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Wiser

Major Ratslayer
I can’t believe I did that.
I am so ashamed of myself. My little girl has braces that I’m trying to get paid off and I’m sending a rat money. I just need to cry.
I LOVE YALL!
Don’t blame yourself, the love rats aka scammers live from that, they know what they are doing, from the moment they target someone.
He is the one acting wrongly, you are on a perfect time to cut his ass off from your life and continue it with open eyes. Big hugs.
 

SouthernGirl

Major Ratslayer
Hi Jennie,

First off, you should not be ashamed that you sent him money. You did it out of goodness of your heart because you thought you had a future with him and you wanted to help him. He’s the one who ought to be ashamed to take money from a single mom raising a young child. Shame on him! The most important is you now don’t believe ever again his sob stories, doesn’t matter how elaborate they can be and how insistent he will be. He’s not entitled to receive one penny from you. You now know it’s all lies and he’s a rat and that’s what rats do.

Second, it doesn’t mean anything that his name didn’t pop anywhere when you looked him up. He may still be somewhere on the net with his name being spelled differently. Also some victims never report them.

He left Norway because he had to (was deported) or he left on his own after his wife divorced him. This is hard for illegal immigrants in Norway. The Government doesn’t help them and he may have figured he couldn’t make it without her on an expired visa. There is a reason why he has no spousal visa. She must have realized quick he was an user and she kicked him to the curb.
Norway is very protective of its borders and having a small population (less than 6 millions) it’s easier for the authorities to track people who are there illegally. I found an article that says that many immigrants with no papers leave on their own. They know they won’t get freebies from the Government, like they could in other European countries. I’ll post the article.

Also, I’m sorry your two best friends cut ties with you because they didn’t approve of your relationship. It was not their place to judge. They suspected he was bad news- which they were right- and it should have been another reason for them to stick around and watch you, knowing that you were getting herself in a bad situation. I’m sad for you because it must have been heartbreaking to lose them and disappointing. I hope you have other good friends who are there for you.

That was good you wrote. You’ll find support and get answers to your questions and many women here went through the same experience.
 

SouthernGirl

Major Ratslayer
Jennie,

Here’s a good and informative article that explains that life will be tough in Norway without a visa. That could explain why this man is back in Tunisia (and back to ratting women online) Rats don’t go back home unless they have to. The article focuses first on asylum seekers who choose to leave because life is though there.
If you don’t feel like reading it all , the last 3 paragraphs say it all. Article is from 2017. I don’t know when he was there but laws got even stricter since.

 

Butterflies

Major Ratslayer
I can’t believe I did that.
I am so ashamed of myself. My little girl has braces that I’m trying to get paid off and I’m sending a rat money. I just need to cry.
I LOVE YALL!
Don't feel ashamed plse these rats have no heart and they take advantage of our caring hearts. They love your money and a visa, they only love themselves and he don't care if he left you penny less. We know what you are feeling it hurts when you find out you was being used. Blok and delete his texts without reading and don't look back but rest assured he will try to come back to you with a fake acount or through one of his friends. It is like real rats hard to get rid of. Keep your head up high it's not your fault he is the scammer. Big hug to you xxxx
 

Tinker-lulu

Major Ratslayer
Oh dear @Jenny I’m not really surprised to learn he bought you gifts with your money; so basically you paid for your own gifts lol, yep get rid of him PRONTO it’s a bad smell coming from him, he obviously has done other illegal things, delete any contact you had with him, social media, phones or numbers, get rid of him and I hope you can find healing bcz you had lovely feelings for him but he’s not good and you realised just in time, best wishes to you and believe me you will be avoiding a lot of heart ache with out him xx
 
I know a few rats that have bought gifts out of the woman's money
Gives a false sense of security
Because the woman tends to ignore the fact it's her money that has been used
And thinks it's strange but oddly sweet because the money wasn't used on himself.
Don't kid yourself it will be a few souvenirs from a market stall
The rest of the money would be used by him
 

