Welcome to TLR

Bassem Bettaibi and all the updates on his ratty behavior- steer clear!

Storm

Major Ratslayer
Exactly! My guess is he went away for a few days. Hence the new clothes, haircut
& request for money he said he needed. My parting gift to him was this message.
see pic. I work part-time and get paid cash. This is two years of saving it was for my wedding dress and everything
else I needed. It will now go towards a new car. He never knew about this money. This was my revenge as this is the only thing that will hurt him more than anything. MONEY !!!! View attachment 67317
I am happy for you! Congratulations on your recent liberation from your rat.
This is the ultimate revenge, very cool enjoy!
 

I'm not a believer

Major Ratslayer
How are you doing now @I'm not a believer ?

MH x
Hello... So kind of you to ask. I won’t lie. I have good days and bad days. Its hard not to speak to the person you’ve spoken to every day for the past 2 1/2 years. He has tried to make contact via a friend. I didn’t respond. The réalisation that I was being used tho hurts the most. That the love wasn’t genuine. As I go about life , when a thought comes in to my head about him I remind myself how bloody stupid I was to get so sucked in by his charms. Grrrr.... never again! X
 

TulpenUitAmsterdam

Senior Rat Expert
You’re gonna get through this! It’s just tough to suddenly not have that routine of talking anymore. Him trying to reach out via his friends is just another way of violating your boundaries if you told him you wanted to be left alone. Don’t call yourself stupid, anyone could have fallen for this. They are professionals at what they do and part of that is being the most charming and alluring man you think you’ll ever meet. Just be proud you got out and you’re moving on! x
 

MH007

Administrator
Staff member
Hello... So kind of you to ask. I won’t lie. I have good days and bad days. Its hard not to speak to the person you’ve spoken to every day for the past 2 1/2 years. He has tried to make contact via a friend. I didn’t respond. The réalisation that I was being used tho hurts the most. That the love wasn’t genuine. As I go about life , when a thought comes in to my head about him I remind myself how bloody stupid I was to get so sucked in by his charms. Grrrr.... never again! X
It's natural to have good and bad days but gradually the good days will overshadow the bad days until one day you feel completely free from this rat - I promise you, I saw my rat last year when I was visiting friends and I felt nothing NOTHING apart from thinking what was I thinking of.....

It's good that you are not responding but he will keep trying but don't respond at all.

Feeling used is natural because you were used and his love wasn't genuine but now that you understand that you will start to heal and feel disgust towards him.

You were NOT stupid one bit - as we say they are professional in their manipulation and learn techniques from each other whilst sitting in their shitty coffee shops or internet cafe.

Much love

MH x
 

Wannahelpu

Ratslayer
Why they do it Rose's? They see us as a bank. Money machine. That is their goal and if you stay with him he wil try for a visa in the future. They have zero respect for us. My rat did the same, endless asking for money for food, clothes, new fone or trainers. After I had blocked him a couple of times I had enough of the accusations, we are bad women :mad: . In their eyes we never send enough because other girlfriends ( European or other foreigners) give them a car. I have blocked him forever and he still tries contacting me. You shouldn't feel guilty it is not your responsibility to provide for him he can work instead of scamming women. Xxx
They have no talent, no ability, just laziness. They hate to work. But they like futile things, easy life, they want someone to pay luxury for ugly ones like them. Only a woman who is going through some obscure moment is not able to see how AWFUL they are. All other people see, except women that they "hypnotize".
My rat's wife is with that adulterer, despite knowing everything. And now she uses a photo of her with their child on her FB, so that they avoid exposing her because of the child. I would never expose a person, however, she likes to be tricked. And let him free to cheat other people here. I think she would need to be shocked to wake up. I will not do it, but the truth is that she will know by others. The victim always ends up believing in the rat. I hope she does not have to pay$$$ for the damage caused by her husband while he dated other women on her back, lying about being single. In public and with knowledge of his friends, including.
 

