"I hate Tunisian women"...

C

catgirl

Guest
....I heard that phrase many times during my last two weeks holiday in the Sousse/Skanes Region by Tunisian man.

I returned back home last Saturday and when I find the time, I will write a detailled report for you.
This place is a cage full of fools!

Tunisian men hate Tunisian women, as they say, because they are smoking and drinking and making party and screwing around...so all the stuff Tunisian men do themselves.
Isnt that STUPID?

Apart from that, Tunsi-Man thinks, that you wont find any female virgin in Tunisia.

Plus the ladies over there are far to materialistic and the guys over there say, that a Tunisian man will not be loved for himself by a Tunisian woman, only for the materialistic stuff they can / could offer her.
The guys opinions are: Only European women love the men for themselves.

What do you think about that "opinion" of Tunsi-Men?
 
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marylou

Guest
what a load of crap they love there own woman and thats what they want at the end of the day to marry a nice tunisian woman and have many babys.... its the european woman they think of as slags and dirty woman only going there to have sex with loads ove men coz we carnt get men in out country we are just bitches to them.... after all they go on with all the shity ratty ways so one day they will have anuff of our money to set up a nice home with there tunie wife..... they only love european woman for what we can offer them......
 
M

Mona1

Guest
Not all Tunisian men want Tunisian women, just as not all European women want European men. Just as they are different to us, so are we to them.

Most Tunisian women expect a man to provide more than the normal worker can ever hope to afford. The man has to be able to provide somewhere for the bride to live, all the presents and jewellery that tradition prescribes must be given and a job that can support his wife and children. A European woman does not expect the same. She is willing (as it is our culture) to share the costs 50/50. Not all Tunisian women think like this, either, just as each and everyone of us is unique.

Never heard that there are no virgins left in Tunisia and never heard this from any Tunisian man - you must have found some right numpties. I do know that sex before marriage is becoming more usual but the woman often gets herself "repaired" before she gets married (so I have heard!).

SOME Tunisian men see Europeans as described by Marylou but not all. Some European behave that way, sadly.

Those that say all this sound to me as if they are protesting too much as I have never heard any of these things from any of the Tunisian men with whom we are friendly and certainly never from family members.
 
M

Mona1

Guest
I like this post, very balanced indeed :) And I have one question - most Tunisian women expect a man to provide more than the normal worker can even hope to afford...can I ask you why??? Are they living on the moon? I have never understood this honestly...it is not that Im blaming them for being like that, but again I can mention my culture - we here don't expect anything to be honest...I know some women are just happy to have a man just like that even without 50%50....because the society itself has been poor for ages, so women here have very realistic expectations...if you want something, go and get it yourself...there is category like you mentioned, but they are considered to be greedy bitches and society doesnt like them and doesnt accept them too much, and even many years after marriage this woman may risk to hear that all she has, she got through bed....I don't understand how you can live in Tunisia where some average things are not available and from the other side you expect gold???? common, why exactly gold but not just normal dinner every evening...I know that the traditions are like that, but I think that they must be flexible indeed because times have changed so much..they expect too much and sometimes they expect more than they themselves can offer, but these expectations can drive some guys into rattery...they just HAVE to bring gold ....
Thanks SSG for your kind words.

Sadly the traditions hang on and it is about the honour of the man's family. If he cannot provide what is expected then he is not considered a good prospect. I have seen how it works and what is expected of the man and it can be extremely harsh. This is why some men don't get married until they are in their late 30s or marry cousins.

Gold is given as an investment and a dowry for the woman. We have lost this in our society as women go to work and are now, in the UK since the late 50s, allowed to control their own money (which by the way has always been allowed in Islam). Having said this, some of the women really do expect far too much and should be grateful for what is being provided. It is, maybe, the greed of some of these women that drive the men to taking desperate measures - NOT that I am condoning what they do.

Also, it is not just about what the woman wants, it is also about what the family expects. Most of the men that we are talking about here have parents from a generation that still holds tight to tradition. You mentioned that that many of the rats are ill educated. I would like to refute this as the education system in Tunisia is excellent. It might not be as broad as ours in terms of the syllabus but it is of an excellent standard. Also there are many genuine men from the smaller traditional villages who are not just marrying in order to make a good life for a Tunisian bride.

