattery, and keep you isolated in an apartment.I think all women should avoid the whole apartment thing, as you are more vulnerable when the shit hits the fan.Furthermore, when you think of all the women who quite willingly stay in apartments with these rats, after a first meeting, having known the man for a few days, or weeks, it is scary.

    Thankfully your mum is out of it.

    Can you put his photo up in the gallery please?
    wallah, Amber, Kristy and 1 other person like this.
  6. Samantha

    Samantha Active Member

    trisha1976 Thank you for telling this sad story, I good to see that you mum is oke now. Believe me they dont have a heart, everything they do is to get a better life. They dont care if the hurt somebody. Its all about them, other people are not important. It good to put his picture out here. I wish you and you mum all the best!!!
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  7. trishas mum

    trishas mum Teachers Pet

    He would take her to the Safari Bar every night and sit with his friends, getting drunk, speaking his own language and ignoring her. Obviously she felt very uncomfortable. He peomised to take her to nice restuarants and things but this never happened.

    At the beginning he would call her and text but then started to drop call her instead so she would call him back costing her alot

    Been trying to add pictures to the gallery but wont let me as my pictures aren't the correct format (no idea how to rectify that)
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  8. Samantha

    Samantha Active Member

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  9. marilyna

    marilyna Chocolate Connoisseur

    Send a private message to Tigerlil, and she will sort it out for you.
    trisha1976 likes this.
  10. trishas mum

    trishas mum Teachers Pet

    to sit all night for hours on end with 5 or 6 people talking in a different language to her was damn right mean, and he done this to her every night of her stay. his phone she told me was on silent through out her stay!!! which led her to believe there were other women. she did try to leave one day but he followed her out and wouldnt leave her alone stating that she had to go back or if anything happened to her he would be held responsible. also on their last night, after another night spent with his friends she told him she wanted to go, go to the airport, she just wanted to go. He locked her in the apartment refusing to let her go till his brother came to take her!!!!
  11. mezoo

    mezoo The Decider

    not possible from tunisia, in 99.999999999% of the time. buyer beware :cool:
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  12. marilyna

    marilyna Chocolate Connoisseur

    Speaking in another language is insensitive and rude, your poor mum. This is why women need to learn Tunisian, when they are with these guys. Rats love their phones, so keeping it on silent, is because he does not want to talk to his other women in front of her, your'e right. He sounds like a control freak. He did not want her to go out on her own, so noone else could have access to her, and maybe tell her he is a rat.
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  13. trishas mum

    trishas mum Teachers Pet

    he would tell her not to go out to nightclubs over here and just to wait for him. he would even tell her not to get her hair cut short!!! my mum works nights and has to wake up at 2am, so usually goes to bed very early. Azouz would think nothing of ringing her at 11pm at night and waking her up knowing she had work at that time. if she didnt answer her phone he would go mad and if her phone was switched off, which isnt often he would tell her the relationship was over!!! to me he did sound controlling but he was so clever with his words. he would ask her to go msn at 11pm some nights knowing that she would go to work with no sleep,working a very physicall job to, then at midnight he say he was tired and had 2 go to bed where as my poor mum would then stay up as there was no point in her going to sleep!!! he showed her a ring recently and told her it was for her, for when she came in may but why would he buy a ring now for someone who wasnt coming back till may??? she thinks maybe it was for another woman going there sooner or maybe a prop that he has for women . he disgusts me. if i can help just one woman from going through what she has with him then i will be happy
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  14. marilyna

    marilyna Chocolate Connoisseur

    I am sure if your mum brought him here, you would have told us, that there was domestic violence, and probably end up stalking her later. He is showing all the signs, telling her what to do.:eek:

    You need to get that photo up quick.
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  15. the nutty professor

    the nutty professor Bad Teacher

    hi trisha and welcome
    he sounds a right piece of work!
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  16. Samantha

    Samantha Active Member

    Omg he sounds excatly the same like my rat.....are you sure it is a diffenrant person? He showed me a ring to, tell me that i would get it wen i came back. The midnight phone calls, getting angry wen i dont answer....ones my phone needed charging, so it dint work, he was angry why i closed it. Also he kept me in the house, not possible to out without him. No i see how controling he was. really scarry.
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  17. BrownGirl

    BrownGirl Moderator And Queen of Summaries Staff Member

    Good grief ladies, easy for me to say I suppose but I don't understand why anyone would stay with someone like this or go back to them. So glad that Samantha and Trisha's mum are rid of these horrible "men". It doesn't bear thinking what they might have gone through if the relationship had lasted into marriage and visa.
    Amber, wallah, trisha1976 and 2 others like this.
  18. What an absolute shitstain, give him my number, i'll just love it if he rings me at about half eleven after i've been in the pub since 2 :)
  19. trishas mum

    trishas mum Teachers Pet

  20. trishas mum

    trishas mum Teachers Pet

    his photo is now in the gallery samatha-Abdellaziz knani aka Azouz houda hotel
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  21. Amber

    Amber oo la la ;)

    I thought about this control they put over you deeply because I had never been controlled by anyman in my life before the ratty experience and I ended up with this : in early days, first stay in Tunisia , rats take advantage of your ignorance about the country and the culture and they make a bet on you reasoning with your references. When you are on holidays you are relaxed , not on your guard, and if you met on line and came to meet the rat , you don't any clue either if you didn't search for information on internet before.

