Hi I'm new here

Laura2014

Moderator
Staff member
[email protected] neonnurse. Firstly, I’m glad you found us so early in the relationship. So you met him, and after a couple of weeks he’s talking about the future and marriage. He must sound like a gift. But I’m afraid he will be a gift that keeps receiving. He may seem mature and you may look younger. There are already so many reasons to cut him off now.

He wants you to go back and rent a house. Yikes, I guess he didn’t tell you that it’s illegal for you to stay in a house with him. He will tell you it’s not a problem, it is. Beyond the chance you will be shopped to the police by someone there you could also be arrested for prostitution.

It’s absolutely not done for him to stay with you. He wants you to hurry back, of course he does. You have a child, that’s a no in his culture. Your child would never be accepted by him or his family. He wants you married, of course my love you can stay with me here in Tunisia, I don’t want to live in Europe, why I go there I love my family. You are my family now. Then immediately the deal is done then the visa request is next. I’m truly sorry but as nice as he sounds he is looking for a potential way out of Tunisia. You approached him, he must have thought he died and went to heaven.
 

Heidi

Inactive
Hi I've just joined this site and have been looking through the brilliant advice on here.

I don't know whether or not I have a rat, I'm keeping an open mind for now and being wary. I searched on here and haven't found him which I guess is good.

So i went to Tunisia for the 1st time last week. I actually approached the guy (he's a waiter) as I found him attractive and he asked me out for coffee. We went for coffee, kissed, nothing more. He invited me to his house 'to talk' I said no because nice girls don't do that
We swapped numbers and I went home 2 days later and we have been messaging and video calling every day since.

For context I am 34 with a 14yo child. He knew about my son already but didn't realise my age because I genuinely look a lot younger than I am, even in the UK people think I'm mid 20s.
He is 23 and thought I was 28 until I told him my age.

He talks a lot about the future and marriage and children etc. Is this normal for a Tunisian?
I read online that they don't really 'do' dating and look straight to long term commitment.

He hasn't asked for money (yet) and if he does then I will cut contact. We have talked about his family, my family and have conversations that I would expect to have with a British man at this stage bar the marriage/children stuff.
His English is excellent. He really is good looking, I'm really attracted to him and I'm enjoying whatever this 'relationship' is.

I've got my head screwed on. He wants me to go back out asap and he will rent us a home as he lives in a shared house but I've told him that I will stay in a hotel so I have somewhere to go if things go wrong.

I don't know whether or not this is the real deal yet but I'm so glad I've found this site to keep my feet on the ground.
Welcome, Neonnurse :)
It's not normal for a 23 year old Tunisian to date a 34 year old woman with a 14 year old son
It's not normal for a Tunisian to talk about future and marriage and children after one week
It's not normal for a Tunisian to invited you to his house 'to talk (unless he thinks that you are a whore)
It's not normal for a Tunisian to rent a home if you are not married

You approached a rat, I'm sorry to say
 

Heidi

Inactive
Thankyou Laura.
I didn't want to be one of those people that end up saying 'my man isn't like that' when he is. I thought it was odd that he wasn't bothered about my son, most British men in their 30s would run a mile from a 14yo, so a 23yo Tunisian accepting it just seemed wrong.

This guy is so so lovely so I wondered if he was going for the subtle approach.
I've not no funds to go back this year as I'm going to center parcs instead
I'm going to keep this 'relationship' going though then I can keep updating on here with his next steps and it might be useful to other women, especially because he's not blatantly asking for money and is saying all the right things.
This guy is not lovely! He insulted you in the worst way by asking you to share an apartment with him.
You went out for coffee with him. Before or after sundown?
There is no need to keep the farce going. We heard it all. It's better for you to end it right now
 

Laura2014

Moderator
Staff member
Thankyou Laura.
I didn't want to be one of those people that end up saying 'my man isn't like that' when he is. I thought it was odd that he wasn't bothered about my son, most British men in their 30s would run a mile from a 14yo, so a 23yo Tunisian accepting it just seemed wrong.

