I am Canadian need advice on obtaining a divorce from Tunisian

yougogirl75

Junior Rat Expert
Hello,
I was hesitant in coming on here for fear of looking stupid. I already feel abused and i don't feel like having any critics. I know I made a bad choice can anyone tell me if they know of any international lawyers that deal with divorce, I got married in July 2017 after knowing him 4 years., I live in Canada he lives over there in Tunisia. The emotional abuse, the nasty messages, the profiles that I know about, the crazy-making you know and the pics on an old profile with gay men I saved everything. Please advise , thanks.
 

Laura2014

Moderator
Staff member
Hello,
I was hesitant in coming on here for fear of looking stupid. I already feel abused and i don't feel like having any critics. I know I made a bad choice can anyone tell me if they know of any international lawyers that deal with divorce, I got married in July 2017 after knowing him 4 years., I live in Canada he lives over there in Tunisia. The emotional abuse, the nasty messages, the profiles that I know about, the crazy-making you know and the pics on an old profile with gay men I saved everything. Please advise , thanks.
Hello and welcome. No one will make you feel stupid or criticise you here.

Was your marriage registered in your own country?
 

yougogirl75

Junior Rat Expert
No it was not, I had used the marriage contract here for income tax and contacted the landlord about him joining me but that is not going to happen so now I have to sign an affidavit to say I am separated because I cannot get his signature. I am not going through with the sponsorship neither
I did not change my name, it was not registered in the Canadian embassy.
 

yougogirl75

Junior Rat Expert
He calls me helpless and an old lady yet i am quite vibrant and young, and then goes on to say that i have no income when I do have qualifying income. It is him that has no work experience, no travel history and no bank account, lives with his parents and then criticizes me for not being quick enough to bring him over on a spousal visa , I only got married 4 months ago, what I am worried about that it is a muslim contract in front of a judge and he may try to find a way to make me pay alimony, but I am the real injured party here.He is 45 years old not a young chicken like these other tunisian rats, even though some of them are rats at least they had jobs or some things this one has nothing, his sister and brother give him. I am wondering maybe he cannot work because of a criminal past, because he is perfectly capable of working.
 
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Laura2014

Moderator
Staff member
Sorry Laura I did not use reply I have two postsabove to explain everything
You are in the right place for supirt and information. There will be others on the site later including people from Canada and the USA who may have more knowledge and info.

There are members here from Canada. I’m at work at the moment so limited opportunity to research your question. Stay around and people will answer.
 

yougogirl75

Junior Rat Expert
You are in the right place for supirt and information. There will be others on the site later including people from Canada and the USA who may have more knowledge and info.

There are members here from Canada. I’m at work at the moment so limited opportunity to research your question. Stay around and people will answer.
Thanks so much Laura!
 

Mango Chutney

Moderator
Staff member
Hey, Yougogirl...welcome to TLR!! :) What a positive avatar name, I love it!
Now I'm not Canadian and I didn't marry my rat, so I won't pretend I have any understanding at all of the legalities....but just wanted to say hello and welcome :)
Hello,
I was hesitant in coming on here for fear of looking stupid.
With regards to this, YOU ARE NOT STUPID!! No survivor of a rat would ever judge you as so.
Sure, we get rats on here, the odd groupie and troll, some judgemental people with nasty mouths that never had a rat and don't understand, but you know what.....just ignore them!
These following quotes, they do not sound like the actions of a stupid person to me. In fact, they sound downright sensible! :love:
can anyone tell me if they know of any international lawyers that deal with divorce
I saved everything.
I am not going through with the sponsorship
I did not change my name
it was not registered in the Canadian embassy.
Never let anybody call you stupid! You even waited four years before marriage and didn't hurry to marry a stranger!
He calls me helpless and an old lady
Balls to him, ignore his pathetic words! He is hardly in a position to judge anybody, he is a prostitute that sold his body for a visa :Evil:
I hope somebody here can point you in the right direction with the legalities, but with regards to emotional support and a good sounding board for your concerns etc...you will get that in abundance here :)
 

yougogirl75

Junior Rat Expert
Hey, Yougogirl...welcome to TLR!! :) What a positive avatar name, I love it!
Now I'm not Canadian and I didn't marry my rat, so I won't pretend I have any understanding at all of the legalities....but just wanted to say hello and welcome :)