SouthernGirl

Major Ratslayer
Hello... So kind of you to ask. I won’t lie. I have good days and bad days. Its hard not to speak to the person you’ve spoken to every day for the past 2 1/2 years. He has tried to make contact via a friend. I didn’t respond. The réalisation that I was being used tho hurts the most. That the love wasn’t genuine. As I go about life , when a thought comes in to my head about him I remind myself how bloody stupid I was to get so sucked in by his charms. Grrrr.... never again! X
You were not stupid. He courted you and he was charming and gave you a lot of attention and naturally you fell in love and your feelings were genuine.
It’s hard now and you miss him but remember that you miss a person who didn’t exist. You miss the good man that you thought he was. You got into the habit to see him everyday for so long, so that’s normal to miss him. It will fade with time as you get in a new routine where he’s not part of anymore. You are on the right track and you‘ve got this.
Now there is no one to pester you, waste your time, lie to you and hassle you with money requests. That is good!!
I hope you have a good support system, friends, and at least one good friend whom you can talk to about anything. It’s important that your self esteem and confidence are restored and being with good people who genuinely care will help you feeling good about yourself again. You’ve been so strong and you have to be proud of yourself because you had the courage to say no, that’s enough. Please stay here and keep us updated.
 

I'm not a believer

Major Ratslayer
You were not stupid. He courted you and he was charming and gave you a lot of attention and naturally you fell in love and your feelings were genuine.
It’s hard now and you miss him but remember that you miss a person who didn’t exist. You miss the good man that you thought he was. You got into the habit to see him everyday for so long, so that’s normal to miss him. It will fade with time as you get in a new routine where he’s not part of anymore. You are on the right track and you‘ve got this.
Now there is no one to pester you, waste your time, lie to you and hassle you with money requests. That is good!!
I hope you have a good support system, friends, and at least one good friend whom you can talk to about anything. It’s important that your self esteem and confidence are restored and being with good people who genuinely care will help you feeling good about yourself again. You’ve been so strong and you have to be proud of yourself because you had the courage to say no, that’s enough. Please stay here and keep us updated.
Thank you for your kind words Southern girl . Thank you to all the members for your support. It's very much appreciated.
I feel I am grieving for someone who still living. He's probably out there having a good time & im as miserable as hell.
Will keep you all updated as & when. XX
 

simple

Major Ratslayer
Thank you for your kind words Southern girl . Thank you to all the members for your support. It's very much appreciated.
I feel I am grieving for someone who still living. He's probably out there having a good time & im as miserable as hell.
Will keep you all updated as & when. XX
Your doing a good job looking after yourself ,,Your greiving for the make believe world he tried to con you into...And im pretty sure hes not having a good time ,you gave him a big slap in the face ,when you showed him a beautiful shiney new car and lots of cash on your table...Hes more miserable than you right now,i guarentee that ,, thinking ,how did i lose all that money .Thats my girl !!
 

SouthernGirl

Major Ratslayer
Thank you for your kind words Southern girl . Thank you to all the members for your support. It's very much appreciated.
I feel I am grieving for someone who still living. He's probably out there having a good time & im as miserable as hell.
Will keep you all updated as & when. XX
Thank you, I’m not a believer. I agree with @simple that he mustn’t be having a good time right now. He must be very upset. You dumped him and showed him that you weren’t going to take his lies and poor treatment any longer and his pride was hurt. Also, he’s a cunning and mean person and these people can’t be happy. They don’t feel joy and peace because all there is in their heart and mind is darkness and evilness. He’s no exception. I read your posts since the beginning and you described well what he did and said to you. His manipulation and his blatant ridiculous lies said everything about his character.
You definitely dodged a bullet. Even though you’re going through a difficult time now and readjusting to your life which is a difficult process, many positive change are happening in you that you don’t see yet. Better times are lying ahead of you and life will soon feel good again. Many hugs to you, beautiful lady.
 

