Advice please

Whyme

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Dec 6, 2018
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27
I met this man 2 years ago, been over a few times since. I’m 7 years older than him. Most contact is online or FaceTime most of the time he’s the kindest sweetest man I’ve ever met. Every so often he turns into a nasty pig. One day he loves me then the next he hates me, he insults me, then i’ll get I’m marrying my cousin or a Tunisian woman. he always apologises when he’s in this mood. He owns his own businesses, shop taxi & coffee shop when I’ve been I’ve never paid for anything not even my cigs. He pays for everything. I’ve met his family & all his friends. I feel like he’s playing mind games. Am I being taken for a ride?
 
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Laura2014

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[email protected], I’m sorry to say but there are a number of red flags in your brief message.

You met him on line, you are seven years older, he plays mind games. All very negative signs.

Could you clarify?
When you visit have you stayed with him or his family or in a hotel or apartment?
Do you stay with him?
Are you divorced or have children from a previous relationship?
Have you met members of his family?
Has he paid for your flights or accommodation?
Has he asked you to marry him or to invest in a future financially there.

Lots of questions, apologies but important to ascertain in order to give best advice.
 
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I really dont know why anyone would tolerate this type of behaviour to be honest, that alone would have me reeling

Are you sure these are his businesses and not just a family members that he is putting as down to his?
Seems strange he would have a cafe, shop and a taxi.
Yeah maybe cafe and shop but no idea how this taxi would come into his world.
Is he the driver of this taxi?
 

Whyme

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27
Met all his family. Stayed in hotels with him. I’m not divorced yet been a long process & I have a son. He’s paid for flights & hotels. Never asked for anything or money or to invest. I’ve seen electric bill for the shop in his name. He has 2 drivers working for him & picked up a brand new car from the Peugeot garage in Tunis last time I was there
 

Laura2014

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Met all his family. Stayed in hotels with him. I’m not divorced yet been a long process & I have a son. He’s paid for flights & hotels. Never asked for anything or money or to invest. I’ve seen electric bill for the shop in his name. He has 2 drivers working for him & picked up a brand new car from the Peugeot garage in Tunis last time I was there
Thanks for the info. Can you say his age, Has he been married? Does he have children. Are his family supportive of the relationship?

It’s fairly unusual for them to pay for flights and hotels.

Are you planning to marry him? Has he met your child?

I ask this because in general
(although not exclusively) families prefer their son marry a Tunisian, usually from a local known family from good ‘stock’. That means pure, a virgin and Muslim with no skeletons.

Age difference beyond a couple of years is not really approved of. The fact that you are divorced with a child in their eyes would not be welcome.

Fishing online is not how a good Tunisian man finds a partner. Although it does happen and their are occasional instances of success, mostly here we are aware when things don’t work out.

Something made you look here so I’m guessing you have a gut feeling about something?
 

The Blue Angel

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Joined
May 31, 2018
Messages
16
I met this man 2 years ago, been over a few times since. I’m 7 years older than him. Most contact is online or FaceTime most of the time he’s the kindest sweetest man I’ve ever met. Every so often he turns into a nasty pig. One day he loves me then the next he hates me, he insults me, then i’ll get I’m marrying my cousin or a Tunisian woman. he always apologises when he’s in this mood. He owns his own businesses, shop taxi & coffee shop when I’ve been I’ve never paid for anything not even my cigs. He pays for everything. I’ve met his family & all his friends. I feel like he’s playing mind games. Am I being taken for a ride?
I'm sorry to say but this man is a Rat...and an Narcissist...his beahaviour is typicall for an Rat.
He want something from you...maybe a Visa...and with his behaviour he already have shown towards you when he is in bad mood...this will increase when he has got what he wants.Im sorry but I would run from him fast if I where You.
 

