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Did I escape the worst?

Escaped321

Active Member
Hey everyone… First thing thank you for having this forum that helps so many women to see the truth and escape the disaster. My story is very long and finally it ended, I need to be strong because I know that my ex can come back any time even if I blocked him everywhere as this happened in the past.
i think I know all the answers, because I experienced certain behaviours and red flags that are described in this forum. I think I need a confirmation for myself just to keep going and to confirm that this break up is for good. So that I never look back.
His name is Foued B’a in Facebook if you want to look him up… I met him online in 2020, on Facebook. I was in the phones’s group on there and he found me there and added to his friends. I would never accept any stranger on my FB, especially from a Muslim country because I already had bad experiences in the past… However, his charm did all the job and I accepted.
4 days ago,,I was supposed to go to Tunisia to meet his parents and his entire family, relatives. However, everyone who I knew was against it so I made a decision not to go and flied to my birth country instead.
This person told me that he loves me when I was still married. After 2 months of only writing text messages he told me he loves me. And we did sexting with him quite soon, after those two moths of knowing him. I never saw him on video camera and he never called me. Ever. We had many disagreements from the begging and it always ended up in arguments and blocking. He blocked me on my birthday and this affected me a lot… He was playing blocking and unblocking games…
The first time when I decided to leave this relationship is because he kept me a secret and even I speeded up my divorce processs because of him.., he still kept me a secret…He was not talking to me on video calls and on a normal calls and always made an excuse that he is shy and that his English Is bad.., ( his English was perfect by the way from the day I knew him). My parents saw how much I cried for this relationship and told me that I should forget him… They told me to ask him to come and see me in my home country… but he refused. Because of this I blocked him and I lived my life without him. For few months,… I broke up with him so many times but he always came back. I was almost healed and was good. But this person reappeared in my life again asking for forgiveness and that he will make me forget bad past and his behaviour… After more than one year he started talking to me on camera and on phone…, And I was happy… he even agreed to apply for visitor visa and visit me in UK or at my birth country. He paid for our one weeks holiday in my birth country where we met. He met my parents also. He promised that I will see his parents on video call but that did not happen. He also told me that his parents should not see us together at the hotel because they will see that we live together which is forbidden. This was a disespect for me because he slept with me and my parents knew him and I never spoke with his.
He got his visitor visa to UK and he visited me one more time. Each time we meet we had sexual relations. Another time we met was again in UK during his birthday I bought him a ticket to see me… I bought him expensive gifts like mobile phone, and he never bought me anything I want or need.,, His gifts was two times only and very cheap,… He would always get angry that I mentioned this … I had to beg for him to buy me gift or flowers… in two years of relationship I never spoke with any of his family just with his female best friend. He had female friends and I did not like it.., even if I did not like it he would still keep them and communicate with them. He said … oh she is my best friends Fiance.., so you should not be worried. But they not even engaged… when I asked him to put us on his profile picture or on his time line he refused.,., he said I can’t it will creat problems for me and my mother… but he used to put pictures on his instagram with other female friends and he spoke so nicely about them under pictures.,,, what he did he put picture of us on his timeline only and only for specific people to see, ..,which I did not like. I felt hurt because he would easily put pic of his best friend with nice words under... even we was together at that time,, but never put me…
Another thing that I did not like that he would not do anything for my birthday…. He never bought me a gift for this occasion.., and he told me that my gift is delayed but it never came…and when asked him for distance bracelets …. He always say it is out of stock. Or it is delayed.., those bracelets could of improved our relationship but they would also tell wheee the other person is… so maybe that is why I never got them..
Our relationship was toxic because we would always argue and he would shout at me even if I was crying…. I was trying to explain how I feel and he would make it an argument… Recently he told me that I was such a toxic bad person but he still agreed to stay with me because he loves me… he blamed me for him being broke… he blamed me that he had to buy tickets for our one week holiday… (I asked to buy tickets) … and that he spend all his money to apply for tourist UK visa,,, he did not need visa for Europe country because he still lives in France with student visa …. He used to work as Uber driver but recently his account was blocked.,, he is in so much debt and he always complain how much debt he has….
He did not ask me for money for a long time… but …. I would pay for some things when he came to visit me.., I gave him some money because he run out of money he said,,, He also asked to pay for his tickets to Tunisia…, which he said he is ashamed and shy to ask,,, I asked how much he said 800…but I said sorry I can’t give u… he promised to return back… but I did not give…,
He said he will not marry me till he get his Eu residency which he is paying for a lawyer … he said to wait for 2-3 additional years till he becomes financially stable and proposes/marries me. This seemed to much for me,.. because these two years was a nightmare full of tears… when I tell him that he hurt me.,, he said that I hurt myself and I did this all to myself …. I would often wonder what kind of person he is….
I paid for tickets to see him in Tunisia because he went there beginning of this month…He came there to have his holiday and I was supposed to join him… but I did not go because he hurt me again by shouting and swearing at me when I was crying about our relationship,..,he told me I am bad person and there is hidden evil in me and that I should Google about my actions, that I should not be a victim. he blocked me that time …. Then later he unblocked me… I started thinking that everything is my fault … that I was bad person for him…
His words Never matched his actions,… one time he told me to have a good life after argue… I told him that I won’t have a good life because I feel like I want to die….but he just blocked me…and left me,,,
The end was that everyone asked me stay away from him…. Even my coworkers …. They told me not to go to Tunisia. He told me oh my mother said you will be her daughter… she is preparing to see you… even my father who I never spoke about any women is happy to see you… my aunty wants to buy u a gift,,, my mother gave me money to buy you gift,,.,my family loves you I told you…, His mother was fine for us to live in their house when I come. When I asked my ex why in these two years I never spoke with his parents… he told me they are shy! And then I responded how are they not shy for me to live at their house…. So I did not go to Tunisia and I told him goodbye a week ago,,, interesting thing is that each time we break up,., he puts smiley picture of himself like he is very happy about everything… I blocked him from everywhere. … I am sorry if something is not clear but it has been 2 years it is hard to put everything in few sentences... Thank you..
 