Peacock

Major Ratslayer
It stops today. It actually started yesterday. I refuse to send him another penny.
Don’t they just disappear when you stop sending money?
No they don't just disappear after you refuse to send money. He will probably keep on telling you how wonderful you are, and pretend that you are the love of his life. Then when he thinks you can't live without him he will once again want payment from you. You need to be strong and resist his demands.
No self respecting man would be happy to be financed by a woman. If he has no self respect then he certainly has no respect for you.
The Norwegian wife probably realised she had backed a loser and ended the relationship.
Is it possible for you to try to rebuild the friendships that you had? Maybe spend less time talking to the Tunisian and try to spend time with friends. X
 

Jennie

Junior Rat Expert
I know a few rats that have bought gifts out of the woman's money
Gives a false sense of security
Because the woman tends to ignore the fact it's her money that has been used
And thinks it's strange but oddly sweet because the money wasn't used on himself.
Don't kid yourself it will be a few souvenirs from a market stall
The rest of the money would be used by him
Omg that is EXACTLY what I thought!!!
“How sweet that he bought me something instead of spending it on himself”
 

Mica

Administrator
Staff member
He wasn’t deported ( )and the only reason I know this is because he was sending me things to prove everything he told me was true.
I didn’t believe he left a good money situation and then he showed me his airline ticket showing he bought a one way ticket back home.
If he was on a 3 month visit visa the Tunisian government, and the Norwegian government, would not let him travel without a return ticket.
So why did he need to buy a one way ticket when he left?
 

Jennie

Junior Rat Expert
If he was on a 3 month visit visa the Tunisian government, and the Norwegian government, would not let him travel without a return ticket.
So why did he need to buy a one way ticket when he left?
I was told they married in Tunisia when she came to visit him.
At some point after getting married he got a travel visa for 3 months and during that 3 month stay there with her he finally just told him self that this wasn’t what he thought he wanted.

* Just to clarify. She didn’t divorce him. He is divorcing her. I know because some of the money that I sent him was for that purpose too and he showed me the paperwork.
& he did not leave her for me lol I don’t want people thinking that either

As of yesterday, he had received a letter stating that she is accepting the divorce from him.
 
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ButterflyBee

Major Ratslayer
I was told they married in Tunisia when she came to visit him.
At some point after getting married he got a travel visa for 3 months and during that 3 month stay there with her he finally just told him self that this wasn’t what he thought he wanted.

* Just to clarify. She didn’t divorce him. He is divorcing her. I know because some of the money that I sent him was for that purpose too and he showed me the paperwork.
& he did not leave her for me lol I don’t want people thinking that either

As of yesterday, he had received a letter stating that she is accepting the divorce from him.
Just because he ‘filed’ for the divorce this doesn’t mean he left her. As the marriage was in Tunisia it’s normal for him to put the paperwork through (as she isn’t in the country and they married there) , it still could have been her choice to end the marriage and her request for divorce
 

Peacock

Major Ratslayer
I was told they married in Tunisia when she came to visit him.
At some point after getting married he got a travel visa for 3 months and during that 3 month stay there with her he finally just told him self that this wasn’t what he thought he wanted.

* Just to clarify. She didn’t divorce him. He is divorcing her. I know because some of the money that I sent him was for that purpose too and he showed me the paperwork.
& he did not leave her for me lol I don’t want people thinking that either

As of yesterday, he had received a letter stating that she is accepting the divorce from him.
Was the paperwork in a language you understood?
The rats often ask for money from their next victim to pay for their "divorce".
If someone is innocent they do not feel the need to keep producing evidence of their innocence.
Normal people don't keep everything so they can prove their "innocence".
 

Storm

Major Ratslayer
If someone is innocent they do not feel the need to keep producing evidence of their innocence.
Normal people don't keep everything so they can prove their "innocence".
Yes! yes! Exactly!
Use to point that out to rat. Always found the need to do this, even when it wasn't required. Use to drive me up the wall especially when really all it did was prove that he was a liar.
 