Mango Chutney

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12,362
I met this man 2 years ago, been over a few times since. I’m 7 years older than him. Most contact is online or FaceTime most of the time he’s the kindest sweetest man I’ve ever met. Every so often he turns into a nasty pig. One day he loves me then the next he hates me, he insults me, then i’ll get I’m marrying my cousin or a Tunisian woman. he always apologises when he’s in this mood. He owns his own businesses, shop taxi & coffee shop when I’ve been I’ve never paid for anything not even my cigs. He pays for everything. I’ve met his family & all his friends. I feel like he’s playing mind games. Am I being taken for a ride?
Hello Whyme, welcome :love:

I'm sorry....but I'm gonna be another Laura: Questions, questions :p
Something here doesn't add up at all :confused:

. How many times have you met this man in the flesh?
. Is his family very wealthy?
. What part of Tunisia are they from?
. Have you seen the family home?
. Have you seen the taxis and businesses?
. How did he pay your flights? Only a painfully wealthy Tunisian could do that....and those sort have Tunisian wives, not internet strangers.
Where does he live?

He is a rat...have no doubt of that.
 
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There is some travel agencys there that allows a person to pay for flights monthly
But i really do find this all very strange.
Yeah many people do have their fingers in alot of ' pies' but it is all just so random.

I am not doubting what you are saying but i am doubting these business's are all his.
If you dont speak or understand the language then beleive me no one has a clue to what goes on here, the pretense etc.
But regardless anyway whats true or not noway nope would i put up with that shite.
Talking to you like that is just not acceptable at all.
 

Mystery

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Aug 17, 2018
Messages
2,031
Hi welcome,
It is absolutely correct they can change in a heart beat. He's been really nice now he's doing the angry mood next he will block you.
You will miss him and do anything to get him back. Why because now he got you hook line and sinker or at least he thinks he have.
He will unblock you make excuses and boom he will ask you for something.
If he is honest all of the above won't happen.
If you pm me his business address I'll do some fishing for you. If its just walk passed or get a taxi.
 

Dangerous Beans

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Joined
Aug 21, 2018
Messages
28
I suspect it's more likely that another victim has unknowingly paid for those flights.
Two or three businesses, that's a lot of stuff that can break, while exuding trustworthiness regarding paying back. Some incongruos aspects like him paying but the overall picture looks ratlike to me. Skim the threads, they sound oddly familiar after the fifth or sixth.

You're brave to listen to your doubts, well done Whyme.
 

Heidi

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Dec 9, 2009
Messages
14,380
Hi Whyme and welcome :) you know him for two years, he pays for everything, even your flights, but he threatens you, that he will marry his cousin or another tunisian woman. Why is that? Does he think that you don't get a divorce fast enough? About his business, are there other members in his family with the same name?
 

Brasilgirl

Senior Rat Expert
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Feb 28, 2018
Messages
2,830
Welcome Whyme.
It can be difficult to spot a rat tese days until you get to know them a bit. Some are so obvious. But I see new rats appearing. Working rats, some with wealth. They want out of Tunisia, and with a permanent residence, they can bring their family over to your country too. I noticed that some Tunisian men who are obviously not poor have been flirting with me. I just brush them off because I know more about Tunisians now. He could have a good job, good business, but just not want to stay. The Tunisian economy is bad. The whole country is at risk of being over run by terrorists in the next few years. I can see why some may just want to take their family out if they can. A single son could be encouraged to try the bezness for the future of his family.
Now, my bet is that the start can be just like that, but bezness is like gambling. Once they get a taste, they become like the rest.
His family will support his games because they want their share of his benifits, such as gifts. Etc. Watch the red flags and keep your mind open. Bad times can change good people. So please be careful.
A good Tunisian man will not date off the internet or a tourist. If he does, there is always something he wants. Visa, PR, if not from you, from the children you have together.
 
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Whyme

New Member
Joined
Dec 6, 2018
Messages
27
Thanks for the info. Can you say his age, Has he been married? Does he have children. Are his family supportive of the relationship?

It’s fairly unusual for them to pay for flights and hotels.

Are you planning to marry him? Has he met your child?

I ask this because in general
(although not exclusively) families prefer their son marry a Tunisian, usually from a local known family from good ‘stock’. That means pure, a virgin and Muslim with no skeletons.

Age difference beyond a couple of years is not really approved of. The fact that you are divorced with a child in their eyes would not be welcome.

Fishing online is not how a good Tunisian man finds a partner. Although it does happen and their are occasional instances of success, mostly here we are aware when things don’t work out.

