Genuine?

MH007

Administrator
Staff member
Thank you for your reply
To be fair to him he wanted to take me for dinner and coffee but I said no as I didn't want to leave the hotel so I asked him to walk on the beach he was reluctant but he wanted to spend time while not working with me so we could talk properly
Welcome to the forum @Sammysmith

Yes he's a rat - he is a hotel worker and should not be socialising with you. He is already showing all the signs.

You say he wanted to take you for dinner - trust me it would be paid for by you.

A little concerned that you quite rightly didn't want to leave the hotel yet you went in the dark to a deserted beach - you put yourself in danger.

Stop the contact now before he hooks you with his sweet words. Do you know they save texts to send to their "lady friends" it's all scripted and they share notes with each other, mock us and brag about how much we send them.

For your own sanity walk away and don't think what if - he isn't different.

MH x
 

MH007

Administrator
Staff member
Good morning
Yes I admit I did get mixed up in the romance of it all
But if you read further in my comments it's far from what I'm planning now
Iv done research and I'm very in the mind set I wouldn't move out there
But I will go visit and see how they really live and how they treat the woman
I still believe everyone deserves a chance but when than chance has been taken advantage off I will walk away
So maybe at the first stage he didn't have to put the work in but he certainly will putting alllllllthe work in now to prove himself

I'm not a stupid person and once the romantic view has passed I do look into things and to make a more informed judgement
So I may loose my head for a while but now my feet are on the floor and very grounded
I like to think the best of people.... Can't help it it's just the way I am and believe that all people are good haha not sure why tho as iv been burnt many times in the past with English men
That's just me tho and now I'm grounded I can see clear
I said the same - he might be different, I will go back to see.

Worst mistake ever - save your money and go to Greece.

MH x
 

Croydon girl

Well-Known Member
B
My point to that comment was it was my idea to go to the beech where I felt safe
As some comments where thinging why would he not take you out
I'm not saying you are all wrong.... Your all probably right after reading more things
But I'm just trying to understand the difference between someone in Tunisia and someone in England using someone for personal gains
Believe me iv met a lot of rats in England that I thought where genuine but then iv met others in England that haven't used anyone to gain
It's like a lucky dip anywhere in there world?
Believe me, Tunisian rats are a whole different ball game to blokes in England!
 
I get what your saying but once he's wrapped you around his fingers you will struggle to let go .
I spend the vast majority of my time in Tunisia and you are in for a culture shock .
A tunglish relationship is damn hard work with a huge amount of obstacles .
Trust me when I say he already knows he has you where he wants you .
You don't communicate often with him but you are still preparing to go back and visit him .
Why has he not got Facebook or what's app?
 

Croydon girl

Well-Known Member
I get what your saying but once he's wrapped you around his fingers you will struggle to let go .
I spend the vast majority of my time in Tunisia and you are in for a culture shock .
A tunglish relationship is damn hard work with a huge amount of obstacles .
Trust me when I say he already knows he has you where he wants you .
You don't communicate often with him but you are still preparing to go back and visit him .
Why has he not got Facebook or what's app?
I agree with you GFTL, they all have multiple facebooks and whatsapp! Linkedin that russian website VK! and god knows what else!
 

Sammysmith

Active Member
I get what your saying but once he's wrapped you around his fingers you will struggle to let go .
I spend the vast majority of my time in Tunisia and you are in for a culture shock .
A tunglish relationship is damn hard work with a huge amount of obstacles .
Trust me when I say he already knows he has you where he wants you .
You don't communicate often with him but you are still preparing to go back and visit him .
Why has he not got Facebook or what's app?
Hiya
I'm sure going over there for a week will be a huge culture shock I'm under no illusion it's going to be easy
I wouldn't say he's got me already.... In his mind he may think he has but all I have to do is block his number and carry on with live like I have many times before
But until he proves me wrong and gives me any reason not to go I will give him a chance
Your all probably shouting and rolling your eyes right now so I apologise
He only has a very old cheap phone he said he broke his other one with Internet before
He said he will get a new one now he's met me so we can use what's app and Facebook so time will tell if he gets a new one
So he probably is on fb but with no Internet can't log on
 

Sammysmith

Active Member
I love your posts Magic! You say it how it is! How many women say i look younger than i am! Ha!
Hi
I never said I know him well after 5?...14 days
As iv said on another post after the head in the clouds moment after my return my feet are on the floor and the excitement and dream of the possibility has faded of that dream of moving and having that ideal life that we all or have thought exists at some time in our lifes

Maybe I wrote is wrong about the age
He said I look younger than I am haha not sure I would say this about myself
 

Sammysmith

Active Member
You only need to know you are older and have children. A proper Tunisian man would never get involved with an older woman or with children from another man.
Hi missykate
Can I ask what you mean by a proper Tunisian man? Or are you meaning if they do get involved they are a rat?
Xx
 

Sabotage

Active Member
Hi missykate
Can I ask what you mean by a proper Tunisian man? Or are you meaning if they do get involved they are a rat?
Xx
A Tunisian man who is not a rat would never get involved with an older woman or a woman who has children from another man. Much less older and with children. This is completely socially unacceptable in Tunisia.