With regards to this, YOU ARE NOT STUPID!! No survivor of a rat would ever judge you as so.
Sure, we get rats on here, the odd groupie and troll, some judgemental people with nasty mouths that never had a rat and don't understand, but you know what.....just ignore them!
These following quotes, they do not sound like the actions of a stupid person to me. In fact, they sound downright sensible! :love:





Never let anybody call you stupid! You even waited four years before marriage and didn't hurry to marry a stranger!

Balls to him, ignore his pathetic words! He is hardly in a position to judge anybody, he is a prostitute that sold his body for a visa :Evil:
I hope somebody here can point you in the right direction with the legalities, but with regards to emotional support and a good sounding board for your concerns etc...you will get that in abundance here :)
Yes, they seem to know the system and how it works inside and out. He would go through his families emails through facebook and it would be almost perfect english which I know the family does not speak well. I know its him but it is hilarious how he thinks he is so smart. I am looking on the internet and I found one lawyer in Sousse but I think I should let him wait for it. I have kept my maiden name, I thought that was smart except for marrying him. Another thing I noticed about this one is he would be so romantic and change into a monster because if one thing got out of line or was not going his way he would tell me the worst things ever. Narcissistic answering his own profile telling himself he is handsome from another profile with a different name yet the same person. He would say something and then turn it around the next day or deflect off his own issues. I feel abused not physically its a mental and emotional hell. I am seeing a counsellor soon it has affected me.
 

Mango Chutney

Moderator
Staff member
Yes, they seem to know the system and how it works inside and out. He would go through his families emails through facebook and it would be almost perfect english which I know the family does not speak well. I know its him but it is hilarious how he thinks he is so smart. I am looking on the internet and I found one lawyer in Sousse but I think I should let him wait for it. I have kept my maiden name, I thought that was smart except for marrying him. Another thing I noticed about this one is he would be so romantic and change into a monster because if one thing got out of line or was not going his way he would tell me the worst things ever. Narcissistic answering his own profile telling himself he is handsome from another profile with a different name yet the same person. He would say something and then turn it around the next day or deflect off his own issues. I feel abused not physically its a mental and emotional hell. I am seeing a counsellor soon it has affected me.
A counsellor is a very wise move, nobody leaves a relationship with a narcissist without some deep, emotional wounds.
It has been pointed out to me twice on here by not very nice people that I refer to my own story with others and that I shouldn't do it, however, I absolutely refuse to listen to them, as personally, I think it's a massive help to new survivors to see that other people fell for the same stuff, that rat behaviour is repetitive and regurgitated.

I believe that new survivors will realise that they are not stupid when they see that thousands of men and women from all around the globe of various ages, shapes, colours, religions, levels of education etc have all been trapped in the web of a narcissist and believed the same lies. These people are professional con men with no souls, their vile scam comes easy to them and destroys us.

My rat also used other family accounts to write stuff. At the time, I didn't realise, but after a while....my eyes opened because like your rats family ....my rats family had only pigeon English. Now, in fact, even last night, I picked messages from his brother to pieces and realised....it was not his brother at all!

They know the system inside out because they all help each other in FB groups, actually...we haven't long had an example of one of these groups posted on another thread!
They know the immigration stuff (legal and illegal) inside out, they know our benefits systems inside out, they know exactly where to get hold of every document, (genuine or fake)....because successful rats abroad help them with hints and tips within these groups. Bezness is a career to these people....they have swatted up well. I know stuff about my own country and legal loopholes that I had no idea existed before rat....I daresay you do too!!

The mood changes in an instant is a regular rat trait when things are not going their way, they get downright spiteful! They are pampered mummies boys, they believe they are better than us, they are controlling, manipulative narcissists. If I disagreed with my rat, didn't do what he wanted, he'd give me the silent treatment (very awkward when you live with them), start calling me names and eventually....assault me. These creatures are vile, they are like nothing I have ever known in my life!

