There are many stages in the life cycle of a relationship with a Rat.
The initial Love Bombing, all warm and fuzzy.
The doubt creeps in and you begin searching, checking and finally find yourself here on TLR
The rationalising, defending, excusing, hoping maybe yours will be the one in 100 to be genuine.
Then the realisation, despite all the love you feel, the dependance that's developed that you have to let go....
Some are lucky, their Rat has already turned, changed, become moody, less available and less interested. Moved on to a better offer.
But for others the prospect of abruptly ending something that feels so good, fulfills a need and is still warm and fuzzy feels unthinkable. It's like giving away a big box of chocolates you want so much but you know is really bad for you.
It's more than willpower, it's a life changing decision because you have to face the reality that something you really liked, loved and wanted so much is not good for you and which will probably break you in the end has to go.
The realisation that the long term consequences outweigh the current warm and fuzzy.
You will see the words Block and Delete here a lot. In the end it's the only way. To keep the door open is like keeping the box of chocolates in the house, the temptation is too great. There will be a down day to come when that box of chocolates is just too inviting, too easy to open and hard to resist.
Giving up something that feels so good is very very hard. Only you can do it but sometimes we all need help.
TLR is like a weight watchers class, always there to keep you on the straight and narrow. To bring you back when you falter. No one will judge you, everyone has a shared experience, not exactly the same but with the same emotions and feelings and the same outcome.
Bursting your own bubble is hard. It takes courage to let them go, to resist the begging and pleading and protestations of "I'm different" I'm not the same, I'm a good guy, my heart is good or white even. I love you, I will take care if you".
Filling the void which used to be full of good morning my love messages, good night sweetie, how are you my love, soon we will be together talk is very tough.
I've noticed that the recovery time is about a year or eighteen months. Members become here active and giving support but gradually come here less and less as they return to some kind of normal life again but they still 'touch base' drop in to lend a word of comfort or advice.
Day one is the hardest, it's the longest day of your life, day 7, 14, 21, soon it's a month, three months.
There are periods when you falter, curiosity, or just missing someone pretending to care about you but it's like returning to a healthy diet the rewards are greater in the end if you resist.
So taking a pin to the Love Bubble is very very tough but probably the best thing you will ever do for yourself.
