Five years

Derbygirl

Well-Known Member
Joined
Aug 4, 2016
Messages
203
So true Amira,
Although if you know the culture the langauge a rat can play the game for years.
It's a bonus to know these things yes, what makes it harder is the length they go to cover thier true intentions.
1 year 15 years they bleed you dry and then throw you away for a younger model if they lucky.
A cousin will hide in the background being your friend they all play a good game.
A rat is a rat and no knowledge will save you.
Our problem is we marry for love we trust to easy.
We give to easy to these poor poor people but keep your eyes open ladies they not so poor as you think.
Sure they live in bad areas but God dam they know how to budget they know how to save.
Look at the gold they wear look at the suitcase of clothes they take when they go to a wedding.
Rat family is probably richer than any of us.:eek:
So true!!!!
 

Etoyoc

Administrator
Staff member
Joined
Feb 9, 2009
Messages
1,384
This month marks my husband's and my 5th anniversary. Many said "just wait until you are married then you will see" then it was "just wait until he gets his greencard, then you will see" then it was , "well it certainly wont last 5 years".

Many times I have wondered what makes us different than the majority and I think it boils down to the following:

1. Realistic expectations and basic cultural understanding by both parties. Before marriage he had lived in the west and I had been married to someone from the east we already knew what we liked and didnt like about the cultures. We lived a similar lifestyle and had reasonable expectations of each other.

2. We hammered differences out early on before marriage. Forcing yourselves to discuss difficult topics is not easy but better to make sure you can work them out before marriage rather than after.

3. No mistreatment, bad behavior, infedelity, mistrust, dishonesty etc prior to marriage (or after) I see a lot of times there are signs of these but they are shrugged off or the man convinces her that it never happened "they make sabotage" "i was hacked" "I get jealous because I love you too much" "she is my cousin" "I was too sick to answer the phone" etc. I never had any negative gut reaction about my husband. There has never been that "I dont know exactly what it is, but things dont quite add up" feeling that we so often hear women say early on. On the contrary, things felt natural and calm with him. I didnt ignore signs of rattery and had it magically work out, he simply has never acted in any way that would cause me to question him.

4. True representation of our real selves. While everyone wants to put their best foot forward, we were both very transparent regarding who we were including our shortcomings and challenges. We met online and after 6 months of honest conversations there were no surprises when we finally met and married (except that he hogs the blankets and rolls himself up like a mummy in them- THAT was an unwelcome surprise).

Whatever the actual success rate is for Tunisian-western marriage, whether it is 30% or 1% I am grateful to be in the minority. There will ALWAYS be exceptions...but dont allow the knowledge that SOME relationships do work to cause you to second guess yourself.
Hear hear ... and ... congratulations. :)
 

MH007

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Staff member
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Oct 4, 2013
Messages
2,763
@Cydney

Wow 5 years - seems like only yesterday, congratulations.

I hold my hands up to being one of the dubious ones as i think most of us were.

Glad you are happy - i remember the stick you got back then but great that you have stuck with us, thank you.

Congrats again

MH x
 

simple

Ratslayer
Joined
Nov 1, 2011
Messages
7,268
Congratulations from me too..Its great also that you help here ,your experience is not one sided,We also had Nutty Professor .who was succesfuly married for 5 years also...
 

gem15

Junior Rat Expert
Joined
Feb 25, 2010
Messages
561
Congratulations on the 5 years, it's rare but theres a few success stories out there.

We are 9 years married next month and 11 years together. It feels like an accomplishment when theres so many horror stories.
 

March

Member
Joined
Feb 9, 2019
Messages
13
I want to ask.... if Women living Happy with a Tunisian man married for many years, And what do they do on this site?
 

CUDDLE

Junior Rat Expert
Joined
Jan 3, 2011
Messages
2,259
Congratulations on the 5 years, it's rare but theres a few success stories out there.

We are 9 years married next month and 11 years together. It feels like an accomplishment when theres so many horror stories.
Are you still living in Tunisia?

You have a business there if i remember correctly?

Congratulations on your long marriage Gem ...I know of a few that have had happy endings....Not all Tunisian men are Rats
 

gem15

Junior Rat Expert
Joined
Feb 25, 2010
Messages
561
Are you still living in Tunisia?

You have a business there if i remember correctly?

Congratulations on your long marriage Gem ...I know of a few that have had happy endings....Not all Tunisian men are Rats
Yeah still living in Tunisia and yeah we still have the business. Theres a few long termers but theres also lots of failed marriages and not thru rat behaviour just normal every day stuff.
 

MH007

Administrator
Staff member
Joined
Oct 4, 2013
Messages
2,763
I want to ask.... if Women living Happy with a Tunisian man married for many years, And what do they do on this site?
They stay on this site to offer advice to other members because they care and see first hand how the rats are working.

I love that we have members surviving 5 years marriage or longer.

Like we say not all are rats BUT don't let that you lull you into a self security trap - most Tunisians you will ever come into contact with will be involved in bezness be it online or through meeting on holiday.

I must also stress that the prince mask can take many many years to fall off.

MH x
 
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