Something made you look here so I’m guessing you have a gut feeling about something?
His family seem supportive of us. His mum seems to love me & cries when I go home. Met all the family mum, dad, brothers sisters, aunts uncles etc. He’s 33 never married or any children. He’s met my son. Haven’t talked about marriage
 
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Messages
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Whyme what nationality are you? Sorry if you have said and i missed it

I will have to disagee with you brasil girl familys cannot just come to any country .in the uk this is a no.
However besides that i do agree with the rest of your statement
 

Whyme

New Member
Joined
Dec 6, 2018
Messages
27
Hello Whyme, welcome :love:

I'm sorry....but I'm gonna be another Laura: Questions, questions :p
Something here doesn't add up at all :confused:

. How many times have you met this man in the flesh?
. Is his family very wealthy?
. What part of Tunisia are they from?
. Have you seen the family home?
. Have you seen the taxis and businesses?
. How did he pay your flights? Only a painfully wealthy Tunisian could do that....and those sort have Tunisian wives, not internet strangers.
Where does he live?

He is a rat...have no doubt of that.
I have been over 7 times. Been to the family home. Nicely decorated & furnished just a normal house. Someone has money but not sure who. Yes seen taxi & shop & coffee shop. He lives in El Kef. I’ve noticed a few of his friends have married women from England, Russia, America & Canada. Sent me money via western union. He sends gifts via the post too. There’s something apparently on the way for my son’s birthday & Christmas
 

Whyme

New Member
Joined
Dec 6, 2018
Messages
27
There is some travel agencys there that allows a person to pay for flights monthly
But i really do find this all very strange.
Yeah many people do have their fingers in alot of ' pies' but it is all just so random.

I am not doubting what you are saying but i am doubting these business's are all his.
If you dont speak or understand the language then beleive me no one has a clue to what goes on here, the pretense etc.
But regardless anyway whats true or not noway nope would i put up with that shite.
Talking to you like that is just not acceptable at all.
I have picked up a little Arabic & I can speak french
 

Whyme

New Member
Joined
Dec 6, 2018
Messages
27
Hi welcome,
It is absolutely correct they can change in a heart beat. He's been really nice now he's doing the angry mood next he will block you.
You will miss him and do anything to get him back. Why because now he got you hook line and sinker or at least he thinks he have.
He will unblock you make excuses and boom he will ask you for something.
If he is honest all of the above won't happen.
If you pm me his business address I'll do some fishing for you. If its just walk passed or get a taxi.
I’m waiting for the blocking or deleted photos from his profile.
 

Whyme

New Member
Joined
Dec 6, 2018
Messages
27
Hi Whyme and welcome :) you know him for two years, he pays for everything, even your flights, but he threatens you, that he will marry his cousin or another tunisian woman. Why is that? Does he think that you don't get a divorce fast enough? About his business, are there other members in his family with the same name?
My divorce probably isn’t coming fast enough I’ve told him a little white lie that I don’t work
 

Whyme

New Member
Joined
Dec 6, 2018
Messages
27
Welcome Whyme.
It can be difficult to spot a rat tese days until you get to know them a bit. Some are so obvious. But I see new rats appearing. Working rats, some with wealth. They want out of Tunisia, and with a permanent residence, they can bring their family over to your country too. I noticed that some Tunisian men who are obviously not poor have been flirting with me. I just brush them off because I know more about Tunisians now. He could have a good job, good business, but just not want to stay. The Tunisian economy is bad. The whole country is at risk of being over run by terrorists in the next few years. I can see why some may just want to take their family out if they can. A single son could be encouraged to try the bezness for the future of his family.
Now, my bet is that the start can be just like that, but bezness is like gambling. Once they get a taste, they become like the rest.
His family will support his games because they want their share of his benifits, such as gifts. Etc. Watch the red flags and keep your mind open. Bad times can change good people. So please be careful.
A good Tunisian man will not date off the internet or a tourist. If he does, there is always something he wants. Visa, PR, if not from you, from the children you have together.
I wondered about the visa & if he’s waiting for any benefits from my son he will have a long wait
 

Apples

Junior Rat Expert
Joined
Sep 30, 2018
Messages
1,190
I have been over 7 times. Been to the family home. Nicely decorated & furnished just a normal house. Someone has money but not sure who. Yes seen taxi & shop & coffee shop. He lives in El Kef. I’ve noticed a few of his friends have married women from England, Russia, America & Canada. Sent me money via western union. He sends gifts via the post too. There’s something apparently on the way for my son’s birthday & Christmas
He sent you money through Western Union?
 
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