Amazing Actors of Hammamet!

M

Madame2010

Guest
My friend gave me a dvd of footage she shot on our last holiday in November. Some of this footage featured myself and Joe and I have to say what I saw was so incredible it actually made my stomach flip.

Looking at him on the dvd, you would have thought that for him, I was the only woman alive on the planet and you would have put money on the fact he adored me. He was hugging me - always touching me actually - rubbing my back, smiling at me, attentive, joking, kissing me constantly... and yet all the time he was pretending. He knew he had other women and when I found out and let him know I knew, he never contacted me again. This was how little I meant to him. But to look at it there in front of me two weeks before I found out... jeeze these guys are fantastic actors. No wonder my friends were also taken in by him. They really do go all out to make you believe they are really into you and truly love you.

And the Oscar goes to...
 
L

Liana

Guest
I don't know if the majority here will agree with me but a self-respecting and serious about you ,Tunisian man does not hug, kiss you or caress you in public because this means disrespect for the woman and himself according to the local conduct rules. They will do all that in private , away from the inquisitive eye or any cameras though and compensate you dearly. This is what I have learnt in the UAE and Tunisia as well. Hence, a man who does the opposite is a rat or a bad Muslim , if it changes anything anyway.;)
 
M

Madame2010

Guest
joe, great tunisian name that...yer probably better off.:coffee:
Heck I know I'm better off mezoo. ;) It just amazed me to see it there on my screen really.
He's Jawher really. Pronounced as JJJoe-har (sounds better if you use a French accent) and therefore to his mates he's simply Joe.
Mx
 
M

Madame2010

Guest
I don't know if the majority here will agree with me but a self-respecting and serious about you ,Tunisian man does not hug, kiss you or caress you in public because this means disrespect for the woman and himself according to the local conduct rules. They will do all that in private , away from the inquisitive eye or any cameras though and compensate you dearly. This is what I have learnt in the UAE and Tunisia as well. Hence, a man who does the opposite is a rat or a bad Muslim , if it changes anything anyway.;)
Course I'm sure you're right Liana. I know this now. I didn't though. He's really not a good Muslim by any stretch of the imagination now is he? He drinks (lots!), smokes, gambles, I never saw him pray although he did observe Ramadan! Obviously he sleeps around too. I just assumed that Tunisia was far more liberal than I was led to believe initially. The only time he refrained from public displays of affection was during Ramadan but he still gambled then.
Mx
 
L

Liana

Guest
Thanks Madame. That is why it makes me furious when children are forced to learn their religion at school( in Poland - catholic RE) ,instead of the subject called ''Education on Religions'' which would give them insight into different behavioural aspects around the world. Now , in the times of globalism and when people are travelling widely it would benefit everyone. Does anyone from the government up there read our threads????
 

BrownGirl

Moderator And Queen of Summaries
One thing that has puzzled me - does being a bad Muslim make one a Rat? Are there not people in Tunisia who reject the religion they were brought up in, just as in Europe? And does the younger generation not reject old local conduct rules, again just as they do in Europe?
 
L

Liana

Guest
I don't think there are many of those who reject the religion being brought up in a Muslim family. I have never heard of such cases and if they do there will be a FATWA on them . As to young age, they are attracted to Western lifestyle but it all depends on their background. If the father is strict he will not allow his son to go the other way. Those who visit the Mosque are also under the pressure of a community to behave accordingly. Others, will go astray due to weakness of character, needs or lack of control especially when they work, study or live far away from their family. I have also known many Muslims from other regions and I believe that religion is deeply rooted in them and at some point in life it will become more meaningful. The piligrimage to Mekkah also will change many if experienced. What is important to add , that being a non-believer I respect people with values if they are using them the right way and not pressing others to follow on. As for Muslim born Arabs that spend their time in disco bars, drinking alcohol, wearing pimp-like clothes and whistling at ladies- well, I don't think I would befriend them for my personal reasons. I can only say what I have learnt so far.
 

BrownGirl

Moderator And Queen of Summaries
Thanks Liana, I find it hard as an athiest to understand the control religion still has over many people. However I'm not sure I agree that going astray from your family's religion can be called "weakness of character" - is it not just freedom from the restrictions of your parents' generation? Does that not happen in Tunisia as it does anywhere?
I'm not talking about the rats - they have no respect for themselves or others. My personal view - you can drink alcohol in a disco bar, wear dodgy clothes but still have respect (not sure about the whistling though!).
 
L

Liana

Guest
I cannot say anything more. It is also difficult to generalize as each is an individual case basically. Islam is different and more restrictive than Christianity . There is no salvation for a heavy sinner. I would also be very careful if a Muslim in his own land behaved as I mentioned , drank alcohol in a disco bar, wore metrosexual clothes , hugged you in public or pretended he was all American by lifestyle and talk. I would label him a rat ( or an upper class show-off if he were wealthy). Here I say 'I' because that is based on my observations.
 
