concerned mom needs advice..please help

Discussion in 'Online Rats' started by concerned mom, Sep 2, 2013.

  1. carrow

    carrow Member

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    Hi Kristy. That's true a person can be whatever they wanted to be online,when i think about it it's a scary situation american women or uk women etc..fall for a tunisian man through the net. (myself included) and a lot of those women do marry the guy their first time meeting face to face with out knowing whom they are committing themselves to..my tunisian wanted us to marry our first time meeting even though we had been talking over a year online..that isn't the same as knowing a person over a year in real life! The rush to marry made me nervous!! I thought dang tunisian men move quickly! Never realizing what the rush was for,till finding this site. I cringe when i think of how close i came to being just another statistic in the game of bezness!!:(
     
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  2. carrow

    carrow Member

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    Hello tiger. The age gap did concern me at first,but after talking with my tunisian guy for a good while it slowly became less of a problem. I must say he acted very mature for his age. When i asked him about our age gap he told me it was normal to find that in tunisia or some other lines,i didn't know any different so i took him at his word sorry to say. He did offer to pay for the whole wedding himself an turned down my offer to contribute money..im not saying this makes him less ratty but that not all rats play the game by the same rules. Him giving me his password for his accounts and saying someone was trying to cause trouble for him was a HUGE warning sign to me that something wasn't right people just don't do that to prove there trustworthiness! Only people with something to hide would push so hard to prove their innocence!
     
  3. carrow

    carrow Member

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    Is there anyone on here that knows Arabic,that would be willing to translate a few lines for me if i pm it to them????
     
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  4. simple

    simple Well-Known Member

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    I think Tactfull or ahmed ,will be able to help you ..
     
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  5. simple

    simple Well-Known Member

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    The age difference is not the norm out there ,,,It only applys to tourists ,,,,They would never marry an older Tunisian woman ,not even if its a small age gap !
     
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  6. Etoyoc

    Etoyoc Well-Known Member

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    Yes, that is absolutely true. Even when then woman is only like 3 years older, the whole town will speak about them and about what is wrong with this man. And, sorry, there is almost no exception to this rule (personally, I never came across even one).
     
  7. simple

    simple Well-Known Member

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    Me to ,,ive never come across a couple where the Tunisian wife is older
     
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  8. carrow

    carrow Member

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    Thanks Simple! :)
     
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  9. wallah

    wallah Well-Known Member

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    I have a very close friend Ahlem who had the courage to divorce her abusive husband many years ago. Despite everyone knowing of the violence she had suffered year in and year out, she got called every bad name imaginable for divorcing him. To cut a long story short, a single man who she had gone to school with 25 years before contacted her and said that he had always loved her and wanted to marry her. All the family including her 2 sons totally refused to agree with this as she is 3 years older than him! I was furious and on a visit to an extended family gathering I brought up the subject of a possible marriage with Abdul and was told that it was totally impossible as he was younger than her. I pointed out that the Prophet Mohammad married Khadija who was 48 when he was in his mid 20's and they were happily married until she died many years later. That was received by a deathly and icy silence with only the little children communicating with me. I left early on that occasion and was eventually forgiven but Ahlem is still single, but secretly seeing her Adbul ! (With my encouragement I may add!)
     
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  10. crystal

    crystal The Punchy Scot

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    Also it is a way for the rat to boast to his friends how well he is doing and scamming...this gives them some kinda sick status...in effect actually laughing and gloating at how well he has fooled her!!!
     
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  11. Laurence

    Laurence Well-Known Member

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    I do know of ONE tunisian couple (both tunisian) and the wife is only few years older than her husband BUT it was broadly discussed in the village and everybody was really upset by her being older than him! He was in his late 20's and she was in early 30's I think when they got married...this was judged so NOT DONE by the whole community!
     
  12. simple

    simple Well-Known Member

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    The mentality hasnt changed since the 7th century ,,,
     
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  13. Kristy

    Kristy Well-Known Member

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    Sweet Carrow, just to save you from thinking too much and being unhappy, let me ask you: Do you want to marry someone that has a totally different culture, background after some chats online?
    Also, a relationship is complicated , all are, so imagine with a man, that has a totally different culture, where you and him need to share more and more trying to combine cultures, is that what you want for you? Also being at home cooking, cleaning, and giving him children? Ask his permission to go out? and many others things about his culture. If you really want to go on, read about culture, behaviors in Tunisia society for a man and a woman (very different from our culture), and think about what is acceptable for you or not! As soon as you realize that you would be giving much more than yourself than you probably would support or accept in your own country, you will become happier, you will see :)
     
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  14. Galadriel

    Galadriel Globe Trotter Extraordinaire

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    Kristy Carrow has realised what the game of bezness is all about thankfully...;)
     
  15. Kristy

    Kristy Well-Known Member

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    Just making sure that she won't be :( like she ended the post. But don't we know she will be thinking on it, so for that reason posted it.
     
  16. Ariel

    Ariel Under the Sea Staff Member

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    I love that she is still seeing her Abdul and I hope that they find a way to overcome the barriers - such a sad situation x
     
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  17. wallah

    wallah Well-Known Member

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    Sadly, they won't -- she is adamant that she will not go against the general feeling, as she is only just managing to be accepted after the ''shame '' of her divorce. The family must wonder why she apparently sees so much of me! If only they knew that this often 'happens' when I am not actually in the country! ;) :D
     
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  18. Ariel

    Ariel Under the Sea Staff Member

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    You are a wonderful woman Wallah, truly xxx
     
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  19. wallah

    wallah Well-Known Member

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    Not wonderful enough or I'd be arranging the wedding soon! :(
     
  20. CUDDLE

    CUDDLE Well-Known Member

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    It is very sad that this age gap thing is ingrained within the Tunisian culture...I am sure that it is possible for a younger man to truly love a woman a few yrs older than himself (well we have the proof of this with the story Wallah has told)
     
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  21. wallah

    wallah Well-Known Member

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    He adores her cuddle and would marry her in a shot if only she would agree. He is a very handsome man and she is a chubby beautiful lady who can do no wrong in his eyes :) xx
     
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  22. simple

    simple Well-Known Member

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    I love you wallah !!! Please can i keep you !!:love:
     
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  23. Ariel

    Ariel Under the Sea Staff Member

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    You have to share her with the rest of us :p
     
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  24. simple

    simple Well-Known Member

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    As long as i get for summer holidays and xmas ! I dont mind sharing !
     
  25. wallah

    wallah Well-Known Member

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    I'll have a word with my husband abiut that ;)
     
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