Bizarre behaviours...

magic

Well-Known Member
Joined
Mar 11, 2015
Messages
2,317
Well, she gets a real deal in all of this, doesn't she? He'll be ripe and ready to bring home all the junk he picked up from prostitution, lies, and a really terrible lifestyle. The whole thing is a nightmare novel.
And a few stds ,maybe aids ,who knows,,,
 

Galleta

Well-Known Member
Joined
Dec 4, 2017
Messages
149
Thinking about your comments last night and I’m sure there’s a lot of truth in what you’re saying BUT:

The thing people here mention about phones being passed around and everyone laughing at the “ fat stupid old women “... well first I’m none of these things ( apart from old) .. neither am I ugly ...and while I’m sure many men DO do that, it doesn’t mean they ALL do and I have no evidence of this .


I’m not stupid... on the penpal site where I met him I saw ( and talked ) to many many scammers ...incidentally the majority from Morocco and Algeria ( some Tunisians).. I talked to some out of sheer curiosity to see how their scamming works (and because I’m interested in Human psychology ) and saw their Facebook accounts .. and got pretty good at seeing how they function .. and their stupid “ sweetie, honey “ words and fake profiles etc.

But after 5 years of talking to someone on an almost daily basis ... in which HE ( not just me) has opened up about a lot of private stuff .. do you think I wouldn’t notice if scabby stupid scammers would be using his account?
We talk in 2 languages - in which we’re both fluent - he’s a reserved person and doesn’t hang around with the hordes of friends I’ve seen in the photos of some of the stupid ones - YES he wants to come to Europe and yes he asked for money once ( which he has not mentioned again ) ...

Does that necessarily make him into some type of monster who’s laughing and humiliating me with friends ? Are you saying ALL Tunisians with European friends act in the same way? I know you’ll all think me deluded, but I can’t for a moment imagine he’s that type of person .. for a start , he could have easily lied to me from the beginning and said I want to marry you and bla bla ....

What I’m trying to say is .. I struggled all night with what people wrote here .. got paranoid .. nearly confronted him about this .. and still think that , while I respect people here have had terrible experiences from abusers, I don’t think all of them are so evil
 

Galleta

Well-Known Member
Joined
Dec 4, 2017
Messages
149
Galleta, don't you think it's strange that you're on TLR arguing with us about this man you feel is not a rat? I mean, there must be a reason you're here, right?
Yes.. I’ve come here out of curiosity .. to see peoples experiences and get advice . Again I’m not saying he’s perfect but this level of evilness people talk about Is something I can’t believe
 

AmberHeart

Lady Amberheart of Gafsa
Joined
Jul 13, 2018
Messages
4,593
If you think this is how you deserve to be treated, silent treatment episodes are normal and mood swings are nothing to worry about, it’s ok to ask for money anyways it was only once and anyways it will never be a real life experience since you already have a husband. Then enjoy it, he isn’t a minor that’s for sure and no one is obligating him nor you. It’s your choice.
 

magic

Well-Known Member
Joined
Mar 11, 2015
Messages
2,317
Thinking about your comments last night and I’m sure there’s a lot of truth in what you’re saying BUT:

The thing people here mention about phones being passed around and everyone laughing at the “ fat stupid old women “... well first I’m none of these things ( apart from old) .. neither am I ugly ...and while I’m sure many men DO do that, it doesn’t mean they ALL do and I have no evidence of this .


I’m not stupid... on the penpal site where I met him I saw ( and talked ) to many many scammers ...incidentally the majority from Morocco and Algeria ( some Tunisians).. I talked to some out of sheer curiosity to see how their scamming works (and because I’m interested in Human psychology ) and saw their Facebook accounts .. and got pretty good at seeing how they function .. and their stupid “ sweetie, honey “ words and fake profiles etc.

But after 5 years of talking to someone on an almost daily basis ... in which HE ( not just me) has opened up about a lot of private stuff .. do you think I wouldn’t notice if scabby stupid scammers would be using his account?
We talk in 2 languages - in which we’re both fluent - he’s a reserved person and doesn’t hang around with the hordes of friends I’ve seen in the photos of some of the stupid ones - YES he wants to come to Europe and yes he asked for money once ( which he has not mentioned again ) ...

Does that necessarily make him into some type of monster who’s laughing and humiliating me with friends ? Are you saying ALL Tunisians with European friends act in the same way? I know you’ll all think me deluded, but I can’t for a moment imagine he’s that type of person .. for a start , he could have easily lied to me from the beginning and said I want to marry you and bla bla ....

