Another rat: Ossama Saidi

Anna2you

Active Member
I woudlnt take any notice of him ,,,Many rats have tried to, or threatened to sue us for posting their photos or for calling them names and many have threatened the report us to the FBI....Im still waiting for an FBI officer to frisk me or push me against a wall and ask me to spread em ...If it really concerns you the best person to pm ,is @Etoyoc ,,,,But as far as i know Canada has the right to freedom of speech and as for defamation of character ,im sure you can prove you paid the bills and his cell phone and he was sponging off you .
but yes i am not removing any posts but the pictures only for now because i am not sure 100 percent and for now i dont want to get into any trouble
 

MH007

Administrator
Staff member
but yes i am not removing any posts but the pictures only for now because i am not sure 100 percent and for now i dont want to get into any trouble
What are you not 100% sure about? Read your post - this imbecile used and abused you.

You deserve so much better than him - please try and see that.

MH x
 

Anna2you

Active Member
What are you not 100% sure about? Read your post - this imbecile used and abused you.

You deserve so much better than him - please try and see that.

MH x
i am very sure i am leaving the posts on ...but i am also sure i dont want to be in trouble with the law. I only want to remove the pictures for now because he is presently in my country and can hurt me. I am not sure what you are referring to. yes he is an imbecile and abuser and user..i am leaving this post because it is my story and i want it told and seen but i am not sure about the pictures ..i mean the law regarding the pictures ..thats all.
 

simple

Ratslayer
What are you not 100% sure about? Read your post - this imbecile used and abused you.

You deserve so much better than him - please try and see that.

MH x
Hes intimidating her with legal action ,accusing her of lying ,,blah blah blah ,,,The usual rat response ,when faced with the truth ...
 

MH007

Administrator
Staff member
i am very sure i am leaving the posts on ...but i am also sure i dont want to be in trouble with the law. I only want to remove the pictures for now because he is presently in my country and can hurt me. I am not sure what you are referring to. yes he is an imbecile and abuser and user..i am leaving this post because it is my story and i want it told and seen but i am not sure about the pictures ..i mean the law regarding the pictures ..thats all.
As @simple said he is exploiting you and you have every right to post what you have.

Please try not to worry - they post no end of threats - it's typical rat behavior

MH x
 

Anna2you

Active Member
For sure ..now that i have had some distance its becoming even more clear. He would deny things to my face even right after i have seen him do something or after he said something. Its crazy making. Our last fight was the best example. I walked into his room in the evening to ask him something. He was wearing a black tank top that looked just like one of mine. I did not say nothing that time but went to the room where i keep my clothes to check if mine were there. I had 3 but none of the black ones were there. Next morning after he left for work i checked his suitcase and there they were. I took them but one was still missing. When he came home from work i asked him first if he has seen them...he said no but started looking through his dirty laundry but there were none there. So i asked him where was the one he was waring the previous night...that started it he said he was not and had no idea what i was talking about and started swearing at me and yelling in arabic...he would often yell in arabic because i guess he did not want nobody to hear what he was saying. He insulted me so i told him to just go and he did. He must have taken that one black tank top with him because i can not find it anywhere.
 

Etoyoc

Administrator
Staff member
Excerpt from the german version of "tunisia-love.com" (machine translated):

Almost everyone who has traveled to Tunisia has already encountered the phenomenon that, if you ask for the way to a specific destination, you migt, in extreme cases, get 10 different answers from 10 different people, leading to 10 different destinations.

None of these people, according to their own understanding, gave intentionally wrong or malicious information, but it was rather the case that none of these people knew the correct answer.
In order not to admit this, an answer is then given which the person believes could be true or at least comes close to the actual destination of the traveler.

On the one hand, this "saved the face", so one did not have to admit their own incompetence in this question and, on the other hand, it also helped the traveler, who at least received an answer to his question and was therefore not treated rudely, which in turn would have hurt his honor (face).