This guy is so so lovely so I wondered if he was going for the subtle approach.
I've not no funds to go back this year as I'm going to center parcs instead
I'm going to keep this 'relationship' going though then I can keep updating on here with his next steps and it might be useful to other women, especially because he's not blatantly asking for money and is saying all the right things.
@Neonnurse , please be careful. Stronger and more resilient women have said the same here many times, ta da, meet one! You think you have it all under control, watching next his steps, but somehow they get into your head. You begin to accept the ratty behaviour because you know what it is. You almost begin to expect it and become desensitised to it.

To give you an example; there are women here who met a rat, went through hell but found another rat and went through hell again.

We all thought we had it under control. The good morning, good night and just random messages become addictive. Whatever you do and he will eventually ask, never do any intimate photos. These will be shared with his friends, and used to threaten you later. That nice young man you met could become your worst nightmare. If you really want to carry on, and I sorely hope you don’t, then secure every bit of your social media. Hide all friends and family. Never like or comment on his posts. Be untraceable and lock all photos, never let him know your sons name or social media.

You may this this is over cautious. Believe me it’s not.
 

Laura2014

Moderator
Staff member
Thankyou both for giving me some perspective.
You are right, it would be easy to get sucked in. He pays me lots of compliments which is just what I want after my ex (British) treated me so bad.
In the end you will end up with two teenage boys! That’s more than any sane person needs. At 23, he’s a boy. His only life experience is hotel work and meeting tourists. Does anyone need a partner like that?

We haven’t even got on to their yummy habits yet.
 

Brasilgirl

Senior Rat Expert
Thankyou both for giving me some perspective.
You are right, it would be easy to get sucked in. He pays me lots of compliments which is just what I want after my ex (British) treated me so bad.
I am glad you found this site in time!
It is so easy to get sucked in by a rat.
If you keep talking to him, he will be your perfect man. He will learn what you like and he will slowly brainwash you. You will beleive he is the man of your dreams.
It is dangerous to play his game.
 

Mango Chutney

Moderator
Staff member
Oh dear.....you found yourself a rat, my lovely :D
I’ll be back later (I’m busy right now) but this little boy is a big rat.....Christ, he must have thought all his birthdays had come at once when you approached him, saving him the effort.

For the record, and I’ve written it many a time.....rat don’t care if you look like a supermodel or a jacket potato, he cares what your nationality looks like and your bank account.
I swear if I sent my guinea pig over with a Union Jack flag and a few dinar.....they’d fish her too :rolleyes:

Rats mostly say we look younger....we actually look our ages...this is a fishing line to erase any doubt we have about the age gap.
Also, Tunisian woman ages a decade overnight once married...and I’m not surprised! The stress of my rat has made me look positively antique! Tunisian people age badly, so to them, we may perhaps look younger, but in reality..this is not the case.

Welcome to the forum :love:
 

Mango Chutney

Moderator
Staff member
Thanks Mango.

To be fair I actually do look younger, I was hoping this would continue but clearly it won't if I get involved with a rat.

Just out of interest, what is the deal with the rat's family. Are they all in on the scam or does the rat hide his western habibi from his family?
Well if you wanna hang onto those youthful looks, then yeah.....kick the rat to the kerb, else this time next year....you’re gonna look like a nursing home special :thumbsup:
I currently resemble the walking dead :eek:

If the family meet you, let you live with them, or have contact with you on social media.....they are complicit.
Shocks the crap outta me! What kind of people pimp their sons body out for a handbag and a pair of flip flops? It’s not freakin normal!
What sort of young lad sells his body to a woman a decade his senior for a visa?
These pimps and prostitutes are embarrassing!!

I’d lock my boys in the airing cupboard with a bowl of water before I played a part in this dirty scam. I mean seriously.....can you even imagine pimping your little lad out? It’s gross :sick:
 

Mystery

Inactive
Thanks Mango.

