i've been with my tunisian husband for 8 years. i thought we were happy together until one night this week we had a knock at the door only to be greeted with a woman saying your husband has got my daughter pregnant!! shock i felt that my world had fell apart. my husand has been staying with this girl while i have been on wake nights. i had no idea he was seeing anyone there was no change in him. he's denying the fact but they showed me photos of the 2 together, he even took her to tunisia on holiday. as you can imagine my head is so full. i told him to leave which he has, we have 2 children together and when i work nights they stay with my parents as my so called husband used to leave for work at 6.30am. please any advice would be great i'm so confused
Hi Khaled what a shock for you, im so sorry!! It only happened this week its so raw for you right now..bless you i really feel for you!!
Hi Khaled, Welcome to TLR. Thank you for sharing your story. What a shock for you! It is going to take you time to get round this. He has been living a lie, and betrayed you. I am not surprised he has denied it, I doubt you would have a knock on the door if he had not made her pregnant. I think right now you have done the best thing by asking him to leave. You need time to think about what you want to do. Maybe contact the daughter, or her mother for more information. I am sorry this has happened to you.
Hi Khaled1, god what a git he is, I know you must be feeling terrible right now. Nothing I say will make you feel any better and I cant advise on your next steps except to say time does heal and it sounds like you would be better off without him. Are you considering trying to sort things out and take hime back?
hi browngirl there's no way i would consider taking him back. i've only just contacted his family and told them. its our children i feel for. i had undated textx and phone calls from him but i'm ignoring him. i wonder if anything else crawls out the woodwork. i have contacted this girl. she only live 2 minutes away from me. she told me that he said we were divorced and i was allowing him to stay at the house., she also told me that she's been in my house while i've been at work. there are so many questions that need answering but he only lies. the girl has said if he goes to her house she will send her mum round to come and get me so we can face him together!! i don't know were to start first we have a house and a business in tunisia its in both our names.
God, sorry Khaled, what a complete b*****d. You will need some legal advice for a start - some people here should be able to help you with that.
Oh what a complete f*cking arsehole - I'm so sorry Khaled1. You talk about her being a 'girl' and her mum speaking a lot for her - is she very young??? Either way, kick him to the kerb and seek legal advice - also stick with us here and we will support you in whatever way we can xxx
Taking her to your house is out of line, I am so sorry. I know the whole thing is out of line, but I just don't understand men who bring women to their family home, and he tells her you are divorced. It is unacceptable. I can understand why you would not consider taking him back, how the hell do you get past something like this. As the others have suggested, seek legal advice asap.
Welcome Khaled, I am so sorry for what's happened, you take the time you need to get your head round all what has happened, we are all here to support each other, but as others have suggested I agree you should seek some legal advice, take care of yourself and the children, give yourself the time and space you need, support is always here Much love to you xx
Welcome to the site Khaled, I am sorry to hear what has happened to you, 8yrs is a fair amount of time and you have children too, as you say where to start.... I think you need to take control of the situation before he does, seek legal advice, you must do this as you have so much joint interest, home business children. I do not know enough about legalities to advise on any of this, your first port of call must be a solicitor that specialises in divorce and Tunisian law. I know many will not agree with me, but if you can try ( hard as it will be ) to remain amicable towards him, then it will make life a lot easier for you and the children in the long term. Where is he living now? I hope you will get the help you need in all of this Khaled ........we are here for you and will support you in any way we can. CUDDLE xx
Hi Khaled, Im so sorry for what has happened to you, my heart goes out to you, it beggars belief how low some men will sink, not only cheat on you but to get a young girl pregnant and on your own doorstep what a bastard. Take a deep breath let it all sink in and then do what you have to do. Try and keep it together as much as possible for your kids sake. I can only imagine what you must be going through hun, your heart must be broken. Sending you hugs xxx
With regards your house/business in Tunisia i think you need to find out where you stand legally....first. Arm yourself with as much information you can then speak to him and her. x
Dear Khaled1, I too am very sorry for your situation and I feel for you so much and of course for your children. God, why does this thing happen? I think its a sign of the times that people cannot be satisified with what they have and in your case, your husband had everything - a lovely home, a loving wife and two beautiful children. I wish you all the strength in the world to sort this out, Sending you big hugs, Smiley, xx
Oh dear Khaled, I feel so sorry for you! The same thing happened to one of my neighbours and also a friend, she had two small children at that time and a tunesian husband working in a travel agency in Europe. Everything seemed all right, it looked like a nice happy little family...till one wednesday, when a pregnant woman stood on her doorstep telling she was pregnant with her husband's child... You are not the only woman who had this kind of enormous schock, and eventually you will come over it like did my neighbour, but it is very hard and I can imagine your hurt. Go find a good lawyer dear Khaled. Both in your hometown and in Tunisia I should say.
