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Bassem Bettaibi and all the updates on his ratty behavior- steer clear!

Butterflies

Major Ratslayer
Well,..... I’m going to hear all the resounding “Noooooo’s “ echoing across the land as i own up and say,
ive succomed. I know,I know. I’m weak and , even I want to kick myself real hard for being so weak.
I’m sorry for letting everyone down. The support and advise you all took time to give me makes me feel like
a traitor. Yes, I know I should know better that , a leopard never changes its spots but, somehow he’s managed to
convince me again just how much he loves me. ( I’m hearing the heavy groans from you all)
He contacted via the WhatsApp . Telling me that he’s applying for a visa to come here, whether I respond to him or
not. Albeit for 2 weeks in October . He will get the visa as he has a government job. He knows my address here in the Uk so
I didn’t fancy coming home from work one day and discovering him sitting on my doorstep. He says he wants to see me face
to face, to tell me that he’s never betrayed or lied to me. That when I see in his eyes that everything he has told me is the truth
that I will believe him and will marry him.
In all honesty I don’t really know how I’m feeling at the moment, I’m still taking everything with a pinch of salt. I give everyone
on this forum my word that I will never part with any more of my money. This week he started a second job , call center job.
9am-5pm Mon -Fri. He’s working every other night in the hospital 7pm - 7am the following morning. Saying this he generally
can take a rest at the hospital between midnight till 6am. It depends on how settled the patients are etc and that there is no
disturbances? I should imagine he will be too knackered to get up to doing no good with whatever time he has off???
He keeps apologising to me for hurting and upsetting me, swearing to Allah and all that. Yep, heard it all before , he says
It with such passion and sounds so genuine. I am being very cautious tho. As I’ve said before i can be stupid at times but not
to the extent that I am delusional or besotted and hang on to his every word. The trust was broken and I don’t think we can ever get it back but , I’m prepared to see him on MY own terms, own territory and , to see what happens.
I give my word that I will tread very carefully. Thanks for being there for me. Love to all. Promise to update as and when.
Hi I m not a believer happy to hear from you. Why would you feel like you are a traitor? Don't plse. I understand completely why you are reeled in by him as you know they are very convincing. You want to see him and maybe you will but don't forget he lied to you on a few occasions. Your money and his TV that got stolen and maybe some other lies I can't remember no more I am sorry. Be careful when you meet him because you can't see in nobody's eyes if he is lying or not. I hope for you he is genuine to you now and he regrets what he did before. Wishing you luck and best wishes xxxxx
 

JGG

Major Ratslayer
Sometimes I guess we all have to complete the entire journey before we can take steps towards peace and happiness in our lives. I really have a strong sense of foreboding here but I think you need to see the whole picture for what it is before you can make your final decision....I get that and can only wish you well on your journey....travel safe and travel well ♡
 

Lass

Major Ratslayer
Thank you for being honest with us @I'm not a believer it's your life, you journey and your decisions and we are not here to judge you. I will be looking forward to find out if he really does apply for a visa and saves up for everything by himself. As far as I know it's not that easy to get a UK visitor visa and you need to have some substantial savings in your Tunisian account. I hope you don't mind me saying but from what I remember he is struggling with money, juggling between two jobs, he got robbed while sleeping, rents a flat and struggles to pay the rent on time so if he is serious about you he really needs to get his act together. Sending loads of hugs, please stay in touch xx
 

Sabrina

Major Ratslayer
So, on Sunday I received a message from my " fiancée " " Hon, i need your help. I don't have any money" My thoughts were, oh here we go again? I return the message. " What do you need money for?" He replies . " I need clothes" Suffies to say , I said no. He accepted my response and apologised for asking. My fiancée has 2 jobs. Call centre 9-2.30 pm daily. Every other day 7pm- 7am works in the hospital .
I didn't ask him why he was asking me for money AGAIN! when he was doing 2 jobs. I decided to just refuse to send him any money. End of conversation. This morning he messaged to say that he had arrived to the call centre for work, that there was a strike. That the call centre
has refused to give everyone their monthly salary. This is the 3rd time this has happened. This is the 3rd call centre he has worked in since I have known him. He has only been at this particular call centre 1 month. This was his first salary with them. Now I'm starting to think.
Why did he ask me for money again, knowing it would annoy me. Did he really get a second job? Has he been lying. He definitely works at the hospital. It is a government job but the call centre ???? He's supposed to be working 2 jobs to be saving for the wedding. If anyone read my previous post about the so called theft of 3k which he had saved and kept his sock drawer because he didn't trust the bank will know that this supposedly theft took place whilst he was sleeping. I didn't believe him then. I don't believe him now!!
Do not believe him!! And he probably never had second job. Call center?? Stay strong
 