Mine used to turn the tables when he messed up, suddenly it was all my fault because of this, this and this. This is typical narcissist behaviour and it's incredibly effective! It takes the focus away from their misdeeds and makes us look like the villain.....it messes with your dang head!
Narcissistic answering his own profile telling himself he is handsome from another profile with a different name yet the same person.
I'll admit, I didn't see this behaviour.....and I can't stop laughing!! :D How vain! They just beggar belief :eek:

You're on the right path now, it's time for your healing process to begin, this is where us with no knowledge of the legalities come in handy....we can offer support as you approach your destination: Recovery :)
 

Mango Chutney

Moderator
Staff member
When you have the time, Yougogirl, have a read of our Liona's thread, I think you will benefit from it :)
https://www.tunisianloverats.com/posts/250180/

Also, I joined groups on FB for survivors of narcissists and found them very supportive and comforting....it's such a relief to be amongst people here on TLR and within narcissist survivor groups that understand, because no matter how hard they try...nobody that hasn't suffered it will ever understand!
You will come out the other side, but you will never be the you that you used to be....you will be stronger, more cynical, less trusting...these new character traits can be positive and negative.
I hate how suspicious I am of everyone since rat, but I like my newfound strength in speaking out, so I guess it's how you view the new you that matters :)
 

yougogirl75

Junior Rat Expert
When you have the time, Yougogirl, have a read of our Liona's thread, I think you will benefit from it :)
https://www.tunisianloverats.com/posts/250180/

Also, I joined groups on FB for survivors of narcissists and found them very supportive and comforting....it's such a relief to be amongst people here on TLR and within narcissist survivor groups that understand, because no matter how hard they try...nobody that hasn't suffered it will ever understand!
You will come out the other side, but you will never be the you that you used to be....you will be stronger, more cynical, less trusting...these new character traits can be positive and negative.
I hate how suspicious I am of everyone since rat, but I like my newfound strength in speaking out, so I guess it's how you view the new you that matters :)
Thanks Mango , I watched all the videos I found it all supportive, I found strength in this group today!
 

Big Bang Theory

Senior Rat Expert
He calls me helpless and an old lady yet i am quite vibrant and young, and then goes on to say that i have no income when I do have qualifying income. It is him that has no work experience, no travel history and no bank account, lives with his parents and then criticizes me for not being quick enough to bring him over on a spousal visa , I only got married 4 months ago, what I am worried about that it is a muslim contract in front of a judge and he may try to find a way to make me pay alimony, but I am the real injured party here.He is 45 years old not a young chicken like these other tunisian rats, even though some of them are rats at least they had jobs or some things this one has nothing, his sister and brother give him. I am wondering maybe he cannot work because of a criminal past, because he is perfectly capable of working.
It will be impossible for him to claim alimony from you while he is in Tunisia and you are in Canada. Even if a Tunisian court granted him alimony (which isn't easy for him to do), a Tunisian court order has no bearing in any other country so it couldn't be enforced unless you went to live in Tunisia.

No it was not, I had used the marriage contract here for income tax and contacted the landlord about him joining me but that is not going to happen so now I have to sign an affidavit to say I am separated because I cannot get his signature. I am not going through with the sponsorship neither
I did not change my name, it was not registered in the Canadian embassy.
It may have automatically been registered with the Canadian embassy (I believe this is now the case with the UK embassy) butt I'm not sure how you check this ??

Unless you want to marry again I would leave him to sweat and sort our the divorce himself - He is the one who needs it most because he will be desperate to marry his next visa victim.
But make sure you have written a legally binding will, because if you haven't your estate automatically goes to your next of kin (under UK law, this is your spouse first, above your children or other relatives so it's probably the same in Canada) and it doesn't matter which country your next of kin lives in, without a will they still inherit your entire estate.