MH007

Administrator
Staff member
Thank you for your kind words Southern girl . Thank you to all the members for your support. It's very much appreciated.
I feel I am grieving for someone who still living. He's probably out there having a good time & im as miserable as hell.
Will keep you all updated as & when. XX
Hi @I'm not a believer

How's things going for you now - feeling any happier?

MH x
 

Tinker-lulu

Major Ratslayer
Exactly! My guess is he went away for a few days. Hence the new clothes, haircut
& request for money he said he needed. My parting gift to him was this message.
see pic. I work part-time and get paid cash. This is two years of saving it was for my wedding dress and everything
else I needed. It will now go towards a new car. He never knew about this money. This was my revenge as this is the only thing that will hurt him more than anything. MONEY !!!! View attachment 67317
You go girl!!! This is your money, your life! He doesn’t deserve sharing your good things, once a liar always a liar, welcome to the real YOU... Stronger and Wiser xx @I'm not a believer
 

I'm not a believer

Major Ratslayer
I was thinking the same - is everything okay with you @I'm not a believer

Hugs

MH x
Hello MH & Lass.
Thank you for your kind words.
I won’t lie. It’s been and, still is a difficult time.
The rat has contacted me by phoning my mobile direct. Asking me to unblock him.
So far I haven’t succumbed . When you’ve spoken to someone almost every day for
over 2 years then suddenly , nothing. It’s difficult . I’ve even had his brother messaging
me. Telling me , how much I’m missed and to please not give up his brother . He tells me
the family are all waiting for me. That, my place is with them as one of the family.
Ive since blocked his brother. It’s too much like emotional blackmail.
Too many lies, too much disrespect on his part. I’d be deluded if I told my self that he was with me
for any other reason than for money & visa. It still hurts though. I’ve now just got to keep moving forward
and not looking back . As hard as it is. X
 

MH007

Administrator
Staff member
Hello MH
Thank you for your kind words.
I won’t lie. It’s been and, still is a difficult time.
The rat has contacted me by phoning my mobile direct. Asking me to unblock him.
So far I haven’t succumbed . When you’ve spoken to someone almost every day for
over 2 years then suddenly , nothing. It’s difficult . I’ve even had his brother messaging
me. Telling me , how much I’m missed and to please not give up his brother . He tells me
the family are all waiting for me. That, my place is with them as one of the family.
Ive since blocked his brother. It’s too much like emotional blackmail.
Too many lies, too much disrespect on his part. I’d be deluded if I told my self that he was with me
for any other reason than for money & visa. It still hurts though. I’ve now just got to keep moving forward
and not looking back . As hard as it is. X
I'm glad you are okay but I'm sad he is putting you through all this.

It's incredibly hard breaking free but you are doing the right thing by blocking them. Gradually you will stop feeling this pain and begin to heal and realise how drained he made you.

You are free now - able to do what you want, see who you want and most importantly be who YOU want to be.

Proud of you

Hugs

MH x
 

Lass

Major Ratslayer
Hello MH & Lass.
Thank you for your kind words.
I won’t lie. It’s been and, still is a difficult time.
The rat has contacted me by phoning my mobile direct. Asking me to unblock him.
So far I haven’t succumbed . When you’ve spoken to someone almost every day for
over 2 years then suddenly , nothing. It’s difficult . I’ve even had his brother messaging
me. Telling me , how much I’m missed and to please not give up his brother . He tells me
the family are all waiting for me. That, my place is with them as one of the family.
Ive since blocked his brother. It’s too much like emotional blackmail.
Too many lies, too much disrespect on his part. I’d be deluded if I told my self that he was with me
for any other reason than for money & visa. It still hurts though. I’ve now just got to keep moving forward
and not looking back . As hard as it is. X
So good to hear from you. You are doing amazing. I can imagine it must be very hard and emotionally draining. Just take it day by day. Sending loads of hugs xx
 

