hows your monday? so sweet and i appreciate that, im back to work today, after such wonderful whirlwind vacation to niagara (so needed) with my children, being back to the grind will be hard. im just doing what i can do and i havent heard from him still since my bday. see him and think of everything i do and had wished for so much, usually would be planning trip to see him ..saving, preparing but canada did not disappoint! sleeping yes ...but the medicine and alcohol , crying makes that easy. rather sleep you know if im not distracted by thingsMy dear , at least you are able to sleep at night now. first babystep....dont try to force yourself to put a smile or makeup on , you are not the type for that , i see you need your time to grieve and give yourself this time, its completly okay to cry, yell and close yourself away for some time .....believe me ...i have been there too and the river of tears WILL stop one day and you will feel suddenly better.. ...... Niagara Falls ? sounds great ..wish i could come with you ....take care my dear ...big hug xxxx
how was ur weekend? you feeling any better?Well I took my own advice last night (and a couple of Nytol Herbal) and slept for seven hours the first time in months, the day just seems a lot calmer. Not great but I have been able to do some other things today and obsessed a lot less. Thanks
so completely wrong about someone.....i dont believe now you can every truly know someone and certainly not control them but...sometimes i want to call him an asshole even tho i had never thought to but i have put up with alot from him also, mainly just things he didnt do or try hard enough to do and the MAN HE SAID HE WAS was no MAN ENOUGH for me coped out in the most blackest of betrayal. i feel i am nothing to him and it was nothing, i usually can forgive and want to understand and take him back but i really dont think i can, he's just such a total disgrace to me that I will never wish him any happiness, i hope he gets his most precious person in world is tortured in front him while his heart gets ripped out and fed to him..he put black on our memory he stained our love he was the complet pretender.He has a black heart to match ...
@Laura2014Ah Lellaji, you sound a little better too this evening. The medication will kick in soon, but don't become reliant on it as sometimes its better just to grieve for what you have lost rather than delay it. I know that feeling of being sick and tired of being sick and tired and feeling that my friends had heard it regurgitated enough but it helped so much at the time. They were just frustrated that about every two or three weeks I would be in the same state of despair. I think they are all pleased I have finally taken a positive step forward. I know its not an easy road ahead, I miss him dreadfully, but it is easier today. Whenever I think sad thoughts I hop on here and get grounded again. My experience has not been anywhere near as bad as yours, you totally committed yourself to your marriage and had hopes for the future. I was filled with doubts from the first few weeks so I guess I never really enjoyed much of the whole experience. Having read the post this evening from the girl who has been left alone in an apartment after they cleared her bank account then I count myself very lucky. Keep coming back there is always someone here day or night, thankfully.
i so and i hate myself for that, why god let someone with a soul and pure heart get so destroyed?Look at Your ex like a black rose and put this in Your mind . In future take a papar and Write Down what you is looking for in a man . Stop to be a Nice women becaurse wrong typ off men will use you when they see you have a Nice soul .
@AmiraPlease Leilap if he try to take contact With you again do not show him that you is miss him and do not Call him or send a sms . One Thing i learn about arab men . They is very selfish and they is always put them self on top . They is not men but boys .
BUT ANY MUSLIM MAN I HAVE KNOWN OR WHAT I GATHER ABOUT THEIR DIGNITY FOR WIVES OR WOMAN THEY LOVE...THEY WOULD NEVER DISCUSS PRIVATE ISSUES AND PROBLEMS ESP NOT WITH FAMILY, IM NOT TALKING A BEST FRIEND OR COUSIN OK I DIDNT THINK SO THEY WERE LIKE WOMEN SITTING AND THINKING AND DWELLING ON SHIT, HE ALWAYS MADE ME FEEL THAT HE DIDNT LIKE DRAMA. LOOK WHAT HE'S CREATED AND HOW WILL HE EXPLAIN TO OTHERS ABOUT HIS DECISION TO LEAVE ME ANDNOT HAVE ME AROUND OR COME BACK THERE...I HAVE NEVER HAD ANYONE TREAT ME WITH SUCH DISGRACE OR LACK OF RESPECT AND ALL THE TALK, THATS ALL TALK TALK TALK OKSome times it is hard to Accept fact and honest i can understand Your feelings but when Your husband/ex left you for some weeks ago it is best for you to stay Cold . Becaurse they loves to talk to much to them friends about women . They can sit on shop all days and talk about women .