yougogirl75

Major Ratslayer
Hey everyone… First thing thank you for having this forum that helps so many women to see the truth and escape the disaster. My story is very long and finally it ended, I need to be strong because I know that my ex can come back any time even if I blocked him everywhere as this happened in the past.
i think I know all the answers, because I experienced certain behaviours and red flags that are described in this forum. I think I need a confirmation for myself just to keep going and to confirm that this break up is for good. So that I never look back.
His name is Foued B’a in Facebook if you want to look him up… I met him online in 2020, on Facebook. I was in the phones’s group on there and he found me there and added to his friends. I would never accept any stranger on my FB, especially from a Muslim country because I already had bad experiences in the past… However, his charm did all the job and I accepted.
4 days ago,,I was supposed to go to Tunisia to meet his parents and his entire family, relatives. However, everyone who I knew was against it so I made a decision not to go and flied to my birth country instead.
This person told me that he loves me when I was still married. After 2 months of only writing text messages he told me he loves me. And we did sexting with him quite soon, after those two moths of knowing him. I never saw him on video camera and he never called me. Ever. We had many disagreements from the begging and it always ended up in arguments and blocking. He blocked me on my birthday and this affected me a lot… He was playing blocking and unblocking games…
The first time when I decided to leave this relationship is because he kept me a secret and even I speeded up my divorce processs because of him.., he still kept me a secret…He was not talking to me on video calls and on a normal calls and always made an excuse that he is shy and that his English Is bad.., ( his English was perfect by the way from the day I knew him). My parents saw how much I cried for this relationship and told me that I should forget him… They told me to ask him to come and see me in my home country… but he refused. Because of this I blocked him and I lived my life without him. For few months,… I broke up with him so many times but he always came back. I was almost healed and was good. But this person reappeared in my life again asking for forgiveness and that he will make me forget bad past and his behaviour… After more than one year he started talking to me on camera and on phone…, And I was happy… he even agreed to apply for visitor visa and visit me in UK or at my birth country. He paid for our one weeks holiday in my birth country where we met. He met my parents also. He promised that I will see his parents on video call but that did not happen. He also told me that his parents should not see us together at the hotel because they will see that we live together which is forbidden. This was a disespect for me because he slept with me and my parents knew him and I never spoke with his.
He got his visitor visa to UK and he visited me one more time. Each time we meet we had sexual relations. Another time we met was again in UK during his birthday I bought him a ticket to see me… I bought him expensive gifts like mobile phone, and he never bought me anything I want or need.,, His gifts was two times only and very cheap,… He would always get angry that I mentioned this … I had to beg for him to buy me gift or flowers… in two years of relationship I never spoke with any of his family just with his female best friend. He had female friends and I did not like it.., even if I did not like it he would still keep them and communicate with them. He said … oh she is my best friends Fiance.., so you should not be worried. But they not even engaged… when I asked him to put us on his profile picture or on his time line he refused.,., he said I can’t it will creat problems for me and my mother… but he used to put pictures on his instagram with other female friends and he spoke so nicely about them under pictures.,,, what he did he put picture of us on his timeline only and only for specific people to see, ..,which I did not like. I felt hurt because he would easily put pic of his best friend with nice words under... even we was together at that time,, but never put me…
Another thing that I did not like that he would not do anything for my birthday…. He never bought me a gift for this occasion.., and he told me that my gift is delayed but it never came…and when asked him for distance bracelets …. He always say it is out of stock. Or it is delayed.., those bracelets could of improved our relationship but they would also tell wheee the other person is… so maybe that is why I never got them..
