are there any genuine ones??!

Mango Chutney

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Joined
Aug 29, 2015
Messages
11,448
Now, how awesome is that, fucking perfection, the prophet thought even of the poop in our anuses, went to Allah and had a meeting,set the rules and even took measures to prevent men from humping each other while Bro_pooping ...
B*llocks did he....I've never come across so many grown men banging each other for a dinar!!
I truly struggle with getting my head around this gross toilet procedure involving fingers and shite...it literally makes me feel sick. I actually just can't find the words to describe how ill it makes me feel :sick::sick:
 

Heidi

Staff member - Moderator
Joined
Dec 9, 2009
Messages
13,970
A Muslim's Guide to Anal Hygiene

"Islam teaches that the condition of the body affects the condition of the spirit, so it's essential to be clean at all times—especially before offering prayers. Unlike you may have been lead to believe, Muslims don't just throw their hands between their cheeks and have a good root around after we've been to the toilet. Any, "Ooh, watch out, you shouldn't shake the left hand of a Muslim" myths—implying, again, that our hands are permanently dusted with shit particles—are ridiculous and offensive."

https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/vdp838/how-clean-is-your-arse
 

Hannibal - The Tunisian

Active Member
Joined
Jan 26, 2017
Messages
249
Now , i dunno about other Tunisians , but since i'm Tunisian , let me clarify what i was taught concerning cleaning up .

The hose cleaning / "bidet" idea is actually of French origin, it was invented first time by french women to clean their genitalia from semen after sex , but then it evolved and was regarded as an effective way to clean one's bottom after pooping .if you go to France ,you will find a bidet hose in the toilet.
now of course it It may differ from one person to an other , this is what i was taught as a kid :

Step 1- poop
step 2 - use the bidet hose to clean bottom by spraying pressurized water WITHOUT ANY USE OF FINGERS because that is useless and stupid and the idea of using the hose in the first place is to from PREVENT TOUCHING poop.

step 3 - use toilet paper to dry w et area
step 4 - flush
step 5 - use green soap to wash hands.



 
Last edited:

magic

Well-Known Member
Joined
Mar 11, 2015
Messages
2,272
Now , i dunno about other Tunisians , but since i'm Tunisian , let me clarify what i was taught concerning cleaning up .

The hose cleaning / "bidet" idea is actually of French origin, it was invented first time by french women to clean their genitalia from semen after sex , but then it evolved and was regarded as an effective way to clean one's bottom after pooping .if you go to France ,you will find a bidet hose in the toilet.
now of course it It may differ from and other , this is what i was taught as a kid :

Step 1- poop
step 2 - use the bidet hose to clean bottom by spraying pressurized water WITHOUT ANY USE OF FINGERS because that is useless and stupid and the idea of use the hose in the first place is to PREVENT TOUCHING poop.

step 3 - use toilet paper to dry titillated area
step 4 - flush
step 5 - use green soap to wash hands.



I do find it hard to believe they would actually touch their poop
 

magic

Well-Known Member
Joined
Mar 11, 2015
Messages
2,272
Now , i dunno about other Tunisians , but since i'm Tunisian , let me clarify what i was taught concerning cleaning up .

The hose cleaning / "bidet" idea is actually of French origin, it was invented first time by french women to clean their genitalia from semen after sex , but then it evolved and was regarded as an effective way to clean one's bottom after pooping .if you go to France ,you will find a bidet hose in the toilet.
now of course it It may differ from one person to an other , this is what i was taught as a kid :

Step 1- poop
step 2 - use the bidet hose to clean bottom by spraying pressurized water WITHOUT ANY USE OF FINGERS because that is useless and stupid and the idea of use the hose in the first place is to PREVENT TOUCHING poop.

step 3 - use toilet paper to dry titillated area
step 4 - flush
step 5 - use green soap to wash hands.



What I don't understand is when I had to use it and there was no toilet roll or towel ( in my place I mean .. towel drying outside, run out of toilet paper) well , I'd be a little titillated , but he never was ? !
 

Mango Chutney

Moderator
Joined
Aug 29, 2015
Messages
11,448
I do find it hard to believe they would actually touch their poop
Me: Big twat, we've run out of toilet roll!

Houssem: I know, I'll get some later.

Me: But what if I need the toilet?

Houssem: (laughing) Well, you've just been to the toilet, what did you do?