The only men getting involved with older women with children are rats because the women are a means to an end and not a serious love interest. Everyone in Tunisia knows this by the way. They may be friendly and nice, but they all know you’re a cash cow/visa machine/etc.

Tunisian acquaintances of mine told me that once there was a young rat walking on the street with his older, very overweight German victim. She slipped and fell. Everybody pretended to care, but what they actually said in Arabic were things like “oh no, there go your papers (your visa)!”.
 

Sammysmith

Active Member
A Tunisian man who is not a rat would never get involved with an older woman or a woman who has children from another man. Much less older and with children. This is completely socially unacceptable in Tunisia.

The only men getting involved with older women with children are rats because the women are a means to an end and not a serious love interest. Everyone in Tunisia knows this by the way. They may be friendly and nice, but they all know you’re a cash cow/visa machine/etc.

Tunisian acquaintances of mine told me that once there was a young rat walking on the street with his older, very overweight German victim. She slipped and fell. Everybody pretended to care, but what they actually said in Arabic were things like “oh no, there go your papers (your visa)!”.
Thank you for that and I totally understand what your saying

That's horrible what your friend told you it's so nasty poor woman

I get that they are looking for cash or a visa but do you think that it's possible for a Tunisian man to actually fall in love with someone even tho they started out with a different motive?

Not asking for me it's just a general question
Bad can turn good in most situations..... Not all situations
Xx
 

Big Bang Theory

Senior Rat Expert
The only thing I can suggest if not said already is to read up on the culture and learn the language. Do not rely on him to protect or guide you. You will not get the answers you seek whenever you ask him anything so take heed to what the ladies are saying here and protect yourself. Be careful and be safe.
And also join the expats groups on Facebook so you can meet up with other foreigners while you're there. It will be company for you while he's working and a chance to talk about life in tunisia for a foreigner. And, if the worst comes to the worst, you will have contacts to help you
 

Sammysmith

Active Member
And also join the expats groups on Facebook so you can meet up with other foreigners while you're there. It will be company for you while he's working and a chance to talk about life in tunisia for a foreigner. And, if the worst comes to the worst, you will have contacts to help you
Thank you and that's very helpful I will take a look and join the group
It's a great idea
 

Aldin

Active Member
Hello Sammy, I feel I can give you a couple of insights on the country. Anyone can get a new phone for free from service providers providing they pay for it monthly in small amounts that you could barely feel if you skip parties and smoking so that even the poorest guy can get his hands on a new smartphone. Generally, those who walk around with an old phone are not on their own but looking after a family to feed. It is also available for everyone to go to a café and connect to the internet from free-access computers paying only as long as you use so he could get a facebook account if he wanted so, that is if he already hasn't done it.

Kissing is another story. I kissed Europeans and Tunisians and the latter won't easily let a guy come close for weeks no matter how heated things get. He must know Tunisian girls won't reciprocate his advances and he surely knows damn well that Europeans would kiss on the first encounters which is a red flag that he has been doing that before you and you were not the first tourist he takes out.

Hope I helped
 

Judithlyn

Rat Expert
Hi he's 31 and I'm early 40's I have children but they are all over 13 years of age
Welcome to TLR! The answer is now proven....I’m so sorry but he’s a RAT! In Tunisian culture, it is NEVER accepted the age difference and especially that you have kids by another man. I’m so sorry but his goals are presents from you eventually, hopefully cash from you, and probably even marriage for a visa to the UK. They all think and operate exactly the same way. He definitely has many other tourists women tgats he’s grooming too! Such typical ratty behavior. You need to cut your losses before it goes deeper and you truly end up devastated. He will NEVER admit anything to you. They are such flatterers! Their families are in on this con game called Bezness. I stayed in the family home, just like another victim did only 1 and 1/2 months before me. That is not accepted in Tunisia either. Only Bezness families let unmarried women stay in their homes! They are vile, evil people! Please spare yourself from their nasty evil world and lives! My rat was not in the tourism industry, but most of the hotels employees are notorious rats! Good luck and big hugs!!
 

