Do I go?? Advice/Experiences greatly appreciated.

Football0404

Member
Joined
Jun 24, 2019
Messages
8
Hi,
I am relatively new here and looking for some advice. Please feel free to ask more question as I may not have addressed anything in here.
I am 19, a student from the UK. Just over two weeks ago I went on holiday to Tunisia where I met a guy, 24, who I started to talk to. He worked at the hotel as a lifeguard during the summer months as he is at University. We exchanged FB and continued to message each other throughout the week, we had so much in common! To my surprise, on our second last day, he asked me out on a date which I agreed to go on the following night. Before the date, I had read up about love rats and knew some of the signs to look out for. I had a lovely time and there were no major red flags. One thing that made him stand out was how he seemed "well-off". His father is a teacher, his uncle a manager at a hotel. He has also travelled to a few European countries when he's played in sports tournaments, which I've read can be uncommon for Tunisians. The following day I was flying home so we talked about why he had left asking me out to the last day. I made sure not to give too much away when he asked if I would be back saying that I didn't know as I have a busy schedule.

Once I got home we continued to talk on messenger and we continue to facetime each other most days. The more I talk to him the more I like him. The other day he asked whether or not I would be able to return soon. In short, the answer is yes, I would be able to go for a week in September. The question is, do I go or not? He mentioned that I could stay in his family's other apartment and that he would send me pictures of it before I went. I have also considered looking into a cheap hotel in Sousse, just in case something went wrong. However, I have to question whether or not it is too soon. If I didn't go in September I doubt we would be able to see each other again before April-June when prices begin to increase.
Many Thanks, L.
 

Apples

Junior Rat Expert
Joined
Sep 30, 2018
Messages
1,190
Hi,
I am relatively new here and looking for some advice. Please feel free to ask more question as I may not have addressed anything in here.
I am 19, a student from the UK. Just over two weeks ago I went on holiday to Tunisia where I met a guy, 24, who I started to talk to. He worked at the hotel as a lifeguard during the summer months as he is at University. We exchanged FB and continued to message each other throughout the week, we had so much in common! To my surprise, on our second last day, he asked me out on a date which I agreed to go on the following night. Before the date, I had read up about love rats and knew some of the signs to look out for. I had a lovely time and there were no major red flags. One thing that made him stand out was how he seemed "well-off". His father is a teacher, his uncle a manager at a hotel. He has also travelled to a few European countries when he's played in sports tournaments, which I've read can be uncommon for Tunisians. The following day I was flying home so we talked about why he had left asking me out to the last day. I made sure not to give too much away when he asked if I would be back saying that I didn't know as I have a busy schedule.

Once I got home we continued to talk on messenger and we continue to facetime each other most days. The more I talk to him the more I like him. The other day he asked whether or not I would be able to return soon. In short, the answer is yes, I would be able to go for a week in September. The question is, do I go or not? He mentioned that I could stay in his family's other apartment and that he would send me pictures of it before I went. I have also considered looking into a cheap hotel in Sousse, just in case something went wrong. However, I have to question whether or not it is too soon. If I didn't go in September I doubt we would be able to see each other again before April-June when prices begin to increase.
Many Thanks, L.
Welcome Football :)
If you return to Tunisia will you and him be staying in the family apartment alone?
Which European countries has he been to and what kind of visa did he have to enter those European countries?
Have you seen the news about Tunisia lately?
There have been several suicide bombings in the last week.
 

Football0404

Member
Joined
Jun 24, 2019
Messages
8
Welcome Football :)
If you return to Tunisia will you and him be staying in the family apartment alone?
Which European countries has he been to and what kind of visa did he have to enter those European countries?
Have you seen the news about Tunisia lately?
There have been several suicide bombings in the last week.
Hi, Thank you for your reply.
Yes, we would be staying in the family apartment alone, away from his family.
I believe he went to Spain and France. At the time I didn't realise Tunisians required visas so did not ask however if I was to take an educated guess it would have been a Sports player one as he played as quite a high level.
Yes, I have seen the news and for a moment completely forgot. Thank you for reminding me as this will now aid my final decision.
 

Megane

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jul 27, 2016
Messages
178
Hi,
I am relatively new here and looking for some advice. Please feel free to ask more question as I may not have addressed anything in here.
I am 19, a student from the UK. Just over two weeks ago I went on holiday to Tunisia where I met a guy, 24, who I started to talk to. He worked at the hotel as a lifeguard during the summer months as he is at University. We exchanged FB and continued to message each other throughout the week, we had so much in common! To my surprise, on our second last day, he asked me out on a date which I agreed to go on the following night. Before the date, I had read up about love rats and knew some of the signs to look out for. I had a lovely time and there were no major red flags. One thing that made him stand out was how he seemed "well-off". His father is a teacher, his uncle a manager at a hotel. He has also travelled to a few European countries when he's played in sports tournaments, which I've read can be uncommon for Tunisians. The following day I was flying home so we talked about why he had left asking me out to the last day. I made sure not to give too much away when he asked if I would be back saying that I didn't know as I have a busy schedule.