What I’m trying to say is .. I struggled all night with what people wrote here .. got paranoid .. nearly confronted him about this .. and still think that , while I respect people here have had terrible experiences from abusers, I don’t think all of them are so evil
The one thing that contradicts this is the fact he’s online fishing for victims,why would a decent Tunisian man do this ? He wouldn’t! He’d be out working,not sitting at a computer all day,talking to god knows how many women.Because if he’s talking to you, you can guarantee he’s talking to many many others too .Did you try altering his name to see if he has any other face books .or search on pipl.com
 

Laura2014

Staff Member/Administrator
Staff member
Joined
Nov 10, 2014
Messages
3,919
You should do whatever feels right for you. All we can do is share our common experiences with you. In the end you will do whatever you feel is right for you.

Something brought you here. You decribed classic Rat features, longevity, silent treatment, asking for money, you are in love with a man you can never have a relationship with in real life. Your dependence will grow deeper and something will change. You will either be hurt deeply or you may give in to his requests in order to keep him.

I’m glad to not be in that position now and to be free of the emotional leash.

If you came hoping for reassurance then that’s not going to happen because you have described what so many of us have already endured and become free from.

But I wish you luck and hope it turns out differently for you.
 

Heidi

Well-Known Member
Joined
Dec 9, 2009
Messages
14,134
Thinking about your comments last night and I’m sure there’s a lot of truth in what you’re saying BUT:

The thing people here mention about phones being passed around and everyone laughing at the “ fat stupid old women “... well first I’m none of these things ( apart from old) .. neither am I ugly ...and while I’m sure many men DO do that, it doesn’t mean they ALL do and I have no evidence of this .


I’m not stupid... on the penpal site where I met him I saw ( and talked ) to many many scammers ...incidentally the majority from Morocco and Algeria ( some Tunisians).. I talked to some out of sheer curiosity to see how their scamming works (and because I’m interested in Human psychology ) and saw their Facebook accounts .. and got pretty good at seeing how they function .. and their stupid “ sweetie, honey “ words and fake profiles etc.

But after 5 years of talking to someone on an almost daily basis ... in which HE ( not just me) has opened up about a lot of private stuff .. do you think I wouldn’t notice if scabby stupid scammers would be using his account?
We talk in 2 languages - in which we’re both fluent - he’s a reserved person and doesn’t hang around with the hordes of friends I’ve seen in the photos of some of the stupid ones - YES he wants to come to Europe and yes he asked for money once ( which he has not mentioned again ) ...

Does that necessarily make him into some type of monster who’s laughing and humiliating me with friends ? Are you saying ALL Tunisians with European friends act in the same way? I know you’ll all think me deluded, but I can’t for a moment imagine he’s that type of person .. for a start , he could have easily lied to me from the beginning and said I want to marry you and bla bla ....

What I’m trying to say is .. I struggled all night with what people wrote here .. got paranoid .. nearly confronted him about this .. and still think that , while I respect people here have had terrible experiences from abusers, I don’t think all of them are so evil
"Are you saying ALL Tunisians with European friends act in the same way?"

No, we don't and since you've been reading here for over a year, you should know that by now schmoll.gif Rats do ;)
 

Brasilgirl

Well-Known Member
Joined
Feb 28, 2018
Messages
2,623
Thinking about your comments last night and I’m sure there’s a lot of truth in what you’re saying BUT:

The thing people here mention about phones being passed around and everyone laughing at the “ fat stupid old women “... well first I’m none of these things ( apart from old) .. neither am I ugly ...and while I’m sure many men DO do that, it doesn’t mean they ALL do and I have no evidence of this .


I’m not stupid... on the penpal site where I met him I saw ( and talked ) to many many scammers ...incidentally the majority from Morocco and Algeria ( some Tunisians).. I talked to some out of sheer curiosity to see how their scamming works (and because I’m interested in Human psychology ) and saw their Facebook accounts .. and got pretty good at seeing how they function .. and their stupid “ sweetie, honey “ words and fake profiles etc.

But after 5 years of talking to someone on an almost daily basis ... in which HE ( not just me) has opened up about a lot of private stuff .. do you think I wouldn’t notice if scabby stupid scammers would be using his account?
We talk in 2 languages - in which we’re both fluent - he’s a reserved person and doesn’t hang around with the hordes of friends I’ve seen in the photos of some of the stupid ones - YES he wants to come to Europe and yes he asked for money once ( which he has not mentioned again ) ...