I am not defending the rats in anyway but I hope that a little insight into what I have experienced in Tunisia will help to explain a little of what these rats are saying. They are taking some facts, exaggerating them and using them to try and pull the wool over people's eyes. Half truths mixed up with what they think the "victim" wants to hear.
 

gem15

Junior Rat Expert
I have heard this saying many times when I 1st came over here 10 years ago.

Nowa days you hear it from the women saying they dont like the tunisian men.

Its all done for effect and they try and lure the europeans and westerners into a false sense of security!
 

Amber

oo la la ;)
Interesting discussion ...would women living in Tunisia agree to say that yes some rats are educated and even graduated and you don't hear these horrible lines from them , but you definately hear them from rats working in animation and touristic shops for example, who are not so educated and from poorer economic background?just asking...
We can hear some horrible lines in France too about young girls born french but with maghrebian roots.. when the parents have no time and money to educate their children , struggling for a living, or when parents have themselves low moral and/or no more religious values putting the emphasis on "having" more than"being" ...
 
M

Mona1

Guest
Interesting discussion ...would women living in Tunisia agree to say that yes some rats are educated and even graduated and you don't hear these horrible lines from them , but you definately hear them from rats working in animation and touristic shops for example, who are not so educated and from poorer economic background?just asking...
We can hear some horrible lines in France too about young girls born french but with maghrebian roots.. when the parents have no time and money to educate their children , struggling for a living, or when parents have themselves low moral and/or no more religious values putting the emphasis on "having" more than"being" ...

Most of the men that we, here, come into contact with are those that have not been to University and so might be considered less well educated. Many of them are still highly intelligent and only broke off their education in order to help support their families. Yes I have heard of university educated rats and most of them are probably also found working in tourism because they have not been able to find any other work.

It is such a difficult question to answer and to discuss because, in my opinion, it depends on the respect that the man/woman has for themselves. You can have the most ill educated, simple, poor man who genuinely falls in love with a European and just as easily have a well educated rat who cheats and lies. I have seen, with my own eyes, the behaviour of a rich (maybe the director's son?) boy playing around with two European girls actually on the same evening, one after the other!

Rat-ism knows no boundaries it is just that tourism makes up the vast majority of the jobs for those that need to support families and might then think that they can make a quick buck with "playing" with the tourists. Just my opinion.
 
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marilyna

Guest
Interesting discussion ...would women living in Tunisia agree to say that yes some rats are educated and even graduated and you don't hear these horrible lines from them , but you definately hear them from rats working in animation and touristic shops for example, who are not so educated and from poorer economic background?just asking...
We can hear some horrible lines in France too about young girls born french but with maghrebian roots.. when the parents have no time and money to educate their children , struggling for a living, or when parents have themselves low moral and/or no more religious values putting the emphasis on "having" more than"being" ...
Amber,

My rat went to University, works as a teacher, comes from a traditional family, yet uses all those horrible lines. He could not take any woman to his house, unless he was married to her.He told me he hated Tunisian women as they were too argumentative, but then told me I behaved like a Tunisian woman,lol. I think he is now married to a Tunisian woman, but has several Facebook accounts, and a Tagged account, chatting rubbish.My friends rats are not educated, and all work in tourism. I could be wrong, but I think the majority of rats are not educated and come from poorer backgrounds as you say.
 
M

Mona1

Guest
Amber,

My rat went to University, works as a teacher, comes from a traditional family, yet uses all those traditional lines. He could not take any woman to his house, unless he was married to her.He told me he hated Tunisian women as they were too argumentative, but then told me I behaved like a Tunisian woman,lol. I think he is now married to a Tunisian woman, but has several Facebook accounts, and a Tagged account, chatting rubbish.My friends rats are not educated, and all work in tourism. I could be wrong, but I think the majority of rats are not educated and come from poorer backgrounds as you say.

It is really a matter of numbers....the majority of rats work in tourism, the majority of those with less education work in tourism ergo most rats are less educated but less educated does not mean that the man is automatically a rat just as better educated does not mean he is not a rat.
 