According to the western understanding, this train of thought is, of course, bizarre, to say the least. And the result is often referred to as "worthless", because the traveler, based on his experience from his home country, will often follow the advice with confidence and will ultimately not get where he wanted to go. He feels deceived and lied to.

However, this example shows a significant difference between arabic (tunisian) society and western society - while it is "dignified" for a Tunisian to present himself as flawless, it is perceived in western society as positive when someone admits his inadequacy.
If a westerner says that he does not know the answer, or apologizes for an unintentionally wrong answer, this contributes to his honesty - and even more so, the one who strives relentlessly for truth and honesty, even if doing so would bring himself disadvantages, is considered particularly honest.

The situation is different in Tunisia, where the person who presents himself as faulty is negatively sanctioned by society. Even if logic or facts prove that someone made a mistake, they will not admit it so as not to lose their dignity, which is inextricably linked to their flawlessness. In this situation, a Tunisian will endeavor to offer even the most absurd interpretations of what is happening in order to deny his own mistake.

Instead of "I dropped the camera" you will always hear "The camera fell" and even if no one else was around, personal involvement in the incident will always be denied ("I stood here and suddenly it fell down over there").

Incidentally, such an explanation is not intended to be questioned afterwards. Instead, the convention is that everyone involved knows exactly what happened, but no one will raise it because it would be understood as an attack on the other's face.

From the western point of view, however, such behavior is, on the contrary, dishonorable and is often even perceived as an apparently unfriendly act.
A westerner who behaves in this way might even be considered a mentally "sick" or pathological liar - but not in Tunisia, where personal integrity, honor, face, has greater value in society than logic or facts , What a westerner perceives as "lie", "half-truth" and "deception" in Tunisia is the social compulsion to save face, to preserve personal honor, which in this society stands above a value like truth - exactly the opposite of what applies in most western societies.


Keeping this in mind will, btw, make people understand better a lot of the (even political) things going on in the arabic world...
 
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Anna2you

Active Member
Excerpt from the german version of "tunisia-love.com" (machine translated):

Almost everyone who has traveled to Tunisia has already encountered the phenomenon that, if you ask for the way to a specific destination, you migt, in extreme cases, get 10 different answers from 10 different people, leading to 10 different destinations.

None of these people, according to their own understanding, gave intentionally wrong or malicious information, but it was rather the case that none of these people knew the correct answer.
In order not to admit this, an answer is then given which the person believes could be true or at least comes close to the actual destination of the traveler.

On the one hand, this "saved the face", so one did not have to admit their own incompetence in this question and, on the other hand, it also helped the traveler, who at least received an answer to his question and was therefore not treated rudely, which in turn would have hurt his honor (face).

According to the western understanding, this train of thought is, of course, bizarre, to say the least. And the result is often referred to as "worthless", because the traveler, based on his experience from his home country, will often follow the advice with confidence and will ultimately not get where he wanted to go. He feels deceived and lied to.

However, this example shows a significant difference between arabic (tunisian) society and western society - while it is "dignified" for a Tunisian to present himself as flawless, it is perceived in western society as positive when someone admits his inadequacy.
If a westerner says that he does not know the answer, or apologizes for an unintentionally wrong answer, this contributes to his honesty - and even more so, the one who strives relentlessly for truth and honesty, even if doing so would bring himself disadvantages, is considered particularly honest.

The situation is different in Tunisia, where the person who presents himself as faulty is negatively sanctioned by society. Even if logic or facts prove that someone made a mistake, they will not admit it so as not to lose their dignity, which is inextricably linked to their flawlessness. In this situation, a Tunisian will endeavor to offer even the most absurd interpretations of what is happening in order to deny his own mistake.

Instead of "I dropped the camera" you will always hear "The camera fell" and even if no one else was around, personal involvement in the incident will always be denied ("I stood here and suddenly it fell down over there").

Incidentally, such an explanation is not intended to be questioned afterwards. Instead, the convention is that everyone involved knows exactly what happened, but no one will raise it because it would be understood as an attack on the other's face.

