Help advice

Apples

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Joined
Sep 30, 2018
Messages
1,144
 :D:D:D:D:D
Too much kisses and hearts in their chats with everyone. omg! Its so bizarre like things you look in movies like the borgias a very long time ago. I cant believe all this. And they dont really look creapy they even look serious and with taste and educated. Its like a horror movie. Total psychopaths. Im sorry for everything you all have been tru. I got out just in time. Im glad you are ok. If anyone needs anything for me to contact your embassys here or anything please dont doubt in reaching out.
You found out just in time. You would not believe what a horror movie Tunisia is. It’s like some movie where you don’t know who you can trust because everyone including the police are in on the conspiracy. You step off the plane and you travel back in time.
My former rat played the same games by blocking me and then unblocking me . He said he missed me, he forgave me for whatever I supposedly did.
I spent way too much time trying to figure out what I did wrong and eventually I figured it out,my mistake was ever getting involved with a rat .
You don’t need him,he’s just testing you to see how far you will go for him and what you will do for him.
 

Bostons

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Joined
Dec 29, 2016
Messages
930
My Arab RAT'S favorite thing to do was do hang out with his friends all day in their underwear smoking cigs and watching soccer games on the foreign cable shows ( not working or doing SHIT ) . They'd all vacate when I'd get home and they'd head off to the bath house's for "massages" ... I was young and naïve. I found out much later that these bath houses are places for men to go to have discreet gay sex! I was so stupid!

I remember once in our old apartment we had a small bathroom in the back that we never used. It was off another bedroom. I remember smelling something nasty for weeks and couldn't figure it out until I FINALLY went in that bathroom to check it out. The toilet had leftover "jesus juice" and sticky tissues all over the floor and the sink! I was disgusted! I just could never understand the hygiene issue! I stopped having sex with him shortly there after. I was afraid of what I might catch!
 

Discovery

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Joined
Apr 14, 2015
Messages
146
Mine was too shy to send stuff like that, and maybe that should've been a red flag, in and of itself! Hahaha. Like why ISN'T my rat sending his masturbation videos??? Maybe there's something wrong, he has so many gay looking friends??? Houston, maybe there's a problem in Rat Kingdom, this one doesn't share naked photos! Gosh, hindsight is 20-20 or even 20-15!

I refused to share photos/videos, too, so we kept things serious and focused on "real" stuff, but it was still just a big game, and he's still just a player... blah. Waste of time.
Really, a shy rat?!
 

Apples

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Joined
Sep 30, 2018
Messages
1,144
Well, I told him I didn't want the B.S. and I was also religious! So, I kept things strict, I told him I understood enough what THEY SAY about Islam, to know that I was not going to be cutting any corners, or sharing naked photos... I even made him speak to my family, and everything. He went down the whole line to scam me, it was incredible. But, once we were married, the jig was up, he started pushing HARD for the immigration. So, basically, he was willing to scam and scam and play the game and scam, but the immigration paperwork was the end game. It's really crazy how far they're willing to go to get out of Tunisia!
It is just shocking what they will do to leave that hellhole. They should get off their lazy tails and out of the cafe and go pick up all that trash thrown around. They should improve their own country and stop trying to destroy everyone else.
 

Apples

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Sep 30, 2018
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1,144
They don't care who you are, at all. Like, it doesn't matter what religion, what behavior, what anything. They see themselves as PERFECT and entitled to take their hate and aggression out on everyone outside of their religion. But, honestly, I think they would do this to Muslim women from democratic countries, too -- I know they do that, too! So, honestly, it doesn't matter, man, woman, religion, color, anything. They want OUT of their country, bottom line.
It’s because they don’t see us as human beings just infidel whores.
My rat bitch ex said I was his property.
Fakest mofos I’ve ever met in my life. A herd of robots.
 