@rose711 COUNSELING SOMETHING LONG OVER DUE FOR ME BUT ...I SHOULD HAD GONE B/C THE EX MORROCAN WAS PHYSICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY MENTALLY ABUSIVE BUT THIS CURRENT ONE....I DIDNT THINK SO BUT HE 'S ABANDONED ME AND THAT IS ABUSIVE I THINK, NEGLECT IS ALSO ABUSE AND YES I WILL TRY TO GET THERE ITS ON MY LIST OF THINGS TO DO.CANADA WAS MORE THAN I EXPECTED AND SEEING MY GIRLS ENJOY AND TRAVEL WITH ME, WOW, THANK GOD FOR THEM REALLY, THEY ARE WHAT KEEPS ME GROUNDED AND ALIVE..HOW WAS UR WEEKEND?Please keep posting. We want to know how you are doing.
Also, please consider going for therapy for domestic abuse. At least talk to a counselor. You can get help and the people here that say they went to counseling, and worked hard, seem to improve much faster than those who don't.
It can't hurt you to try.
A vacation at Niagara Falls sounds great!
@Laura2014 I LIKE HOW YOU PUT THIS, I AM FEELING A BIT THE SAME, BUT HAD I NOT HAD THE MEDICINE TO CALM ME, I DONT KNOW, I WAS FEARING FOR MYSELF, ITS NOT JUST ABOUT HIM DEVASTATING ME ITS EVEN CULMINATION OF ALL OTHER DISAPPOINTMENTS AND FAILURES THAT COMPOUND IT AND POINT IM AT IN MY LIFE, LETS FACE IT NOT GETTING ANY YOUNGER BUT I TRY TO READ YOUR POSTS ABOUT HOW YOU ARE COPING AND I DO THINK DOES HE THINK ABOUT ME AND HERE I AM AGAIN SAYING OF COURSE..HE HAS TO BE...BUT YOU KNOW WHAT...NOT A SECOND OR FIRST THOUGHT...SO SAD REALLY, IM HERE IF YOU NEED ME TOO AND MOSTLY STILL CHECKING PHONE FOR ANYTHING AND HOURS CAN SEEM SO LONG WITH NO ONE ASKING OR KEEPING IN TOUCH. I MAKE MY GIRLS MY BEST FRIENDS NOW...AND TO THINK HE WANTED ME FOCUS MORE ON US AND OUR LIFE THAN THEM...MOTHERFCKER SO BROADSIDED BY THIS TURN OF CHARACTER WITH THIS MAN AND OH ALL THE SUDDEN NOW HIS SISTER DOESNT BOTHER TO TEXT ME EVEN WHEN I TEXT HER....FCKING PETTY LOW CLASS DISGRACEFUL BACK STABBING DONT EVEN BOTHER EXPLAINING TRICKERY...IM REALLY JUST THANKING GOD OUR CANADA TRIP WAS FABULOUS!!! WISH TO POST PICS TO SHARE..IS THIS POSSIBLE?I know it seems like one step forward one back, but on Monday I thought I would not survive the week, well its Friday and I am still here and nothing terrible happened. Just have to keep going, doing stuff and every-time I think about him, find something to do. Early mornings are the when I feel sad, he thought of a new day without contact but that's the reality so we just have to get through another day. I hate the thought that I am wishing my life away though so that I am far enough ahead to not think about him anymore. Life is precious and I don't want to waste any more of it thinking about someone who probably has not given me a second or even a first thought.
I know I will be OK, I have been through worse things, but he will probably spend much of his adult life looking for any way out of Tunisia.
