Another rat: Ossama Saidi

Anna2you

Major Ratslayer
My husband turned out to be a rat as well. Really i feel so stupid for not believing that he was the same as the others on here. I guess he was a good pretender. I imagine as the rest of the women here i paid for all the immigration expenses and brought him to my country, helped him with all that he needed. He now has a job and a car and does not need me any more. He is not willing to reimburse me for any of the expenses. I have called immigration. His received permanent status and the condition was that he stays with me for 2 years. Immigration said that it did not matter and they will still investigate. I have written them a letter but i am not sure what will happen with this. I feel used. He made me cry and suffer for 3 years since he came to my country and i don't feel very sad to be honest but rather numb. I think i had enough.
 
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Croydon girl

Major Ratslayer
My husband turned out to be a rat as well. Really i feel so stupid for not believing that he was the same as the others on here. I guess he was a good pretender. I imagine as the rest of the women here i paid for all the immigration expenses and brought him to my country, helped him with all that he needed. He now has a job and a car and does not need me any more. He is not willing to reimburse me for any of the expenses. I have called immigration. His received permanent status and the condition was that he stays with me for 2 years. Immigration said that it did not matter and they will still investigate. I have written them a letter but i am not sure what will happen with this. I feel used. He made me cry and suffer for 3 years since he came to my country and i don't feel very sad to be honest but rather numb. I think i had enough.
So sorry this happened to you!
 

Anna2you

Major Ratslayer
It is amazing that they can live with themselves after they do this. He had no excuses except that i was demanding to have a normal marriage..like a partner that does his share of housework, takes initiative in doing simple things like suggesting any sort of outings or brings anything home while he is out. lol he brought a cake couple of times once because he got his drivers licence and that was supposed to be enough for me for the rest of my life i guess.
 

Anna2you

Major Ratslayer
When he came here i was working still 2 jobs to pay for the debt i had from immigration and travelling to tunisia. I was exhausted..still had to cook that time and go shopping and clean. He never offered to help only after i got mad. Ever since he did not do any housework but about 2 months before he left i stopped cooking for him. before i used to make him hot lunches to take to work. He did pay me some money monthly but that barely covered his cost of living and i used to spend at least twice as much. even when there were extra expenses like cost of fuel and wood for winter he never offered to help me until this last time i got mad. He also would never bring any treats when i was sick he not once called me when he was out and asked if i needed anything. He used to hide treats in his car and when i asked him for a muffin one time he got mad. Our relationship was hi in the morning and good night in the evening. Other then that he spend his time on the phone or in front of the mirror when he was not at work. I could not ask him any questions because he would say i was starting a fight or start swearing at me in arabic. Once he even told me that if i dont stop talking he will kill me. When he was in Tunisa he said i will not have to work 2 jobs when he gets here but then he just said that he did not tell me to work two jobs. He would deny anything he said or did. Always accused me of planning something but when i asked for any details regarding anything he would say too many to remember and that i knew. He was also paranoid...when my sons came to visit he said that he knew i was planning something and he knew what was going on. He was carrying a knife in his pocket. also, the money he was paying me monthly supposedly he was giving me and it was not for his cost of living but just for my use i guess except that he would eat more than that sometimes. I eat at work and one day after i just got 400 worth of food he said that there was no food and that i am cheap. Another thing that i found weird that since he came to canada he never once said my name or called me by any other sort of nick name even. Only referred to me as you. He also never said that he had any feelings for me...he could not even talk about feelings. I believe he lacked any empathy. I tried to make sure he was comfortable and had everything he needed since he came here..medical, clothes, documents, english classes and a job. He never once said thank you for anything. also a month after he arrived we did not sleep in the same room..i slept on the sofa because supposedly i started snoring so in my own house i slept on the sofa. He denies that and says its because i wanted to sleep with the dogs. Then there were those silent treatments..never ending. I believe he was doing all those things on purpose to upset me..then when i got upset he said it was to start a fight and so i became the bad person and thats why he would not want to spend any time with me. I really think he planned this all out.
 