Judithlyn

Rat Expert
One more thing which you must consider if you insist on meeting this guy again.....your health! These creeps have sex with anybody and anything without using protection! They meet foreigners from all over the world which means diseases from all over the world might be festering in them! They truly think that all foreign women are “sex tourists” so they are happy to comply as it brings them hope of getting things eventually. Rats are very patient people. They will spend years “grooming” victims to accomplish their goals of goods, cash, and visas. They all same the same sentences....It’s actually hilarious to me now. They declare they don’t want visas....they are lying! ALL young men want visas away from Tunisia! They declare that they would never ask a woman for money.....again....more bulls**t from their lying lips. It starts off very subtle....sports shoes or new jeans to look good “for you, my love!” :D Mine even broke his phone in my house to prove he doesn’t need it....actually other victims were trying to reach him. He broke his phone to not get caught by me which would have been a declaration of war! They are evil and ruthless! They are such gifted con artists! Please do not stay in any apartment with him. It’s not safe and you can be arrested for prostitution. Unmarried men and women are forbidden to stay together. It’s illegal! Rats fail to disclose that to us! Their culture is Stone Age. They all swear that they and their families are so modern and liberal! More bulls**t from a rat’s mouth! They are old fashioned. Women are treated like crap.....Home maids, cooks, and to breed like rabbits! Big families are the thing over there. ALL Tunisian men want children. Sadly, the children they make in a foreign land usually end up with no love or support from him. Their goal....a Tunisian wife....often a first cousin, and full bloodied Tunisian children! Foreigners cash helps them achieve this goal! The cousin expects/demands a big wedding, gold jewelry, a house, and its furnishings! Pay sux in Tunisia so they use us foreigners for their goals. They see it as a business relationship only.....our cash to them and they give us older women lots of sex! They are prostitutes! Families are completely fine with their prostitute sons! No shame whatsoever! Behind the sunsets and beaches is an entirely different world! The corruption is horrible. It’s a closed currency country. You can take as much as you want into the country, but only a small amount back out. Do NOT invest in a business, house, or anything there. You will lose it all! Please rethink your trip in November. Your heart will end up crushed. I don’t want to see you devastated like myself and many others were! It’s hard recovering from them! Keep reading!!!!
 

Etoyoc

Administrator
Staff member
Age difference to me it's not an issue for me and I asked him about the age difference
He said it didn't matter as I look young for my age
Marriages with men who are more than 2-3 years younger than their wives, are theoretically possible, but are in reality not to be found and are socially regarded as negative.
Many women defend themselves by saying "I look young for my age" - but this is a self-illusion, because in reality, it has no relevance whatsoever. The lover would accept women of all ages for the price of a visa to a western country or for gifts and other advantages.
I know his parents have an olive farm somewhere so maybe his family have money?!?!
Many families have "olive farms" there, usually consisting of like 10 or 20 trees and yielding about 1-2 months of living costs. IF the family had money, he would _not_ work for a referral fee (he gets a small percentage of every trip he books).

Sorry, but...

[ ] Eager Beaver
[X] Common Rat
[ ] White Swan
 

Etoyoc

Administrator
Staff member
do you think that it's possible for a Tunisian man to actually fall in love with someone even tho they started out with a different motive?
No, this is not possible after a few days or weeks. The concept of "love" as a romantic state does not exist in this society (neither for men or women). What does exist, though, is the saying "When we marry, then Allah will bring us love".
 

Sammysmith

Active Member
Welcome to TLR! The answer is now proven....I’m so sorry but he’s a RAT! In Tunisian culture, it is NEVER accepted the age difference and especially that you have kids by another man. I’m so sorry but his goals are presents from you eventually, hopefully cash from you, and probably even marriage for a visa to the UK. They all think and operate exactly the same way. He definitely has many other tourists women tgats he’s grooming too! Such typical ratty behavior. You need to cut your losses before it goes deeper and you truly end up devastated. He will NEVER admit anything to you. They are such flatterers! Their families are in on this con game called Bezness. I stayed in the family home, just like another victim did only 1 and 1/2 months before me. That is not accepted in Tunisia either. Only Bezness families let unmarried women stay in their homes! They are vile, evil people! Please spare yourself from their nasty evil world and lives! My rat was not in the tourism industry, but most of the hotels employees are notorious rats! Good luck and big hugs!!
Good morning
Thank you for your reply
I have certainly learned from my questions on here
And its great to know people are helping and trying there best for you
Iv done lots of research now and read a lot about Tunisia culture and men ect it doesn't make a great read at all
Xx
 

