How to find out if some one is ratting on me

mira

Active Member
Joined
Dec 22, 2018
Messages
38
Hi lovely ladies,
I read this site and my mouth fell open several times cz of the horrible things people can do to another person! But it was also an eye opener for me. Now I have a burning question. I need to find out if a certain person is ratting on me but I am too scared to put his name out in the open here yet, cz he might be well reading this. Is there any other way, like a pm to certain members (who by the way are very good in digging up horrible details of persons I already saw!) to do some digging? I am still a bit in the stage of what if he is not lying, call it denial.But I don´t want to ruin somebody by posting his name in the open, if there is no reason, although I fear there is plenty of reason. I think he is lying, but I need comfirmation.I did some searching myself, but can only find one fb profile, several instagram accounts and a skype account all under the name I know and with nothing really strange things on it. So is there a way to help?
 
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Mango Chutney

Moderator
Joined
Aug 29, 2015
Messages
11,436
Hi lovely ladies,
I read this site and my mouth fell open several times cz of the horrible things people can do to another person! But it was also an eye opener for me. Now I have a burning question. I need to find out if a certain person is ratting on me but I am too scared to put his name out in the open here yet, cz he might be well reading this. Is there any other way, like a pm to certain members (who by the way are very good in digging up horrible details of persons I already saw!) to do some digging? I am still a bit in the stage of what if he is not lying, call it denial.But I don´t want to ruin somebody by posting his name in the open, if there is no reason, although I fear there i plenty of reason. I think he is lying, but I need comfirmation.I did some searching myself, but can only find one fb profile, several instagram accounts and a skype account all under the name I know and with nothing really strange things on it. So is there a way to help?
Hey Mira.....welcome :)
I am happy you have decided to have this man looked into.
Sometimes, it's hard to find proof....some of these rats hide themselves well now.....but knowing they are a rat can also be determined by behaviours.
Some of the obvious ratty behaviours can be seen here on Laura's thread:
https://www.tunisianloverats.com/threads/if-its-your-first-time-here-read-this.4344/
Others can be seen in how his behaviour flys in the face of his culture, for example: Asking for money from a woman, introducing the family online etc...
Will send pm :)
 

Arkady

Well-Known Member
Joined
Nov 24, 2018
Messages
418
Hi lovely ladies,
I read this site and my mouth fell open several times cz of the horrible things people can do to another person! But it was also an eye opener for me. Now I have a burning question. I need to find out if a certain person is ratting on me but I am too scared to put his name out in the open here yet, cz he might be well reading this. Is there any other way, like a pm to certain members (who by the way are very good in digging up horrible details of persons I already saw!) to do some digging? I am still a bit in the stage of what if he is not lying, call it denial.But I don´t want to ruin somebody by posting his name in the open, if there is no reason, although I fear there i plenty of reason. I think he is lying, but I need comfirmation.I did some searching myself, but can only find one fb profile, several instagram accounts and a skype account all under the name I know and with nothing really strange things on it. So is there a way to help?
Check to see if he is in the gallery. Also I believe that you can Google his name. It should pop up. Check with Heidi on this site. She is very good at uncovering information. There is an envelope in the upper right of this screen if you want to message her privately.
 

Amira

Well-Known Member
Joined
Aug 5, 2014
Messages
3,063
It is difficult to find out if he is honest or if he is a scammer especially if he has done this for a long time but if he has several facebook accounts or is on different dating sites or has several exs then this is a bad sign. Look for the signals and see how he behaves if you say something he doesn't like (if he reacts with anger) if you find out something about him
 

mira

Active Member
Joined
Dec 22, 2018
Messages
38
Thanks ladies, I already read a lot here and I can tell you it is not feeling good. I sent pm´s to Heidi and Mango Chutney. I have to wait a bit for their research. Feel a lot better since I posted online. Will give some more details later. Thanks a lot!
 