Our relationship was toxic because we would always argue and he would shout at me even if I was crying…. I was trying to explain how I feel and he would make it an argument… Recently he told me that I was such a toxic bad person but he still agreed to stay with me because he loves me… he blamed me for him being broke… he blamed me that he had to buy tickets for our one week holiday… (I asked to buy tickets) … and that he spend all his money to apply for tourist UK visa,,, he did not need visa for Europe country because he still lives in France with student visa …. He used to work as Uber driver but recently his account was blocked.,, he is in so much debt and he always complain how much debt he has….
He did not ask me for money for a long time… but …. I would pay for some things when he came to visit me.., I gave him some money because he run out of money he said,,, He also asked to pay for his tickets to Tunisia…, which he said he is ashamed and shy to ask,,, I asked how much he said 800…but I said sorry I can’t give u… he promised to return back… but I did not give…,
He said he will not marry me till he get his Eu residency which he is paying for a lawyer … he said to wait for 2-3 additional years till he becomes financially stable and proposes/marries me. This seemed to much for me,.. because these two years was a nightmare full of tears… when I tell him that he hurt me.,, he said that I hurt myself and I did this all to myself …. I would often wonder what kind of person he is….
I paid for tickets to see him in Tunisia because he went there beginning of this month…He came there to have his holiday and I was supposed to join him… but I did not go because he hurt me again by shouting and swearing at me when I was crying about our relationship,..,he told me I am bad person and there is hidden evil in me and that I should Google about my actions, that I should not be a victim. he blocked me that time …. Then later he unblocked me… I started thinking that everything is my fault … that I was bad person for him…
His words Never matched his actions,… one time he told me to have a good life after argue… I told him that I won’t have a good life because I feel like I want to die….but he just blocked me…and left me,,,
The end was that everyone asked me stay away from him…. Even my coworkers …. They told me not to go to Tunisia. He told me oh my mother said you will be her daughter… she is preparing to see you… even my father who I never spoke about any women is happy to see you… my aunty wants to buy u a gift,,, my mother gave me money to buy you gift,,.,my family loves you I told you…, His mother was fine for us to live in their house when I come. When I asked my ex why in these two years I never spoke with his parents… he told me they are shy! And then I responded how are they not shy for me to live at their house…. So I did not go to Tunisia and I told him goodbye a week ago,,, interesting thing is that each time we break up,., he puts smiley picture of himself like he is very happy about everything… I blocked him from everywhere. … I am sorry if something is not clear but it has been 2 years it is hard to put everything in few sentences... Thank you..
this is a really bad rat, my ex-rat used to block and unblock me more times than I could count for nothing sometimes just because he felt like it.
there is no consistency in a relationship with a rat, they will always blame you for their problems
It is very painful, its like these rats have no feelings, its all about what they want so you have to block him and stay away
they will try to bother your family members or friends to get at you.
Don't ever blame yourself and don't let the rat take you down!
They buy gifts with your money and they are cheap, they have debts all the time
as soon as I helped my ex-rat with money it was gone , and the way the family and the rat
talk about you behind your back its disrespectful
its not your problem to help this ungrateful rat.
There are some mental disorders these rats have, I know my ex-rat was full of rage
he had family that could help but that would require him to work and he would rather
sit at home romancing on the internet because it worked before, no pride at all but to scam and take!
Yes, a decent Tunisian man who is in a serious relationship would never have female friends, my ex-rat played with his settings on social media
so I come to find out there were messages from others and posts too, so please shut him out he will drown you in his debt
and be nothing but a freeloader!!
 