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Croydon girl

Major Ratslayer
When he came here i was working still 2 jobs to pay for the debt i had from immigration and travelling to tunisia. I was exhausted..still had to cook that time and go shopping and clean. He never offered to help only after i got mad. Ever since he did not do any housework but about 2 months before he left i stopped cooking for him. before i used to make him hot lunches to take to work. He did pay me some money monthly but that barely covered his cost of living and i used to spend at least twice as much. even when there were extra expenses like cost of fuel and wood for winter he never offered to help me until this last time i got mad. He also would never bring any treats when i was sick he not once called me when he was out and asked if i needed anything. He used to hide treats in his car and when i asked him for a muffin one time he got mad. Our relationship was hi in the morning and good night in the evening. Other then that he spend his time on the phone or in front of the mirror when he was not at work. I could not ask him any questions because he would say i was starting a fight or start swearing at me in arabic. Once he even told me that if i dont stop talking he will kill me. When he was in Tunisa he said i will not have to work 2 jobs when he gets here but then he just said that he did not tell me to work two jobs. He would deny anything he said or did. Always accused me of planning something but when i asked for any details regarding anything he would say too many to remember and that i knew. He was also paranoid...when my sons came to visit he said that he knew i was planning something and he knew what was going on. He was carrying a knife in his pocket. also, the money he was paying me monthly supposedly he was giving me and it was not for his cost of living but just for my use i guess except that he would eat more than that sometimes. I eat at work and one day after i just got 400 worth of food he said that there was no food and that i am cheap. Another thing that i found weird that since he came to canada he never once said my name or called me by any other sort of nick name even. Only referred to me as you. He also never said that he had any feelings for me...he could not even talk about feelings. I believe he lacked any empathy. I tried to make sure he was comfortable and had everything he needed since he came here..medical, clothes, documents, english classes and a job. He never once said thank you for anything. also a month after he arrived we did not sleep in the same room..i slept on the sofa because supposedly i started snoring so in my own house i slept on the sofa. He denies that and says its because i wanted to sleep with the dogs. Then there were those silent treatments..never ending. I believe he was doing all those things on purpose to upset me..then when i got upset he said it was to start a fight and so i became the bad person and thats why he would not want to spend any time with me. I really think he planned this all out.
Where does he live now?
 

Anna2you

Major Ratslayer
@Anna2you Consider seeing a psychiatrist, depression is often invisible and very dangerous, best wishes .
pardon me? i think you mean my ex should be seeing a psychiatrist. I am functioning well so far. taking care of my house, dogs and working and socializing...? My poor ex on the other hand he is working but seems not to be capable of doing anything else even for himself. I dont even know if he will survive considering he is either not able to or too lazy to even find out any simple information except shady stuff. I had to write down 5 times exactly our monthly expenses for him and he still seemed to not understand. Also, i work in mental wellness field i am sure my colleagues will let me know if i need help.
 

Med.Amine

Senior Rat Expert
pardon me? i think you mean my ex should be seeing a psychiatrist. I am functioning well so far. taking care of my house, dogs and working and socializing...? My poor ex on the other hand he is working but seems not to be capable of doing anything else even for himself. I dont even know if he will survive considering he is either not able to or too lazy to even find out any simple information except shady stuff. I had to write down 5 times exactly our monthly expenses for him and he still seemed to not understand. Also, i work in mental wellness field i am sure my colleagues will let me know if i need help.
It seems like you still care about him though ? a bit odd, all I was trying to say is for you to take care of yourself first and foremost, apologies on my part if I was unclear about that .
 

MH007

Administrator
Staff member
pardon me? i think you mean my ex should be seeing a psychiatrist. I am functioning well so far. taking care of my house, dogs and working and socializing...? My poor ex on the other hand he is working but seems not to be capable of doing anything else even for himself. I dont even know if he will survive considering he is either not able to or too lazy to even find out any simple information except shady stuff. I had to write down 5 times exactly our monthly expenses for him and he still seemed to not understand. Also, i work in mental wellness field i am sure my colleagues will let me know if i need help.
To be fair I think crossed wires and @Med.Amine was trying to be supportive as a couple of your posts mention him making you sick etc.

