Found out its a rat before its too late

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Heidi

Inactive
I haven’t been talking with anyone except my own friends. I decided that my son deserved for me to give his dad a chance to be a dad to him. This is going good, maybe won’t always, maybe is an act but my son deserves that chance! I decided to stop making someone else’s issues with him my issues because they aren’t. If it all goes wrong then that’s my problem. What I don’t appreciate is sharing a photo of my son on here! His dads paying for things for him, his nappies, clothes and other things. It costs him a lot in fuel to come visit him which he’s doing regular so what I see is him making a huge effort to be a dad so that can’t be a bad thing!
The baby's face is hidden

He moved in on the 15th December and tried to control me and my kids. Make us live like Muslims! I too paid for most things. He didn’t get a chance to get violent but sometimes he’d say things that showed he could be and he also hold me too hard, if that makes sense?! He also lost his temper with my 4yr old daughter, shouted and swore at her so I decided to get rid!
I didn’t pay out huge amounts of money but I was the one paying almost everything! He would go on about needing a new visa and the cost. Probably trying to get me to pay for it!
The going is good?
 

Keldeanz

Active Member
Him being a dad! He hasn’t moved in and won’t be either so why you throwing that out? His face hidden or not it’s still his photo!
 

Mango Chutney

Moderator
Staff member
I haven’t been talking with anyone except my own friends. I decided that my son deserved for me to give his dad a chance to be a dad to him. This is going good, maybe won’t always, maybe is an act but my son deserves that chance! I decided to stop making someone else’s issues with him my issues because they aren’t. If it all goes wrong then that’s my problem. What I don’t appreciate is sharing a photo of my son on here! His dads paying for things for him, his nappies, clothes and other things. It costs him a lot in fuel to come visit him which he’s doing regular so what I see is him making a huge effort to be a dad so that can’t be a bad thing!
Oh Kel :Cry:
I understand you wanting the best for your boy, for wanting him to have a relationship with his father, I can’t knock you for this.
The sad thing is, you are acting with little mans best interests at heart, you want the best for him, and of course you do, he’s your little boy, you love him.

Unfortunately, the rat is doing things with an ulterior motive....without doubt.
He knew he was to be deported, so he frantically tried to create an anchor baby, in the hopes of having the decision reversed.

Every visit with baby will be documented, photographed, published online, everything he buys for baby, he will keep receipts for.....this is for the authorities benefit and his visa....not because he has baby boys best interests at heart as you do.

Once rat has permanent papers, he will have no interest in any of your children, including the one he fathered....you are a means to an end only :Cry:

I don’t enjoy writing this stuff, it must hurt you, but it’s the truth. Baby will grieve for his dad once he’s gone....and you’ll have to fix the mess :(

Stay safe, stay strong, we know how physically abusive this rat is, as do the police, we know how he tried to control you before. Try to stay one step ahead :)
 

Keldeanz

Active Member
Ups, my mistake! Seeing him nude in bed with the baby must have given me a wrong idea
Nude??? He wasn’t nude! He had his top off. It’s called skin to skin contact and is encouraged for bonding! Not that it’s anyones business but the reason he was in the bedroom is because my severely autistic son has the tv on at 100 volume all the time and that’s not good for the baby so I sit in my room a lot with the baby!
 

Heidi

Inactive
Nude??? He wasn’t nude! He had his top off. It’s called skin to skin contact and is encouraged for bonding! Not that it’s anyones business but the reason he was in the bedroom is because my severely autistic son has the tv on at 100 volume all the time and that’s not good for the baby so I sit in my room a lot with the baby!
Thank you, I learn something new every day :)

As Dad sits with baby skin to skin on his chest, oxytocin (natural “feel good” hormone) levels in his body increase. With increased oxytocin levels, Dad's testosterone levels decrease.
 

Femme Fatale

Inactive
Any mental health professional will tell this lady what she doing to her son will not be good in the long run when she knows herself how they treat babies that are not Tunisian. All i know is that you need to be prepared to explain to your child why his dad favors the children of his Tunisian bride better.

Let me ask you. What are you prepared to do when that Tunisian bride forces your baby daddy to stop interacting with his son? You and all of us know it’s coming the minute the Tunisian bride gets there. When have you ever seen a Tunisian woman acting as a step parent to a child that is not her own. Especially one done out of a visa attempt and out of spite.

Legitimate question.
 

Keldeanz

Active Member
Any mental health professional will tell this lady what she doing to her son will not be good in the long run when she knows herself how they treat babies that are not Tunisian. All i know is that you need to be prepared to explain to your child why his dad favors the children of his Tunisian bride better.

Let me ask you. What are you prepared to do when that Tunisian bride forces your baby daddy to stop interacting with his son? You and all of us know it’s coming the minute the Tunisian bride gets there. When have you ever seen a Tunisian woman acting as a step parent to a child that is not her own. Especially one done out of a visa attempt and out of spite.

Legitimate question.
Then I will just carry on bringing up my son and he will know I gave his dad a chance and it wasn’t my fault he doesn’t have a dad. Same as I’m doing with my other kids! But what if he does turn out to be a great dad to him and I denied that?? I’mdoing what I believe is the right thing to do.
 