Amira

Well-Known Member
Joined
Aug 5, 2014
Messages
3,063
Thanks ladies, I already read a lot here and I can tell you it is not feeling good. I sent pm´s to Heidi and Mango Chutney. I have to wait a bit for their research. Feel a lot better since I posted online. Will give some more details later. Thanks a lot!
Take the answer you get in with a smile if negative things come up about him
 

Brasilgirl

Well-Known Member
Joined
Feb 28, 2018
Messages
2,513
Welcome Mira. I am so sorry you have been stung by a rat. In the end, your gut instincts were right. There is only so much a rat can do to cloud the senses of a smart woman!
It is best for you to use the no contact rule.
Block him everywhere. Screen your calls, and if it’s not a problem, deactivate your social media accounts, temporarily to start. For Facebook select the other option so there is no time limit.
Take care of yourself and feel free to vent your frustrations and feelings here, or by PM. ** hugs **
 

Laura2014

Moderator
Joined
Nov 10, 2014
Messages
3,820
Thanks ladies, I already read a lot here and I can tell you it is not feeling good. I sent pm´s to Heidi and Mango Chutney. I have to wait a bit for their research. Feel a lot better since I posted online. Will give some more details later. Thanks a lot!
Welcome @mira, When sending PM’s be careful as lots of members have similar names. I think there are three or four laura’s and three Heidi’s.
 

Snuggle

Well-Known Member
Joined
Dec 22, 2017
Messages
365
It is impossible to create a life with someone you cannot trust and it only creates uncertainty for yourself.
This is so true I lived in uncertainty and mistrust too long, I lost myself in my relationship with my rat. It’s so difficult to love myself again and to get my self esteem back. Never had such a hard time in my life than ending my relationship with this rat. It was easier to battle cancer.
 

Amira

Well-Known Member
Joined
Aug 5, 2014
Messages
3,063
This is so true I lived in uncertainty and mistrust too long, I lost myself in my relationship with my rat. It’s so difficult to love myself again and to get my self esteem back. Never had such a hard time in my life than ending my relationship with this rat. It was easier to battle cancer.
You try to endure as well as you can and accept the other party but what is the point of living in a relationship where you are always met with surprises. Their culture is different from ours but in relationships one has to take and give and try to align one another and they have trouble understanding because their women are not allowed to open up their mouths that are just accepting and that is difficult
 

mira

Active Member
Joined
Dec 22, 2018
Messages
38
Yes, thank you so much Mango Chutney and Heidi for all your help. I am bit overwhelmed at this moment by everything and have to let all the information digest. Tomorrow I will give more details here. For now thank you all for your kind and helpful words!
 

AmberHeart

Lady Amberheart of Gafsa
Joined
Jul 13, 2018
Messages
4,417
This is so true I lived in uncertainty and mistrust too long, I lost myself in my relationship with my rat. It’s so difficult to love myself again and to get my self esteem back. Never had such a hard time in my life than ending my relationship with this rat. It was easier to battle cancer.
totally agree with you @Snuggle xx
 

Arkady

Well-Known Member
Joined
Nov 24, 2018
Messages
418
totally agree with you @Snuggle xx[/QUO
Yes, thank you so much Mango Chutney and Heidi for all your help. I am bit overwhelmed at this moment by everything and have to let all the information digest. Tomorrow I will give more details here. For now thank you all for your kind and helpful words!
go easy on yourself. Only thing you did was fall for someone who didn’t deserve you.
 

Arkady

Well-Known Member
Joined
Nov 24, 2018
Messages
418
Yes, thank you so much Mango Chutney and Heidi for all your help. I am bit overwhelmed at this moment by everything and have to let all the information digest. Tomorrow I will give more details here. For now thank you all for your kind and helpful words!
One more thing. Be sure you put him in the gallery of shame. If he’s tried it on you, he’ll try it on others. Let’s throw a spanner in the works.
 
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