Last edited:

Yvonne

Moderator
Staff member
Hey everyone… First thing thank you for having this forum that helps so many women to see the truth and escape the disaster. My story is very long and finally it ended, I need to be strong because I know that my ex can come back any time even if I blocked him everywhere as this happened in the past.
i think I know all the answers, because I experienced certain behaviours and red flags that are described in this forum. I think I need a confirmation for myself just to keep going and to confirm that this break up is for good. So that I never look back.
His name is Foued B’a in Facebook if you want to look him up… I met him online in 2020, on Facebook. I was in the phones’s group on there and he found me there and added to his friends. I would never accept any stranger on my FB, especially from a Muslim country because I already had bad experiences in the past… However, his charm did all the job and I accepted.
4 days ago,,I was supposed to go to Tunisia to meet his parents and his entire family, relatives. However, everyone who I knew was against it so I made a decision not to go and flied to my birth country instead.
This person told me that he loves me when I was still married. After 2 months of only writing text messages he told me he loves me. And we did sexting with him quite soon, after those two moths of knowing him. I never saw him on video camera and he never called me. Ever. We had many disagreements from the begging and it always ended up in arguments and blocking. He blocked me on my birthday and this affected me a lot… He was playing blocking and unblocking games…
The first time when I decided to leave this relationship is because he kept me a secret and even I speeded up my divorce processs because of him.., he still kept me a secret…He was not talking to me on video calls and on a normal calls and always made an excuse that he is shy and that his English Is bad.., ( his English was perfect by the way from the day I knew him). My parents saw how much I cried for this relationship and told me that I should forget him… They told me to ask him to come and see me in my home country… but he refused. Because of this I blocked him and I lived my life without him. For few months,… I broke up with him so many times but he always came back. I was almost healed and was good. But this person reappeared in my life again asking for forgiveness and that he will make me forget bad past and his behaviour… After more than one year he started talking to me on camera and on phone…, And I was happy… he even agreed to apply for visitor visa and visit me in UK or at my birth country. He paid for our one weeks holiday in my birth country where we met. He met my parents also. He promised that I will see his parents on video call but that did not happen. He also told me that his parents should not see us together at the hotel because they will see that we live together which is forbidden. This was a disespect for me because he slept with me and my parents knew him and I never spoke with his.
He got his visitor visa to UK and he visited me one more time. Each time we meet we had sexual relations. Another time we met was again in UK during his birthday I bought him a ticket to see me… I bought him expensive gifts like mobile phone, and he never bought me anything I want or need.,, His gifts was two times only and very cheap,… He would always get angry that I mentioned this … I had to beg for him to buy me gift or flowers… in two years of relationship I never spoke with any of his family just with his female best friend. He had female friends and I did not like it.., even if I did not like it he would still keep them and communicate with them. He said … oh she is my best friends Fiance.., so you should not be worried. But they not even engaged… when I asked him to put us on his profile picture or on his time line he refused.,., he said I can’t it will creat problems for me and my mother… but he used to put pictures on his instagram with other female friends and he spoke so nicely about them under pictures.,,, what he did he put picture of us on his timeline only and only for specific people to see, ..,which I did not like. I felt hurt because he would easily put pic of his best friend with nice words under... even we was together at that time,, but never put me…
Another thing that I did not like that he would not do anything for my birthday…. He never bought me a gift for this occasion.., and he told me that my gift is delayed but it never came…and when asked him for distance bracelets …. He always say it is out of stock. Or it is delayed.., those bracelets could of improved our relationship but they would also tell wheee the other person is… so maybe that is why I never got them..
Our relationship was toxic because we would always argue and he would shout at me even if I was crying…. I was trying to explain how I feel and he would make it an argument… Recently he told me that I was such a toxic bad person but he still agreed to stay with me because he loves me… he blamed me for him being broke… he blamed me that he had to buy tickets for our one week holiday… (I asked to buy tickets) … and that he spend all his money to apply for tourist UK visa,,, he did not need visa for Europe country because he still lives in France with student visa …. He used to work as Uber driver but recently his account was blocked.,, he is in so much debt and he always complain how much debt he has….
He did not ask me for money for a long time… but …. I would pay for some things when he came to visit me.., I gave him some money because he run out of money he said,,, He also asked to pay for his tickets to Tunisia…, which he said he is ashamed and shy to ask,,, I asked how much he said 800…but I said sorry I can’t give u… he promised to return back… but I did not give…,
He said he will not marry me till he get his Eu residency which he is paying for a lawyer … he said to wait for 2-3 additional years till he becomes financially stable and proposes/marries me. This seemed to much for me,.. because these two years was a nightmare full of tears… when I tell him that he hurt me.,, he said that I hurt myself and I did this all to myself …. I would often wonder what kind of person he is….
I paid for tickets to see him in Tunisia because he went there beginning of this month…He came there to have his holiday and I was supposed to join him… but I did not go because he hurt me again by shouting and swearing at me when I was crying about our relationship,..,he told me I am bad person and there is hidden evil in me and that I should Google about my actions, that I should not be a victim. he blocked me that time …. Then later he unblocked me… I started thinking that everything is my fault … that I was bad person for him…
His words Never matched his actions,… one time he told me to have a good life after argue… I told him that I won’t have a good life because I feel like I want to die….but he just blocked me…and left me,,,
The end was that everyone asked me stay away from him…. Even my coworkers …. They told me not to go to Tunisia. He told me oh my mother said you will be her daughter… she is preparing to see you… even my father who I never spoke about any women is happy to see you… my aunty wants to buy u a gift,,, my mother gave me money to buy you gift,,.,my family loves you I told you…, His mother was fine for us to live in their house when I come. When I asked my ex why in these two years I never spoke with his parents… he told me they are shy! And then I responded how are they not shy for me to live at their house…. So I did not go to Tunisia and I told him goodbye a week ago,,, interesting thing is that each time we break up,., he puts smiley picture of himself like he is very happy about everything… I blocked him from everywhere. … I am sorry if something is not clear but it has been 2 years it is hard to put everything in few sentences... Thank you..
Welcome here @Escaped321. That was a hell of a ride with your tunisian. He seems to be a horrible nasty man. He most certainly is a rat, the way he acted towards you is not respectable or a loving caring man.
It's hard for you right now but you can and well get over this experience with him.
I'm sorry you are going through this now you will find support here from the other members

Here's a link for you to read :


Yvonne xxx
 

Escaped321

Active Member
Welcome here @Escaped321. That was a hell of a ride with your tunisian. He seems to be a horrible nasty man. He most certainly is a rat, the way he acted towards you is not respectable or a loving caring man.
It's hard for you right now but you can and well get over this experience with him.
I'm sorry you are going through this now you will find support here from the other members

Here's a link for you to read :


Yvonne xxx
Thanks Yvonne, I already read through this forum post…
Do you think this man was a rat?
 