Bubbly

Major Ratslayer
Thank you for being honest with us @I'm not a believer it's your life, you journey and your decisions and we are not here to judge you. I will be looking forward to find out if he really does apply for a visa and saves up for everything by himself. As far as I know it's not that easy to get a UK visitor visa and you need to have some substantial savings in your Tunisian account. I hope you don't mind me saying but from what I remember he is struggling with money, juggling between two jobs, he got robbed while sleeping, rents a flat and struggles to pay the rent on time so if he is serious about you he really needs to get his act together. Sending loads of hugs, please stay in touch xx

Possibly, he borrowed some money from family and friends or took a loan from a bank he will never refund as once he is in the UK, he will be there to stay. That is a strategy from rats.
Or maybe he stole his own money to fund his trip lol...
 

Tinker-lulu

Major Ratslayer
Well,..... I’m going to hear all the resounding “Noooooo’s “ echoing across the land as i own up and say,
ive succomed. I know,I know. I’m weak and , even I want to kick myself real hard for being so weak.
I’m sorry for letting everyone down.
So, on Sunday I received a message from my " fiancée " " Hon, i need your help. I don't have any money" My thoughts were, oh here we go again? I return the message. " What do you need money for?" He replies . " I need clothes" Suffies to say , I said no. He accepted my response and apologised for asking. My fiancée has 2 jobs. Call centre 9-2.30 pm daily. Every other day 7pm- 7am works in the hospital .
I didn't ask him why he was asking me for money AGAIN! when he was doing 2 jobs. I decided to just refuse to send him any money. End of conversation. This morning he messaged to say that he had arrived to the call centre for work, that there was a strike. That the call centre
has refused to give everyone their monthly salary. This is the 3rd time this has happened. This is the 3rd call centre he has worked in since I have known him. He has only been at this particular call centre 1 month. This was his first salary with them. Now I'm starting to think.
Why did he ask me for money again, knowing it would annoy me. Did he really get a second job? Has he been lying. He definitely works at the hospital. It is a government job but the call centre ???? He's supposed to be working 2 jobs to be saving for the wedding. If anyone read my previous post about the so called theft of 3k which he had saved and kept his sock drawer because he didn't trust the bank will know that this supposedly theft took place whilst he was sleeping. I didn't believe him then. I don't believe him now!!
So he is willing to pay for his visa? He works for the government? Is he a policeman? He works in a call centre? And also the hospital?.. wow he’s a busy man lol!!!! He needs your address to use as a referral to the country he’s applying his visa to! When he finally gets to you then you have to support him as well, he’s telling how hard he’s working (my heart bleeds lol)... you’re not a traitor to us, you’re a traitor to yourself bcz you know who this guy is and yet your heart still attached to him!! Think with your head and be logical, the heart can be treacherous!! I hope you’ll be ok xx
 

Bubbly

Major Ratslayer
Do yourself a favour. Just have protected sex with him and dump him along with the used condom.

Jokes apart I’d be curious to see what he actually plans to do when he is in the UK. He could also be visiting other women there. Do investigate him.

I know of Tunisian civil servants coming to Europe to visit their families there once every two years. It is true they can get a visa rather easily. One tried to ask for another visa to allow him to stay based on the fact his uncles and aunts were in the country and he lived there as a child, he got denied and sent an eviction letter. Now he cannot even come back as a tourist. Very smart:rolleyes:
 

Lass

Major Ratslayer
Do yourself a favour. Just have protected sex with him and dump him along with the used condom.