Amber

oo la la ;)
It is really a matter of numbers....the majority of rats work in tourism, the majority of those with less education work in tourism ergo most rats are less educated but less educated does not mean that the man is automatically a rat just as better educated does not mean he is not a rat.
That's exactly my thought when you put it that way , by "educated" i wasn't only referring to going to university and getting a degree , i meant " brought up" in english i guess...in french , the word " educated" has both meaning...
 
K

Kirstyo

Guest
Not all Tunisian men want Tunisian women, just as not all European women want European men. Just as they are different to us, so are we to them.

Most Tunisian women expect a man to provide more than the normal worker can ever hope to afford. The man has to be able to provide somewhere for the bride to live, all the presents and jewellery that tradition prescribes must be given and a job that can support his wife and children. A European woman does not expect the same. She is willing (as it is our culture) to share the costs 50/50. Not all Tunisian women think like this, either, just as each and everyone of us is unique.

Never heard that there are no virgins left in Tunisia and never heard this from any Tunisian man - you must have found some right numpties. I do know that sex before marriage is becoming more usual but the woman often gets herself "repaired" before she gets married (so I have heard!).

SOME Tunisian men see Europeans as described by Marylou but not all. Some European behave that way, sadly.

Those that say all this sound to me as if they are protesting too much as I have never heard any of these things from any of the Tunisian men with whom we are friendly and certainly never from family members.
My husband (Tunisian) chose me non Tunisian for the reason as you mentioned above to have more of a 50/50 shared life and not such high demands as the Tunisian women put on the men, but he definitely does not hate them he has two sisters many female nieces and cousins so how could he hate them, he did buy me a white gold necklace that cost him allot of his savings, he actually spent all his savings every cent on me the wedding ect....I also contributed what I could and that is all he ever said to me what I can afford never once asked for money!!! People on here cannot keep saying all Tunisian men are unfaithful users ect....plenty are I am sure of this but as so many men in the world are pricks
 
G

Galadriel

Guest
Can I point out and not defending bad behaviour on any count but when I started visiting Tunisia, food was in short supply except for lentils, dried beans, etc as with many countries people living rurally maybe a little better off as could grow some food. Life has only got a little easier for some in very recent years and then not for many. There is a big split between the haves and havenots. I also remember when there were virtually no mobile phones or electrical goods that were affordable to the majority.
What I am trying to say is you from the West are temptation in it`s highest form, so better not to put it infront of guys there as, although we see things changing you would be surprised at how many people still really live in abject poverty.
 
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NetNiet

Guest
Interesting discussion ...would women living in Tunisia agree to say that yes some rats are educated and even graduated and you don't hear these horrible lines from them , but you definately hear them from rats working in animation and touristic shops for example, who are not so educated and from poorer economic background?just asking...
We can hear some horrible lines in France too about young girls born french but with maghrebian roots.. when the parents have no time and money to educate their children , struggling for a living, or when parents have themselves low moral and/or no more religious values putting the emphasis on "having" more than"being" ...
I don't think it makes a difference if a "rat" went to university or not to use these lines.
They are saying these lines to impress European women (at least they think they do;))
And they say these lines to European women, not to Tunisian women!
 

Amber

oo la la ;)
I think that both traditional and more western approaches and behaviours coexists in Tunisia as a result of the liberalization of the society initiated by Bourguiba , enforced by Ben ali , and it has inevitable consequences following these internal and political choices of Tunisia , reinforced by the broad access to communication on a large scale with the whole world through the media and internet. Today the population is struggling to find a peaceful cohabitation between traditions and more liberal tendancies.That's the reason why the youth is so puzzled .And the influence of the local tourists visiting Tunisia is really nothing compared to the impact of the media and the internet window on the western world.China and North Corea are still controling internet to avoid this access to the world as much as possible.

According to me , the wrong ideas tunisian men have about european women have to do with this influence of media and acccess to internet and the worlwide communication , much more than with the attitute of the toursists or their possessions( even if some undecent horrible women spoil the image of european women we agree ,but this is not the large number again).

To me in Tunisia ,the issue is :the visibilty of the "bad minorities", so yes as some pointed out , rats ,horrible undecent european women and umprobable weird mix couples , are putting a shadow on the large number very decent but less visible you can't meet easily when you are on holiday; you need to deepen your link to the country to discover realities and have a more balanced vision.