Does that necessarily make him into some type of monster who’s laughing and humiliating me with friends ? Are you saying ALL Tunisians with European friends act in the same way? I know you’ll all think me deluded, but I can’t for a moment imagine he’s that type of person .. for a start , he could have easily lied to me from the beginning and said I want to marry you and bla bla ....

What I’m trying to say is .. I struggled all night with what people wrote here .. got paranoid .. nearly confronted him about this .. and still think that , while I respect people here have had terrible experiences from abusers, I don’t think all of them are so evil
I am not old. I am 20 years old. I am not fat or ugly. I am pretty and slim and petite. I attend a prestigious US university. My rat passed around his phone to others, or gave others his messenger password. I don’t know if they laughed at me. Maybe they laughed at me or at how the rat was able to con me. I don’t know. But I do know he had other people message me sometimes. The words and slang would be different, the texting style would be totally different. His stories wouldn’t fit. One time he thought I was 16. He changed his birthdate. My rat would spell out every word like I do while the others would use acronyms and slang words I never heard of and had to google.
The guy you are talking to may do some of the things but not all. You said, you are not dating and are just friends (officially) so the game is likely slightly different.
Five years is not a long time for some of these guys. Some get married, get the visa, have a bunch of kids, then when they’ve saved enough money, they bail leaving the wife broke and with the kids. Or the wife leaves him because she has had enough of the abuse.
 

Epiphany

Well-Known Member
Joined
Sep 30, 2018
Messages
770
Thinking about your comments last night and I’m sure there’s a lot of truth in what you’re saying BUT:

The thing people here mention about phones being passed around and everyone laughing at the “ fat stupid old women “... well first I’m none of these things ( apart from old) .. neither am I ugly ...and while I’m sure many men DO do that, it doesn’t mean they ALL do and I have no evidence of this .


I’m not stupid... on the penpal site where I met him I saw ( and talked ) to many many scammers ...incidentally the majority from Morocco and Algeria ( some Tunisians).. I talked to some out of sheer curiosity to see how their scamming works (and because I’m interested in Human psychology ) and saw their Facebook accounts .. and got pretty good at seeing how they function .. and their stupid “ sweetie, honey “ words and fake profiles etc.

But after 5 years of talking to someone on an almost daily basis ... in which HE ( not just me) has opened up about a lot of private stuff .. do you think I wouldn’t notice if scabby stupid scammers would be using his account?
We talk in 2 languages - in which we’re both fluent - he’s a reserved person and doesn’t hang around with the hordes of friends I’ve seen in the photos of some of the stupid ones - YES he wants to come to Europe and yes he asked for money once ( which he has not mentioned again ) ...

Does that necessarily make him into some type of monster who’s laughing and humiliating me with friends ? Are you saying ALL Tunisians with European friends act in the same way? I know you’ll all think me deluded, but I can’t for a moment imagine he’s that type of person .. for a start , he could have easily lied to me from the beginning and said I want to marry you and bla bla ....

What I’m trying to say is .. I struggled all night with what people wrote here .. got paranoid .. nearly confronted him about this .. and still think that , while I respect people here have had terrible experiences from abusers, I don’t think all of them are so evil
Girl, they don't give a rats behind what you look like. You can look like the model Christie Brinkley, or rated the most beautiful woman in the world, they will still make fun of you and you still won't be the ideal woman they want unless you are a Tunisian virgin.That's the only woman they want and need. If you are attractive, sure it's a plus but it don't matter. Scroll back to my comment about how they hate us and anyone from western countries...we are infidels to them. This is why they do these things to us, we are disposable, they don't care.
It's not too late for you...heed the warnings here, it will save you a lot of pain. These are not just stories, this is real life.
 

Mango Chutney

Administrator.
Staff member
Joined
Aug 29, 2015
Messages
11,737
Thinking about your comments last night and I’m sure there’s a lot of truth in what you’re saying BUT:

The thing people here mention about phones being passed around and everyone laughing at the “ fat stupid old women “... well first I’m none of these things ( apart from old) .. neither am I ugly ...and while I’m sure many men DO do that, it doesn’t mean they ALL do and I have no evidence of this .


I’m not stupid... on the penpal site where I met him I saw ( and talked ) to many many scammers ...incidentally the majority from Morocco and Algeria ( some Tunisians).. I talked to some out of sheer curiosity to see how their scamming works (and because I’m interested in Human psychology ) and saw their Facebook accounts .. and got pretty good at seeing how they function .. and their stupid “ sweetie, honey “ words and fake profiles etc.

