Dasa and I have been digging -she's great! I see from a lot of my research that in Europe these rats are well known. Let me say that I haven't ever even heard about "animation" teams and I haven't seen anything in the media in the US these past years talking about the scams/fraud. Maybe the rats have lost their nest with European tourists coming to visit and are working harder online. I am going to print out a lot of this info I am finding and give it to her. Hopefully Dasa and I can find something concrete on these guys - the one the other girl is marrying works at hotel marco polo and we found him in a video - now to find out about him, but I find it hard to believe that if one is in that game, the other would be an upstanding gentleman.
Update -I talked to my friend and she has seen this site and the others, but, she wasn't very familiar with the term "bezness" - which means she didn't spend any time at all reading. I told her I support her and respect her, but don't support her decision to marry him on this trip. She is determined to marry him within days of her arrival. At that point, that was all I could do, and to warn her that if she gets into any problems at all, the US embassy will NOT do anything to help her except give her a list of lawyers and let her family wire money through the embassy. Meanwhile, everyone that was supposed to attend the bridal shower was in frenzy about having to go and act happy about her "marriage" - I had already decided that I was not going to go. There are some videos on YouTube by lesbeznesstunisiens that are very good, and when my friends saw these, it was the final straw and they cancelled the parties. During all of this we kept telling her that we love her and support HER but not this decision to marry this guy. She's very upset, especially at me. I have supported her, or at least, I have not tried to talk her out of it like everyone else has, until I found all the info on bezness. And even then, I didn't try to talk her out of it, I just told her my concerns. Still, she needs somebody to blame and I knew when I got into this I'd probably get her wrath. But, the other friends are thanking me for taking a stand. No one wanted to go to this party because they don't want her to do this. I imagine she will go ahead with it all - we'll see. I am not entirely sure that her guy is a rat, but his friend sounds very much like a rat. But after finding out more from her about the situation, there are certainly warning bells. If you add it all up, you have two rats. So now I'm going to take all of this info I've collected and organize it into something in English to try to get the word out to Americans. I think, because of the US being more remote and the fact that we don't have the social services benefits here like Europe and Canada, Americans have been less desirable and harder to connect with. But with the world economy as it is, and how just about everyone is on the internet now, apparently we are now prey, even if we do have to work 50 out of 52 weeks a year and pay for our own medical, retirement, etc. Thanks to all of you for your info and support! Will be back in touch, hopefully with news that she either did not go, or if she does, that she didn't get married. And "worst" case, that at least she comes back safe.
Hi Yowsa, What you could also do to prevent these marriages, is contact the US Embassy in Tunis and tell them about your concerns. If you find something concrete about those two rats, just give it to them as well. The staff there will be familiar with the bezness problem, I'm pretty sure about that. Just give them the two names and tell them you fear rattery, especially as your friend and the other woman concerned don't know these men in real life, just by internet, stress this factor as well with the Embassy! I would be very astonished that they will get the papers to get married if known that they never ever met before in real life. They wouldn't for any European country.
I found it really a difficult situation, because she is a dear friend of you and because of this you have already or will loose your friendship with her I'm afraid. So even when it goes wrong in time, she will not come to you. Sometimes you can't reach your friend in connecting, but sometimes you can maybe, try maybe a different approach? Allthough I know you tried a lot, but it wasn't the way that she wanted to listen to you. Maybe you can give it 1 or 2 more go's but before you do, don't think like you do, but think like your friend does! She is in love and want to get married to in her eyes the love of her life. She might feel now that all her friends and best friends left her alone with something very important in her life! So she might think that you all don't wish her wel, that you are all jalous etc. etc. Imagine that you get married, you're in love, you don't see what your friends see and they say he's not right for you...well that is really heavy for her.....so at that point she will even not be able to listen to you all about the reasons. And than it doesn't stop, it goes on, it's one off the important days in your life and your friends cancelled your bridal party....wow that is even more heavy but NOW she has got something to focus on, because you all left her alone! It's not about the man anymore for her...it's about her friends.....so now you will not be able to reach here anymore about the subject you want her to listen to you I hear indeed sometimes that the Embassy will not give the papers to get married to persons. But realise that if you do that, she will not like that So I think you have to think aswell, what do you want, are you prepared to loose her friendship completely but do everything to stop the marriage, or do you want to accept and respect your friend with the choices which she is making, allthough you maybe not agree with those choices but it's her life... Again it's difficult..... And about another go...maybe you can make an appointment with her, that you want to talk and show her for 1 hour things. Than you write everything on paper what you want to say and show her. After that she offcourse is allowed to respond like she wants. And after that, you both accept and respect eachother, which way it's going to be and draw a line You take a glass of wine together and you tell her that you will support her in any way she needs, so if she wants you to be happy for her now, you have to try for the friendship.
Yowsa you have done what you can, and have been upfront with her. It is her life, her choice, she will have to take responsibility for that.
NetNiet, thank you. I hear everything you are saying. I'm not one of her best friends, I'm just the one who found this site and wanted to make sure she knew about it. And yes, she does not consider me a friend any longer, nor three other women who HAVE been her best friends. After trying to figure out how to tell her, I decided that privately, over a glass of wine, would be best, and that is what I did. She didn't get angry at me then because I didn't push it. Though she wouldn't let me talk for more than a few minutes, and wouldn't look at the papers I brought, we did, I guess, "agree to disagree." The problem was when we reconnected with her other friends later in the evening and she sensed something was wrong- and she just blew up at everyone because instead of being happy for her she realized everyone looked concerned and worried. It almost seemed to be about the party and the attention, not so much her friends or even the marriage. No one argued or yelled at her, it was just her yelling at everyone else. That was one of the reasons they cancelled the party. I don't know if the other people she knows will try to intervene before she leaves or not, but I don't plan to. We'll see... Marylina, yes, those of us she has cut communication with wish it could be different, but all in all, I think we all feel we acted in the right way. That's all we can do...