So that's why it's time for the country to deal with rattery as a national priority...judging rats and shaming them on an individual basis in everyday life without doing nothing is not enough , the society must take serious measures and enhance laws about it .

The "bad ones" are the more visible even if a minority .That's tricky and well known in social psychology , the strong characteristics of a small group can take the lead on the silent and quiet majority.
 

Salek

Well-Known Member
....I heard that phrase many times during my last two weeks holiday in the Sousse/Skanes Region by Tunisian man.

I returned back home last Saturday and when I find the time, I will write a detailled report for you.
This place is a cage full of fools!

Tunisian men hate Tunisian women, as they say, because they are smoking and drinking and making party and screwing around...so all the stuff Tunisian men do themselves.
Isnt that STUPID?

Apart from that, Tunsi-Man thinks, that you wont find any female virgin in Tunisia.

Plus the ladies over there are far to materialistic and the guys over there say, that a Tunisian man will not be loved for himself by a Tunisian woman, only for the materialistic stuff they can / could offer her.
The guys opinions are: Only European women love the men for themselves.

What do you think about that "opinion" of Tunsi-Men?

2 words.................'ABSOLUTE RUBBISH'
2 more words........'NOT TRUE'
 
N

NetNiet

Guest
I was on my way to ask - and what do they say to Tunisian women? How do they fight for their hearts? Do they flirt? Do they have dating?
I can only tell you what people told me when I asked them and I asked eldery people and the younger ones.
Before mobiles and Facebook where around they used to do it with little notes at a piece of paper at weddings!
I really love these stories, it reminds me when I was young and youwere passing little notes at little papers in the classroom when the teacher didn't see it! LOL
At weddings here in the south, most are the women and men separate, now they are sometimes a little bit more mixed, but before never. So thise little notes were going around, must be a very excited time!
Now they've got mobiles so ask numbers or numbers are passing to eachother or they find at facebook and get in contact this way.
They have dating but allways with another person joining, mostly a family member.
After they are engaged than the man is in general allowed also to visit the family, but mostly will be coming with family members from him aswell.
The women is not going to the man's family.

Again this is only what I know from here in the South, maybe up in the North it's differently. Allthough I'm very sure that up in the North they are not allowed aswell to be together with any other person.

I was told that the only dates they have is when a guy meets that particular girl in the company of some other people - his and her friends....Do they stay alone face to face just two of them? I don't mean for having something intimate, but just going for a walk or to the cinema...
Friends as extra company are sometimes allowed aswell, but mostly a member from the family, sister for excample it doesn't allways have to be a male family member.
No they don;t stay together, the extra person will be there aswell. Yes a walk or a coffee or eating somewhere. Cinema isn't here so I don;t know, maybe in the north it will be allowed?



I wonder how often do they meet and communicate with their future wives...because as far as I understood it is not a problem at all for them when you meet this person just for a few times and don't have any long discussions with him/her about life values, but then you just marry him/her..
Mostly they are engaged for a long time, so they will meet up and communicate. But like it is at any place at the world it's here aswell with Tunisian people, some people are not scared to talk about feelings and important subjects, but some people are.
And offcourse they will get to learn eachother in another way as we're used too, because we did had more freedom in our lives so also in relations, for us it's normal to get to know eachother, living together before marriage etc, here not.
So they will get to know their husband or wife better, after their marriage when they're living together and yes offcourse that will give sometimes some problems.
Imagine aswell the first night for the groom and the bride.....sometimes they are really scared, they don't know what to do and what to expect.........
And what I personally experience here a lot, that things the future husband has for bad habbits, they say it will change after marriage, or they say all the man are the same, what can I do? If they are engaged, it's not so easy when they get to know eachother, to break the engagement.

And what I also find very hughe for a Tunisian women, when she is getting married, up till than she lived with her family, than at once she is not living only with her new husband, but also with his family!!!

like in the case of Gem...I bet that woman didn't have any deep talks with that Turkish/Tunisian husband before she married ....
Sorry, did read so many things lately here, to which topic are you refering? Can you give a link?