YES I WAS FAST IN RE MARRYING WITH TUNISIAN BUT SEE HOW HE WON MY HEART AND SO QUICKLY BUT I DID GO THERE AND SPEND TIME WITH HIM IN HIS HOME WITH FAMILY I LIKE WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT GETTING HONEST ANSWERS FROM THEM IMPOSSIBLE !! I AGREE AND MAKING EXCUSES....I LOVE HIM YOU KNOW I CANT SAY I LOVED HIM I STILL LOVE HIM AND LOVING HIM AND MISSING HIM TOO MUCH IM TRYING TO PUSH IT DOWN AND AWAY , I REALLY AM...IM AFRAID TO LET GO YOU KNOW BUT I KNOW HE ALREADY HAS...IM SURE HE HAS...HOW COULD HE DO THIS? I STILL CANT BELIEVE ITYou divorced Your ex in 2012 maybe you was to fast With the man from Tunisia ? Problem With arabian men is they is always give us all fauls when some thing wrong happend and to get a honest answer from them it is real and impossible .but one thing i learn stop to excurse them . They will never see them faul i think and it is better to stay alone than to be together With one you do not trust or are afraid to come home to
THANKS @Tiger THE HORRIBLE THINGS I BEEN THRU AND OTHERS HAVE BEEN THRU WAY WAY WORSE I HATE TO COMPLAIN AND FEEL SO DESOLATE AND DESPERATE WHEN SURELY I AM NOT, BUT LOVE SO POWERFUL OK AND HE FOOLED ME INTO GOING HIS WAY WITH HIM AND NOW HE DROPPED ME OK AND HOW I CARED FOR HIM SO MUCH AND I NEVR WANT TO THROW IN FACE ALL I DID FOR HI M, ALL UNCONDITIONALLLY BUT JUST SO USED I FEEL NOW AND LIKE HOW COULD HE NOT WANT ME:???????? YOU DONT WANT ME? LOLLL YOU GOING TO JUST REALLY THROW AWAY AND FUCK UP THE ONE THING WE KNOW HE WANTED A WAY OUT OF TUNISIA AND I TOLD HIM THAT TOO, NOT TO FACE OF COURSE I NEVER HAD MY CHANCE YET TO FACE HIM OK BUT I TOLD HIM I GUESS I WAS JUST UR WAY OUT OF UR COUNTRY (AS I MAY OF SUSPECTED BUT NEVER EXPECTED) AND I WAS ONLY AS GOOD AS WHAT I COULD GIVE EVEN THO MY FATHER IN LAW GOT IN TROUBLE WITH THE LAW (AND MAYBE HE LIES ABOUT REASON FOR MONEY, WOULDNT BE SURPRISED) BUT IAM SUPPOSED TO TRUST...SO FATHER IN LAW IN TROUBLE WITH LAW COURT LAWYER WHOLE BIT AND I SEND MONEY TO GET HIM OUT OF TROUBLE OKWhen i talk about "putting on a smiling face" was that don´t let him see u suffer and let him belive he have you under his shoos to step on. B/c like that it will be no limits for what bad things he can say to you just to hurt you more. They love when they can make you guilty and hurt. That is their revange. To break you totally. There are no empaty .
When i told to put on make up it is b/c when we go true this trauma it is so easy to let us self go and neglecting ourself. No sleep, no food. Even if our inside feel like living hell it is important to do the things we normally do.
So i do not belive a dash of lipstick and a shower can solve the hard time , it will not. What i did try to say was that don´t let him know how down you really feel. It was ment as a protection
So glad to here from you after your trip. My weekend was good as we had great weather.@rose711 COUNSELING SOMETHING LONG OVER DUE FOR ME BUT ...I SHOULD HAD GONE B/C THE EX MORROCAN WAS PHYSICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY MENTALLY ABUSIVE BUT THIS CURRENT ONE....I DIDNT THINK SO BUT HE 'S ABANDONED ME AND THAT IS ABUSIVE I THINK, NEGLECT IS ALSO ABUSE AND YES I WILL TRY TO GET THERE ITS ON MY LIST OF THINGS TO DO.CANADA WAS MORE THAN I EXPECTED AND SEEING MY GIRLS ENJOY AND TRAVEL WITH ME, WOW, THANK GOD FOR THEM REALLY, THEY ARE WHAT KEEPS ME GROUNDED AND ALIVE..HOW WAS UR WEEKEND?