If you definitely want to divorce, your Embassy should have a list of English speaking lawyers you can contact who can act for you without you needing to visit Tunisia - The only reason you might need to go to Tunisia is if you have any assets there (house, bank account, car etc...) and you need to claim your right to them.
It is much cheaper to employ a Tunisian lawyer than to try to find a Canadian lawyer to act internationally and who understands Tunisian law, which would cost a fortune - I know someone who had a straightforward, uncontested divorce using a Tunisian lawyer which only cost her about 800dinar (about 400 Canadian $)
But read this thread first http://www.tunisianloverats.com/threads/tunisian-lawyers-from-hell-ezzedine-ben-amor.345/page-2#post-16831 It is scary to know that even lawyers can be con men but forewarned is forearmed. Call/email a few if you can to find out their charges so that you will be able to judge if you are getting ripped off or not.
 

gem15

Junior Rat Expert
It will be impossible for him to claim alimony from you while he is in Tunisia and you are in Canada. Even if a Tunisian court granted him alimony (which isn't easy for him to do), a Tunisian court order has no bearing in any other country so it couldn't be enforced unless you went to live in Tunisia.



It may have automatically been registered with the Canadian embassy (I believe this is now the case with the UK embassy) butt I'm not sure how you check this ??

Unless you want to marry again I would leave him to sweat and sort our the divorce himself - He is the one who needs it most because he will be desperate to marry his next visa victim.
But make sure you have written a legally binding will, because if you haven't your estate automatically goes to your next of kin (under UK law, this is your spouse first, above your children or other relatives so it's probably the same in Canada) and it doesn't matter which country your next of kin lives in, without a will they still inherit your entire estate.

If you definitely want to divorce, your Embassy should have a list of English speaking lawyers you can contact who can act for you without you needing to visit Tunisia - The only reason you might need to go to Tunisia is if you have any assets there (house, bank account, car etc...) and you need to claim your right to them.
It is much cheaper to employ a Tunisian lawyer than to try to find a Canadian lawyer to act internationally and who understands Tunisian law, which would cost a fortune - I know someone who had a straightforward, uncontested divorce using a Tunisian lawyer which only cost her about 800dinar (about 400 Canadian $)
But read this thread first http://www.tunisianloverats.com/threads/tunisian-lawyers-from-hell-ezzedine-ben-amor.345/page-2#post-16831 It is scary to know that even lawyers can be con men but forewarned is forearmed. Call/email a few if you can to find out their charges so that you will be able to judge if you are getting ripped off or not.
It's not automatically registered with the British embassy. That costs money and them doing it automatically would mean they loose out in funds, and we all know how they love the ££££.

I totally agree in leaving him to divorce you if you have no future plans to marry again.
 

Big Bang Theory

Senior Rat Expert
It's not automatically registered with the British embassy. That costs money and them doing it automatically would mean they loose out in funds, and we all know how they love the ££££.

I totally agree in leaving him to divorce you if you have no future plans to marry again.
I read somewhere that it had changed a year of so ago, but I'm not 100% sure :(
.
 

yougogirl75

Junior Rat Expert
A lot of these Rats have bad backgrounds that make the average Tunisians cringe. No one in their own country hires them or marries them.
Yes, I think so too. His parents tried to marry him (engagement party)off to the neighbour's daughters a few times and marriage did not happen. Of course I find this out after the fact. As well he tried with a cousin and she said she is too young for him and they refused so definitely something there that's not quite right. He said that his sister would have married him off to the neighbour if we did not get married and we all know that Tunisian parents make sure that the man can provide and that was that. He is trying to rush saying other couples are getting their visas quicker very desperate right now don't know why maybe he got kicked out of his parent's house or they don't want him there blah blah blah
 
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yougogirl75

Junior Rat Expert
It will be impossible for him to claim alimony from you while he is in Tunisia and you are in Canada. Even if a Tunisian court granted him alimony (which isn't easy for him to do), a Tunisian court order has no bearing in any other country so it couldn't be enforced unless you went to live in Tunisia.

Thank you for letting me know about the alimony, thank God for that. I definitely will change my will, my older brother is the executor of the will and he will make sure everything is looked after.

It may have automatically been registered with the Canadian embassy (I believe this is now the case with the UK embassy) butt I'm not sure how you check this ??