Vampirecat

Inactive
To be honest guys im agreeing plz i love u guys but plz let kelly alone now plz she has the bb now . Shes right give him a chance he mighve changed for his wee boy im praying he has . Kelly be happy just get on with ur life i need to now . If it works out and i hope it does if it doesnt were all here anyway . Cats love yiz c u later im away for a while . No more thteafs from me about him it is what it is its done over x
 

Mango Chutney

Moderator
Staff member
Then I will just carry on bringing up my son and he will know I gave his dad a chance and it wasn’t my fault he doesn’t have a dad. Same as I’m doing with my other kids! But what if he does turn out to be a great dad to him and I denied that?? I’mdoing what I believe is the right thing to do.
He won’t be a great dad, Kel.....as his reasons for spending time with his son are not the right reasons. He will not be interested once he has those permanent papers, enabling him the bring his Tunisian wife to be over, or to save enough money in the UK to settle in Tunisia.

Your intentions are good, they are for the right reasons...but the rats are not.

What is your relationship with the rat now? Is it all back on, or are you just giving visitation rights for the little fella?
 

Mystery

Inactive
Then I will just carry on bringing up my son and he will know I gave his dad a chance and it wasn’t my fault he doesn’t have a dad. Same as I’m doing with my other kids! But what if he does turn out to be a great dad to him and I denied that?? I’mdoing what I believe is the right thing to do.
Sorry to be brutal,
You are putting the needs of a abusive man and your needs first.
Why would any woman allow this abusive man in any of thier child's lives.
I am sorry to say this but you are putting yourself and your children in danger for a man who really is only wanting to stay in a country where he can bring his Tunisian bride.
You really are in delusion.
If a man is abusive he should never be near a child. And you the mother should put your children first not this visa hunting moron and let him get out of this country. You really need someone to step in for the sake of these children.
Obviously your needs is more important.
How sad..
 

Mango Chutney

Moderator
Staff member
To be honest guys im agreeing plz i love u guys but plz let kelly alone now plz she has the bb now . Shes right give him a chance he mighve changed for his wee boy im praying he has . Kelly be happy just get on with ur life i need to now . If it works out and i hope it does if it doesnt were all here anyway . Cats love yiz c u later im away for a while . No more thteafs from me about him it is what it is its done over x
Well done, VC.....what a show of strength!! :love:
 

Mystery

Inactive
He won’t be a great dad, Kel.....as his reasons for spending time with his son are not the right reasons. He will not be interested once he has those permanent papers, enabling him the bring his Tunisian wife to be over, or to save enough money in the UK to settle in Tunisia.

Your intentions are good, they are for the right reasons...but the rats are not.

What is your relationship with the rat now? Is it all back on, or are you just giving visitation rights for the little fella?
If this is the case why the hell is she allowing him in her home.
SS can provide safe places for contacts.
 

Mango Chutney

Moderator
Staff member
If this is the case why the hell is she allowing him in her home.
SS can provide safe places for contacts.
She thinks she is doing the best for her baby....I can’t knock this :)
My mother kept us from our real dad.....I’ve never forgiven her for it.
I do think we ought to follow VC’s wishes and let this go now.
Kel knows we will be here for her when she comes out the other side :)
 

Brasilgirl

Senior Rat Expert
Then I will just carry on bringing up my son and he will know I gave his dad a chance and it wasn’t my fault he doesn’t have a dad. Same as I’m doing with my other kids! But what if he does turn out to be a great dad to him and I denied that?? I’mdoing what I believe is the right thing to do.
Please don’t hang on to the ‘What if’s’. Just stay strong and independent. It’s not often that people with violent tendencies become good parents. Good parenting requires love and patience and positive encouragement.
As a parent, you know this. Just one of his violent outbursts and home wrecking bouts could cause permanent damage to you and/or your children. Everyone has their limit, and he does too.
If he does stay interested in his son, in a positive and encouraging way, then that is great. But please don’t live waiting for the proof. He has a harsh reputation to reverse. It’s not something that is done without extensive counselling and determination.
A dog doesn’t learn new tricks on his own.
And some dogs never learn.
Stay safe and take care.
 

Keldeanz

Active Member
To be honest guys im agreeing plz i love u guys but plz let kelly alone now plz she has the bb now . Shes right give him a chance he mighve changed for his wee boy im praying he has . Kelly be happy just get on with ur life i need to now . If it works out and i hope it does if it doesnt were all here anyway . Cats love yiz c u later im away for a while . No more thteafs from me about him it is what it is its done over x
Thank you
 

Mystery

Inactive
She thinks she is doing the best for her baby....I can’t knock this :)
My mother kept us from our real dad.....I’ve never forgiven her for it.
I do think we ought to follow VC’s wishes and let this go now.
Kel knows we will be here for her when she comes out the other side :)
All well and good,
The child's welfare is paramount and regardless of good intentions on Kelly's part.
The longer he is exposed to this abusive man it will affect his life in later years now you see him now you don't.
If his intentions is good he would get rid of his tunis bride and become a good husband and father.
I wish this for everyone but sadly the rats need are greater. 1 year 15 years they will do whatever they can to fuck us over.
 