Escaped321

Active Member
this is a really bad rat, my ex-rat used to block and unblock me more times than I could count for nothing sometimes just because he felt like it.
there is no consistency in a relationship with a rat, they will always blame you for their problems
It is very painful, its like these rats have no feelings, its all about what they want so you have to block him and stay away
they will try to bother your family members or friends to get at you.
Don't ever blame yourself and don't let the rat take you down!
They buy gifts with your money and they are cheap, they have debts all the time
as soon as I helped my ex-rat with money it was gone , and the way the family and the rat
talk about you behind your back its disrespectful
its not your problem to help this ungrateful rat.
There are some mental disorders these rats have, I know my ex-rat was full of rage
he had family that could help but that would require him to work and he would rather
sit at home romancing on the internet because it worked before, no pride at all but to scam and take!
Yes, a decent Tunisian man who is in a serious relationship would never have female friends, my ex-rat played with his settings on social media
so I come to find out there were messages from others and posts too, so please shut him out he will drown you in his debt
and be nothing but a freeloader!!
At first I could not believe because he came to see my parents ….but I realised I ignored so many red flags…
 

Yvonne

Moderator
Staff member
Thanks Yvonne, I already read through this forum post…
Do you think this man was a rat?
I'm convinced this man is a rat. We all ignored the red flags at the start because we are to deep in the dream of romance and these rats take advantage from it. Everything you've written about him is a big red flag actually.
The biggest red flag is that he accepted money from you. A genuine tunisian man wouldn't accept it or even ask it. It's shamefull in Tunisian culture to do this

Yvonne xxx
 

Bubbly

Major Ratslayer
Hello dear ! It reminds me of my story in a way. I feel very sorry for you but trust me you will go stronger from this. Life is full of surprises, you lived the bad ones but believe you will get good ones too. For your own mental and physical health, don’t contact him anymore. Also be assured he won’t get a french visa unless he marries or gets one pregnant. If ever he comes back to you saying that he has one, you will know what to expect.
Just curious, pls tell me how is he able to travel to Tunisia if he has no European visa ? Is he gonna come back to Europe ? How ?
 

Escaped321

Active Member
Hello dear ! It reminds me of my story in a way. I feel very sorry for you but trust me you will go stronger from this. Life is full of surprises, you lived the bad ones but believe you will get good ones too. For your own mental and physical health, don’t contact him anymore. Also be assured he won’t get a french visa unless he marries or gets one pregnant. If ever he comes back to you saying that he has one, you will know what to expect.
Just curious, pls tell me how is he able to travel to Tunisia if he has no European visa ? Is he gonna come back to Europe ? How ?
Bubbly,

He told me that his grandpa used to live in France and was citizen of France. so he is dealing with lawyers to get his citizenship. He also has many relatives living in France,,, yes he told me that if he wanted visa from me or anyone else… he could marry quickly or get some girl pregnant… and this Is what convinced me he is genuine…. But his behaviour and red flags made me always question his genuiness… I think I was back up plan if he cant afford the lawyer anymore or if his plans fail…
I don’t understand your question…. He is Tunisian so he is able travel to Tunisia… He has student visa that is why he is able to travel in Europe now… but it expires soon….
 

Yvonne

Moderator
Staff member
Bubbly,

He told me that his grandpa used to live in France and was citizen of France. so he is dealing with lawyers to get his citizenship. He also has many relatives living in France,,, yes he told me that if he wanted visa from me or anyone else… he could marry quickly or get some girl pregnant… and this Is what convinced me he is genuine…. But his behaviour and red flags made me always question his genuiness… I think I was back up plan if he cant afford the lawyer anymore or if his plans fail…
I don’t understand your question…. He is Tunisian so he is able travel to Tunisia… He has student visa that is why he is able to travel in Europe now… but it expires soon….
Many Tunisians have relatives in France, legally or illegaly. If his student visa expires he can't stay there he will need to go back to Tunisia or stay illegal in France, which is what many tunisians do, they stay under the radar and work there as an illegal immigrant.

Yvonne xxx
 

Bubbly

Major Ratslayer
Bubbly,

He told me that his grandpa used to live in France and was citizen of France. so he is dealing with lawyers to get his citizenship. He also has many relatives living in France,,, yes he told me that if he wanted visa from me or anyone else… he could marry quickly or get some girl pregnant… and this Is what convinced me he is genuine…. But his behaviour and red flags made me always question his genuiness… I think I was back up plan if he cant afford the lawyer anymore or if his plans fail…
I don’t understand your question…. He is Tunisian so he is able travel to Tunisia… He has student visa that is why he is able to travel in Europe now… but it expires soon….
Yeah but if he is illegal and leaving the UE he can’t fly back.
And the ancestors thing doesn’t work lol even if all his family were leaving here it isn’t that simple.
Plus, lawyers are free in France for people like him.
 