Khaled So sorry to here about your circumstances, I will keep judgement about his "rat" skills to a later date He may just be an adulterer and not a rat as we know them. As far as you and your children are concerned please look after both and be aware of him trying to get back to you ( he will use the children to tug at your heart strings)if not him then maybe his family will get involved trying to keep you all together Its a tough call and only one you can make bonnie lass Am sure the lassies on here will stand by me when i say they will be here for you if and when they are needed Some talk a load of mince hahaha (only kidding ladies) but all are of good heart and will have sound advice if you need it and if you want to rant off at a man then am here for that as well You take care of you and yours and be safe at all times the hairy one
hi everyone thought i'd up date you all on everything thats been going on. well my divorce is in progress in england. funny thing is his family have disowned him for what he has done to us.i have been to tunisia regarding the house and business and its all safe with me. the rat won't get a penny. since all this happened i found out he had been seeing several girls for sex. they always say what goes around comes around nad he's lost his job and sleeping on the floor in his friends house. thank you all for your support xx
I am glad you go on with your life and hope your children are doing fine Khaled1. Good tunisian families do exist and they are right to stand on your side, what he has done is unacceptable even to them. So he's going down the path of misery and getting what he deserves... Am also happy that in Tunisia your rights are preserved, even legally I am sure that in Tunisia what he has done will convince every judge to condamn him and get things in your advantage. Keep up the spirits dear and time will heal all wounds!
Good to hear tha your house and business are safe, Khaled. It is great that his family have disowned him, and he is having a hard time. I am a strong believer in Karma, and he is facing the music now.
Thanx for letting us know how things are going for you Khaled. I hope you and your children are in a good and happy place emotionally. This man clearly does not deserve the lovely family he had, i cant understand such a mentality. I know of another guy who had a beautiful wife,child and a lovely home, but threw it all away. Life goes on without these idiots, you are so much better off xxx
Dear Khaled 1,i have just discovered the thread and i am glad to read that you found support here and in his own family and that your personal and financial interests are preserved despite the shock you received. I think your story is beyond our main concern here about rattery as Highlander already pointed out...the more you get to know Tunisian men, married or not, the more you realize the very common dissociation they make between love and sex ,as a kind of heritage of the past authorized polygamy , whether they live in Tunisia or in Europe , it's the same.And even beyond the religious law,it is a cultural heritage so deeply part of the "collective incounsciousness".It takes centuries to get out of this influence...and i am not sure the arabic societies will ever evoluate on this point as too often women can't or don't fight enough against it.For Tunisian men,being faithful is not one of their priority even when engaged and married and "in love"(and not only among rats) . I heard very often good young guys engaged to a virgin tunisian speaking without decency or shame of all the other girls they sleep with until they get married...how weard for european and occidental mentalities ...there's a "cultural"gap you cannot cross...the question of being faithful is so important in a healthy relationship or wedding , i have the feeling you can never give thoroughly your trust when having a love affair with a tunisian or arabic man ...even women repeating they are happily married or engaged come here and check more often than not what's going on...Being a Twag is really a difficult choice ,you heart can never be totally in peace... i know of course there are exceptions as always but the whole cultural background doesn't help like in europe and united states ...
Amber what about the Libertine approach of your fellow countrymen? It has always been thought of by us Brits that a Frenchman often has a mistress.... my close friend went to France as a young girl and realised even then how this was accepted, the patriarch of the family saw nothing wrong with trying to seduce her also. I am saying that this behaviour is echoed in many other nationalities in various ways not just Tunisians or Arabs by a long chalk.
OMG , where do i begin ?this a topic ! i don't know if the litteraly called "Libertine approach" is very common in France ,not more than in any other european country i guess? i think it concerns a small minority of people deciding together as a couple that they behave this way , it's an agreement ...you know that's one of the main defense of one of our well-known citizen involved in a very serious trial...whereas to me he is sick ...but these men are exceptions... I think i undertsand what you say when refering to France as people seem to be more forgiving and comprehensive than anglosaxon countries towards adultery, even one of our past president had two families...may be we don't talk so much about it and prefer to hide it but it is not well tolerated or accepted whatever people say ... and adultery is not the common law at all , it's even the first cause of divorce among young couples here , women and men don't hesitate to stop everything at the first misbehaviour without even trying to understand what happened ...other topic for old couples ...and nobody would find normal for an engaged or married man to sleep everywhere he wants in France ...French are quite romantic and even unrealistic sometimes and want and expect all with and from the one same person( too many expectations)...My thought about the differences between europe and let's say "Africa" was more general, agreeing that there are exceptions.I don't pretend i have the knowledge to make reliable sociological comparisons but it's a reflexion based on testimonies i receive and personal experience ... of course men are men everywhere in the world , with internal and eternal struggle between their three organs "head ,heart and ..."but i meant that the"frame of society" rules a lot the personal behaviours and in europe there's still a kind of "nevrotic curtain or belt", with differences between may be Italy , Spain and France on one hand and more anglosaxon countries on the other hand ...but we do have a judeochristian social guilt still operating , no?even if personal behaviours can go wrong too... what i feel about arabic societies is that the guilt is not so strong , they are still much more phallocratic indeed and even mothers brings up their boys giving them too much power !no "castration" sense ,boys are"fed" like kings who can do whatever they want ...i am not expecting to be followed on that point but these societies have years to go before women are more respected, really respected and treated as equals and before men start to refrain their sexual appetite because they don't look at it as disrespect to their women ...i find it hard to explain myself properly but nothing will convince me that arabic men do not feel entitled by the context that they can do what they want to...
Oh my god this story is so shocking. So glad she kicked him to the kerb, these men have got no moral's whatsover! It's sickening how these rat's could stoop so low. I feel sorry for the children.