    May be one of the reasons why the rat lines work so well that they were “standardized” and used by all rats , is that they are based on partial truths …on my very first stay with the rat in a flat ,when I heard the line about the army and the police who could take him to prison if he was seen with me in the streets or some public places, I thought it was a terrible dictatorship ( it was under Ben Ali) and I felt so lucky to live in a free and democratic country ! the rat was just trying to keep me away from any kind of information and other men and hiding his activities…then when he said his family had huge debts after moving to a new house and couldn’t eat every day and he had to help them , again I said to myself , gosh it’s a burden to be the eldest son in that culture …well this is just the way they manage to reach goodhearts, and not only women ,the elderly too for example , and have them open their purse , for small and everyday life expenses at the start and you are just doing it naturally without second thoughts because your mind is healthy and not paranoid and the way you would do it occasionnaly in Europe with people facing financial difficulties.

    Without information about rattery and knowledge about the whole economic, political and cultural situation in Tunisia, you give the benefit of the doubt …I remember that when I was puzzled or uncomfortable with some behaviour , I was thinking : don’t judge too quickly , listen , try to understand , open your mind to the cultural differences…
    So may be Trisha’s mum or other members were taken in like I was by this kind of phenomemon: you feel there’s something weird that you would never accept in your own country but you are just feeling akward and kind of paralysed hesitating about what to do … and even trying not to offense ! I never had to sit and wait for hours while the rat was talking to friends but twice I happened to experience the cultural differences and misunderstandings it can bring: once ,he said come and share coffee with my friend , I told you about him… so I joined them and they started to speak in Arabic when they could have spoken French ! the rat was making a few translations for five minutes and saying why don’t you talk !!!i think this rat was thinking I was Tunisian also sometimes …so after 15 mn , I found it very rude so I left the table and said “good bye I have some shopping to do” : in my mind , I was thinking , leave them alone they don’t see each other often ,you will come back in a while when it’s finished …for the rat it was an offense I guess as they are used to women waiting quietly till the end of the conversation smiling …second time , I had an early dinner with friends outside and the rat asked me nicely to bring back something to eat as I was going to his favourite place where I knew everybody : no problem, my pleasure ,my love …I brought back his favourite meal , guess what ,he was playing snooker with friends taking all his time …(didn’t understand why at that time ) , so I tried to be discreet , gave the plate and told him :eek:k ,take your time to finish and then come … again, I had insulted him in front of his friends !

    This is just to say that without noticing you get easily confused and paralyzed about how to behave …and you accept things you would never accept otherwise , not because you are weak or stupid , because sometimes you are well educated or you are not used to the codes and the way Arabic people expect women to behave and you can easily take the Rat behaviour for the Tunisian behaviour , which is not of course , but you are so isolated and willing not to judge and struggling to understand ,that it’s often too late when you get your mistake …
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  22. Galadriel

    Galadriel Globe Trotter Extraordinaire

    One point though Amber which IMO only, alarm bells should have rang because strangers, new friends of any people from the East are traditionally shown every courtesy and showered with gifts, food etc. The saying is what`s mine is yours (not the other way round) and my house is your house.......I have only been shown utmost respect from men in Tunisia and elsewhere when travelling.
    I know you try to differentiate in behaviour you have experienced but I don`t also understand why you say "but you are so isolated" ? I just don`t get it.
  23. trishas mum

    trishas mum Teachers Pet

    I didnt get up and leave because i had nowhere to go and knew nothing of the area. i would sit there everynight for 5/6 hours with him and his friends with the occasional !are you ok-i love you so much". everynight he would ask me if i hadd a nice time and i was honest and told, no, i didnt, i feel uncomfortable. He would then say, "ok, we will come tomorrow and if my friends come over, we will move tables, you can see im very popular"! yes, he was popular, he would be buying buckets of lager on ice for everyone with my money and not once did anyone buy him a drink!!!! of course, the next night wasnt different, we did not move tables! even on our last night i asked if we could not spend to long there as it was our last night and i would like to spend some time with him alone. he agreed but again it wasnt the case. we got to the safari at 8pm and at 1am he turned and asked if i minded staying a little longer and i told him, no, i want to go now. when we got home i refused to speak to him and went to sleep on the couch to which he said, "dont ruin our last night". there was a huge row and i wanted to leave so he locked me in!!!! this behaviour wasnt to do with culture or being educated it was about being damn right mean and rude and having no manners!!!! I told him straight, this wasnt our holiday, it was piss up for you and your friends at my expence!!!! grrrrrrrrrrrr im so angry at myself for letting it happen!!!!! x
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  24. You should have slapped him in the face with a titillated shit.
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  25. trishas mum

    trishas mum Teachers Pet

    pmsl laughing sue!!! yeah, im kicking myself now for not reacting differently!!! always regret after the event and of coure he promised me that NEXT TIME would be different, yeah sure, theres not gonna be a next time!!!!! the last time i spoke to him i called him A DIRTY VISA HUNTING C**T lol
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