Apples

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Sep 30, 2018
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1,144
Still, even to this very minute, mine doesn't have himself listed as married on Facebook even though we are, have been, will still be for an indefinite about of time. I told him I want to divorce, I've told him everything that I think about him and rat bezness, and he's STILL saying come back to Tunisia, trying to tell me that it's all in my head, that he doesn't want to leave his country anymore, and we can live in Tunisia, etc. etc. But, that's his whole game. He says, "I don't want to immigrate." Then, one week later, it's non-stop immigration, and bullying, and bad behavior, and aggressiveness, and criticism, and him basically doing whatever he wants, maybe adding women on Facebook, speaking to me like I'm the devil and responsible for all of his life problems, but as soon as I run.... he's like, I love you, etc. etc. I'm even afraid of his Tunisian life plan, because I know that will include other mutually invested life things, like a home, which he can just randomly decide to divorce and take half of or more, later. There is no winning with a rat. They don't care, they just want to win.
They win a fake virgin and in the process destroy someone else’s life. I don’t know how they live with that. I don’t know how they sleep but the lazy bastards sleep very well.
I hope you get completely rid of that freak soon.
 

AmberHeart

Lady Amberheart of Gafsa
Joined
Jul 13, 2018
Messages
4,586
Still, even to this very minute, mine doesn't have himself listed as married on Facebook even though we are, have been, will still be for an indefinite about of time. I told him I want to divorce, I've told him everything that I think about him and rat bezness, and he's STILL saying come back to Tunisia, trying to tell me that it's all in my head, that he doesn't want to leave his country anymore, and we can live in Tunisia, etc. etc. But, that's his whole game. He says, "I don't want to immigrate." Then, one week later, it's non-stop immigration, and bullying, and bad behavior, and aggressiveness, and criticism, and him basically doing whatever he wants, maybe adding women on Facebook, speaking to me like I'm the devil and responsible for all of his life problems, but as soon as I run.... he's like, I love you, etc. etc. I'm even afraid of his Tunisian life plan, because I know that will include other mutually invested life things, like a home, which he can just randomly decide to divorce and take half of or more, later. There is no winning with a rat. They don't care, they just want to win.
Men take more on a divorce and children are his responsibility. Investing in Tunisia means a loss by default. Aside of migration, he is abusive and aggression always increases. How to sustain a relationship under that condition. Unless it’s a sadomasochistic agreed situation. Fortunately you have a clear mind of what you need and what you are not willing to allow. Xx
 

AmberHeart

Lady Amberheart of Gafsa
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Jul 13, 2018
Messages
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Good point, Amber. You caught me downplaying the aggressiveness. It's funny how that's so easy... to try to normalize everything, when it's not normal.
In other countries you call 911 and police is right there, they protect the victim. But in Tunisia they even bully the victim saying this is a domestic situation solve it with your husband... imagine that!
 

AmberHeart

Lady Amberheart of Gafsa
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Jul 13, 2018
Messages
4,586
Adding the fact his family won’t support you, we have many examples how they back up little Prince Charming into every move he makes. It’s literal a woman becomes her husband property, and he has the right over her in all means. This is why it’s dangerous to sustain a relationship with them when they clearly have other intentions. It isn’t love, they abuse openly covered by their culture and costumes. And we are expecting only love, we need to define what is love. I used to have a pink palette for love, after rat I see it very differently, need a lot more from a man than only “I love you(s)”
 

AmberHeart

Lady Amberheart of Gafsa
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Jul 13, 2018
Messages
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@Jisela you are a very intelligent woman with an objective discernment capacity, certainly there is a lot to heal but not everything will be clarified, these men are complicated and their mentality works differently, sometimes archaic, sometimes Machiavellic.. bottom line incompatible. They aren’t men that have good intentions nor open to dialogue/problem solvers.
 

AmberHeart

Lady Amberheart of Gafsa
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Jul 13, 2018
Messages
4,586
Yeah, it's true. You're lucky if you can leave the house. If I described how it all worked, it would freak you out. To put it simply, you are allowed to leave the house, but you should really not do it a lot. And, you are allowed to go somewhere, but again, you should not do it a lot. Make sure to ask first, or say it. You are allowed to have friends, but not really, and maybe it will cause problems. You are allowed to speak with your family, but not really, because it will cause problems.