Jokes apart I’d be curious to see what he actually plans to do when he is in the UK. He could also be visiting other women there. Do investigate him.

I know of Tunisian civil servants coming to Europe to visit their families there once every two years. It is true they can get a visa rather easily. One tried to ask for another visa to allow him to stay based on the fact his uncles and aunts were in the country and he lived there as a child, he got denied and sent an eviction letter. Now he cannot even come back as a tourist. Very smart:rolleyes:
Agreed @Bubbly civil servants yes but this guy apparently works as a nurse in a mental health hospital. It's a government job but he doesn't work for central government but for public sector so I'm not so sure if it will be such a breeze to get a visa. I may be wrong though.
 

Bubbly

Major Ratslayer
Agreed @Bubbly civil servants yes but this guy apparently works as a nurse in a mental health hospital. It's a government job but he doesn't work for central government but for public sector so I'm not so sure if it will be such a breeze to get a visa. I may be wrong though.
That’s why I am saying she needs to really investigate how he reached her and with whose money. I know they can fake documents easily there. Maybe he showed some kind of licence he isn’t supposed to have or he got married to another woman, hell knows what he is up to.
One day he is broke for a pair of Adidas, the other day he is willing to travel across the Europe to beg for forgiveness. Pretty weird /and desperate for something.
 
Oh I agree visa isn't easy at all to obtain and a UK visa is so much harder than an eu visa
We have our own criteria and laws
Not only does he need strong ties to his own country he will also need to show he can support himself throughout his stay
98% of visit visas are rejected solely on the basis of his ties to his country .
 

I'm not a believer

Major Ratslayer
Thank you for being honest with us @I'm not a believer it's your life, you journey and your decisions and we are not here to judge you. I will be looking forward to find out if he really does apply for a visa and saves up for everything by himself. As far as I know it's not that easy to get a UK visitor visa and you need to have some substantial savings in your Tunisian account. I hope you don't mind me saying but from what I remember he is struggling with money, juggling between two jobs, he got robbed while sleeping, rents a flat and struggles to pay the rent on time so if he is serious about you he really needs to get his act together. Sending loads of hugs, please stay in touch xx
Well, you have just told me something I didn’t know? He needs money in his bank account to come here. As I said previously, he has started a second full time job, he says to save. He wants to come here at the end of October. I’d prefer it if he comes in January . Only because I don’t want my Christmas ruined if his stay goes wrong. Plus, by coming in January he will have saved much more? At this moment in time , I’m taking everything with a pinch of salt. Yes, we’ve heard all these broken promises before.
After previous disappointments I’m taking everything in my stride and not getting my hopes up. If anything , I’ve become more blasé about everything he says and won’t believe anything he says until he’s actually here. Believe me ,he will get such a grilling.
Eye contact and body language can reveal a lot about a person and just how sincere they really are. I’m no longer looking through rose coloured glasses as , may be I was before. Whilst he seems to have an answer for everything over the phone and via video messaging , I really want to see what he has to say face to face. Be sure of one thing tho. I won’t be holding my breath. A leopard never changes its spots. I’m prepared to hear the inevitable. More lies. It will just clarify everything that deep down I already know.
There is no long term future for us. I just want him to spend his own money now because ,he won’t be getting any of mine.
Let’s see how serious he really is about coming here.
 

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I'm not a believer

Major Ratslayer
Do yourself a favour. Just have protected sex with him and dump him along with the used condom.

Jokes apart I’d be curious to see what he actually plans to do when he is in the UK. He could also be visiting other women there. Do investigate him.