If the approach -that marriage is a deal - prevails, then exactly communication BEFORE must be very important because you don't want your deal to fail, don't you...and if marriage is a deal , then communication is a must because only through this communication and deep talks and sharing values and views you will get the understanding if your partner is a good match in this deal...
Yes you're right, but like I said before all over the world there are people good at communicating and people who don't like that at all.
And if engaged, than that will be the time to get to know eachother, but an engagement here can't be easily broken.
There will be a lot of persons than getting involved, allthough it's the relationship of just these 2 persons......2 big families will get involved if they want to break an engagement and there will be a lot of talking about it, so there is much pressure at the 2 persons who are engaged.

to be honest, I still don't understand how do they choose..because when I was talking to my rat, I understood one thing, he can be a rat or a normal guy, but he will never ever in his life marry somebody he doesn't like..it is just impossible to force him...from the other side he will never like a woman if SHE doesn't like him...
The way they choose, there are a lot of options. If 2 persons find eachother, they can tell their parents (mostley the mother) than it will be discussed to see if the other family is OK and therefore accepted. It can also be that the parents make a suggestion to their child.

I'm not sure if I ever did write it here, but in general people say that the woman in Tunesia is suppressed.
I believe that the Tunisian man is suppressed for the majority.
Because the Tunisian man, can have a job, a house, his own family, so has his own life...... but his father will / can be in charge in decisions from the household from his son.
And also his mother's opinion is very important for him.
So for him the opinions from his father and mother has a big value and at the other side he has his wife who also has an opinion......can be very difficult for Tunisian men.

And therefore Amber, it can be that your ex "rat" wouldn't get married with someone who he doesn't like, but it will not be the first time that it's going to happen and that he get used with time to the idea to get married with a women who for excample his parents choose for him and that he get's to like her in time, because when the pressure is on it, they are able to make the best out of it, it's the system here how it works, they wouldn't be the first and not be the last .......

and I also think that if they choose European women exactly because they are not so demanding, so it is too some kind of some deal...
LOL Ask my husband who is more demanding....a Tunisian or a Dutch woman:D
You know I think that for Tunisian man it looks like European woman are not demanding, because what is the first step for them, to get married, here they need a house for that, they need money to buy the things they have too, they need money to have the wedding party etc.
Most European women pay all or most part from the wedding and after the wedding they get them a visa and he will com in the European womans house where everything is already.
So that sounds easy for them and caal it to my opinion "not demanding"

But than .......emigrating to another country is hughe and newly married aswell and living together with a woman and maybe children from her previous marriage, not be able to work in the beginning, staying home.....all big things!
And it is difficult for most of them.
The European woman has "just" to get used that her new husband is there, she will be happy and the rest of her life stays the same, she still got her house, her furniture, her job, everythings she is used too.
Most off the times she will not think about the hughe things in his life what has been changed and can't understand why he isn't that happy as she is.......

And if he's not working and she is, she will expect after some honeymoon weeks, that he will do something in the household....things he never done and is seeing as really women things, not things for him to do. So he has to adapt that way of living and expectations......

And European women are known as liking to communicate with their partner about important things, he will problaly not be used to that, so he has to learn that aswell.....

And than he will problaly think....wow these European women are demanding:D

I always feel strange when for example a man says to me - oo, you are such a good cook or you have a wonderful career..call me old fashioned, but to be honest, I don't like this, I would be prefered to be chosen for my beautiful eyes :) all these things - career, cooking, etc., sound very materialistic to me, because one day I can stop cooking due to some problems with my health for example, and my career can be stopped too because I will have children for example, and then what?? He will stop ''loving'' me???
No he will not Amber!
But every person is a "package deal" and things you do or did or can, did made you to who you are now.
And for men in general, it's more easy for them to say things like that, than to express their other feelings why they love you.

.....though I'm wondering what it means that if I'm cooking, my husband makes reservations in the hospital for us.....:D
 
C

crazypink

Guest
Agreed NN.

My BIL is in his late 30s and recently married. He met his now wife through a friend, and he went to her home to eat with her family to be introduced to her.
They spent no time alone together during their engagement - he went to spend the afternoon with her and her family on a sunday and they spoke on the fone during the week.
The first time they spent alone was after their marriage! He totally adores her and is very protective of her.