I'm pleased that you now seem to be handling it well even though he was awful to you - I really do hope you're okay.

MH x
 

Anna2you

Major Ratslayer
It seems like you still care about him though ? a bit odd, all I was trying to say is for you to take care of yourself first and foremost, apologies on my part if I was unclear about that .
sorry i guess i am a bit touchy and no i do not care or i would not be posting his pictures for all to see
and i would not be sending letters to immigration..i am just angry thats all ...at this point thats pretty much it
 

Anna2you

Major Ratslayer
To be fair I think crossed wires and @Med.Amine was trying to be supportive as a couple of your posts mention him making you sick etc.

I'm pleased that you now seem to be handling it well even though he was awful to you - I really do hope you're okay.

MH x
yes he did make me sick ...it took a toll on my heart..but i am dealing with that. and really thanks for the support ..i guess i feel touchy because he sure made a fool out of me. i am mostly angry that he took advantage of the situation but i guess many in his situation would. but i will be ok..i am not a push over. at least he did not put his grubby paws on my house ..i just lost a bit of money thats it. but i am ok no major debt any more because i got a great job ...we relocated to yukon...i hope he freezes his ass off. sorry. lol...it is minus 40 here today
 
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MH007

Administrator
Staff member
yes he did make me sick ...it took a toll on my heart..but i am dealing with that. and really thanks for the support ..i guess i feel touchy because he sure made a fool out of me. i am mostly angry that he took advantage of the situation but i guess many in his situation would. but i will be ok..i am not a push over. at least he did not put his grubby paws on my house ..i just lost a bit of money thats it. but i am ok no major debt any more because i got a great job ...we relocated to yukon...i hope he freezes his ass off. sorry. lol...it is minus 40 here today
Minus 40 :confused:!

Thought Scotland waa cold lol.

You are not a fool - most of us on here felt that emotion but they really are masters at their game.

We are all here because we too feel foolish but we are not.

We are genuine people that trusted a low life scummy rat.

MH x
 

Anna2you

Major Ratslayer
Minus 40 :confused:!

Thought Scotland waa cold lol.

You are not a fool - most of us on here felt that emotion but they really are masters at their game.

We are all here because we too feel foolish but we are not.

We are genuine people that trusted a low life scummy rat.

MH x
Ya i did try my best for him and he benefited a lot..i did not get nothing more than what i had before him just lost a bit ..but he did improve his life a lot..i tried all i could to help him even though he was such a douche...now i am pretty much just angry..he killed my love a while ago. but i do think he has mental health problems. He is so paranoid all the time and a real downer. He seems to not be happy with anything. Even when he went to visit family in tunisia he did not like it there no more..it was too hot and the food too spicy.
 

MH007

Administrator
Staff member
Ya i did try my best for him and he benefited a lot..i did not get nothing more than what i had before him just lost a bit ..but he did improve his life a lot..i tried all i could to help him even though he was such a douche...now i am pretty much just angry..he killed my love a while ago. but i do think he has mental health problems. He is so paranoid all the time and a real downer. He seems to not be happy with anything. Even when he went to visit family in tunisia he did not like it there no more..it was too hot and the food too spicy.
They are always unhappy and sad and life is unfair.

Ignore it - it's crocodile tears designed to make you feel guilt and pity.

They will be fast enough to laugh and brag behind your back.

MH x
 

Med.Amine

Senior Rat Expert
DABDA
The five stages of grief : Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance .
It'll take time (According to my psychiatrist), try not to keep it in, if you feel the need to yell or even swear when you remember him or so, do it
just trying to help, you'll be ok, Best wishes :thumbsup:.
 