Butterflies

Major Ratslayer
Hello MH & Lass.
Thank you for your kind words.
I won’t lie. It’s been and, still is a difficult time.
The rat has contacted me by phoning my mobile direct. Asking me to unblock him.
So far I haven’t succumbed . When you’ve spoken to someone almost every day for
over 2 years then suddenly , nothing. It’s difficult . I’ve even had his brother messaging
me. Telling me , how much I’m missed and to please not give up his brother . He tells me
the family are all waiting for me. That, my place is with them as one of the family.
Ive since blocked his brother. It’s too much like emotional blackmail.
Too many lies, too much disrespect on his part. I’d be deluded if I told my self that he was with me
for any other reason than for money & visa. It still hurts though. I’ve now just got to keep moving forward
and not looking back . As hard as it is. X
Hi I'm not a believer it is hard yes and he will try contact you more and all you can do is stay strong and keep blocking theses texts from him or family or anyone connected to him. That is the difficult part of leaving them. My rat was online to and he tried contact me many times ( last conversation to him was in February) . I am happy to say it is more then 2 weeks I have had any messages. You can do it just keep busy and never ever forget how you felled after you found out all his lies and deceit. Don't be ashamed when you do give in I did that to as many of us I think. It's normal because they where a daily part of your life but then reality hits us and we know it is better they stay blocked. You are doing great I hope you feel better soon it just takes time to heal. Sending you hugs xxxx
 

MH007

Administrator
Staff member
Hi I'm not a believer it is hard yes and he will try contact you more and all you can do is stay strong and keep blocking theses texts from him or family or anyone connected to him. That is the difficult part of leaving them. My rat was online to and he tried contact me many times ( last conversation to him was in February) . I am happy to say it is more then 2 weeks I have had any messages. You can do it just keep busy and never ever forget how you felled after you found out all his lies and deceit. Don't be ashamed when you do give in I did that to as many of us I think. It's normal because they where a daily part of your life but then reality hits us and we know it is better they stay blocked. You are doing great I hope you feel better soon it just takes time to heal. Sending you hugs xxxx
Oooh @Butterflies you've now got a 'don't mess with me' avatar :thumbsup:

MH x
 

Storm

Major Ratslayer
Hello MH & Lass.
Thank you for your kind words.
I won’t lie. It’s been and, still is a difficult time.
The rat has contacted me by phoning my mobile direct. Asking me to unblock him.
So far I haven’t succumbed . When you’ve spoken to someone almost every day for
over 2 years then suddenly , nothing. It’s difficult . I’ve even had his brother messaging
me. Telling me , how much I’m missed and to please not give up his brother . He tells me
the family are all waiting for me. That, my place is with them as one of the family.
Ive since blocked his brother. It’s too much like emotional blackmail.
Too many lies, too much disrespect on his part. I’d be deluded if I told my self that he was with me
for any other reason than for money & visa. It still hurts though. I’ve now just got to keep moving forward
and not looking back . As hard as it is. X
I understand how you feel. It does hurt.
It's so unfair how they mess us up.
When I blocked rat it was almost like he made it his life's work to find me and get me back, he still does. Blocked him everywhere, didn't get the family and friends trying to reach me or anything like you did but did get several phone calls. It was from a different number but I recognized the +216 area code so who else was it gonna be. Then he found me again recently so it's a little bit of a set back at times. As if it's not already hard enough with what they did to us, they can't just leave us alone when we want nothing to do with them.

It is hard but I push through and so will you. From what I am seeing you are already on your way so keep doing what you are doing.
 

I'm not a believer

Major Ratslayer
@I'm not a believer

How are you doing now, you still getting hassle?

Keep in touch.