Things are very different when the family is a good practising family. My SILs have all dont the same thing. They never had boyfriends etc. Girls are very protected and looked after. But the sense of fun and love in my family is amazing. Female cousins visit and we have so much fun. One of my younger female cousins has recently qualifed as a doctor for [email protected]. But she doesnt go to coffee with boys or socialise with them.
 
M

marylou

Guest
I can only tell you what people told me when I asked them and I asked eldery people and the younger ones.
Before mobiles and Facebook where around they used to do it with little notes at a piece of paper at weddings!
I really love these stories, it reminds me when I was young and youwere passing little notes at little papers in the classroom when the teacher didn't see it! LOL
At weddings here in the south, most are the women and men separate, now they are sometimes a little bit more mixed, but before never. So thise little notes were going around, must be a very excited time!
Now they've got mobiles so ask numbers or numbers are passing to eachother or they find at facebook and get in contact this way.
They have dating but allways with another person joining, mostly a family member.
After they are engaged than the man is in general allowed also to visit the family, but mostly will be coming with family members from him aswell.
The women is not going to the man's family.

Again this is only what I know from here in the South, maybe up in the North it's differently. Allthough I'm very sure that up in the North they are not allowed aswell to be together with any other person.


Friends as extra company are sometimes allowed aswell, but mostly a member from the family, sister for excample it doesn't allways have to be a male family member.
No they don;t stay together, the extra person will be there aswell. Yes a walk or a coffee or eating somewhere. Cinema isn't here so I don;t know, maybe in the north it will be allowed?




Mostly they are engaged for a long time, so they will meet up and communicate. But like it is at any place at the world it's here aswell with Tunisian people, some people are not scared to talk about feelings and important subjects, but some people are.
And offcourse they will get to learn eachother in another way as we're used too, because we did had more freedom in our lives so also in relations, for us it's normal to get to know eachother, living together before marriage etc, here not.
So they will get to know their husband or wife better, after their marriage when they're living together and yes offcourse that will give sometimes some problems.
Imagine aswell the first night for the groom and the bride.....sometimes they are really scared, they don't know what to do and what to expect.........
And what I personally experience here a lot, that things the future husband has for bad habbits, they say it will change after marriage, or they say all the man are the same, what can I do? If they are engaged, it's not so easy when they get to know eachother, to break the engagement.

And what I also find very hughe for a Tunisian women, when she is getting married, up till than she lived with her family, than at once she is not living only with her new husband, but also with his family!!!


Sorry, did read so many things lately here, to which topic are you refering? Can you give a link?


Yes you're right, but like I said before all over the world there are people good at communicating and people who don't like that at all.
And if engaged, than that will be the time to get to know eachother, but an engagement here can't be easily broken.
There will be a lot of persons than getting involved, allthough it's the relationship of just these 2 persons......2 big families will get involved if they want to break an engagement and there will be a lot of talking about it, so there is much pressure at the 2 persons who are engaged.


The way they choose, there are a lot of options. If 2 persons find eachother, they can tell their parents (mostley the mother) than it will be discussed to see if the other family is OK and therefore accepted. It can also be that the parents make a suggestion to their child.

I'm not sure if I ever did write it here, but in general people say that the woman in Tunesia is suppressed.
I believe that the Tunisian man is suppressed for the majority.
Because the Tunisian man, can have a job, a house, his own family, so has his own life...... but his father will / can be in charge in decisions from the household from his son.
And also his mother's opinion is very important for him.
So for him the opinions from his father and mother has a big value and at the other side he has his wife who also has an opinion......can be very difficult for Tunisian men.

And therefore Amber, it can be that your ex "rat" wouldn't get married with someone who he doesn't like, but it will not be the first time that it's going to happen and that he get used with time to the idea to get married with a women who for excample his parents choose for him and that he get's to like her in time, because when the pressure is on it, they are able to make the best out of it, it's the system here how it works, they wouldn't be the first and not be the last .......