Anna2you

Major Ratslayer
DABDA
The five stages of grief : Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance .
It'll take time (According to my psychiatrist), try not to keep it in, if you feel the need to yell or even swear when you remember him or so, do it
just trying to help, you'll be ok, Best wishes :thumbsup:.
lol please believe me i know what the stages of grief are...but thank you so much for this i do believe you trying to help. I am not depressed, i do not care for him no more...i am angry that he took advantage of me and that i helped him so much and really angry at myself for being such a person that tries to always help those around me to grow. I am also angry that he is not willing to pay me back any of the money i have spend on him. but i already grieved this relationship about year and a half ago when i finally realized that this person did not even wish me well, he was not happy that i was successful and he never supported or encouraged me to grow in any way. He is a sore looser and if i stayed with him my life would be pretty much over because there was absolutely nothing to look forward to. He in my opinion is a sociopath since he has no empathy. He is vindictive and cruel..he laughs at other peoples suffering, he is a huge liar and a coward. He has delusions of his own greatness. he is a very jealous person and cares only about his own image. He lied about so many things and did not do any of those things that he promised before he came here. I guess i just want to vent because i did not tell too many people about all this out of shame. He just wants to sit on his phone or stare at himself in the mirror...no initiative to do anything fun or productive. The only thing that i miss is the feeling i had when i imagined what life could be. I am glad i married him though because if i did not then i would always wonder what if. I was always fascinated by some aspects of his culture and at least i got to experience some of it.
 

MH007

Administrator
Staff member
lol please believe me i know what the stages of grief are...but thank you so much for this i do believe you trying to help. I am not depressed, i do not care for him no more...i am angry that he took advantage of me and that i helped him so much and really angry at myself for being such a person that tries to always help those around me to grow. I am also angry that he is not willing to pay me back any of the money i have spend on him. but i already grieved this relationship about year and a half ago when i finally realized that this person did not even wish me well, he was not happy that i was successful and he never supported or encouraged me to grow in any way. He is a sore looser and if i stayed with him my life would be pretty much over because there was absolutely nothing to look forward to. He in my opinion is a sociopath since he has no empathy. He is vindictive and cruel..he laughs at other peoples suffering, he is a huge liar and a coward. He has delusions of his own greatness. he is a very jealous person and cares only about his own image. He lied about so many things and did not do any of those things that he promised before he came here. I guess i just want to vent because i did not tell too many people about all this out of shame. He just wants to sit on his phone or stare at himself in the mirror...no initiative to do anything fun or productive. The only thing that i miss is the feeling i had when i imagined what life could be. I am glad i married him though because if i did not then i would always wonder what if. I was always fascinated by some aspects of his culture and at least i got to experience some of it.
I'm glad you found us and we are here for you to vent as much as you like.

Well done for getting rid!

The members here are here because they have been burnt and are here to try and help you.

MH x
 

Anna2you

Major Ratslayer
Another thing that really bothers me now also ..that i have had some peace and time to think about it is how he bullied me. I was barely home for the first year and a half of our relationship and he had a free reign to do whatever he wanted but he still managed to tell me that i was controlling because i sometimes asked him where he was over the phone. From the beginning i was not able to ask him any questions. Even asking what he did during the day ( just curious how his day went) he managed to turn it around and say that he is free to do what he wants and that i have a control problem because i want to know everything. I could not ask him nothing. Once i suggested we take a trip up north and we did. We were supposed to split all the costs but he payed for the first 1/4 of the trip then nothing. After the trip was over i wanted to look over all of our receipts and split the cost in half but he had another temper tantrum. He would often have temper tantrums and i started feeling like i could not ask him anything. He once tricked me into showing him my bank account. We were supposed to show each other and while i showed him mine he refused to show me his. He used to save more than half of each of his pay cheque and the past year and a half maybe 2/3. He would lie that he has no money but when i found his bank machine slip once and saw and asked him about it he started freaking out and accusing me of breaking into his bank account and said he will call police on me lol. Another time i suggested we take a drive to another town in yukon just to see how it was. He agreed but appeared grumpy all the way like he was doing me some huge favour. We stopped in a camping site and there were many campers there. I always wanted a camper van or something like that. There was a bus there made into a camper and i asked him if he would like one like that. He flipped out and called me crazy and said that he knows what i am up to. Also, he often looked at what i am doing on my phone or computer i never hid anything but he sometimes would flip out if i watched 90 day fiance and said that i just want to see what they are doing becasue i was planning something. He on the other hand would have a tantrum if i even tried to look at what he was doing on his phone. He was always paranoid. I think its because he was hidding things. Maybe looking at other women or even men who knows. Its weird how it got to that point that i was feeling uncomfortable to ask him about anything that he was doing. Really i wish i did not put up with that for so long.
 