Hugs

MH x
Well,..... I’m going to hear all the resounding “Noooooo’s “ echoing across the land as i own up and say,
ive succomed. I know,I know. I’m weak and , even I want to kick myself real hard for being so weak.
I’m sorry for letting everyone down. The support and advise you all took time to give me makes me feel like
a traitor. Yes, I know I should know better that , a leopard never changes its spots but, somehow he’s managed to
convince me again just how much he loves me. ( I’m hearing the heavy groans from you all)
He contacted via the WhatsApp . Telling me that he’s applying for a visa to come here, whether I respond to him or
not. Albeit for 2 weeks in October . He will get the visa as he has a government job. He knows my address here in the Uk so
I didn’t fancy coming home from work one day and discovering him sitting on my doorstep. He says he wants to see me face
to face, to tell me that he’s never betrayed or lied to me. That when I see in his eyes that everything he has told me is the truth
that I will believe him and will marry him.
In all honesty I don’t really know how I’m feeling at the moment, I’m still taking everything with a pinch of salt. I give everyone
on this forum my word that I will never part with any more of my money. This week he started a second job , call center job.
9am-5pm Mon -Fri. He’s working every other night in the hospital 7pm - 7am the following morning. Saying this he generally
can take a rest at the hospital between midnight till 6am. It depends on how settled the patients are etc and that there is no
disturbances? I should imagine he will be too knackered to get up to doing no good with whatever time he has off???
He keeps apologising to me for hurting and upsetting me, swearing to Allah and all that. Yep, heard it all before , he says
It with such passion and sounds so genuine. I am being very cautious tho. As I’ve said before i can be stupid at times but not
to the extent that I am delusional or besotted and hang on to his every word. The trust was broken and I don’t think we can ever get it back but , I’m prepared to see him on MY own terms, own territory and , to see what happens.
I give my word that I will tread very carefully. Thanks for being there for me. Love to all. Promise to update as and when.
 

MH007

Administrator
Staff member
Well,..... I’m going to hear all the resounding “Noooooo’s “ echoing across the land as i own up and say,
ive succomed. I know,I know. I’m weak and , even I want to kick myself real hard for being so weak.
I’m sorry for letting everyone down. The support and advise you all took time to give me makes me feel like
a traitor. Yes, I know I should know better that , a leopard never changes its spots but, somehow he’s managed to
convince me again just how much he loves me. ( I’m hearing the heavy groans from you all)
He contacted via the WhatsApp . Telling me that he’s applying for a visa to come here, whether I respond to him or
not. Albeit for 2 weeks in October . He will get the visa as he has a government job. He knows my address here in the Uk so
I didn’t fancy coming home from work one day and discovering him sitting on my doorstep. He says he wants to see me face
to face, to tell me that he’s never betrayed or lied to me. That when I see in his eyes that everything he has told me is the truth
that I will believe him and will marry him.
In all honesty I don’t really know how I’m feeling at the moment, I’m still taking everything with a pinch of salt. I give everyone
on this forum my word that I will never part with any more of my money. This week he started a second job , call center job.
9am-5pm Mon -Fri. He’s working every other night in the hospital 7pm - 7am the following morning. Saying this he generally
can take a rest at the hospital between midnight till 6am. It depends on how settled the patients are etc and that there is no
disturbances? I should imagine he will be too knackered to get up to doing no good with whatever time he has off???
He keeps apologising to me for hurting and upsetting me, swearing to Allah and all that. Yep, heard it all before , he says
It with such passion and sounds so genuine. I am being very cautious tho. As I’ve said before i can be stupid at times but not
to the extent that I am delusional or besotted and hang on to his every word. The trust was broken and I don’t think we can ever get it back but , I’m prepared to see him on MY own terms, own territory and , to see what happens.
I give my word that I will tread very carefully. Thanks for being there for me. Love to all. Promise to update as and when.
Thank you for updating us all.

Firstly you are not weak and certainly not a traitor - yes we probably groaned a little but only because we care but we also respect what you are doing, heck most of us on here have gone back more than once even though all the flags are there so don't beat yourself up.

Whatever you do please don't mention bezness because if he realises you know about it he will change tack.

Eyes open, purse closed and if he is staying with you let him help out with food - if you go out don't always pay.

A government job, which one is that one?