Me: I only needed a big wee. I just showered my entire lower half, used shower gel, got dried and dressed again, but I can't have a shower every time I go for a wee! Can't you get some now please? What happens if I need 'the other' and not a wee? (I was almost crying! :D)

Houssem: Well just do what we do, use the hose.

Me: The hose? That thing on the wall? Is that what you use? You don't use toilet roll?

Houssem: No, we use the hose, what did you think we used?

Me: Well, we always have toilet roll, I assumed everyone used it.

Houssem: No, we use the hose. (He was really laughing!)

Me: I don't understand, how does this work? How do you know the shit has all gone if you can't see it? What if there are still bits stuck? How can you get it all out?

Houssem: Let me explain, after you finish sheeting, you spray the water from the hose, you use two fingers from the left hand to rub, this makes sure the sheet is all gone.

Me: Silence, face like this :eek::eek:

Houssem: Don't look at me like that, it's not disgusting, it's normal here.

Me: But big twat, you have hairs all around your butt, what if the shit gets stuck? How can you possibly know it's all gone??

Houssem: Well it's easy, you just feel them with your fingers and pull them out, this makes sure all the sheet is gone before you put your clothes back on.

Me: More silence, face like this :eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

Houssem: Stop looking like that!!

Me: You put your fingers in your own shit? :eek:

Houssem: It's not like that, you just have to use your fingers to make sure all the sheet is gone.

Me: Utter silence, face like this :eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

Houssem: Stoopid, don't look like that, you make me feel bad. It's normal, it's the way I was taught to clean the sheet since I was two. You just wash your hands afterwards.

Me: But big twat....we never have any soap!! :eek: You cook my food!! :eek:

Houssem: I will go and buy some toilet roll now.

He did, he got me my toilet roll :D:D
 
Last edited:

juicyfruit

Well-Known Member
Joined
May 10, 2017
Messages
1,021
Me: Big twat, we've run out of toilet roll!

Houssem: I know, I'll get some later.

Me: But what if I need the toilet?

Houssem: (laughing) Well, you've just been to the toilet, what did you do?

Me: I only needed a big wee. I just showered my entire lower half, used shower gel, got dried and dressed again, but I can't have a shower every time I go for a wee! Can't you get some now please? What happens if I need 'the other' and not a wee? (I was almost crying! :D)

Houssem: Well just do what we do, use the hose.

Me: The hose? That thing on the wall? Is that what you use? You don't use toilet roll?

Houssem: No, we use the hose, what did you think we used?

Me: Well, we always have toilet roll, I assumed everyone used it.

Houssem: No, we use the hose. (He was really laughing!)

Me: I don't understand, how does this work? How do you know the shit has all gone if you can't see it? What if there are still bits stuck? How can you get it all out?

Houssem: Let me explain, after you finish sheeting, you spray the water from the hose, you use two fingers from the left hand to rub, this makes sure the sheet is all gone.

Me: Silence, face like this :eek::eek:

Houssem: Don't look at me like that, it's not disgusting, it's normal here.

Me: But big twat, you have hairs all around your butt, what if the shit gets stuck? How can you possibly know it's all gone??

Houssem: Well it's easy, you just feel them with you fingers and pull them out, this makes sure all the sheet is gone before you put your clothes back on.

Me: More silence, face like this :eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

Houssem: Stop looking like that!!

Me: You put your fingers in your own shit? :eek:

Houssem: It's not like that, you just have to use your fingers to make sure all the sheet is gone.

Me: Utter silence, face like this :eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

Houssem: Stoopid, don't look like that, you make me feel bad. It's normal, it's the way I was taught to clean the sheet since I was two. You just wash your hands afterwards.

Me: But big twat....we never have any soap!! :eek: You cook my food!! :eek:

Houssem: I will go and buy some toilet roll now.

He did, he got me my toilet roll :D:D
I want to install a hose or a bidet in my bath today please!
 

Hannibal - The Tunisian

Active Member
Joined
Jan 26, 2017
Messages
249
200_s.gif 200_s.gif
Me: Big twat, we've run out of toilet roll!

Houssem: I know, I'll get some later.

Me: But what if I need the toilet?

Houssem: (laughing) Well, you've just been to the toilet, what did you do?

Me: I only needed a big wee. I just showered my entire lower half, used shower gel, got dried and dressed again, but I can't have a shower every time I go for a wee! Can't you get some now please? What happens if I need 'the other' and not a wee? (I was almost crying! :D)

Houssem: Well just do what we do, use the hose.