Sammysmith

Active Member
No, this is not possible after a few days or weeks. The concept of "love" as a romantic state does not exist in this society (neither for men or women). What does exist, though, is the saying "When we marry, then Allah will bring us love".
Wow its such a different world isn't it, my eyes have been well and truly opened by comments
I don't understand how people could live in this way no matter where they are in the world
Thank you
Xx
 

Brasilgirl

Senior Rat Expert
Hiya
I'm sure going over there for a week will be a huge culture shock I'm under no illusion it's going to be easy
I wouldn't say he's got me already.... In his mind he may think he has but all I have to do is block his number and carry on with live like I have many times before
But until he proves me wrong and gives me any reason not to go I will give him a chance
Your all probably shouting and rolling your eyes right now so I apologise
He only has a very old cheap phone he said he broke his other one with Internet before
He said he will get a new one now he's met me so we can use what's app and Facebook so time will tell if he gets a new one
So he probably is on fb but with no Internet can't log on
I think they all have cheap broken phones. Lol.
I think it is a hint for you to offer him a new phone.
But seriously, do not consider yourself safe if he doesn’t ask for money. Not all do. If they are in for a visa they will not ask for things. The relationship has to look real for the visa.
I would be more concerned about you. Your heart breaks in a way that does not heal easily when a rat scams you. You realize yours is not different and it was all a lie on his part. You lose self esteem, trust, and the pain is very real. It is not a typical break up! They brainwash you and become the perfect man for you.
Do be careful because recovering from a rat is a hard roller coaster ride that changes you inside. It sounds crazy, I know, I wouldn’t believe it but it happened to me. Tunisia has a 98% divorce rate for marriages of Tunisians to foreigners. So only 2% will make it past the first few years. The statistics are real.
So please think about this.
 

Amira

Rat Expert
But for now I'm happy with nipping over to Tunisia to see him
Have nothing against Tunisia but not tired apartment with him alone. Rent hotel rooms alone and in a hotel you are safe if something should happen. I'm not negative but you should think security. Like to think the best about people but what do you really know about him? There are also love rat in Europe that is true and they are just as bad. Use women for sex and money yes you have heard enough stories about them but do not become one of these women. Be skeptical. Tunisia also has lots of good things to offer on good food cheap tours that you can join but this is the black side BEZNESS
 

Etoyoc

Administrator
Staff member
I don't understand how people could live in this way no matter where they are in the world
And the very same will people, who live in a different society (and sometimes even in another part of town), say about us and our way of life. Now, who is right and who claims for oneself the ultimate, universal truth?

The real problem, the real challenge, is, to understand that "our" world is the product of "our" philosophical and moral convictions and we, being western, are, not by numbers, but by economic power, currently on the determining side of history.
 

MH007

Administrator
Staff member
And the very same will people, who live in a different society (and sometimes even in another part of town), say about us and our way of life. Now, who is right and who claims for oneself the ultimate, universal truth?

The real problem, the real challenge, is, to understand that "our" world is the product of "our" philosophical and moral convictions and we, being western, are, not by numbers, but by economic power, currently on the determining side of history.
I guess it's all relative and comes down to culture.

We are lucky that in the Western world we have freedom. On the flip side we cannot, generally, stay home and raise our children like we once could.

I dont know what's right and wrong but scamming and cheating is wrong.

My rat had a good job - earned enough to provide a home for his wife and allowed her to stay home with them.

I had to go back to work when my son was 6 weeks old.

I only wish I had the luxury of staying home with my son.

Yes life is tough there but crikey life is tough here too.

MH x
 

Horn-Mad Rat

Inactive
I need to disagree with this. There are many rats who don't give a hoot, they try with everyone they can.
I absolutely, definitely did not want a relationship of any sort when I met my rat. He was smart (I hate to say), he sensed my lack of interest and so he drew me in with friendship over a number of months.
There are also a number of victims here who initiatly were married or engaged but the rats still took the time to woo them.
Now I live in Tunisia and, true, I don't get hassled so much, because I've learnt not to make eye contact etc But I do still get hassled a fair deal despite the fact that I'm respectful and courtious and clearly not interested.
I was not addressing the issue of Romance scam.
I was trying to shatter her misconception that rats think all foreigners are sex tourists which is not true!
Nevertheless, I agree with you! Some rats have solid game !
 

Laura2014

Moderator
Staff member
I searched American women with Arabic men and this site came up. I knew nothing about bezness but was curious why a self proclaimed devout Muslim would be interested in a divorced Catholic woman. I think I first read Visa journey and some site with a mans name Daniel .
www.danielpipies.org

It’s a very useful site and blog about Romance Scams in general but a lot about cross cultural relationships.
 
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