LOL Ask my husband who is more demanding....a Tunisian or a Dutch woman:D
You know I think that for Tunisian man it looks like European woman are not demanding, because what is the first step for them, to get married, here they need a house for that, they need money to buy the things they have too, they need money to have the wedding party etc.
Most European women pay all or most part from the wedding and after the wedding they get them a visa and he will com in the European womans house where everything is already.
So that sounds easy for them and caal it to my opinion "not demanding"

But than .......emigrating to another country is hughe and newly married aswell and living together with a woman and maybe children from her previous marriage, not be able to work in the beginning, staying home.....all big things!
And it is difficult for most of them.
The European woman has "just" to get used that her new husband is there, she will be happy and the rest of her life stays the same, she still got her house, her furniture, her job, everythings she is used too.
Most off the times she will not think about the hughe things in his life what has been changed and can't understand why he isn't that happy as she is.......

And if he's not working and she is, she will expect after some honeymoon weeks, that he will do something in the household....things he never done and is seeing as really women things, not things for him to do. So he has to adapt that way of living and expectations......

And European women are known as liking to communicate with their partner about important things, he will problaly not be used to that, so he has to learn that aswell.....

And than he will problaly think....wow these European women are demanding:D


No he will not Amber!
But every person is a "package deal" and things you do or did or can, did made you to who you are now.
And for men in general, it's more easy for them to say things like that, than to express their other feelings why they love you.

.....though I'm wondering what it means that if I'm cooking, my husband makes reservations in the hospital for us.....:D
well said netniet ;) xx
 
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NetNiet

Guest
I think that both traditional and more western approaches and behaviours coexists in Tunisia as a result of the liberalization of the society initiated by Bourguiba , enforced by Ben ali , and it has inevitable consequences following these internal and political choices of Tunisia , reinforced by the broad access to communication on a large scale with the whole world through the media and internet. Today the population is struggling to find a peaceful cohabitation between traditions and more liberal tendancies.That's the reason why the youth is so puzzled .And the influence of the local tourists visiting Tunisia is really nothing compared to the impact of the media and the internet window on the western world.China and North Corea are still controling internet to avoid this access to the world as much as possible.

According to me , the wrong ideas tunisian men have about european women have to do with this influence of media and acccess to internet and the worlwide communication , much more than with the attitute of the toursists or their possessions( even if some undecent horrible women spoil the image of european women we agree ,but this is not the large number again).

To me in Tunisia ,the issue is :the visibilty of the "bad minorities", so yes as some pointed out , rats ,horrible undecent european women and umprobable weird mix couples , are putting a shadow on the large number very decent but less visible you can't meet easily when you are on holiday; you need to deepen your link to the country to discover realities and have a more balanced vision.

So that's why it's time for the country to deal with rattery as a national priority...judging rats and shaming them on an individual basis in everyday life without doing nothing is not enough , the society must take serious measures and enhance laws about it .

The "bad ones" are the more visible even if a minority .That's tricky and well known in social psychology , the strong characteristics of a small group can take the lead on the silent and quiet majority.
I think it works 2 ways with the "bad ones" are more visible even if a minority.
That is the same for the Tunisian "rats" in the eyes of tourists as for the "easy European women" in the eyes of the Tunisians who are working in tourist places.

If you ask outside tourist places the opinion about European women, you will hear something totally different than you've ever heard from the Tunisian people in the tourist places.

And you write:
( even if some undecent horrible women spoil the image of european women we agree ,but this is not the large number again)
For you it's maybe not a large number, but try to see it tru their Tunisian eyes.
They see women looking for holiday romance.
They see women in bikini
They see women drinking alcohol
They see women smoking
They see women talking to men who are not their husband
They see women in clothes Tunisian women not wear
They see women and men handing hands together in public
They see women kissing a men in public

For us maybe normal things....but for them are all this things, things they learned as women who doesn't respect....
 
C

catgirl

Guest
One of the guys who said to me, that he hates Tunisian women was divorced from an English women.
The the reason for that was (for him): She was drinking to much, only wanted to party.
He did not like that....he said.
 
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NetNiet

Guest
Thank you for your explanations :) But I'm not Amber :) I'm her friend SSG :D Though I don't mind too much if you mix us up :D
LOL sorry, when I posted it and think about if I did write all I wanted I thought, why do I think about Amber when I reply to SSG? Now I know, I used the wrong name!
Sorry again!!!
 
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