Abuse, comes from someone's inability to cope with their own feelings. There's been many interpretations of a certain verse in the Qur'an, but the prophet Muhammad (pbuh) does not condone violence against women. I trust him above any imam or scholar.
The Qur’an and prophetic practice clearly illustrate the relationship between spouses. The Qur’an says the relationship is based on tranquillity, unconditional love, tenderness, protection, encouragement, peace, kindness, comfort, justice and mercy.
The Muslim prophet, Muhammad, set direct examples of these ideals of a marital relationship in his personal life. There is no clearer prophetic saying about a husband’s responsibility toward his wife than his response when asked:
Give her food when you take food, clothe her when you clothe yourself, do not revile her face, and do not beat her.
Muhammad further stressed the importance of kindness toward women in his farewell pilgrimage. He equated the violation of their marital rights to a breach of the couple’s covenant with God.
Abusive behaviour towards a woman is also forbidden because it contradicts the objectives of Islamic jurisprudence – specifically the preservation of life and reason, and the Qur’anic injunctions of righteousness and kind treatment.