Once I got home we continued to talk on messenger and we continue to facetime each other most days. The more I talk to him the more I like him. The other day he asked whether or not I would be able to return soon. In short, the answer is yes, I would be able to go for a week in September. The question is, do I go or not? He mentioned that I could stay in his family's other apartment and that he would send me pictures of it before I went. I have also considered looking into a cheap hotel in Sousse, just in case something went wrong. However, I have to question whether or not it is too soon. If I didn't go in September I doubt we would be able to see each other again before April-June when prices begin to increase.
Many Thanks, L.
Sorry if you fell this negative but I speak from the heart

One thing you need to know is that we all had so much in common with our rats. This is how they operate they work on your likes and your dislikes and they become an almost carbon copy of you. I'm not saying he is a rat but just be careful on the how similar you both are front because if he is a rat then this is fake. I too am from the UK and a lot older than you and my advise to you whether he is a rat is or not is not to get involved. Treat this as a holiday thing where you had a very nice time and leave it there. Don't communicate as you will be sucked in further and manipulated and fall for him and once under the spell of a rat you will do whatever he wants and give him whatever he wants no matter how strong you think you are and think you will resist it.. You're young and starting out in life and Tunisian men even if not a rat will only lead you to heartache. No matter how much they seem to be like us trust me they are not and never will be. Their culture and values are totally different to ours and they may act like western people but this is a mask. You will lose all of your independence and everything that you are currently working towards and where you plan to be in life will be a massive waste of time. Chalk it up to experience and walk away, stop communicating with him for your own sake. Yes at first life will seem quiet and you'll miss the good mornings and good nights and the little messages in between but it really is the best thing that you can do.

Further note: In the UK we class teachers and doctors and those sort of professionals as well respected people that we can trust. This is not the case in Tunisia whether you are a professional person or a beggar on the street the integrity remains the same there isn't any. Look through this site, I think its Judithlyn (Heidi could confirm) her rats family had what we class as respectable jobs but they were still in on the scam with their son and entertained his numerous girlfriends/victims.
 

Apples

Junior Rat Expert
Joined
Sep 30, 2018
Messages
1,190
Hi, Thank you for your reply.
Yes, we would be staying in the family apartment alone, away from his family.
I believe he went to Spain and France. At the time I didn't realise Tunisians required visas so did not ask however if I was to take an educated guess it would have been a Sports player one as he played as quite a high level.
Yes, I have seen the news and for a moment completely forgot. Thank you for reminding me as this will now aid my final decision.
It’s illegal for unmarried people to stay alone in an apartment in Tunisia.
You could be charged with prostitution.
@Heidi @Mango Chutney @Laura2014 can explain this better than I can.
 

Megane

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jul 27, 2016
Messages
178
It’s illegal for unmarried people to stay alone in an apartment in Tunisia.
You could be charged with prostitution.
@Heidi @Mango Chutney @Laura2014 can explain this better than I can.
and surely if he was a good muslim man he would respect her too much to ask her to even consider doing this? He is showing exactly what he thinks of her with this offer that they stay in a family apartment and I would assume that the family would know they're staying in the apartment which means that they too are in on it and totally disrespecting her.
 

Megane

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jul 27, 2016
Messages
178
Thank you for this insight and I'm grateful for the hard truth. I guess I've been naive believing it could never happen to me. I knew the cultures/laws were strict but never to that extent.
You haven't been naive sweetie we simply don't know their cultures and they are secretive and won't talk about anything honestly because they don't want us to know. It gives us the power to see beyond their lies. When I saw your very first post every single part of my being just screamed NOOOOOOO!!!!! I actually felt panicked for you. If you want to have further dealings with Tunisia take a look through the site, get an insight into the place and the actions of the people. None of the women here are speaking as bitter exe's they are only telling the cold hard truth of what has happened and what still happens to this day. The difference is if we spoke to most of our friends/acquaintances about these things they'd think we'd gone crazy but the stories here are true life and it's great that we have somewhere to talk about it and get help/support.
 