Bubbly

Major Ratslayer
Many Tunisians have relatives in France, legally or illegaly. If his student visa expires he can't stay there he will need to go back to Tunisia or stay illegal in France, which is what many tunisians do, they stay under the radar and work there as an illegal immigrant.

Yvonne xxx
I know an Algerian guy who isn’t a rat, IT student in a very good uni in Paris. He works 3 jobs to support himself and they haven’t renewed his student visa. His university won’t help.
 

Escaped321

Active Member
Yeah but if he is illegal and leaving the UE he can’t fly back.
And the ancestors thing doesn’t work lol even if all his family were leaving here it isn’t that simple.
Plus, lawyers are free in France for people like him.
He will be back before his student visa expires… Free lawyers? What do you mean?can you elaborate on this?
 

Escaped321

Active Member
So dear members….
Do you think he was using me as his back up plan? Because this is how I feel….another thing is that I am European living in UK… and even he was EU citizen it would be hard for him to enter UK to live there because UK is out of EU. I had access to UK and EU at the same time…
 

yougogirl75

Major Ratslayer
So dear members….
Do you think he was using me as his back up plan? Because this is how I feel….another thing is that I am European living in UK… and even he was EU citizen it would be hard for him to enter UK to live there because UK is out of EU. I had access to UK and EU at the same time…
I think he was using you as a back plan for sure, the rats always have different scenarios and network so other victims may also be in his plans and you will never know.
 

Yvonne

Moderator
Staff member
So dear members….
Do you think he was using me as his back up plan? Because this is how I feel….another thing is that I am European living in UK… and even he was EU citizen it would be hard for him to enter UK to live there because UK is out of EU. I had access to UK and EU at the same time…
He kept you as a secret, he blocked you, unblocked you, left you and came back after a while. Rat games and he's playing with you to see how far he can go before you realize he's not a genuine man but a rat.
Run.... block, delete each attempt from him to try to reach you again or this will end in tears.
Please listen to the advice given to you and think about it, do you really want to live this way? Wondering if you're new love or future husband could be a rat?
You where going through a divorce and he knew that so you where vulnerable.

Yvonne xxx
 

Bubbly

Major Ratslayer
He will be back before his student visa expires… Free lawyers? What do you mean?can you elaborate on this?
People who don’t pay taxes are entitled to free lawyers, even students and even illegals. He doesn’t need money for a legal procedure and if ever he needed his family in France would help him when it comes to getting visas they are full of solidarity !
 

Bubbly

Major Ratslayer
So dear members….
Do you think he was using me as his back up plan? Because this is how I feel….another thing is that I am European living in UK… and even he was EU citizen it would be hard for him to enter UK to live there because UK is out of EU. I had access to UK and EU at the same time…
Yeah he is using you for anything he can get, pass time, sex, maybe a marriage and a visa. Someone living somewhere else if he gets in trouble in France. Someone who would love him enough to make all his paperwork.
 

Escaped321

Active Member
People who don’t pay taxes are entitled to free lawyers, even students and even illegals. He doesn’t need money for a legal procedure and if ever he needed his family in France would help him when it comes to getting visas they are full of solidarity !
Thank you for that. I did not know this. He is student in Greece, but lives in France A lot of things don’t add up here, I was such A fool…. And it hurts…
 

Mica

Administrator
Staff member
Thank you for that. I did not know this. He is student in Greece, but lives in France A lot of things don’t add up here, I was such A fool…. And it hurts…

You are not a fool. We dont expect people to behave like this and why should we?
He is the only one at fault. You were/are a normal loving caring person who didn't know about these visa/money/romance scams :( and so you treated him how you would treat another normal person - nothing foolish in that x
 
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Bubbly

Major Ratslayer
Thank you for that. I did not know this. He is student in Greece, but lives in France A lot of things don’t add up here, I was such A fool…. And it hurts…
Yeah it shows he is desperate to settle anywhere in the UE. As for France I see no future for him here, everybody has been struggling since covid they don’t issue visas, only to those who are fathers of french kids and probably those who are married. It is getting very strict. Though they don’t deport anyone but he will remain illegal for quite a few years. He has nothing good to bring to you, only hurt, pain and trouble. He doesn’t love or respect you. I have been there and once I cut ties with my rat I felt a huge weight off my shoulders. These bastards are a nightmare to live with.
 

Rubee

Major Ratslayer
Thank you for that. I did not know this. He is student in Greece, but lives in France A lot of things don’t add up here, I was such A fool…. And it hurts…
Do not feel like a fool. they are good at what they do ! I can't say for sure he was using you but I am skeptical of any man from Tunisia. Even if he wasn't using you, the constant blocking and unblocking and hiding you is not healthy! My rat did that all the time it got to the point I was glad when he was gone for good. It was exhausting.
It gets better and we are all here for you !
 

