“I don’t like girls from my country. Prophet Mohammed married a much older woman. I’m atheist”

Starstylist

Junior Rat Expert
First, I want to address the common excuse “I don’t want a Tunisian/Moroccan/Egyptian/Algerian/whatever girl. They are gold diggers and only care about material things.”

Short answer is yes they do! If they say otherwise and aren’t well travelled and socialized with western cultures, this is likely a big lie. Why? Because these cultures are all about status. They are probably not marriage material in their country but with a permanent residency in a wealthier nation, they can become ideal candidates for marriage. Marriage is not looked at the way it is in western cultures. It is a union of two families not just two people. The mentality is very different. A man gets respect from marrying a Muslim woman who is a virgin and comes from a good family. Children are expected as a way to seal the marriage and carry on the family name. A man actually has the right to ask for a divorce if he suspects his wife is not a virgin (no blood on the sheets) and if she doesn’t get pregnant. This is how he feels like a real man! In order to get a wife from his culture, he must go through screening from the woman’s father and brothers usually and show he has a house and money to provide for his new family. He must also pay a mahr, which may seem outdated to us westerners, but it shows he is serious in his culture. A mahr is like a dowry. It’s easy for us westerners to look down on this because we perceive it as buying a wife. This is not how they see it though. It is very important to keep this in mind. We are accustomed to working and paying for things so it’s easy to brush this off when he asks for money. If he wouldn’t do it with a woman from his country, he absolutely should not be doing it with you.

“Prophet Mohammed married Khadijah who was in her 40s, divorced, and had three children.”

Yes he did. Khadijah was a successful businesswoman too. He also married a 6 year old named Aisha. I absolutely don’t condone marrying a child, but as far as the first wife, keep in mind, it was a different time back then and the world was very different. This absolutely does not justify marrying and scamming an older woman. The prophet isn’t known for scamming Khadijah so why should a Muslim man do it? Don’t let anyone use religion as an excuse to justify using someone or to fool you into going against his social norms. He is not prophet Mohammed first of all, and second you deserve the same respect a virgin woman from his culture deserves.

The last one, “I used to be Muslim but I’m atheist/Christian/Jewish now”

He will probably say this to women who aren't crazy about Islam. This is really only believable is he’s been raised in or has been living in Europe/America/Canada/UK for a long time. Religion is indoctrinated from birth to these cultures. There isn’t a separation of church and state like America. Even if they aren’t practicing Muslims, the culture, habits, and mentality is still founded on Islamic values. Even if it’s true, being open about renouncing Islam can get him in trouble so he will likely act Muslim around his family and friends.

A genuine man will probably never say these things so be aware if you hear them. They are probably lies.
 

Tania

Active Member
First, I want to address the common excuse “I don’t want a Tunisian/Moroccan/Egyptian/Algerian/whatever girl. They are gold diggers and only care about material things.”

Short answer is yes they do! If they say otherwise and aren’t well travelled and socialized with western cultures, this is likely a big lie. Why? Because these cultures are all about status. They are probably not marriage material in their country but with a permanent residency in a wealthier nation, they can become ideal candidates for marriage. Marriage is not looked at the way it is in western cultures. It is a union of two families not just two people. The mentality is very different. A man gets respect from marrying a Muslim woman who is a virgin and comes from a good family. Children are expected as a way to seal the marriage and carry on the family name. A man actually has the right to ask for a divorce if he suspects his wife is not a virgin (no blood on the sheets) and if she doesn’t get pregnant. This is how he feels like a real man! In order to get a wife from his culture, he must go through screening from the woman’s father and brothers usually and show he has a house and money to provide for his new family. He must also pay a mahr, which may seem outdated to us westerners, but it shows he is serious in his culture. A mahr is like a dowry. It’s easy for us westerners to look down on this because we perceive it as buying a wife. This is not how they see it though. It is very important to keep this in mind. We are accustomed to working and paying for things so it’s easy to brush this off when he asks for money. If he wouldn’t do it with a woman from his country, he absolutely should not be doing it with you.

“Prophet Mohammed married Khadijah who was in her 40s, divorced, and had three children.”

Yes he did. Khadijah was a successful businesswoman too. He also married a 6 year old named Aisha. I absolutely don’t condone marrying a child, but as far as the first wife, keep in mind, it was a different time back then and the world was very different. This absolutely does not justify marrying and scamming an older woman. The prophet isn’t known for scamming Khadijah so why should a Muslim man do it? Don’t let anyone use religion as an excuse to justify using someone or to fool you into going against his social norms. He is not prophet Mohammed first of all, and second you deserve the same respect a virgin woman from his culture deserves.

The last one, “I used to be Muslim but I’m atheist/Christian/Jewish now”

He will probably say this to women who aren't crazy about Islam. This is really only believable is he’s been raised in or has been living in Europe/America/Canada/UK for a long time. Religion is indoctrinated from birth to these cultures. There isn’t a separation of church and state like America. Even if they aren’t practicing Muslims, the culture, habits, and mentality is still founded on Islamic values. Even if it’s true, being open about renouncing Islam can get him in trouble so he will likely act Muslim around his family and friends.

A genuine man will probably never say these things so be aware if you hear them. They are probably lies.
So accurate..!!!!!!
 

Starstylist

Junior Rat Expert
I don’t think Mohammed met Khadijah in a bar, on Facebook, dating apps, on vacation, through a friend, etc so it is just ridiculous to compare the prophets marriage to themselves. Different time and completely different circumstances. I remember the first time I heard this when he tried to explain marrying his much older wife who brought him over. This was when he was trying to convince me he did love her at one time and didn’t use her to come here. He said they met in France through work. He finally admitted to using her over a year later and that he actually met her in an online chat room through a friend that gave him her information. Him and his best friend were laughing and making nasty jokes about her as they got high.
 
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