Anna2you

Major Ratslayer
Message he send me after the split
Capture _2019-12-10-13-13-03_resized.png Capture _2019-12-10-13-13-31_resized.png


I just dont understand how i am the scammer and how did i use him...i feel like he just twists everything but i am just not sure if he is that delusional or just such a nasty person and does it on purpose. How is he starting from zero...he has lots of money in his bank and a car..unless he sent the money to tunisia he is surely not starting from zero. Also when that message was sent i was still paying for his cell but i cancelled it after he send that.
 
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tipme

Major Ratslayer
Another thing that really bothers me now also ..that i have had some peace and time to think about it is how he bullied me. I was barely home for the first year and a half of our relationship and he had a free reign to do whatever he wanted but he still managed to tell me that i was controlling because i sometimes asked him where he was over the phone. From the beginning i was not able to ask him any questions. Even asking what he did during the day ( just curious how his day went) he managed to turn it around and say that he is free to do what he wants and that i have a control problem because i want to know everything. I could not ask him nothing. Once i suggested we take a trip up north and we did. We were supposed to split all the costs but he payed for the first 1/4 of the trip then nothing. After the trip was over i wanted to look over all of our receipts and split the cost in half but he had another temper tantrum. He would often have temper tantrums and i started feeling like i could not ask him anything. He once tricked me into showing him my bank account. We were supposed to show each other and while i showed him mine he refused to show me his. He used to save more than half of each of his pay cheque and the past year and a half maybe 2/3. He would lie that he has no money but when i found his bank machine slip once and saw and asked him about it he started freaking out and accusing me of breaking into his bank account and said he will call police on me lol. Another time i suggested we take a drive to another town in yukon just to see how it was. He agreed but appeared grumpy all the way like he was doing me some huge favour. We stopped in a camping site and there were many campers there. I always wanted a camper van or something like that. There was a bus there made into a camper and i asked him if he would like one like that. He flipped out and called me crazy and said that he knows what i am up to. Also, he often looked at what i am doing on my phone or computer i never hid anything but he sometimes would flip out if i watched 90 day fiance and said that i just want to see what they are doing becasue i was planning something. He on the other hand would have a tantrum if i even tried to look at what he was doing on his phone. He was always paranoid. I think its because he was hidding things. Maybe looking at other women or even men who knows. Its weird how it got to that point that i was feeling uncomfortable to ask him about anything that he was doing. Really i wish i did not put up with that for so long.
did he bring you to meet the family
 

tipme

Major Ratslayer
Ya i did try my best for him and he benefited a lot..i did not get nothing more than what i had before him just lost a bit ..but he did improve his life a lot..i tried all i could to help him even though he was such a douche...now i am pretty much just angry..he killed my love a while ago. but i do think he has mental health problems. He is so paranoid all the time and a real downer. He seems to not be happy with anything. Even when he went to visit family in tunisia he did not like it there no more..it was too hot and the food too spicy.
i think they should built more mental hospitals there and stick it out on and island.its all the inbreeding marrying cousins
 

tipme

Major Ratslayer
yes he did make me sick ...it took a toll on my heart..but i am dealing with that. and really thanks for the support ..i guess i feel touchy because he sure made a fool out of me. i am mostly angry that he took advantage of the situation but i guess many in his situation would. but i will be ok..i am not a push over. at least he did not put his grubby paws on my house ..i just lost a bit of money thats it. but i am ok no major debt any more because i got a great job ...we relocated to yukon...i hope he freezes his ass off. sorry. lol...it is minus 40 here today
the money you get over.stay on here for support.doesnt matter how much they get.its never enough greedy bastards
 

tipme

Major Ratslayer
It seems like you still care about him though ? a bit odd, all I was trying to say is for you to take care of yourself first and foremost, apologies on my part if I was unclear about that .
dont worry he will find tunisians out of the wood work and be on the scam
 
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