Apples

Junior Rat Expert
Joined
Sep 30, 2018
Messages
1,190
Thank you for this insight and I'm grateful for the hard truth. I guess I've been naive believing it could never happen to me. I knew the cultures/laws were strict but never to that extent.
Here’s a great thread for you to read :)
 

Brasilgirl

Senior Rat Expert
Joined
Feb 28, 2018
Messages
2,830
Hi,
I am relatively new here and looking for some advice. Please feel free to ask more question as I may not have addressed anything in here.
I am 19, a student from the UK. Just over two weeks ago I went on holiday to Tunisia where I met a guy, 24, who I started to talk to. He worked at the hotel as a lifeguard during the summer months as he is at University. We exchanged FB and continued to message each other throughout the week, we had so much in common! To my surprise, on our second last day, he asked me out on a date which I agreed to go on the following night. Before the date, I had read up about love rats and knew some of the signs to look out for. I had a lovely time and there were no major red flags. One thing that made him stand out was how he seemed "well-off". His father is a teacher, his uncle a manager at a hotel. He has also travelled to a few European countries when he's played in sports tournaments, which I've read can be uncommon for Tunisians. The following day I was flying home so we talked about why he had left asking me out to the last day. I made sure not to give too much away when he asked if I would be back saying that I didn't know as I have a busy schedule.

Once I got home we continued to talk on messenger and we continue to facetime each other most days. The more I talk to him the more I like him. The other day he asked whether or not I would be able to return soon. In short, the answer is yes, I would be able to go for a week in September. The question is, do I go or not? He mentioned that I could stay in his family's other apartment and that he would send me pictures of it before I went. I have also considered looking into a cheap hotel in Sousse, just in case something went wrong. However, I have to question whether or not it is too soon. If I didn't go in September I doubt we would be able to see each other again before April-June when prices begin to increase.
Many Thanks, L.
Hi @Football0404. Welcome. I am almost 21 years old and met my rat on-line just before I turned 19.
It is amazing how they seem to be so perfect.
I thought my rat was perfect for me. We had similar goals and likes. I never met him but he was still able to draw me in.
Your relations ship is new. Tunisian men can be very sweet, but be very careful! The repeated sweetness and love bombing is addicting and how they start to brainwash you. It is brainwashing and he will try to make you do things you would never do or accept in a regular relationship. I’m not talking about sex or revealing photos, for me it was changing my life goals, plans, changing what I want. I felt like I didn’t even know myself after a while, but I wanted him. These rats are patient. They take their time. They need time to prove a ‘real’ relationship so they can get their visa.

Staying or living with a man you are not married to is against the law in Tunisia. Sex before marriage is haram. A woman who does these things is considered a whore.
A single woman does not stay in another families home unless they are related. Even Muslim people in Canada or the US do not allow their unmarried daughters to stay with a man or his family, or even a girl friends family if there is a man or boy in the home. A woman who does this is not respected. Even my Canadian Muslim friends could not have a sleep over at my home when we were 16 but I could stay at her home.
It is true that the younger Tunisians are more relaxed with religion, but in good families their parents and families are not. Tunisian men are controlled by their family until they are married and then they follow the cultural ways. My rat needed his father to sign for him to get a passport even while he was 22. I invited him to Brasil and he got upset because his father would hate him if he left Tunisia to go to Brasil, but Canada was okay. So you see how the father is still in control?
My rat has a brother who is an athlete and has travelled. He has another brother who has travelled too. He seemed well off for a Tunisian.
I talked to another rat who is a football player currently. He has travelled to Brasil. I quit talking to him when I realised he was Tunisian.
Both had sent me screen shots of their phone for various reasons and I could see that they had phones that had two active SIM cards installed both with strong signal.
You can google to see the phone models that can take two at once. Rats use them so they can have two of each WhatsApp or dating apps active on the one phone without switching SIM cards as often. But seriously, what normal person needs two phone numbers for a personal phone? If you read here you will learn about how they have multiple SIM cards and phone numbers as they are cheap there.
 

Heidi

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Joined
Dec 9, 2009
Messages
14,380
He mentioned that I could stay in his family's other apartment and that he would send me pictures of it before I went.
Welcome Football0404 :) I think you got fished by a tunisian love rat. Beside the true posts from the other members here, there is the question how come he did not send you pictures of the apartment already? It looks to me like he will rent an apartment shortly before you were due to arrive and take pictures then ;)
 

Brasilgirl

Senior Rat Expert
Joined
Feb 28, 2018
Messages
2,830
Welcome Football0404 :) I think you got fished by a tunisian love rat. Beside the true posts from the other members here, there is the question how come he did not send you pictures of the apartment already? It looks to me like he will rent an apartment shortly before you were due to arrive and take pictures then ;)
That is what I was thinking.
 