Moonshine

Major Ratslayer
Hey everyone… First thing thank you for having this forum that helps so many women to see the truth and escape the disaster. My story is very long and finally it ended, I need to be strong because I know that my ex can come back any time even if I blocked him everywhere as this happened in the past.
i think I know all the answers, because I experienced certain behaviours and red flags that are described in this forum. I think I need a confirmation for myself just to keep going and to confirm that this break up is for good. So that I never look back.
His name is Foued B’a in Facebook if you want to look him up… I met him online in 2020, on Facebook. I was in the phones’s group on there and he found me there and added to his friends. I would never accept any stranger on my FB, especially from a Muslim country because I already had bad experiences in the past… However, his charm did all the job and I accepted.
4 days ago,,I was supposed to go to Tunisia to meet his parents and his entire family, relatives. However, everyone who I knew was against it so I made a decision not to go and flied to my birth country instead.
This person told me that he loves me when I was still married. After 2 months of only writing text messages he told me he loves me. And we did sexting with him quite soon, after those two moths of knowing him. I never saw him on video camera and he never called me. Ever. We had many disagreements from the begging and it always ended up in arguments and blocking. He blocked me on my birthday and this affected me a lot… He was playing blocking and unblocking games…
The first time when I decided to leave this relationship is because he kept me a secret and even I speeded up my divorce processs because of him.., he still kept me a secret…He was not talking to me on video calls and on a normal calls and always made an excuse that he is shy and that his English Is bad.., ( his English was perfect by the way from the day I knew him). My parents saw how much I cried for this relationship and told me that I should forget him… They told me to ask him to come and see me in my home country… but he refused. Because of this I blocked him and I lived my life without him. For few months,… I broke up with him so many times but he always came back. I was almost healed and was good. But this person reappeared in my life again asking for forgiveness and that he will make me forget bad past and his behaviour… After more than one year he started talking to me on camera and on phone…, And I was happy… he even agreed to apply for visitor visa and visit me in UK or at my birth country. He paid for our one weeks holiday in my birth country where we met. He met my parents also. He promised that I will see his parents on video call but that did not happen. He also told me that his parents should not see us together at the hotel because they will see that we live together which is forbidden. This was a disespect for me because he slept with me and my parents knew him and I never spoke with his.
He got his visitor visa to UK and he visited me one more time. Each time we meet we had sexual relations. Another time we met was again in UK during his birthday I bought him a ticket to see me… I bought him expensive gifts like mobile phone, and he never bought me anything I want or need.,, His gifts was two times only and very cheap,… He would always get angry that I mentioned this … I had to beg for him to buy me gift or flowers… in two years of relationship I never spoke with any of his family just with his female best friend. He had female friends and I did not like it.., even if I did not like it he would still keep them and communicate with them. He said … oh she is my best friends Fiance.., so you should not be worried. But they not even engaged… when I asked him to put us on his profile picture or on his time line he refused.,., he said I can’t it will creat problems for me and my mother… but he used to put pictures on his instagram with other female friends and he spoke so nicely about them under pictures.,,, what he did he put picture of us on his timeline only and only for specific people to see, ..,which I did not like. I felt hurt because he would easily put pic of his best friend with nice words under... even we was together at that time,, but never put me…
Another thing that I did not like that he would not do anything for my birthday…. He never bought me a gift for this occasion.., and he told me that my gift is delayed but it never came…and when asked him for distance bracelets …. He always say it is out of stock. Or it is delayed.., those bracelets could of improved our relationship but they would also tell wheee the other person is… so maybe that is why I never got them..
Our relationship was toxic because we would always argue and he would shout at me even if I was crying…. I was trying to explain how I feel and he would make it an argument… Recently he told me that I was such a toxic bad person but he still agreed to stay with me because he loves me… he blamed me for him being broke… he blamed me that he had to buy tickets for our one week holiday… (I asked to buy tickets) … and that he spend all his money to apply for tourist UK visa,,, he did not need visa for Europe country because he still lives in France with student visa …. He used to work as Uber driver but recently his account was blocked.,, he is in so much debt and he always complain how much debt he has….
He did not ask me for money for a long time… but …. I would pay for some things when he came to visit me.., I gave him some money because he run out of money he said,,, He also asked to pay for his tickets to Tunisia…, which he said he is ashamed and shy to ask,,, I asked how much he said 800…but I said sorry I can’t give u… he promised to return back… but I did not give…,
He said he will not marry me till he get his Eu residency which he is paying for a lawyer … he said to wait for 2-3 additional years till he becomes financially stable and proposes/marries me. This seemed to much for me,.. because these two years was a nightmare full of tears… when I tell him that he hurt me.,, he said that I hurt myself and I did this all to myself …. I would often wonder what kind of person he is….
I paid for tickets to see him in Tunisia because he went there beginning of this month…He came there to have his holiday and I was supposed to join him… but I did not go because he hurt me again by shouting and swearing at me when I was crying about our relationship,..,he told me I am bad person and there is hidden evil in me and that I should Google about my actions, that I should not be a victim. he blocked me that time …. Then later he unblocked me… I started thinking that everything is my fault … that I was bad person for him…
His words Never matched his actions,… one time he told me to have a good life after argue… I told him that I won’t have a good life because I feel like I want to die….but he just blocked me…and left me,,,
The end was that everyone asked me stay away from him…. Even my coworkers …. They told me not to go to Tunisia. He told me oh my mother said you will be her daughter… she is preparing to see you… even my father who I never spoke about any women is happy to see you… my aunty wants to buy u a gift,,, my mother gave me money to buy you gift,,.,my family loves you I told you…, His mother was fine for us to live in their house when I come. When I asked my ex why in these two years I never spoke with his parents… he told me they are shy! And then I responded how are they not shy for me to live at their house…. So I did not go to Tunisia and I told him goodbye a week ago,,, interesting thing is that each time we break up,., he puts smiley picture of himself like he is very happy about everything… I blocked him from everywhere. … I am sorry if something is not clear but it has been 2 years it is hard to put everything in few sentences... Thank you..
100% rat blocking unblocking unfriending friend request we all had that crap
No cam that's a way to control you we had that too at beginning then after a few years he will cam u when he feels like it
But rats get angry if u call or cam them without permission off them
Bur get angry again if they cam and u don't answer
One tiny little thing set rats 0ff then watch the abusive anger then silence
They will accuse u off anything even made up stuff
But u dare confront them with truth and he angers and tells family its all u and he needs rest from you
Or your jealous woman or u won't stop calling
When u ain't called ratty once
All what u say we all have had it
You absolutely had a lucky escape
But think on some women it continued for years
Think your self lucky only 2 years you had a fucking nasty ride with this pillock brainless ratscum
Dont go back you do and that's a signal you given him the go ahead to do ir again and he knows every time he dose anything wrong you will forgive him
Rat mentality that's fucked up In rattys head !!!!!
 