But after 5 years of talking to someone on an almost daily basis ... in which HE ( not just me) has opened up about a lot of private stuff .. do you think I wouldn’t notice if scabby stupid scammers would be using his account?
We talk in 2 languages - in which we’re both fluent - he’s a reserved person and doesn’t hang around with the hordes of friends I’ve seen in the photos of some of the stupid ones - YES he wants to come to Europe and yes he asked for money once ( which he has not mentioned again ) ...

Does that necessarily make him into some type of monster who’s laughing and humiliating me with friends ? Are you saying ALL Tunisians with European friends act in the same way? I know you’ll all think me deluded, but I can’t for a moment imagine he’s that type of person .. for a start , he could have easily lied to me from the beginning and said I want to marry you and bla bla ....

What I’m trying to say is .. I struggled all night with what people wrote here .. got paranoid .. nearly confronted him about this .. and still think that , while I respect people here have had terrible experiences from abusers, I don’t think all of them are so evil
Go for it then. Your life, your decision. Don't doubt our words though.....none of us has call to lie....our words are truth, but no Amiga stage will accept that their rat is not different, that they are all the same.....my rat was the perfect bloke at the beginning....I would have believed mine was different too.
I would suggest you send no money and no pics, but again....do what you wish.
I do wonder how long this will go on for though....will you go and meet him?
Good luck :thumbsup:
 

Going for the limit

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Joined
May 6, 2016
Messages
1,574
This is not normal behaviour at all.
No ifs, buts or maybes.
Not once has my hubby spoke out of turn to me, he isnt even nasty in an argument.
I can ignore him after an argument and he is the one texting me asking me if i am ok yet. Not once has he ever raised his voice to me.
Even if he had raised his voice to me he would never be nasty / vile or Derogative in anyway. It is crazy to think this is normal
 

Going for the limit

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Joined
May 6, 2016
Messages
1,574
I want to add and highlight that under no circumstances ever would a muslim man ask for money.
If he was stuck for some reason he would ask males only.
This is very important to understand because that one thing alone regardless of his or your financial status is one of the huge red flags. Even hinting to you or even talking about his lack of finances is a big no no in their culture, as my hubby tells me ' it is not your responsibility '
 

Brasilgirl

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Joined
Feb 28, 2018
Messages
2,623
I want to add and highlight that under no circumstances ever would a muslim man ask for money.
If he was stuck for some reason he would ask males only.
This is very important to understand because that one thing alone regardless of his or your financial status is one of the huge red flags. Even hinting to you or even talking about his lack of finances is a big no no in their culture, as my hubby tells me ' it is not your responsibility '
I am curious, would a Muslim man (who is not a rat) expect to take over your assests (including money) once you were married or do you get to keep that yourself?
 

Going for the limit

Well-Known Member
Joined
May 6, 2016
Messages
1,574
No my money is my own.
Before you get married you sign a declaration. 3 choices.
Money is shared , whats his is his or he has to provide for you
We did he provides for me .
But regardless of these options his role is to provide for his wife and family and any muslim man under any circumstances would not take money from a woman.
They have a duty to the wife to support her. Upon death if the woman went first and unless there was a will the money would go to the husband
 

Brasilgirl

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Joined
Feb 28, 2018
Messages
2,623
Dollars to doughnuts this man has a string of women that he is talking to and that are visiting him. Why do YOU think he disappears for days at a time?
This is true. I never believed it. How could he? We talked all the time, he was always there. We would talk 5 or 6 hours a day. Then I found out my rat had other women in tow on-line and Tunisian girls too.
 

Femme Fatale

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Joined
Mar 31, 2018
Messages
1,036
This is true. I never believed it. How could he? We talked all the time, he was always there. We would talk 5 or 6 hours a day. Then I found out my rat had other women in tow on-line and Tunisian girls too.
Especially if you're on a different time zone as them. My Canadian, USA, Brazil, Mexico, etc ladies would never know because for 7 to 8 hours while we are sleeping they could be doing whatever. Makes it easier to juggle others that way.

When I got on the same tine zone with him, it really became apparent what he was doing. But they are still good at hiding and disappearing. Common excuses, i was working, phone died, no service, i was driving, i was out for coffee, etc. Nope you were entertaining another victim.

At some point, we have to look at our worth. Im worth more than some bottom of the barrel, guttersnipe mamas boy.
 
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