MH x
 

SouthernGirl

Major Ratslayer
Well,..... I’m going to hear all the resounding “Noooooo’s “ echoing across the land as i own up and say,
ive succomed. I know,I know. I’m weak and , even I want to kick myself real hard for being so weak.
I’m sorry for letting everyone down. The support and advise you all took time to give me makes me feel like
a traitor. Yes, I know I should know better that , a leopard never changes its spots but, somehow he’s managed to
convince me again just how much he loves me. ( I’m hearing the heavy groans from you all)
He contacted via the WhatsApp . Telling me that he’s applying for a visa to come here, whether I respond to him or
not. Albeit for 2 weeks in October . He will get the visa as he has a government job. He knows my address here in the Uk so
I didn’t fancy coming home from work one day and discovering him sitting on my doorstep. He says he wants to see me face
to face, to tell me that he’s never betrayed or lied to me. That when I see in his eyes that everything he has told me is the truth
that I will believe him and will marry him.
In all honesty I don’t really know how I’m feeling at the moment, I’m still taking everything with a pinch of salt. I give everyone
on this forum my word that I will never part with any more of my money. This week he started a second job , call center job.
9am-5pm Mon -Fri. He’s working every other night in the hospital 7pm - 7am the following morning. Saying this he generally
can take a rest at the hospital between midnight till 6am. It depends on how settled the patients are etc and that there is no
disturbances? I should imagine he will be too knackered to get up to doing no good with whatever time he has off???
He keeps apologising to me for hurting and upsetting me, swearing to Allah and all that. Yep, heard it all before , he says
It with such passion and sounds so genuine. I am being very cautious tho. As I’ve said before i can be stupid at times but not
to the extent that I am delusional or besotted and hang on to his every word. The trust was broken and I don’t think we can ever get it back but , I’m prepared to see him on MY own terms, own territory and , to see what happens.
I give my word that I will tread very carefully. Thanks for being there for me. Love to all. Promise to update as and when.
Thank you for the update. My only thought is why do you do that to yourself?
 

Storm

Major Ratslayer
Well,..... I’m going to hear all the resounding “Noooooo’s “ echoing across the land as i own up and say,
ive succomed. I know,I know. I’m weak and , even I want to kick myself real hard for being so weak.
I’m sorry for letting everyone down. The support and advise you all took time to give me makes me feel like
a traitor. Yes, I know I should know better that , a leopard never changes its spots but, somehow he’s managed to
convince me again just how much he loves me. ( I’m hearing the heavy groans from you all)
He contacted via the WhatsApp . Telling me that he’s applying for a visa to come here, whether I respond to him or
not. Albeit for 2 weeks in October . He will get the visa as he has a government job. He knows my address here in the Uk so
I didn’t fancy coming home from work one day and discovering him sitting on my doorstep. He says he wants to see me face
to face, to tell me that he’s never betrayed or lied to me. That when I see in his eyes that everything he has told me is the truth
that I will believe him and will marry him.
In all honesty I don’t really know how I’m feeling at the moment, I’m still taking everything with a pinch of salt. I give everyone
on this forum my word that I will never part with any more of my money. This week he started a second job , call center job.
9am-5pm Mon -Fri. He’s working every other night in the hospital 7pm - 7am the following morning. Saying this he generally
can take a rest at the hospital between midnight till 6am. It depends on how settled the patients are etc and that there is no
disturbances? I should imagine he will be too knackered to get up to doing no good with whatever time he has off???
He keeps apologising to me for hurting and upsetting me, swearing to Allah and all that. Yep, heard it all before , he says
It with such passion and sounds so genuine. I am being very cautious tho. As I’ve said before i can be stupid at times but not
to the extent that I am delusional or besotted and hang on to his every word. The trust was broken and I don’t think we can ever get it back but , I’m prepared to see him on MY own terms, own territory and , to see what happens.
I give my word that I will tread very carefully. Thanks for being there for me. Love to all. Promise to update as and when.
Been there. Well you now have the tools to arm yourself. Don't forget what you know
Eyes wide open
 
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