Sabrina lasser

Major Ratslayer
Met a Tunisian man online back in November and things got pretty serious pretty fast.
We were going to meet in June but Covid happened.
We talk daily.
We FaceTime.
I’ve never had any issue with him avoiding my calls or text.
He works but I don’t think it’s full-time work.
He constantly wants to talk or text. He sets an alarm (Time zones) so we can visit.
Even if it means him waking up at 1:00am to chat. Since November of last year I have sent about $1,500 to him.
Last month I sent him $400 so he could get a bike but instead of the bike he bought ME things ‍♀
He seems like a good guy but I know they all do in the beginning.
I hope I don’t have a rat.
How did he get the things to you? They all are like this believe me
 

Sabrina lasser

Major Ratslayer
Was the paperwork in a language you understood?
The rats often ask for money from their next victim to pay for their "divorce".
If someone is innocent they do not feel the need to keep producing evidence of their innocence.
Normal people don't keep everything so they can prove their "innocence".
Mine never gave proof of anything asked one time for record for kidney stone removal (uh huh) what do you know they threw the records out ???
 

Fairy

Major Ratslayer
Don't send him
I really can’t afford it & Im not going to send anymore money either.
I thought the first time he was that desperate and must have really needed it so I sent it, then the 2nd time, 3rd time & the 4th time was yesterday and I just told him I don’t have the money ‍♀
Im pretty disappointed in myself for even sending anything
I just thought he was the sweetest man I had ever met
Block the fucker from all avenues now. He will keep on trying to get more from you and won't give up. There's lots of support here on this forum for you. Just block him before it gets worse
 

Sabrina lasser

Major Ratslayer
I was told they married in Tunisia when she came to visit him.
At some point after getting married he got a travel visa for 3 months and during that 3 month stay there with her he finally just told him self that this wasn’t what he thought he wanted.

* Just to clarify. She didn’t divorce him. He is divorcing her. I know because some of the money that I sent him was for that purpose too and he showed me the paperwork.
& he did not leave her for me lol I don’t want people thinking that either

As of yesterday, he had received a letter stating that she is accepting the divorce from him.
Just because he ‘filed’ for the divorce this doesn’t mean he left her. As the marriage was in Tunisia it’s normal for him to put the paperwork through (as she isn’t in the country and they married there) , it still could have been her choice to end the marriage and her request for divorce
It’s a shame, we wouldn’t pay for our boyfriend divorce if he was someone from our country.
We wouldn’t pay for anything unless we wanted to
 

minnie

Major Ratslayer
write
That doctor divorced him because she probably found out he was a rat. I’m sure 100% he was out all hours of the night, wouldn’t contribute to the finances, was lazy and mooching off her. That’s why she divorced him, I’m sure. And now he is deported because he had no choice.
write and ask his x wife of he is a rat I am sure she will be able to tell
 

I'm not a believer

Major Ratslayer
Met a Tunisian man online back in November and things got pretty serious pretty fast.
We were going to meet in June but Covid happened.
We talk daily.
We FaceTime.
I’ve never had any issue with him avoiding my calls or text.
He works but I don’t think it’s full-time work.
He constantly wants to talk or text. He sets an alarm (Time zones) so we can visit.
Even if it means him waking up at 1:00am to chat. Since November of last year I have sent about $1,500 to him.
Last month I sent him $400 so he could get a bike but instead of the bike he bought ME things ‍♀
He seems like a good guy but I know they all do in the beginning.
I hope I don’t have a rat.
STOP SENDING MONEY!!! Whilst my rat did not ask for vast amounts of money. I still could not get over the fact he asked.
It all added up in drips and drabs but I put a stop to it when it totalled £600 ( $770) I now haven’t sent any for over a year.
He last asked a few months ago, saying he was desperate . I didn’t send , I knew if I did he would ask again and again and again.
Now he’s working 2 jobs. Ask yourself , how would he survive if you weren’t around? As with regards to your relationship.
Its not even a year. Give it 18 months and it will start to wear you down. I’m 3 years in to my relationship. I’m on the fence about mine being a rat. Another member in this group, Butterflies will understand my reasons why . I will let her explain to members when and if she wants to , my reasons why . As much as I love him. I wish I’d never met him. Good luck.

[Can I give a quick shout out to Butterlies. Thank you Butterflies so much for what you did. You don’t know how valuable your advise and help was. What a sweet kind person you are.xx]
 
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