Hi all, I am here because a friend met a Tunisian guy online and is supposed to fly there to marry him soon. I just found this site and from what I can tell, it's a classic rat case. I don't think she has seen this site, but I will tell her about it, though she probably won't listen. I am just wondering, as I know she will, if there are any stories of happy endings? Also, we are worried about her safety traveling there. We can't stop her, but what kinds of precautions should we try to get her to take?
Just online - they met in some game and now video Skype all the time - all her friends are really worried about her, and after reading all the stuff on this site and tunisia-love, I am too!
yowsa yowsa, welcome to the forum. your friend needs a friend, glad your being one. hope she listens. i've been married to a tunisian for 24 years. though it's "bass akwards". she's a tunisian lady and i'm an american guy. there are good guys out there but ya better know what to look for...cheers!
Can you get her to check out this site? There are some happy relationships but few I'm afraid and not as I'm aware started with meeting online. Is she planning to get married the first time she meets him? I'm sorry but I would be very worried too, I hope you and her friends can get through to her it's not a good idea. If she insists the only thing I can think of is to make sure you have her address and a contact number in Tunisia. I don't want to be a scare-monger but this is so not a good idea. Sorry, I'm not being very helpful but there are lots of members on here I'm sure they can give you more help. Good luck yowsa.
Hi Yowsa, if your friend's mind is made up then she won't want to listen to you, all you can do is encourage her to read the stories here. You could say to her that it would be beneficial for her to understand the Tunisian culture and maybe the penny will drop while she is reading. I can't believe anyone would fly out to marry someone they had never met in real life. In terms of personal safety, well assuming he is a visa rat, odds are she will be treated like royalty. He needs her, there would be no benefit for him if she feels uncomfortable or comes to any harm. But she should still take sensible precautions e.g. leave contact numbers, she should be in control of where she is staying rather than letting him organise it, have a backup plan, an escape plan if needs be. Ask her what she will do if she meets him and the chemistry isn't there or he turns out not to be the person she thought he was. What will she do if she is suddenly alone in a strange country? I hope it all turns out ok.
Thanks. Yes, she's planning on getting married when she meets him. She says she doesn't have the money to make several trips and apparently he can't get a visa to come to the US, not that he has any money either. I have traveled a lot and have been to Tunisia and the Middle East, so I know of plenty of cross-cultural marriages that are very successful, but those started off in person through mutual interests, school, friends, etc. It's the online thing and going into all this without ever having met him, his friends, his family, that worries me most. Have there been any instances of women not being allowed to leave, such as you hear about in Saudi Arabia, etc?
Well he can't get a visa to the US, but he will once he marries her. As for not being allowed to leave - highly unlikey I would think, but I'm no expert. He needs her to leave and get the visa sorted. Is there an age difference?
Thanks BrownGirl - good to know that she won't come to any harm. Yes, it sounds like he is after the visa. She is going with a girlfriend - another oddity in all of this - who she met through him, online. This gal is going with her and is going to marry my friend's fiance's Tunisian friend. And amazingly, this gal lives not too far away from my friend - the US is a big place...
Trying to - I think I found the name of the friend's friend on FB (they are all on FB) and he has his town and place of work listed, but my friend's guy doesn't have any info. Where do I look aside from here? I put their names into the search here but it didn't come up with anything.
We have ladies on here that are much better at it than me. They can be well hidden or using different names. There are lots of dating sites I'm afraid, not just facebook. We have a member called 'dasa' who is amazing at finding people you could pm her. It's early right now so other members will be here later perhaps they can help.
How bizarre, but at least she isn't going alone I suppose. I would really try to get her to read up on Tunisian culture, tell her it will make things easier when she meets the family. It might ring some alarm bells but at the very least it will arm her with information that will help protect her.
Yowsa, try pipl.com You can put different combinations of names in here and it will search lots of social networking sites.
It just occurred to me, do you know what part of Tunisia he come's from. We have lots of members it could be that someone knows him?
Hi Yowsa, It does not look good at all. Like Browngirl, I can't understand how women can go and marry men they have never met in person. Think waste case scenario, what if he robs her when they are together, and takes everything she has? On the German TLR site, there are several cases of women who had relationships with Tunisian men, where the men kept them under lock and key, for months, and in the end some managed to get to their embassies, in Tunis, and get flights back to their countries, but left everything behind in Tunisia. Their Tunisian rats made sure the women had no contact with the outside world at all, took away phones etc. Took all their money, so yes it does happen.
Have you looked for him on Tagged, and also on http://pipl.com/ He is probably using different names on different sites.
Well, the other girl's guy is pulling up on a lot on various dating sites - I just Googled his name. Already noticed he switches the order of his name from site to site. The name of my friend's guy isn't turning anything up. I'll let you know what I find, and will reach out to dasa. Thanks!
Marilyna - thanks - not sure I wanted to hear that - but thanks all the same. I'll keep digging - I see there is a gallery on here as well.
Hello Yowsa, In the immediate future I don't think that your friend will be harmed, on the contrary, the tunisian man and his friends and family will take good care of her as she is the one who can provide him with a visa... But there is no doubt that she will be a victim of rattery. How on earth can a woman imagine to marry a man she doesn't even know in real life????!!!! From which part of Tunisia is this man? Is he working and if so, what kind of work does he have ? Please search through internet, you'll find info about him, I'm sure, all the internet rats leave traces. Maybe some of us staying in Tunisia can help you with information, who knows. So give us a maximum of details please.
Well, the thing is you need to be prepared for everything. Most of the stories where the women were trapped, and locked up by their rats in houses, were cases where they were married. However abuse still goes on even if they are not married. I hope your friend does not experience this.
Still searching - the more I search, the less I like. My friend is a very attractive blonde and I am sure she would be a nice trophy. Unfortunately I personally know of a woman who was imprisoned by her husband along with the kids.
Hi all Really i start new buisness now for each search i take 5 euro and i can stop work, looool Now I stop joking... Pls send me all details from this guy by pn and i will see what i find email, birthday, nickname, picture......