I know of Tunisian civil servants coming to Europe to visit their families there once every two years. It is true they can get a visa rather easily. One tried to ask for another visa to allow him to stay based on the fact his uncles and aunts were in the country and he lived there as a child, he got denied and sent an eviction letter. Now he cannot even come back as a tourist. Very smart:rolleyes:
No, he’s only coming for a 2 week holiday. His job is as a psychiatric nurse in a very tough hospital in Manouba. He tells me he has worked there for over 7 years. He works from 7pm - 7 am every other day. During his shift he gets about 5 hours sleep but at all
times he is on duty . “He “ refers to it to a government job? Yes, I will have to confirm his stay with the relèvent authorities in Tunis but I can assure you. He won’t be staying permanently. He’s taken a second full- time job which is in the day time 9-5pm
to save money for his ticket and visa. Trust me, I wont be paying for a thing !!
I promise to everyone on this forum I will be honest and open about this on going saga and will tell everything good or bad.
So far all I’ve written about is the bad. I know I’m clutching at straws but im really hoping soon, I can say something good.
All I know is after everything that has happened in the past year or so . I’m ready and , more prepared for any further disappointments?! I know now that I am fast approaching the end of this saga.
As for the sex thing. Noooo.... he’d have to have tests first and present me with a medical certificate . From this country!!! X
 
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MH007

Administrator
Staff member
No, he’s only coming for a 2 week holiday. His job is as a psychiatric nurse in a very tough hospital in Manouba. He tells me he has worked there for over 7 years. He works from 7pm - 7 am every other day. During his shift he gets about 5 hours sleep but at all
times he is on duty . “He “ refers to it to a government job? Yes, I will have to confirm his stay with the relèvent authorities in Tunis but I can assure you. He won’t be staying permanently. He’s taken a second full- time job which is in the day time 9-5pm
to save money for his ticket and visa. Trust me, I wont be paying for a thing !!
I promise to everyone on this forum I will be honest and open about this on going saga and will tell everything good or bad.
So far all I’ve written about is the bad. I know I’m clutching at straws but im really hoping soon, I can say something good.
All I know is after everything that has happened in the past year or so . I’m ready and , more prepared for any further disappointments?! I know now that I am fast approaching the end of this saga.
As for the sex thing. Noooo.... he’d have to have tests first and present me with a medical certificate . From this country!!! X
Bless you and thank you for being so honest, I hope it helps you too.

I am unaware that being a nurse is a government job but maybe I am wrong - it is correct that he has to have money in his account to fund his stay and also a letter from his employer stating that he is still employed and will continue to be so on his return.

I just want you to be happy and not destroyed by this man - lots just doesn't add up.

A very worried hen.

MH x
 

SouthernGirl

Major Ratslayer
I am not believer, I’m sorry that after all you went through with him, his blatant lies and his many money requests, you still think oh maybe maybe he’s good and he loves me and I’ll be able to see it when I meet him in real life. You believe that eye contact and body language can say a lot. That’s underestimating their ability at acting. Eye contact doesn’t mean a thing. They will tell a lie in a hot minute with a straight face. Body language? If you haven’t seen anything on webcam, you won’t see it in reality. Players are good actors.
Also, you know that if he wants to go to your country, It is not to stay for 2 weeks. It has been his long time goal to get out of his country. If he’d finally succeed, he wouldn’t go back home, unless deported.
I suspect that before you know it, he’ll ask to “help him fund his trip”. He’ll have another sobbing story : his boss didn’t pay him, he got in an accident and has medical bills, his car broke etc
God forbids he’d get there, he’d break your heart and bleed you dry. I hope you’ll open your eyes and protect yourself. He’s not worth it and keeping him in your life is a dangerous game.
 
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I'm not a believer

Major Ratslayer
I am not believer, I’m sorry that after all you went through with him, his blatant lies and his many money requests, you still think oh maybe maybe he’s good and he loves me and I’ll be able to see it when I meet him in real life. You believe that eye contact and body language can say a lot. That’s underestimating their ability at acting. Eye contact doesn’t mean a thing. They will tell a lie in a hot minute with a straight face. Body language? If you haven’t seen anything on webcam, you won’t see it in reality. Players are good actors.
Also, you know that if he wants to go to your country, It is not to stay for 2 weeks. It has been his long time goal to get out of his country. If he’d finally succeed, he wouldn’t go back home, unless deported.
I suspect that before you know it, he’ll ask to “help him fund his trip”. He’ll have another sobbing story : his boss didn’t pay him, he got in an accident and has medical bills, his car broke etc
God forbids he’d get there, he’d break your heart and bleed you dry. I hope you’ll open your eyes and protect yourself. He’s not worth it and keeping him in your life is a dangerous game.
Yep, i too am expecting excuses and sob stories. As stupid as it seems I’m giving him the benefit of doubt. Even tho he doesn’t deserve it. Let me just say this. Nothing will come as a surprise or shock anymore. I seem to have become immune to his antics.
The only shock I will get is, if he’s going to tell the truth in the future? I’m preparing for the obvious!!!
 