From the western point of view, however, such behavior is, on the contrary, dishonorable and is often even perceived as an apparently unfriendly act.
A westerner who behaves in this way might even be considered a mentally "sick" or pathological liar - but not in Tunisia, where personal integrity, honor, face, has greater value in society than logic or facts , What a westerner perceives as "lie", "half-truth" and "deception" in Tunisia is the social compulsion to save face, to preserve personal honor, which in this society stands above a value like truth - exactly the opposite of what applies in most western societies.


Keeping this in mind will, btw, make people understand better a lot of the (even political) things going on in the arabic world...
That is so sad. It is a sad society where people excuse others for lying. How do you still respect or honor a person when you know they purposefully lied even if just to save their "honor" or face. What kind of honor is it to be known to continuously lie..how can such person be taken seriously by anybody around them? Lol it is almost comical. I mean they had some great philosophers amongst the arab people..philosophy is based on logic and that is based on facts and truths. Math is logic...ah really I have heard about the example about giving directions before ..i guess in such case i can somewhat understand. But i do not understand how a person purposefully will misslead another just to make themselves look good. lol what if they run into that person again ...Is there any honest people there who act with integrity? I mean if you want to look good why not just do what is right instead of lying. I think in any society that would be much more respectable. But i guess thank you for this exert. But in reality it just makes me feel that i need to stay away from any arab people in the future not that i would want to ever again. For me there is no honor or face saving in such lying. If you were caught red handed but deny everything ..there is no honor in this. Scamming people and bringing a shame to your whole family has no face saving value in my mind. To me that is still sick. Really i feel sorry for them to have to live in a society full of liers so desperate to save their face that they dont care about hurting others or making themselves look like sociopathic, pathological liers. Also, by giving wrong information just to make themselves look good to me they make themselves look like a bunch of idiots...there are many cultures in the world and most of them have somewhat similar basic values that stand for kindness, honesty etc. Again thanks so much just that i can not relate to this way of thinking lol. But thank you for this ...somehow this has made me feel a bit better. To be honest being subjected to this behaviour almost daily for the past 3 years made me feel like somehow it was my fault. I dont have much patience for nonsense and walking on egg shells so i guess in a way i have contributed to this. But being quiet in the face of all this would have send me into depression i think or even a mental institution.

also i am curious how does a person grow or learn new things if they present themselves as "know it alls" who never do anything wrong....so sad.. honestly i am so happy i dont have to live there because i am sure i would have lost my mind if i was faced with this from everyone i interacted with on daily basis.
 
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Laurence

Senior Rat Expert
So sorry for what happened to you Anna2you!
Your husband is a narcissic manipulating pervert, a 100 %!
Please Don't try to understand him, he's a sociopath and 0 contact is the best way to handle those people. Also some professional help, even in written, such as "Les manipulateurs et l'amour " of Isabelle Nazare-Aga (hope it's translated in English by now) will help you understand and stay strong.
 

Blossum

Member
hi every one ..this is what my husband wrote to me...i guess he must have just seen this...according to my knowledge and what the police tild me i can record or take pictures of whatever i want at my discression ...does anybody know if there is any truth to this?

"Hi. i just want to tell you that. You put my picutre and name and say lie and bad thinks about me in that site and cal me rat all of this is illegal in canada you not have right to put anythink about anybody without his permission and give it to all people to watch and talk about me when they even not know me that is illegal you not have right to do this and You lie and say there that i carry knife in my poket when your sons come visite. Even you know that time we do work at the garden and thats why i used knife for the garden . And i never threatening you to kill you So just let you know that i will protect myself and you need to delet that post and stop lie about me. "
hahahahaha, the threat! I knew it was coming. He has no legal grounds to stand on. Trust me. Burden of proof is on him to prove you’re lying. Writing things about others is called libel, not slander. However, the person has to prove that you lied. It’s not libel if it’s true. He’s an idiot.