D

DragonZest

Guest
Thanks Liana, I find it hard as an athiest to understand the control religion still has over many people. However I'm not sure I agree that going astray from your family's religion can be called "weakness of character" - is it not just freedom from the restrictions of your parents' generation? Does that not happen in Tunisia as it does anywhere?
I'm not talking about the rats - they have no respect for themselves or others. My personal view - you can drink alcohol in a disco bar, wear dodgy clothes but still have respect (not sure about the whistling though!).
My opinion is that there will be ones who do not believe but go along with it anyways due to culture. Living in Chrisitian countrys, we have alot more options, we have the right to choose if we believe or not believe where as if they are muslim, even if they were just brought up in a muslim family and they reject the faith then that is a sin and as fair as i know it is ment to be punishable by death?? (not 100% on this one). so basically i think that the ones who do not believe would never admit this especcially in their own country (if it is a muslim country) as it would cause trouble! Also in Tunisia if a man wishes to marry a muslim woman then he must also be a muslim so if he rejected his religion then he would not be able to marry like 98% of the female population in Tunisia by law.
 

mezoo

The Decider
around and around

I don't know if the majority here will agree with me but a self-respecting and serious about you ,Tunisian man does not hug, kiss you or caress you in public because this means disrespect for the woman and himself according to the local conduct rules. They will do all that in private , away from the inquisitive eye or any cameras though and compensate you dearly. This is what I have learnt in the UAE and Tunisia as well. Hence, a man who does the opposite is a rat or a bad Muslim , if it changes anything anyway.;)
i agree with you. in uae though it is much stricter with regard to displays of affection in public, especially if a couple is not married. jail to them i've seen in the past few years. not seen that in tunisia,,,yet. generally though in tunisia, ive seen some levels of affection, though as you said a "self respecting" tunisian guy keeps the display at home, out of respect for his wife and family. aehhhh i don't know if a man is a "rat" though just by giving his wife or lady a hug or maybe affectionate kiss..hmmm or even as far as calling the guy a "bad" muslim. i dont know...i see a lot of holding hands everywhere. even in small towns at dory dory time each day....:coffee:
 

mezoo

The Decider
to be or not to be

Course I'm sure you're right Liana. I know this now. I didn't though. He's really not a good Muslim by any stretch of the imagination now is he? He drinks (lots!), smokes, gambles, I never saw him pray although he did observe Ramadan! Obviously he sleeps around too. I just assumed that Tunisia was far more liberal than I was led to believe initially. The only time he refrained from public displays of affection was during Ramadan but he still gambled then.
Mx
this fellow is not to far off from a normal tunisian guy though. (my kinda guy...lol) it's when and if they "take the turn" and become a rat or a "regular guy"....lol :coffee: and during ramadan, go to any seaside cafe in bizerte and there's loads of men and women non observant. i don't think there is anything wrong with that in a civil society. they are muslim, try telling anyone they are not..:coffee: or that they are bad, though most may admit to being bad, they value freedom. :coffee:
 
S

Susie

Guest
sigh... they are very good actors indeed... sucked in even the hardest and cynical of women (myself !) after spending the day cavorting in the pool, my actor towel dried my hair for me and brushed it through with my hairbrush... then fetched me a drink and held my hand as we sunbathed. My video footage of this magical time would also win 'most romantic blockbuster of the year' starring Mr heart-throb and Miss Sucked in....
their lives depend on oscar winning performances, dont they? - they are bound to be good.
But if you have your wits about you AND know what it feels like to be in love (for real) you will spot those tell tale signs of forgetting lines, slipping up on little details and bad scripts....
In the end, girls ... its your film - you are the leading lady - walk away with your head held high and reap the rewards of knowing you did the right thing!
 
M

Madame2010

Guest
sigh... they are very good actors indeed... sucked in even the hardest and cynical of women (myself !) after spending the day cavorting in the pool, my actor towel dried my hair for me and brushed it through with my hairbrush... then fetched me a drink and held my hand as we sunbathed. My video footage of this magical time would also win 'most romantic blockbuster of the year' starring Mr heart-throb and Miss Sucked in....
their lives depend on oscar winning performances, dont they? - they are bound to be good.
But if you have your wits about you AND know what it feels like to be in love (for real) you will spot those tell tale signs of forgetting lines, slipping up on little details and bad scripts....
In the end, girls ... its your film - you are the leading lady - walk away with your head held high and reap the rewards of knowing you did the right thing!
oooh I love that. Gosh we have some fantastic writers on here. What a fabulous way with words Susie.
Mx
 

mezoo

The Decider
at a crossroad

One thing that has puzzled me - does being a bad Muslim make one a Rat? Are there not people in Tunisia who reject the religion they were brought up in, just as in Europe? And does the younger generation not reject old local conduct rules, again just as they do in Europe?
this ties into the discussion with madame2010. the younger generation is "loosening" up and "chilling" out. in my opinion. i currently am involved in the lives of my 16 year old nephew, my 19 year old nephew and maher who is 27. they're daily activities and what they values are a bit different than their fathers (my age) in many ways, but each, for sure is a muslim in belief, good, bad or whatever activities. once again, the society is trying to be "civil" rather than "theocratic", in my view. so the freedom to choose from many "rues" is greater than the generation before them. it's interesting to be a part of this..:coffee: and hoping they don't turn out to rat vs regulars guys.:coffee:
 

