Another rat: Ossama Saidi

tipme

Junior Rat Expert
Another thing that really bothers me now also ..that i have had some peace and time to think about it is how he bullied me. I was barely home for the first year and a half of our relationship and he had a free reign to do whatever he wanted but he still managed to tell me that i was controlling because i sometimes asked him where he was over the phone. From the beginning i was not able to ask him any questions. Even asking what he did during the day ( just curious how his day went) he managed to turn it around and say that he is free to do what he wants and that i have a control problem because i want to know everything. I could not ask him nothing. Once i suggested we take a trip up north and we did. We were supposed to split all the costs but he payed for the first 1/4 of the trip then nothing. After the trip was over i wanted to look over all of our receipts and split the cost in half but he had another temper tantrum. He would often have temper tantrums and i started feeling like i could not ask him anything. He once tricked me into showing him my bank account. We were supposed to show each other and while i showed him mine he refused to show me his. He used to save more than half of each of his pay cheque and the past year and a half maybe 2/3. He would lie that he has no money but when i found his bank machine slip once and saw and asked him about it he started freaking out and accusing me of breaking into his bank account and said he will call police on me lol. Another time i suggested we take a drive to another town in yukon just to see how it was. He agreed but appeared grumpy all the way like he was doing me some huge favour. We stopped in a camping site and there were many campers there. I always wanted a camper van or something like that. There was a bus there made into a camper and i asked him if he would like one like that. He flipped out and called me crazy and said that he knows what i am up to. Also, he often looked at what i am doing on my phone or computer i never hid anything but he sometimes would flip out if i watched 90 day fiance and said that i just want to see what they are doing becasue i was planning something. He on the other hand would have a tantrum if i even tried to look at what he was doing on his phone. He was always paranoid. I think its because he was hidding things. Maybe looking at other women or even men who knows. Its weird how it got to that point that i was feeling uncomfortable to ask him about anything that he was doing. Really i wish i did not put up with that for so long.
\when u mention the campervan.your thinking ahead what yous two could do in the future,hes freaked out cos all hes thinking visa.make sure you change all your bank details.once i come back to are house and in all the papers he had kept a page with my bank account on it.i ripped it up and said nothing.this down the line when u split he has your details
 

tipme

Junior Rat Expert
oh another thing he said to me is that i was jelous when he got a job. I drove him to places where he could look for work and for interviews. I even offered to support him when he went to school but he said he is done with schools. Only think i felt jeaous of is that he was adding all those women to his facebook and liking their half naked pictures. I would not be surprised if he hooked up with one of them. I just feel sorry for whoever it is because they have no idea what they are dealing with. Only wish they would pay his immigration fees instead of me. I dont understand how he seems to not remember nothing that i did for him. I guess he was never planning to stay in this relationship so at some point he would say dont do anything for me except i guess when it came to money...he never once said dont spend so much money on food or the house or the trips or when it came to buying somethign for him. he also did not seem to mind when i cooked or drove him to or from work, did his laundry, cleaned up after him or helped him learn how to drive, found out where he can renew his passport, etc.
His only chore was to take out the garbage once a week which he often forgot and in winter time to keep the fire going which he complained and asked me whey i dont bring some wood in. Oh, he also dug out the potatoes from the garden but left them in the rain. I guess it was too much because it kept him away from his phone.
when u meet them.they do everything for you,and u think there a good man.when u get to no them there lazy bastards.how they can walk by all that rubbish and dont bat an eyelid.then they come uk and live the same way
 

tipme

Junior Rat Expert
When we went on that trip up north some days i was driving 8 or 9 hours. He not once asked me if i wanted something to drink or offered to get me coffee or nothing. Then when we stopped and i started unpacking our camping gear he just stood there and watched me. I got upset of course. Same when it came to cleaning the houe. I was workign 7 days a week but before thanksgiving i had to clean after coming from work and cook. I remember that one time there was a kitchen full of dirty dishes including all weeks worth of his food containers from the lunches i used to cook for him. He was just sitting in the living room in the armchair on his phone. I also got upset and threw one plastic container into the sink after cleaning for some time and just run out of the house for a car ride. Then also i remember that time after i bought us the cell phones for christmas i got some points for it so i took him to the store to get him some more clothes. Not once while there did he say do we need anything for the home or do you need anyting. It did hurt my feelings considering i ve spend so much on his ticket and appeal and everything else. He was just willing to take and take and not offer absolutely nothing back. And when he got his job i made sure he had the shoes he needed and anything else...but after he got his paycheque he did not even think at all if i needed anything. Every time there was a birthday, valentines, anniversary if i did not ask him how come he does not think to get me any present i would not get nothing. Maybe it was wrong of me to expect anyting at all? Anyway, all this times and others that i pointed it out to him that how he was behaving was not nice and its not what people here did made me into a bad person who only says something bad to him and makes him feel not normal. Of course all those things he will deny but just say that i am a bad person and i make him feel bad. Also the past 6 months i barely talked asked him for anyting and i did not want to start any fights. But then he would start that there was not enough food or come into my room and yell that i was watching 90 day fiance...i felt like he was planning to leave me and was starting the fights on purpose. Even though he knew my heart was bad and it was not good for me to be upset and stressed. Also he can get free things for the home from his work when the customers return them because the store just throws them out. I asked him for a vacuum and even said i will pay but he would not bring it ...it seemed that he purposefully wanted to not do anything that may have made me happy. In the past he did bring home a heater and some screwdrivers but i did not ask for anything then.
report him and get him deported
 

Anna2you

Active Member
report him and get him deported
Well i hope the immigration can see through his lies and manipulation. He is so manipulative..that time when he said that he will kill me if i dont stop talking i went to a counsellor. I took him also for the second appointment..in the second appointment he talked for the whole time and made me look like a controlling bad person who only has bad things to say to him. He lied and sweet talked her and all i could do is sit there and cry because i could not believe how he can be so manipulative. At the end of the session she told me that i have attachment disorder...i have barely said 2 sentences maybe during that session. I will never see that counsellor again. She never asked him about the killing threat or did not even refer to that.
 
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