To be fair I actually do look younger, I was hoping this would continue but clearly it won't if I get involved with a rat.

Just out of interest, what is the deal with the rat's family. Are they all in on the scam or does the rat hide his western habibi from his family?
Hi

The family will be in on it. They will be telling what to do next. They will feed you love you but they are playing the rat game.
I will put it like this you are not a cousin, a virgin
Older have a child already.
Don't matter what you look like.
You have a uk passport.
The dream for most of them.
Go to a Tunisian website and post your passport.
You will have plenty of north African men all wanting to marry you.
My wife my wife haha
Seriously even the immigration in uk would question this relationship. You had fun with him say bye bye. Good luck :eek:
 

Judithlyn

Rat Expert
Welcome, Neonnurse :)
It's not normal for a 23 year old Tunisian to date a 34 year old woman with a 14 year old son
It's not normal for a Tunisian to talk about future and marriage and children after one week
It's not normal for a Tunisian to invited you to his house 'to talk (unless he thinks that you are a whore)
It's not normal for a Tunisian to rent a home if you are not married

You approached a rat, I'm sorry to say
Absolutely spot on! You have a real, true rat! @Neonnurse Dump him! I guarantee you that he is also charming other women while charming you! An older woman, especially with a child from another man is NOT accepted in his Stone Age country! I’m sorry, but run! Continuing to talk to him will only hurt you far more! Trust me! Trust us who have fallen for these creeps, lived with these creeps, and found out that our guy was just like all the rats in Tunisia! It’s an acceptable con game there, but not for you....for a visa to your country and whatever cash and presents you will give him! Sorry but he will hurt you even worse!
 

Judithlyn

Rat Expert
Thanks Mango.

To be fair I actually do look younger, I was hoping this would continue but clearly it won't if I get involved with a rat.

Just out of interest, what is the deal with the rat's family. Are they all in on the scam or does the rat hide his western habibi from his family?
I was with a freaking rat for 3 and 1/2 years. The entire family welcomed me into their home, fed me, bought me lots of presents, Dad was a retired school administrator, lots of teachers and even a doctor in the immediate family. I know them all, and my rat is one of the worst of the worst in ratland! It shocked me so badly! I also look much younger than my age. I have no children. I thought it was so real! I was so wrong! I lost $26,000 to him plus another year of devastation and a broken heart. We lived together! He had other women as backups in case I fell through. Ironically, he lost another long term victim along with me on the same day. His other victim was killed in a car crash. She really loved him! He felt absolutely nothing over her death. That was a huge red flag to me. Immigration caused him to have to leave my house.... on that same day! The very next month, he met a friend to his other victim. We were still a couple! He was proposing marriage to her even though they had never met in person! It was all for a visa and cash to the USA! He’s a monster. Abdelhak Rahali! Listed prominently on here! I’ve found 19 victims so far! I’m sure there are numerous others! He is so soooo charming and so full of lies! He’s so cheap and disgusting that I personally think that he should have a health warning on his forehead now! He lives like a hooker! It’s disgusting! Run! Get away from that creep! They are also violent! They are serious dangerous threats!
 

Judithlyn

Rat Expert
She went to him Judith.
I'm sure he was flashing his brown eyes and smiling though.
I'm really angry that someone so young would even suggest to get an appartment.
To put her in a position of being arrested in a foreign country for prostitution.
How the heck is he going to regester her with the police ?. Crazy rat
I know! They do not care about us or our safety! They only use and abuse for anything they can get!!!
 

Judithlyn

Rat Expert
Well, I have no shame in admitting I now resemble a shrivelled up prune :p

Rat are not good for our appearances :D
They do take their toll on us, but look at them! :mad:I get great joy in knowing that he looks far older than his actual age and ages at the rate of about 3.5 years per half year! :thumbsup:His teeth are more like a great grandfather’s though, but you know rats....can’t afford dentures or implants unless a victim pays!!!:Disnt that just wonderful???:p
:D
 
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