Keldeanz

Active Member
I’m not stupid. I have other kids to my ex husband who was abusive to me. He hasn’t seen his kids in over 3yrs his choice and he won’t again as I know he is a risk and won’t give him anymore chances! Yes I’m giving nassim a chance but I’m not stupid that I’d let him let my son down and then give him another chance. If he does let him down that’s his only chance but if he does be there for him then that’s a good thing!
 

Keldeanz

Active Member
If this is the case why the hell is she allowing him in her home.
SS can provide safe places for contacts.
Because SS here have no problems with him and I’m not afraid of him. He hasn’t been violent to me. I’m comfortable with him in my home so why would I take my son somewhere else.
 

Mystery

Inactive
I’m not stupid. I have other kids to my ex husband who was abusive to me. He hasn’t seen his kids in over 3yrs his choice and he won’t again as I know he is a risk and won’t give him anymore chances! Yes I’m giving nassim a chance but I’m not stupid that I’d let him let my son down and then give him another chance. If he does let him down that’s his only chance but if he does be there for him then that’s a good thing!
To be honest he will be there for him while he needs to get his visa
If he's denied where do that leave your child.
You are in a bad position and I really hope for you and your child's sake he will turn his life around.
Wish you well.
18 years of hell put me in a position to know they can't change. Abuse is nothing for them.
 

Keldeanz

Active Member
Sorry to be brutal,
You are putting the needs of a abusive man and your needs first.
Why would any woman allow this abusive man in any of thier child's lives.
I am sorry to say this but you are putting yourself and your children in danger for a man who really is only wanting to stay in a country where he can bring his Tunisian bride.
You really are in delusion.
If a man is abusive he should never be near a child. And you the mother should put your children first not this visa hunting moron and let him get out of this country. You really need someone to step in for the sake of these children.
Obviously your needs is more important.
How sad..
You don’t know me or my kids!! My kids always come first, those who know me know this due to my ex! I’m not afraid of nassim neither are my kids! He was never violent to me. If he walks out my sons life then that’s his loss!! I’m a good mum and that’s all my kids will need! Your comments are nasty and uncalled for! I don’t need anyone to step in to keep my kids safe, I do a good job of that already!
 

MH007

Administrator
Staff member
Then I will just carry on bringing up my son and he will know I gave his dad a chance and it wasn’t my fault he doesn’t have a dad. Same as I’m doing with my other kids! But what if he does turn out to be a great dad to him and I denied that?? I’mdoing what I believe is the right thing to do.
Do what you need to do and if you believe it's the right thing I'm not going to tell you otherwise
Hope for the best but prepare for the worst.

MH xxx
 

Keldeanz

Active Member
To be honest he will be there for him while he needs to get his visa
If he's denied where do that leave your child.
You are in a bad position and I really hope for you and your child's sake he will turn his life around.
Wish you well.
18 years of hell put me in a position to know they can't change. Abuse is nothing for them.
Then that will be his choice. My other kids don’t have contact with their dad. That started off his choice and is now me protecting them, also police and SS saying it’s for the best! My kids know it’s not me just being against him for no reason and they are happy kids without him.
 

Mango Chutney

Moderator
Staff member
I’m not afraid of nassim neither are my kids! He was never violent to me.
He’s on his best behaviour right now, chick......he knew he was to be deported, he needs those papers to secure his future in Tunisia....and he knows little fella is the ONLY way he can now achieve this.

A violent man will not ever change, Kel. He will keep the mask on for now, as he needs those papers...but one day, that mask will 100% slip. He is who he is, a violent, scamming, visa hunting rat....he cannot and never will change.

Just keep you and your small people safe.....the rat will leave in his own time...I just hope the damage is not too great, and remember, in the UK, the law is on your side :)
 

Brasilgirl

Senior Rat Expert
Then that will be his choice. My other kids don’t have contact with their dad. That started off his choice and is now me protecting them, also police and SS saying it’s for the best! My kids know it’s not me just being against him for no reason and they are happy kids without him.
I really do think you should ask him to take some anger management courses. Do it now while he is working on his visa and is most agreeable. It could be what keeps him from becoming violent around your children. It does help some people and it can’t hurt his reputation with his history in your country. It only takes once for him to damage you and your kids. Do what you can to help him before it occurs.
I know you want this relationship with him and his son to work.
You and your kids have my prayers. Best wishes.
 

Femme Fatale

Inactive
Then that will be his choice. My other kids don’t have contact with their dad. That started off his choice and is now me protecting them, also police and SS saying it’s for the best! My kids know it’s not me just being against him for no reason and they are happy kids without him.
Youve explained yourself. I do wish you and your kids the best.

@Mango Chutney I think we need to get back focused on the rat. She know the deal and she knows the future. Can we go back to exposing him for the new victims he’ll be out there sticking his zib in? I’m sure he is doing it now. So we can focus on the newer victims.
 
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