CyprusBoy

Well-Known Member
He kept you as a secret, he blocked you, unblocked you, left you and came back after a while. Rat games and he's playing with you to see how far he can go before you realize he's not a genuine man but a rat.
Run.... block, delete each attempt from him to try to reach you again or this will end in tears.
Please listen to the advice given to you and think about it, do you really want to live this way? Wondering if you're new love or future husband could be a rat?
You where going through a divorce and he knew that so you where vulnerable.

Yvonne xxx
Absolutely..............
 

Escaped321

Active Member
How are you today @Escaped321?
We all know it hurts to find out you where being scammed xx
Are you ok or is all the information coming your way a bit to much?

Yvonne xxx
I am very sad these days…. My parents told me that they don’t want to see or hear from my rat anymore, including my sister. I still wanted him to come to Lithuania…but …I told my ex over the phone that my family do not want to see him or hear from him and he just hang up on me… and I blocked him… My family strongly believes that this person did not love me and only had bad intentions. This and reading about signs of fake love is what helps me to stay away from this person…
At least I wasted over 2 years and not any more… But again… it is hard because my love was real.
 

Escaped321

Active Member
Thank you everyone for your contributions…
If not my family, especially my parents… I think I still carried on…. It is difficult, because I think I am trauma bonded to my ex.
And I told him that everyone is against our relationship including my closest family and friends… he told me oh you believe other people and not your lover. … I am 29 years old and turn 30 in January…. He was 4 years younger.
I am no longer in contact… I hope I have strength to keep him blocked and hope that he doesn’t contact me after month of 3 months when I am kind of healed, because he did it before.
 

Yvonne

Moderator
Staff member
@Escaped321 we know that it's hard to stay away from him but remember how he made you feel, he screamed at you and made you feel bad. Blocked you and unblocked you several times. This man is a rat there's no doubt about it. You're love was and is real but not on his side, it was a scam.
It will be a difficult time for you and it wil take alot of courage to not communicate with him but it's the only way to get rid of him.
He will be back trying to convince you he is a good man but please listen to your family and friends. Block, delete without reading his texts it would only hurt you.

Yvonne xxx
 

Butterflies

Major Ratslayer
Thank you everyone for your contributions…
If not my family, especially my parents… I think I still carried on…. It is difficult, because I think I am trauma bonded to my ex.
And I told him that everyone is against our relationship including my closest family and friends… he told me oh you believe other people and not your lover. … I am 29 years old and turn 30 in January…. He was 4 years younger.
I am no longer in contact… I hope I have strength to keep him blocked and hope that he doesn’t contact me after month of 3 months when I am kind of healed, because he did it before.
Hi @Escaped321 you have wasted your time with him but you are somehow still attached to him. It's normal because you wanted this "love" to be real and true, it's sad to say but it was never real. Not from the beginning and not through your entire relationship with him.
It will hurt for a while but as you said on your thread title you escaped the worst. He treated you bad so try to think of that when you feel weak and you want to reach out to him. He's not worthy of you, imagine living with him? How will he treat you, he treated you bad in the past and his behavior will not change.
Whenever you feel like you want to talk to him just come here and we will talk you through the bad days.
 
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