My rat did this same thing except he is stuck in Tunisia. I told him to sue me. Go for it. I’d love to nail him to the wall. Don’t give in to his demands. Keep outing him. Go see an immigration attorney and they can help you.
 

Anna2you

Active Member
hahahahaha, the threat! I knew it was coming. He has no legal grounds to stand on. Trust me. Burden of proof is on him to prove you’re lying. Writing things about others is called libel, not slander. However, the person has to prove that you lied. It’s not libel if it’s true. He’s an idiot.

My rat did this same thing except he is stuck in Tunisia. I told him to sue me. Go for it. I’d love to nail him to the wall. Don’t give in to his demands. Keep outing him. Go see an immigration attorney and they can help you.
Lol also look how in this message his language has changed so drastically from the message he has send me before (pictures of the message are above) Now that he knows others can see ...but this reasonable normal talking is not him...must be somebody helped him to write this maybe his new girlfriend or somebody. He is such a fake...he will not stay nice for long i am sure because he can not be a good compasionate person and anybody he is with is going to get upset with that and eventually it will start...mostly as soon as they express that they dont like some of his behaviour.
 

Anna2you

Active Member
I had a bad dream last night. Woke up in the middle of the night. I dreamed that I went for a walk and saw him making out with one of his coworkers. He saw me and continued to do what he was doing then they both started to laugh at me when they saw me crying. I just woke up and could not go to sleep after and started thinking about all the times he did not show me any compassion. Once when he first came here and we walked and i feel down because it was icy and he just asked me what was wrong with me. Did not offer to help me at all. Also my shoulder was sore because i hurt it in the past and it would often hurt when i was carrying bags of groceries or something heavy. He never once offered to go grocery shopping with me. We had a fight one time and he went and spend couple of nights in a hotel. He said that he wanted to try once more and i agreed but told him he needs to change few things and that i did not want to go grocery shopping again. He agreed to go with me but never did. We did not go absolutley no where together. In the past i would ask him and say lets go somewhere ..when i initiated it or payed for it thats the only time we would go. After the fight he asked me to go and eat and we did but then i felt so shitty because he barely talked to me and only looked at one of the waitresses. After our last trip that time when he told me that i was crazy and up to something because i asked him about the camper bus we never went no where. That was in July. Even though since that time he got a car and a licence but not one time did he suggest that we go anywhere. Just before he went for holiday to Tunisia he took me to a store and bought me a bracelet. I was so happy because it was the first time he took me to a store to buy me something nice. Before each time he went to the store was to buy gifts for people in tunisia or himself and never once even asked if i needed anything. I thought he was nice being nice to me when he got me the bracelet. But then he asked me to buy his ticked on my visa. I did but he did not pay me back the full amount. Also, when i took him to the airport his bank card out of the sudden did not work and i had to pay for his extra laguage. then while he was in Tunisia and during that time he did not pay me any money for any of the bills.
When we were in our old home there were some kids that used to throw garbage into our garden and kicked the ball into the sidding and made several holes. I asked them to not kick or throw things at the house but one of the parents said that he told them to kick the ball at my home. I was not sure what was going on because i was barely ever home and the guy called me some names and said that he can even make a party in my garden if he wanted to. My husband was there and did not say even one word to protect me. He never asked him or anybody to stop damaging our home and ignored it completely. He was not concerned with the home at all but then said that if it was not for him i could not have such a good life and a home. Also, In the new house i wanted to do some improvements but he was angry and said that it was too much money and would not help me.I had the home before i even knew him. I was going to sign half to him to be honest if we had a normal mariage. But when i have seen that he only cares for himself and it did not appear to me that he was planning to stay with me (because he was adding all those women on his facebook and liking their pictures that were not decent and when i would pick him up from work he would ask me to meet him at another store away from his work and i felt like he was hidding something, he was also giving the food i cooked for him for lunch and share it with one of his female coworkers.) or do anything in the home i decided i would not. When i bought the new house after we moved he said that he was paying for that year and a half for the house and he deserves that i put his name on it and that it was only because of him that i had a good life. He was very angry that i said no. I felt bad that i said no but i just had the vision that i would be left by myself sick and with not even a roof over my head if he had anything to do with it. Some times when he was cruel i would cry to the point when i was hyperventilating but all he would say was that it was just crocodile tears and that he does not care. I realized he did not care for me at all and his only concern was money. Then he would just go and lock himself in his room and sit on his phone. He would never change his behavour. Things only got from bad to worse. When he was still in tunisia he would say to me that he had two good things about him..loyalty and truthfullness...oh god i can only now laugh at myself for believing that.
 