Storm

Major Ratslayer
Yep, i too am expecting excuses and sob stories. As stupid as it seems I’m giving him the benefit of doubt. Even tho he doesn’t deserve it. Let me just say this. Nothing will come as a surprise or shock anymore. I seem to have become immune to his antics.
The only shock I will get is, if he’s going to tell the truth in the future? I’m preparing for the obvious!!!

I'm not sure it's something that you can prepare for no matter how much you know about it or what's to come. It won't matter. It hits you like a tonne of bricks and takes your breath away. Recovery is difficult. Every story on here speaks volumes.
I know it's your life, I've been where you've been, most of us have been there. Just know that no amount of preparation can save you from what you may be facing but I guess you gotta do what you gotta do. Please take very good care.
 
He needs more than money and a letter from his employer
He also needs to show really strong ties to his country .
That could be owning his own home / car /
Land etc
The more ties he has the less chance of refusal but
Nearly all visas are rejected
His profession is matter less .
He will also need health insurance
Plus proof of flights
And either a hotel booking
Or a signed letter by yourself to state that he is staying with you
 

I'm not a believer

Major Ratslayer
He needs more than money and a letter from his employer
He also needs to show really strong ties to his country .
That could be owning his own home / car /
Land etc
The more ties he has the less chance of refusal but
Nearly all visas are rejected
His profession is matter less .
He will also need health insurance
Plus proof of flights
And either a hotel booking
Or a signed letter by yourself to state that he is staying with you
Thanks for the info. He mentioned that I would have to confirm that he was staying with me for the duration of his stay.
Whilst I don’t mind doing that . I don’t particularly want to give info of my finances tho as , I don’t want home to know?
 

I'm not a believer

Major Ratslayer
I'm not sure it's something that you can prepare for no matter how much you know about it or what's to come. It won't matter. It hits you like a tonne of bricks and takes your breath away. Recovery is difficult. Every story on here speaks volumes.
I know it's your life, I've been where you've been, most of us have been there. Just know that no amount of preparation can save you from what you may be facing but I guess you gotta do what you gotta do. Please take very good care.
Thanks for your response. If anything I’ve become hardened . I’m no longer the softie , falling for his sob stories as I did before.
If anything happens to prevent his visit. I won’t be shedding any tears. X
 
Thanks for the info. He mentioned that I would have to confirm that he was staying with me for the duration of his stay.
Whilst I don’t mind doing that . I don’t particularly want to give info of my finances tho as , I don’t want home to know?


Your finances won't come into it
A visit visa is all about him
Not you
He will have to show bank statements and proof of where all monies have come from
So no need to worry about your finances
 

Tigerpants

Major Ratslayer
Thanks for the info. He mentioned that I would have to confirm that he was staying with me for the duration of his stay.
Whilst I don’t mind doing that . I don’t particularly want to give info of my finances tho as , I don’t want home to know?
I understand that you don't want to lay your financial situation out bare, I wouldn't want to and wouldn't do it, far too much information!
 

Sabrina

Major Ratslayer
He needs more than money and a letter from his employer
He also needs to show really strong ties to his country .
That could be owning his own home / car /
Land etc
The more ties he has the less chance of refusal but
Nearly all visas are rejected
His profession is matter less .
He will also need health insurance
Plus proof of flights
And either a hotel booking
Or a signed letter by yourself to state that he is staying with you
Mine from there I did all the work for a fiancé visa the US immigration here in the US approved him but Tunisia sent the application back I don’t know why but I got the final no visa a few months later ! Still not sure why Tunisia said NO so good luck
 
Mine from there I did all the work for a fiancé visa the US immigration here in the US approved him but Tunisia sent the application back I don’t know why but I got the final no visa a few months later ! Still not sure why Tunisia said NO so good luck


How strange.
What was his profession ?our process does not involve the Tunisian embassy at all
 
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