MH007

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Staff member
Joined
Oct 4, 2013
Messages
2,763
Thank you for this insight and I'm grateful for the hard truth. I guess I've been naive believing it could never happen to me. I knew the cultures/laws were strict but never to that extent.
Welcome @Football0404

Please understand that what these ladies write is correct and you should never stay in an apartment alone - you don't even know this guy really do you?

Its a legal requirement to advise the authorities if you are staying in an apartment.

My advise is stay away - you don't need this seriously BUT if you do return stay in a reputable hotel and I say this only because I was determined to return despite the advise here.

Be strong and walk away I beg you but if you return stay with us on here as there is no amount of advise open to you.

MH x
 

MH007

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Staff member
Joined
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Messages
2,763
Thank you for this insight and I'm grateful for the hard truth. I guess I've been naive believing it could never happen to me. I knew the cultures/laws were strict but never to that extent.
Stay away - it's going to lead to heartbreak and you don't need it nor deserve it, run whilst you still can before he manipulates you.
.
MH x
 

Football0404

Member
Joined
Jun 24, 2019
Messages
8
You can google to see the phone models that can take two at once. Rats use them so they can have two of each WhatsApp or dating apps active on the one phone without switching SIM cards as often. But seriously, what normal person needs two phone numbers for a personal phone? If you read here you will learn about how they have multiple SIM cards and phone numbers as they are cheap there.
Never heard of this before. I don't remember what model his phone was, just that it was a Samsung.
 

Football0404

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Joined
Jun 24, 2019
Messages
8
Welcome Football0404 :) I think you got fished by a tunisian love rat. Beside the true posts from the other members here, there is the question how come he did not send you pictures of the apartment already? It looks to me like he will rent an apartment shortly before you were due to arrive and take pictures then ;)
This could very well be a possibility. If I don't see photos soon then that was probably his plan.
 

Football0404

Member
Joined
Jun 24, 2019
Messages
8
What kind of small red flags did you notice?
Looking back there wasn't any. The most confusing thing is religion. He is a Muslim, and I know that his mother is very strict with her religion too. Yet he drinks, smokes and gambles. Why would his mother be ok with us sharing an apartment alone? After reading some of the other forums I have noticed more things. He never uses my name, always darling or babe/baby.
 

Heidi

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Dec 9, 2009
Messages
14,380
I went away with my mum and the entire stay we were together. He said that he didn't come and talk with me because he could 'see it in her eyes' that she didn't like us talking. I did understand that so we only talked for a short while when my mum left for the room.
Did you ask you mum what she thinks about that? :D

Why would his mother be ok with us sharing an apartment alone?
A rat mother will not mind but he might tell you shortly before you are to arrive, that the apartment is used for a family emergency and that you'll have to rent another one ;)
 

Megane

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Joined
Jul 27, 2016
Messages
178
Looking back there wasn't any. The most confusing thing is religion. He is a Muslim, and I know that his mother is very strict with her religion too. Yet he drinks, smokes and gambles. Why would his mother be ok with us sharing an apartment alone? After reading some of the other forums I have noticed more things. He never uses my name, always darling or babe/baby.
His mother will be OK with it because they prostitute their sons for gain. They eventually start asking for money/gifts which the family benefit from. Plus if it went as far marriage and he lived in the UK he would send most if not all of his money back to them. It's getting very hard for them to get into any western country now the governments are cracking right down on it.
 

Football0404

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Jun 24, 2019
Messages
8
Did you ask you mum what she thinks about that? :D



A rat mother will not mind but he might tell you shortly before you are to arrive, that the apartment is used for a family emergency and that you'll have to rent another one ;)
I haven't. :)
 
F

Former Member 4

Guest
what is rly disturbing for me here is the gambling part.
A lot of tunisians drink and as a already explained, most of tunisians arent true muslims but it's a customized cultural vision of islam and most of them dosent pray.

Coming back to the gambling part, it's very bad seen from a cultural point of view and it's a sign that the person is believing that a miracle will make his situation better rather than hard work and ambitions.

About the apartment,in any case better book something on airbnb / hotel with your own money and identity rather than staying in someone else's place.

It's not illegal to stay in a private space with someone else and even that sex is illegal before wedding, police have to catch you having sex to convict you. they cant jail you for sex you "did" have or "gonna" have. As you might imagine, as a tunisian i did have sex with girls ive been with in Tunisia, yet ivent been jailed.

But, always make sure to you condoms, tunisians arent known for being clean and most of them dont use condoms.

Anyway, if you ever decided to come to Sousse, make sure to share your address with people you trust. in case you are in trouble i can give you some numbers to call ( i have contacts in the local police)

But if you really want my opinion, dont go there. i dont know the guy and have nothing against him, cant judge if he is a rat (except what i said below) but im afraid no one can garantee your safety here...
 
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