Advice about a friendship !!!

Discussion in 'Rat on a Rat' started by Galleta, Jan 21, 2019.

  1. Brasilgirl

    Brasilgirl Well-Known Member

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    :eek:
     
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  2. Galleta

    Galleta Well-Known Member

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    How do you delete a thread of conversations you’ve started? Need to do this but can’t see how to do it
     
  3. Jisela

    Jisela Well-Known Member

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    I don't think you can delete a thread, but you can delete your comments on this thread and ask for your profile to get deleted.
     
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  4. AmberHeart

    AmberHeart Lady Amberheart of Gafsa

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    Are you ok?
     
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  5. Galleta

    Galleta Well-Known Member

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    Yes thank you just got a bit paranoid that he maybrecognise who I am and couldn’t deal with any aggro .. too much stress going on st the moment
     
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  6. Heidi

    Heidi The Sleuth

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    Don't worry, if he is not a rat, he will not know about TLR ;)
     
  7. Galleta

    Galleta Well-Known Member

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    Yes, I don’t think he knows about this site - but I got a bit paranoid and thought, better safe than sorry !
     
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  8. Masha

    Masha Well-Known Member

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    Be brave Galleta. Your story is powerful and a warning for others. What can such a shadow of a real man do to you in the end? Post one of your ugliest pictures hh?[​IMG] You have a hundred where you will look fabulous. You can be proud of yourself for letting others know about what happened in your life. You can contribute to the fact that many women will recognise they are in danger. It is like you are a famous lawyer who defends a good case. And he? He will always remain a meaningless trickster who will be left to spit venom when he understands you have spoilt his bezness. They should be in jail not free dining on the money they have stolen. Women must stick together! Together we are strong and build opposition. Even if they can touch your ass sometimes it means nothing in comparison to the final victory.
     
    Last edited: Jan 23, 2019
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  9. Galleta

    Galleta Well-Known Member

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    Yes you’re right
    Thanks for the encouragement
    I’m sort of accepting the blame as well for being silly.. as the saying goes, you reap what you sow..hope I’ll get through it ok
     
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  10. Masha

    Masha Well-Known Member

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    You are a little depressed and that is why you feel guilty.

    It’s guilt that can lead to self-doubt or even self-harm. For a scientist - Borchard, guilt sparks insecurity, indecision and even poor decisions. “It colors my decisions and my conversations and I’m always second-guessing myself.
    You are doing well and soon winter will be over. You will overcome all on your way to be extra strong, independent emotionally and free from this never ending fool's paradise you have with that fellow.
     
  11. Galleta

    Galleta Well-Known Member

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    I
    thanks I hope so! Still trying to work out what makes him so addictive! Hes not one of those sweet talking types and I’ve talked to handsomer and cleverer before without this obsession !
     
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  12. Jisela

    Jisela Well-Known Member

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    Maybe it's not about him, and it's about you? Like, maybe you're really needing some support and you don't realize it.
     
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  13. Epiphany

    Epiphany Well-Known Member

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    It's a spell...black magic
     
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  14. Jisela

    Jisela Well-Known Member

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    A lot of people don't realize the power of words. And, how communication can be used to gain reactions in people. I think narcissists understand this verbal "black magic" and use it to subdue their targets.
     
  15. Epiphany

    Epiphany Well-Known Member

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    Exactly. I have to locate the website where it talks about how it's well used in those countries no joke
     
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  16. Jisela

    Jisela Well-Known Member

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    For instance, narcissists use a lot of repetitive words of comfort and love, like a trusted family member. Initially, a person rejects accepting these affirmations and building a bond with them, but over time, these boundaries are broken. It's after this point the narcissist's words of love and comfort become overwhelming, then they're used to gain other rights and permissions. Then, these words are withdrawn. It's a form of spell craft through words.
     
  17. Jisela

    Jisela Well-Known Member

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    An honest individual will never realize this is happening, because they're using words honestly and simply. Most people will not make untrue declarations of love. Love is a big promise and a big deal, and is very sacred. For narcissists, they use words like to probe you and press buttons and find out what works to gain authority, control, and get entry into your life.
     
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  18. Jisela

    Jisela Well-Known Member

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    I study Mass Communication and am a writer, so I really am in tune with these things, plus other body language and signals. It doesn't always help me, and I have been played this way before. But, now, I protect myself in other ways. I've learned to look for other signals based on moral indicators.
     
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  19. Masha

    Masha Well-Known Member

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    I guess you find him very attractive and he uses the well known method of the stick and carrot that works with almost everybody. You now believe that no other guy so young and handsome will be interested in you and he is special cause he doesn't sweet talk you - this is the stick end the I am not actually so available. Galleta maybe you are right. Maybe you will not meet another one that your heart will beat so fast for but try to be realistic and ensure safety for yourself and kids. You are a mature woman who does not need a fantasy relationship based on insecurity and nothing solid. Do not move towards the fire even if there is a promise of adrenaline boost.He is so far away and he has managed to destroy your brain hormone balance [​IMG] and what could happen if you let him into your life.
     
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  20. Epiphany

    Epiphany Well-Known Member

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    Galleta, I have felt everything you are feeling, the addictiveness, the obsession, the despair when you haven't spoken for a day or so, so I get it. Hard to understand why or what to do about it.
    Mine wasn't someone I would normally go for either but eventually grew on me.
     
  21. Brasilgirl

    Brasilgirl Well-Known Member

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    He knows what to say to you. They are experts at sizing you up and knowing exactly what to say.
     
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  22. Mango Chutney

    Mango Chutney Well-Known Member

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    Shit, girl.....have you seen my freak? He looks like a medical experiment gone wrong! There was no sweet talking...I don't like stuff like that, he was thick as shit.....but the dick still pulled me in!
    Words are an incredibly powerful tool....you can wound somebody deeper with words than with actions. These freaks had the words, and we had the soft and dippy hearts.
     
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  23. Galleta

    Galleta Well-Known Member

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    How did you get over him eventually? Or Haven’t you yet
     
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  24. Judithlyn

    Judithlyn Well-Known Member

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    Hehehe! Ratting ages them quickly! I thought mine was 40 for nearly a year. It turned out he was only 25. I was sooooo shocked. I only found out the truth when I was living with him in Tunisia! Ugh! He always had troubles with his birth year! I don’t think Tunisia teaches Math or Biology!
     
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  25. Epiphany

    Epiphany Well-Known Member

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    I have my days, I'm not gonna lie. He is not quite a 100% out of my head yet but I am getting there. It's definitely a process.
    I ended things with him in the earlier stages because I found TLR while searching for information on Tunisian culture thank God.

    Coming here, fighting for other members, reading their stories is what's best. It helps me to help others, including you.
    Each day that passes, he fades more and more from my mind, that's enough to know that I will be alright.
     

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