At the beginning of the day, until the end of the day, you have your basic routine, you wait for him to wake up, you hope he doesn't hate you today, or is in a bad mood. You hope he will help you get something that you need to get. You hope he will have some energy to give you, because you have been waiting for it, for so long. Then, you see him perk up to run out the door -- maybe he's going to see a friend, or go to coffee to look at women, and you want to crush everything to pieces, because somehow he tricked you to live in the prison, to take responsibility for it, while he can always be more free than you -- and it's worse when you were BORN free.
Indeed, they paint a cute image of “living toghether, women are valued as jewls, the beach is so beautiful and the coast like any Mediterranean style “ lots of beautiful words we want to hear, but their actions are other world, a wake up call.
 

Mystery

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Aug 17, 2018
Messages
1,842
Indeed, they paint a cute image of “living toghether, women are valued as jewls, the beach is so beautiful and the coast like any Mediterranean style “ lots of beautiful words we want to hear, but their actions are other world, a wake up call.
Believe me they treat the women of the family like shit to. They are so afraid of these men that they have to back him up.
In some ways we got it easy, we got out can you imagine if these women went against rat their lives would be more hell. I had witnessed his family crying and shaking when he kicked off even they grabbed me into a bedroom and locked the door. They were hugging me absolutely terrified I didn't understand fully.
If I packed my suitcase after one of million arguments his family would cry and beg me to stay. I stayed only for them, I was sorry I had to run and leave them. I believed they acted the way they did out of being pushed into it by rat.
On another level there was his two faced sister and sister-in-law the one he was shagging.
And the one stealing my money.
He did beat his sisterinlaw because she hurt my daughter. But nothing to his so called sister when she beat her 3 year old daughter like a man would beat another. Omg I hate that I was a part of all of this. Ashamed of myself for even getting involved with a sick twisted bastard.
 

Anika

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Joined
Oct 28, 2018
Messages
57
And, what's sad, is I'm a pretty adaptable person, which makes me a perfect target, I guess. But, I thought of every SINGLE way to try to protect myself in the long term, with him. But, no matter how it's organized, or what the protections are, they can and will do anything, and you will lose. Believe me, I really racked my brain trying to think of a way to disarm this whole rat bezness. But, as the women and potential mother, we can only lose. Even when and if they see us as human beings, we will still not be worth any more than what they see Tunisian women as - and they can always hold open the door for more wives and divorce, etc. There are no real protections here for women, even if the laws are strict. You have to prove they did something, and even then, hope that the police or government will help you when you're not Tunisian.
Are you still with him?
 

Mango Chutney

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Aug 29, 2015
Messages
11,735
Yeah, it's true. You're lucky if you can leave the house. If I described how it all worked, it would freak you out. To put it simply, you are allowed to leave the house, but you should really not do it a lot. And, you are allowed to go somewhere, but again, you should not do it a lot. Make sure to ask first, or say it. You are allowed to have friends, but not really, and maybe it will cause problems. You are allowed to speak with your family, but not really, because it will cause problems.

At the beginning of the day, until the end of the day, you have your basic routine, you wait for him to wake up, you hope he doesn't hate you today, or is in a bad mood. You hope he will help you get something that you need to get. You hope he will have some energy to give you, because you have been waiting for it, for so long. Then, you see him perk up to run out the door -- maybe he's going to see a friend, or go to coffee to look at women, and you want to crush everything to pieces, because somehow he tricked you to live in the prison, to take responsibility for it, while he can always be more free than you -- and it's worse when you were BORN free.
I was not allowed to leave the house. I was only allowed out with a family chaperone (usually him), as and when he decided this was allowed.
His brother used to often sneak me out for walks late at night, when rat went to work without me, just to stretch my legs....but after getting stopped, checked and then followed by the police on one walk, with rat constantly phoning, even this little treat was stopped.
Ultimately, the curfew was put in place after the terrorist attack on Tunis....so none of us could go out after 8/9pm.
When I was allowed out....he decided where, when, what I was to wear....and I was to look at the ground....no eye contact....and I was to "STOP taking so many f*cking photos!' :D

I was not allowed to make friends, only his friends....and then you run the risk of being beaten for flirting. My friends back home were slowly removed from my life.
I was allowed to speak to my family with his go ahead, but he used to turn the internet on and off during phone calls etc....he controlled duration of time etc. Extended family, like cousins....they were deleted from my life.

I used to watch real life through the bars on my prison cell windows. I cried a whole lot. He slept a whole lot.
A life of control I find very difficult to describe....and no life for a Western woman raised with freedoms.
 
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