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Anna2you

Active Member
When we went on that trip up north some days i was driving 8 or 9 hours. He not once asked me if i wanted something to drink or offered to get me coffee or nothing. Then when we stopped and i started unpacking our camping gear he just stood there and watched me. I got upset of course. Same when it came to cleaning the houe. I was workign 7 days a week but before thanksgiving i had to clean after coming from work and cook. I remember that one time there was a kitchen full of dirty dishes including all weeks worth of his food containers from the lunches i used to cook for him. He was just sitting in the living room in the armchair on his phone. I also got upset and threw one plastic container into the sink after cleaning for some time and just run out of the house for a car ride. Then also i remember that time after i bought us the cell phones for christmas i got some points for it so i took him to the store to get him some more clothes. Not once while there did he say do we need anything for the home or do you need anyting. It did hurt my feelings considering i ve spend so much on his ticket and appeal and everything else. He was just willing to take and take and not offer absolutely nothing back. And when he got his job i made sure he had the shoes he needed and anything else...but after he got his paycheque he did not even think at all if i needed anything. Every time there was a birthday, valentines, anniversary if i did not ask him how come he does not think to get me any present i would not get nothing. Maybe it was wrong of me to expect anyting at all? Anyway, all this times and others that i pointed it out to him that how he was behaving was not nice and its not what people here did made me into a bad person who only says something bad to him and makes him feel not normal. Of course all those things he will deny but just say that i am a bad person and i make him feel bad. Also the past 6 months i barely talked asked him for anyting and i did not want to start any fights. But then he would start that there was not enough food or come into my room and yell that i was watching 90 day fiance...i felt like he was planning to leave me and was starting the fights on purpose. Even though he knew my heart was bad and it was not good for me to be upset and stressed. Also he can get free things for the home from his work when the customers return them because the store just throws them out. I asked him for a vacuum and even said i will pay but he would not bring it ...it seemed that he purposefully wanted to not do anything that may have made me happy. In the past he did bring home a heater and some screwdrivers but i did not ask for anything then.
 
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March

Active Member
When we went on that trip up north some days i was driving 8 or 9 hours. He not once asked me if i wanted something to drink or offered to get me coffee or nothing. Then when we stopped and i started unpacking our camping gear he just stood there and watched me. I got upset of course. Same when it came to cleaning the houe. I was workign 7 days a week but before thanksgiving i had to clean after coming from work and cook. I remember that one time there was a kitchen full of dirty dishes including all weeks worth of his food containers from the lunches i used to cook for him. He was just sitting in the living room in the armchair on his phone. I also got upset and threw one plastic container into the sink after cleaning for some time and just run out of the house for a car ride. Then also i remember that time after i bought us the cell phones for christmas i got some points for it so i took him to the store to get him some more clothes. Not once while there did he say do we need anything for the home or do you need anyting. It did hurt my feelings considering i ve spend so much on his ticket and appeal and everything else. He was just willing to take and take and not offer absolutely nothing back. And when he got his job i made sure he had the shoes he needed and anything else...but after he got his paycheque he did not even think at all if i needed anything. Every time there was a birthday, valentines, anniversary if i did not ask him how come he does not think to get me any present i would not get nothing. Maybe it was wrong of me to expect anyting at all? Anyway, all this times and others that i pointed it out to him that how he was behaving was not nice and its not what people here did made me into a bad person who only says something bad to him and makes him feel not normal. Of course all those things he will deny but just say that i am a bad person and i make him feel bad. Also the past 6 months i barely talked asked him for anyting and i did not want to start any fights. But then he would start that there was not enough food or come into my room and yell that i was watching 90 day fiance...i felt like he was planning to leave me and was starting the fights on purpose. Even though he knew my heart was bad and it was not good for me to be upset and stressed. Also he can get free things for the home from his work when the customers return them because the store just throws them out. I asked him for a vacuum and even said i will pay but he would not bring it ...it seemed that he purposefully wanted to not do anything that may have made me happy. In the past he did bring home a heater and some screwdrivers but i did not ask for anything then.
I am very sorry that this happened to you
 