Me: The hose? That thing on the wall? Is that what you use? You don't use toilet roll?

Houssem: No, we use the hose, what did you think we used?

Me: Well, we always have toilet roll, I assumed everyone used it.

Houssem: No, we use the hose. (He was really laughing!)

Me: I don't understand, how does this work? How do you know the shit has all gone if you can't see it? What if there are still bits stuck? How can you get it all out?

Houssem: Let me explain, after you finish sheeting, you spray the water from the hose, you use two fingers from the left hand to rub, this makes sure the sheet is all gone.

Me: Silence, face like this :eek::eek:

Houssem: Don't look at me like that, it's not disgusting, it's normal here.

Me: But big twat, you have hairs all around your butt, what if the shit gets stuck? How can you possibly know it's all gone??

Houssem: Well it's easy, you just feel them with your fingers and pull them out, this makes sure all the sheet is gone before you put your clothes back on.

Me: More silence, face like this :eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

Houssem: Stop looking like that!!

Me: You put your fingers in your own shit? :eek:

Houssem: It's not like that, you just have to use your fingers to make sure all the sheet is gone.

Me: Utter silence, face like this :eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

Houssem: Stoopid, don't look like that, you make me feel bad. It's normal, it's the way I was taught to clean the sheet since I was two. You just wash your hands afterwards.

Me: But big twat....we never have any soap!! :eek: You cook my food!! :eek:

Houssem: I will go and buy some toilet roll now.

He did, he got me my toilet roll :D:D
 

Liona

Well-Known Member
Joined
Sep 18, 2016
Messages
2,790
Me: Big twat, we've run out of toilet roll!

Houssem: I know, I'll get some later.

Me: But what if I need the toilet?

Houssem: (laughing) Well, you've just been to the toilet, what did you do?

Me: I only needed a big wee. I just showered my entire lower half, used shower gel, got dried and dressed again, but I can't have a shower every time I go for a wee! Can't you get some now please? What happens if I need 'the other' and not a wee? (I was almost crying! :D)

Houssem: Well just do what we do, use the hose.

Me: The hose? That thing on the wall? Is that what you use? You don't use toilet roll?

Houssem: No, we use the hose, what did you think we used?

Me: Well, we always have toilet roll, I assumed everyone used it.

Houssem: No, we use the hose. (He was really laughing!)

Me: I don't understand, how does this work? How do you know the shit has all gone if you can't see it? What if there are still bits stuck? How can you get it all out?

Houssem: Let me explain, after you finish sheeting, you spray the water from the hose, you use two fingers from the left hand to rub, this makes sure the sheet is all gone.

Me: Silence, face like this :eek::eek:

Houssem: Don't look at me like that, it's not disgusting, it's normal here.

Me: But big twat, you have hairs all around your butt, what if the shit gets stuck? How can you possibly know it's all gone??

Houssem: Well it's easy, you just feel them with your fingers and pull them out, this makes sure all the sheet is gone before you put your clothes back on.

Me: More silence, face like this :eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

Houssem: Stop looking like that!!

Me: You put your fingers in your own shit? :eek:

Houssem: It's not like that, you just have to use your fingers to make sure all the sheet is gone.

Me: Utter silence, face like this :eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

Houssem: Stoopid, don't look like that, you make me feel bad. It's normal, it's the way I was taught to clean the sheet since I was two. You just wash your hands afterwards.

Me: But big twat....we never have any soap!! :eek: You cook my food!! :eek:

Houssem: I will go and buy some toilet roll now.

He did, he got me my toilet roll :D:D
Thank you, dear. I feel as I have just watched educational thriller. :D
 

Mango Chutney

Moderator
Joined
Aug 29, 2015
Messages
11,448
:eek:I can't believe this sh-t! (no pun intended):eek::D
Me either! I was gobsmacked! While he went to get the toilet roll, I don't think I moved an inch, I was so shocked!
He came back, handed me the toilet roll, laughed, gave me a big hug, kissed my forehead, told me I'm so funny....and then just sat and watched TV like the moment had never happened :D I barely ate for my last few days....thank God I had no appetite by this point :D
 

Liona

Well-Known Member
Joined
Sep 18, 2016
Messages
2,790
Me either! I was gobsmacked! While he went to get the toilet roll, I don't think I moved an inch, I was so shocked!
He came back, handed me the toilet roll, laughed, gave me a big hug, kissed my forehead, told me I'm so funny....
Ah, he is so sweet :rolleyes::D:D
 

Mango Chutney

Moderator
Joined
Aug 29, 2015
Messages
11,448
I forgot to say, that evening when he popped to his parents place to get some food (I couldn't walk there anymore because of my injuries), he came back with about six more toilet rolls!! I had enough toilet roll for the remainder of my stay and more! Would love to have heard the conversation between him and his parents that resulted in a bulk load of toilet roll. I took one with me in my hand luggage when I left :D
 

beznessbitch

Well-Known Member
Joined
Aug 29, 2017
Messages
809
Me: Big twat, we've run out of toilet roll!

