Geezeeee

tutusandfrogs

Major Ratslayer
Tutus&frogs, you've come a long way. Are you still polyamorous?
I really wonder what your Tunisian husband thinks about it. Did you get married to the one that tatoed your name on his wrist?
Also, if you've become a muslima I really wonder how you combine polyamoury with your faith.
If I also have it right, your husband is very religious, he only wanted a muslim wife.
I really Don't know what to think about all this...
Hi Myriam,

I will answer honestly. When I decided to look inward to faith and become Muslima, I had to pray for the direction in my life. I cannot be a muslim and polyamorous. I work really hard on my relationship with my husband and I don't think of other men... I have stopped all contact with any other man. I don't want to get in to too much details - my husband did not know I was polyamorous but he knew of me talking to another/other men. It's not something he accepted. His patience paid off when I became Muslim at which time he really took the chance to ask me to be his wife. He takes Islam seriously... we didn't sleep together until we were married. Just to make it clear, we never had any sexual conversations and he always asked me to be decent - nothing low cut etc. Our relationship really changed after I became Muslim - but I changed. People around me noticed I've changed. I'm working hard on myself first and foremost and everyone around me benefits from this.

He is not the one who has to live with the regret of a tattoo.
 

tutusandfrogs

Major Ratslayer
Tutus&frogs, I've been thinking about you. If your Tunisian husband knows about your past as a polyamourous woman, he will never ever be the husband you think he is. Even if you became ten times a muslima. So he married you for other intentions, which will become very clear over time, but none of them will be good for you.
He sees and will always see you as a qahba (hooker), without morals and will play the game as long as it suits him and his family. Do you believe one second that his family would accept you if they knew about your past? No way. I hope they don't know, because if they do, you're over and out with.
You will get hurt very badly.
I tend to think that this becoming muslima story is just to try to forget your difficult past, have seen this syndrom a lot of times.
I hope not, because I love this man a great deal and I really truly believe he loves me too. If I'm wrong, I will be devastated but I'm going to take this chance... and really, I don't think after that I would accept any man in my life. If this happens, I'll share my story... and maybe the history behind it all would help a woman who is as smitten as I am, thinking her man is different. I'm not bring delusional, I know the risks involved based on the history of Tunisian men. I talked to a close friend about this today when I told them I really hope this is as real as it seems, because everything I ever read about tells me I'll end up discarded the same way. My friend told me to look at it from a different perspective if that happens... like any relationship breakdown.. you can replace possessions but you cannot replace your life. So, I'm going to trust in Allah's plan for me... hamdoulla for good and bad, because I believe there is a deeper meaning behind every lesson and trial. ❤
 

tutusandfrogs

Major Ratslayer
I am okay and no matter what I will be okay. I've had some incredible things happen (unrelated to my marriage/husband) that has helped me come to this conclusion. I really am a different person than I was 6 months ago... and I know I will continue to change and grow.
 

JGG

Major Ratslayer
I am okay and no matter what I will be okay. I've had some incredible things happen (unrelated to my marriage/husband) that has helped me come to this conclusion. I really am a different person than I was 6 months ago... and I know I will continue to change and grow.
That is what life is all about....changing and growing....Sometimes this journey doesn't make sense to others and sometimes it might not make sense to ourselves but for some reason we all must travel a path unknown to become better people. Journey well my friend and no matter the reason...I will always be here for you.♡
 

tutusandfrogs

Major Ratslayer
That is what life is all about....changing and growing....Sometimes this journey doesn't make sense to others and sometimes it might not make sense to ourselves but for some reason we all must travel a path unknown to become better people. Journey well my friend and no matter the reason...I will always be here for you.♡
Thank you, sweetness!
 

SouthernGirl

Major Ratslayer
That is what life is all about....changing and growing....Sometimes this journey doesn't make sense to others and sometimes it might not make sense to ourselves but for some reason we all must travel a path unknown to become better people. Journey well my friend and no matter the reason...I will always be here for you.♡
I couldn’t have said it better, JGG. I’m happy and I’m cheering for Tutusandfrogs.
 

ismail

Rat Expert
I hope not, because I love this man a great deal and I really truly believe he loves me too. If I'm wrong, I will be devastated but I'm going to take this chance... and really, I don't think after that I would accept any man in my life. If this happens, I'll share my story... and maybe the history behind it all would help a woman who is as smitten as I am, thinking her man is different. I'm not bring delusional, I know the risks involved based on the history of Tunisian men. I talked to a close friend about this today when I told them I really hope this is as real as it seems, because everything I ever read about tells me I'll end up discarded the same way. My friend told me to look at it from a different perspective if that happens... like any relationship breakdown.. you can replace possessions but you cannot replace your life. So, I'm going to trust in Allah's plan for me... hamdoulla for good and bad, because I believe there is a deeper meaning behind every lesson and trial. ❤
Well in my opinion, if he really takes his religion seriously as you said, you don't have to worry about anything. I know many tunisian friends who married muslim foreigners and living a good relationship.
Yet, it has a low probability that he is making all this but it's still a possibility. What i have to say to you is even things will turn out badly keep your trust in Allah because he never let down those who put trust in him.
 

simple

Major Ratslayer
I have had my doubts with this relationship ..i wont deny i found it all strange ,not because i thought he was a rat ,but because of your beliefs at the time and the speed in which it all happened ,,However i wish your happiness continues and i will support you should you need it ...
 

tutusandfrogs

Major Ratslayer
Well in my opinion, if he really takes his religion seriously as you said, you don't have to worry about anything. I know many tunisian friends who married muslim foreigners and living a good relationship.
Yet, it has a low probability that he is making all this but it's still a possibility. What i have to say to you is even things will turn out badly keep your trust in Allah because he never let down those who put trust in him.
Inchallah you're right. If I have no one, I have Allah. Hamdoulla for everything, good and bad. I trust in his plan for me. Even if in the end it means making me a better woman for someone else.
 

tutusandfrogs

Major Ratslayer
I have had my doubts with this relationship ..i wont deny i found it all strange ,not because i thought he was a rat ,but because of your beliefs at the time and the speed in which it all happened ,,However i wish your happiness continues and i will support you should you need it ...
I understand and respect how you came to your conclusion. I am surprised at myself as well. I am just trying my best to be a better person and follow something greater than me. I pushed him to get married fast. Thank you for being there in the future, if it comes to that.. it means a lot to me.
 
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