Anna2you

Active Member
I am very sorry that this happened to you
Thank you so much...it is so nice to have people who understand what all this did to me. He made me feel like a crazy and bad person for wanting anything and for saying anything. To him it made me a bad person that i would tell him if i did not like something he was doing. It meant that i wanted to start a fight. He would usually yell in arabic and i could not understand nothing then go to his room. Nothing ever got resolved..he was not interested in any compromises or solution to any arguments. It was if he could not get his way then i was simply bad. If i had not enough money then i was cheap. If i fall down or got hurt then something was wrong with me. No sense of responsibility. He held it against me that i had a home, good job and decent car. I was continuously trying to make sure we had comfortable home and good food...mainly for him. Anything i went anywhere i would always think what he needed and buy him presents. He would say that nothing was expensive what i got him. Really i think i was so stupid. And then to be called a user and a scammer..just because i asked him to contribute the 800 to our budget when i was spending all i had on loans, bills, food, entertainment and whatever else was needed. He seemed to not understand that he has to pay for his living expenses and was acting like the 800 he gave me was a gift to me. One time i said to him that it would be nice if he helped me save money also but he just sneared at me. He was so resentful that he had to help out. I guess in his head he expected that he should not have to pay for anything and save all his money who knows for what. I do feel hurt that he treated me like this. I did not hide anything from him and when he was still in Tunisia i always told him i expected him to help out. I dont know if he actually did not understand the situation or was he just pretending so that he could have his way. It seems like he made this relationship all about money.
 
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minnie

Well-Known Member
Thank you so much...it is so nice to have people who understand what all this did to me. He made me feel like a crazy and bad person for wanting anything and for saying anything. To him it made me a bad person that i would tell him if i did not like something he was doing. It meant that i wanted to start a fight. He would usually yell in arabic and i could not understand nothing then go to his room. Nothing ever got resolved..he was not interested in any compromises or solution to any arguments. It was if he could not get his way then i was simply bad. If i had not enough money then i was cheap. If i fall down or got hurt then something was wrong with me. No sense of responsibility. He held it against me that i had a home, good job and decent car. I was continuously trying to make sure we had comfortable home and good food...mainly for him. Anything i went anywhere i would always think what he needed and buy him presents. He would say that nothing was expensive what i got him. Really i think i was so stupid. And then to be called a user and a scammer..just because i asked him to contribute the 800 to our budget when i was spending all i had on loans, bills, food, entertainment and whatever else was needed. He seemed to not understand that he has to pay for his living expenses and was acting like the 800 he gave me was a gift to me. One time i said to him that it would be nice if he helped me save money also but he just sneared at me. He was so resentful that he had to help out. I guess in his head he expected that he should not have to pay for anything and save all his money who knows for what. I do feel hurt that he treated me like this. I did not hide anything from him and when he was still in Tunisia i always told him i expected him to help out. I dont know if he actually did not understand the situation or was he just pretending so that he could have his way. It seems like he made this relationship all about money.
 

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Anna2you

Active Member
I have just read this article...omg it is exactly like him except for the controlling part...he did not obviously control me , just to control the situation to what we ate, what i watched on tv and he seemed obsessed with the idea that somebody may try to control him which i surely did not even want to but all the other parts describe exactly what he was doing.
 
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