Houssem: I know, I'll get some later.

Me: But what if I need the toilet?

Houssem: (laughing) Well, you've just been to the toilet, what did you do?

Me: I only needed a big wee. I just showered my entire lower half, used shower gel, got dried and dressed again, but I can't have a shower every time I go for a wee! Can't you get some now please? What happens if I need 'the other' and not a wee? (I was almost crying! :D)

Houssem: Well just do what we do, use the hose.

Me: The hose? That thing on the wall? Is that what you use? You don't use toilet roll?

Houssem: No, we use the hose, what did you think we used?
Me: Big twat, we've run out of toilet roll!

Houssem: I know, I'll get some later.

Me: But what if I need the toilet?

Houssem: (laughing) Well, you've just been to the toilet, what did you do?

Me: I only needed a big wee. I just showered my entire lower half, used shower gel, got dried and dressed again, but I can't have a shower every time I go for a wee! Can't you get some now please? What happens if I need 'the other' and not a wee? (I was almost crying! :D)

Houssem: Well just do what we do, use the hose.

Me: The hose? That thing on the wall? Is that what you use? You don't use toilet roll?

Houssem: No, we use the hose, what did you think we used?

Me: Well, we always have toilet roll, I assumed everyone used it.

Houssem: No, we use the hose. (He was really laughing!)

Me: I don't understand, how does this work? How do you know the shit has all gone if you can't see it? What if there are still bits stuck? How can you get it all out?

Houssem: Let me explain, after you finish sheeting, you spray the water from the hose, you use two fingers from the left hand to rub, this makes sure the sheet is all gone.

Me: Silence, face like this :eek::eek:

Houssem: Don't look at me like that, it's not disgusting, it's normal here.

Me: But big twat, you have hairs all around your butt, what if the shit gets stuck? How can you possibly know it's all gone??

Houssem: Well it's easy, you just feel them with your fingers and pull them out, this makes sure all the sheet is gone before you put your clothes back on.

Me: More silence, face like this :eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

Houssem: Stop looking like that!!

Me: You put your fingers in your own shit? :eek:

Houssem: It's not like that, you just have to use your fingers to make sure all the sheet is gone.

Me: Utter silence, face like this :eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

Houssem: Stoopid, don't look like that, you make me feel bad. It's normal, it's the way I was taught to clean the sheet since I was two. You just wash your hands afterwards.

Me: But big twat....we never have any soap!! :eek: You cook my food!! :eek:

Houssem: I will go and buy some toilet roll now.

He did, he got me my toilet roll :D:D
Me: Well, we always have toilet roll, I assumed everyone used it.

Houssem: No, we use the hose. (He was really laughing!)

Me: I don't understand, how does this work? How do you know the shit has all gone if you can't see it? What if there are still bits stuck? How can you get it all out?

Houssem: Let me explain, after you finish sheeting, you spray the water from the hose, you use two fingers from the left hand to rub, this makes sure the sheet is all gone.

Me: Silence, face like this :eek::eek:

Houssem: Don't look at me like that, it's not disgusting, it's normal here.

Me: But big twat, you have hairs all around your butt, what if the shit gets stuck? How can you possibly know it's all gone??

Houssem: Well it's easy, you just feel them with your fingers and pull them out, this makes sure all the sheet is gone before you put your clothes back on.

Me: More silence, face like this :eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

Houssem: Stop looking like that!!

Me: You put your fingers in your own shit? :eek:

Houssem: It's not like that, you just have to use your fingers to make sure all the sheet is gone.

Me: Utter silence, face like this :eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

Houssem: Stoopid, don't look like that, you make me feel bad. It's normal, it's the way I was taught to clean the sheet since I was two. You just wash your hands afterwards.

Me: But big twat....we never have any soap!! :eek: You cook my food!! :eek:

Houssem: I will go and buy some toilet roll now.

He did, he got me my toilet roll :D:D
 
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