mezoo

The Decider
not a weakness of character-just freedom of thinking

Thanks Liana, I find it hard as an athiest to understand the control religion still has over many people. However I'm not sure I agree that going astray from your family's religion can be called "weakness of character" - is it not just freedom from the restrictions of your parents' generation? Does that not happen in Tunisia as it does anywhere?
I'm not talking about the rats - they have no respect for themselves or others. My personal view - you can drink alcohol in a disco bar, wear dodgy clothes but still have respect (not sure about the whistling though!).
the imposition of religion in a young boy or girl begins from the start of life and 99.99999% of the time there is never a "choice" presented and therefore by the time they are young adults, there will never ever be a change in the view of themselves as this religion. it is brainwashing and nothing else says this correct. they can not comprehend that they will ever "change" or revert/convert to another religion. it's just not ever in a (theocratic based) society. in the western countries it is freedom that has taught us there are other religions and we can be any one we want or none at all!!. civil society freedom from religion is how that exists.:coffee:
 

mezoo

The Decider
hmmmmmmmmmmmm

My opinion is that there will be ones who do not believe but go along with it anyways due to culture. Living in Chrisitian countrys, we have a lot more options, we have the right to choose if we believe or not believe where as if they are muslim, even if they were just brought up in a muslim family and they reject the faith then that is a sin and as fair as i know it is meant to be punishable by death?? (not 100% on this one). so basically i think that the ones who do not believe would never admit this especially in their own country (if it is a muslim country) as it would cause trouble! Also in Tunisia if a man wishes to marry a muslim woman then he must also be a muslim so if he rejected his religion then he would not be able to marry like 98% of the female population in Tunisia by law.
i agree with you. culture is the driver and it is changing the country. the current discourse in the country is ostensibly being pushed by legal and journalists but underneath there are really hidden hands stirring a pot for all the wrong reasons, as bad as it seems. you are so close in what you say. :coffee:
 

BrownGirl

Moderator And Queen of Summaries
this ties into the discussion with madame2010. the younger generation is "loosening" up and "chilling" out. in my opinion. i currently am involved in the lives of my 16 year old nephew, my 19 year old nephew and maher who is 27. they're daily activities and what they values are a bit different than their fathers (my age) in many ways, but each, for sure is a muslim in belief, good, bad or whatever activities. once again, the society is trying to be "civil" rather than "theocratic", in my view. so the freedom to choose from many "rues" is greater than the generation before them. it's interesting to be a part of this..:coffee: and hoping they don't turn out to rat vs regulars guys.:coffee:
I would hope that even rejecting the "old values", they can still hold onto the really important values such as respect for others - something that I was always taught and know I have passed on to my daughter, but with our most important value (in my opinion) - use the knowledge I have passed on to figure it out for yourself! We aren't always right!
 

mezoo

The Decider
sigh... their lives depend on oscar winning performances, dont they? - they are bound to be good. In the end, girls ... its your film - you are the leading lady - walk away with your head held high and reap the rewards of knowing you did the right thing!
oooh I love that. Gosh we have some fantastic writers on here. What a fabulous way with words Susie.
Mx
your so right. great prose. the descriptions here just......take you back to tunisia.......:ben: :coffee:
 
C

Caramel

Guest
sigh... they are very good actors indeed... sucked in even the hardest and cynical of women (myself !) after spending the day cavorting in the pool, my actor towel dried my hair for me and brushed it through with my hairbrush... then fetched me a drink and held my hand as we sunbathed. My video footage of this magical time would also win 'most romantic blockbuster of the year' starring Mr heart-throb and Miss Sucked in....
their lives depend on oscar winning performances, dont they? - they are bound to be good.
But if you have your wits about you AND know what it feels like to be in love (for real) you will spot those tell tale signs of forgetting lines, slipping up on little details and bad scripts....
In the end, girls ... its your film - you are the leading lady - walk away with your head held high and reap the rewards of knowing you did the right thing!
Susie, I can just see the re-play in slow motion. :cry::rofl2:
 
M

Madame2010

Guest
My opinion is that there will be ones who do not believe but go along with it anyways due to culture. Living in Chrisitian countrys, we have alot more options, we have the right to choose if we believe or not believe where as if they are muslim, even if they were just brought up in a muslim family and they reject the faith then that is a sin and as fair as i know it is ment to be punishable by death?? (not 100% on this one). so basically i think that the ones who do not believe would never admit this especcially in their own country (if it is a muslim country) as it would cause trouble! Also in Tunisia if a man wishes to marry a muslim woman then he must also be a muslim so if he rejected his religion then he would not be able to marry like 98% of the female population in Tunisia by law.
Yep. Makes a lot of sense that Dragonzest.
I reckon they go with flow and believe when it suits them.
As long as they can marry whoever they want and do whatever they want, when they want they'll go along with it.
Mx
 
Top