Unless you want to marry again I would leave him to sweat and sort our the divorce himself - He is the one who needs it most because he will be desperate to marry his next visa victim.
But make sure you have written a legally binding will, because if you haven't your estate automatically goes to your next of kin (under UK law, this is your spouse first, above your children or other relatives so it's probably the same in Canada) and it doesn't matter which country your next of kin lives in, without a will they still inherit your entire estate.

If you definitely want to divorce, your Embassy should have a list of English speaking lawyers you can contact who can act for you without you needing to visit Tunisia - The only reason you might need to go to Tunisia is if you have any assets there (house, bank account, car etc...) and you need to claim your right to them.
It is much cheaper to employ a Tunisian lawyer than to try to find a Canadian lawyer to act internationally and who understands Tunisian law, which would cost a fortune - I know someone who had a straightforward, uncontested divorce using a Tunisian lawyer which only cost her about 800dinar (about 400 Canadian $)
But read this thread first http://www.tunisianloverats.com/threads/tunisian-lawyers-from-hell-ezzedine-ben-amor.345/page-2#post-16831 It is scary to know that even lawyers can be con men but forewarned is forearmed. Call/email a few if you can to find out their charges so that you will be able to judge if you are getting ripped off or not.
 

yougogirl75

Junior Rat Expert
I have no assets or houses there, I would not do that anyways because I would invest in my own country, I hear of a law in tunisia that lets the husband take the house whatever it is, it is a primitive law and way behind the times.
 

yougogirl75

Junior Rat Expert
I had a forewarning two weeks before he started with his brown substance again, I had a dream of going into a house with burnt ashes and embers on the ground and woman came up from behind me and told me to be careful and watch my back, and I had this awful feeling in the pit of my stomach that he had done something to someone and this woman was protecting me and telling be to get out that I could be next. I know dreams may not mean anything but this was so surreal. I actually felt sick and then I knew, I just knew, that this screwy relationship was going to end.
 

BrownGirl

Moderator And Queen of Summaries
I had a forewarning two weeks before he started with his brown substance again, I had a dream of going into a house with burnt ashes and embers on the ground and woman came up from behind me and told me to be careful and watch my back, and I had this awful feeling in the pit of my stomach that he had done something to someone and this woman was protecting me and telling be to get out that I could be next. I know dreams may not mean anything but this was so surreal. I actually felt sick and then I knew, I just knew, that this screwy relationship was going to end.
That was your subconscious. You already knew deep down something was wrong, just took a bit of courage to admit it to yourself xx
 

Meteorite

Junior Rat Expert
I refused to do anything. He soon found someone else he wanted to marry. I simply wrote a letter to his lawyer saying I agreed to divorce no strings had it notarised then sent to out FCO to be legalised then scanned to Tunisian lawyer. Within weeks I had my divorce. Sit it out he will pay soon enough xxxx
 

yougogirl75

Junior Rat Expert
I refused to do anything. He soon found someone else he wanted to marry. I simply wrote a letter to his lawyer saying I agreed to divorce no strings had it notarised then sent to out FCO to be legalised then scanned to Tunisian lawyer. Within weeks I had my divorce. Sit it out he will pay soon enough xxxx
Well that is what I am going to do just wait until he finds someone else to marry because I already put so much into the relationship that I forgot myself. I think he is desperate to leave as soon as he can so i am sure he is looking for someone else, he completely erased all evidence of me on his facebook so I think he is getting ready to look elsewhere, the last thing he said was that he would be looking for someone to live with him there and I just said so in other words you need a Tunisian and then I hung up the phone
 

Meteorite

Junior Rat Expert
Well that is what I am going to do just wait until he finds someone else to marry because I already put so much into the relationship that I forgot myself. I think he is desperate to leave as soon as he can so i am sure he is looking for someone else, he completely erased all evidence of me on his facebook so I think he is getting ready to look elsewhere, the last thing he said was that he would be looking for someone to live with him there and I just said so in other words you need a Tunisian and then I hung up the phone
Good girl concentrate on yourself! Fuck him he can't ever marry again without that divorce. However....you can xx
 
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