You can get better. It won't always feel this way.THANKS @Tiger THE HORRIBLE THINGS I BEEN THRU AND OTHERS HAVE BEEN THRU WAY WAY WORSE I HATE TO COMPLAIN AND FEEL SO DESOLATE AND DESPERATE WHEN SURELY I AM NOT, BUT LOVE SO POWERFUL OK AND HE FOOLED ME INTO GOING HIS WAY WITH HIM AND NOW HE DROPPED ME OK AND HOW I CARED FOR HIM SO MUCH AND I NEVR WANT TO THROW IN FACE ALL I DID FOR HI M, ALL UNCONDITIONALLLY BUT JUST SO USED I FEEL NOW AND LIKE HOW COULD HE NOT WANT ME:???????? YOU DONT WANT ME? LOLLL YOU GOING TO JUST REALLY THROW AWAY AND FUCK UP THE ONE THING WE KNOW HE WANTED A WAY OUT OF TUNISIA AND I TOLD HIM THAT TOO, NOT TO FACE OF COURSE I NEVER HAD MY CHANCE YET TO FACE HIM OK BUT I TOLD HIM I GUESS I WAS JUST UR WAY OUT OF UR COUNTRY (AS I MAY OF SUSPECTED BUT NEVER EXPECTED) AND I WAS ONLY AS GOOD AS WHAT I COULD GIVE EVEN THO MY FATHER IN LAW GOT IN TROUBLE WITH THE LAW (AND MAYBE HE LIES ABOUT REASON FOR MONEY, WOULDNT BE SURPRISED) BUT IAM SUPPOSED TO TRUST...SO FATHER IN LAW IN TROUBLE WITH LAW COURT LAWYER WHOLE BIT AND I SEND MONEY TO GET HIM OUT OF TROUBLE OK
AND SO THEN WHEN HE PRESSES ABOUT VISA AND COMPLAINING IM DRAGGING MY FEET AS IF IM THE ONLY CONTROLLING HERE SO YEAH HE COMPLAINS AND THEN I HAVE NO MONEY NOT ONLY FOR VISA APPLICATION BUT MYSELF AND MY KIDS CUZ IM FCKING POOOR AND SINCE VACATIONING THERE DEC 27-JAN 11 SPENDING ALL MONEY AND LOSING MONEY FROM HOLIDAYS AND TRAVEL AND EXTRA BAGGAGE TO BRINGING EVERYTHING TO THEM FOR XMAS AND OTHER STUFF YOU HAVE NO IDEA I MEAN HE HAD IT GOOD MAN SO WHY? AND I WASNT BUYING HIM I LOVE HIM OK AND I DID MY BEST AND IN END I THINK HES UNGREATFUL ENTIRELY FOR MISUNDERSTANDING ME WHEN I SAID THAT THE MONEY FOR THE VISA WENT TO FREE UR FATHER AND HE GOT MAD ABOUT THIS ON MAY 27 AND WE HAD SEEN EACH OTHER LAST ON THIS DAY VIA SKYPE BUT ALL IN ALL HIS CONTACT BECAME LESS AND LESS AND HE WAS MORE ANGRY AND HOPELESS BUT I WAS AROUND AND AVAILABLE AND BY HIS SIDE BUT HE GIVES ME SILENCE ALOTTTTTTTTTTT WHEN HES MAD AND HE WANTS ME TO TRUST HIM HOW? IF I CANT SEE ACTION OR SEE HIM WHAT HE'S DOING THEN I NEED TO HAVE CONTACT ON PHONE IN EMAILS OR SKYPE OR WHATSAPP WHATEVER...HE JUST LIKE DISAPPEARS AND ALWAYS WITH EXCUSE ANYWAY I M GOING OFF AGAIN, SORRY....I SEE NOW THAT MAYBE HE GOT SOMEONE ELSE TO HELP HIM WITH VISA, WOULD I BE SURPRISED REALLY NOT B/C I HAD WORST THINGS HAPPEN SO WHY SHOULD I HAD BELIEVED HIM AND ALL HIS BULLSHIT WHEN HE SAID HE WAS REAL, NEVER LEAVE ME, NEVER TURN BACK , NEVER TALK BAD , NEVER HURT ME?? REALLY AND HE'S THE WORST OF WORST????????????? YES THEY, ARAB MEN, ALL I HAVE BEEN WITH AND KNOWN MAKE YOU FEEL GUILTY AND ITS OUR FAULT FOR MOST THINGS
Hello MarionI have been in a long distance relationship with a Tunisian man for almost 5 years now. We met through Facebook in 2011. We got engaged last summer. However, it's the 5th time I will be visiting Tunisia this summer, and I'm really fed up. He hasn't visited me yet, (I live in Los Angeles) or met any of my friends or family. Every year there is some kind of excuse, and promises to visit me the following year. I wasn't aware that my situation was so common! After all these years, I finally start having doubts. I'm tired of constantly flying out there to see him. I spent thousands of dollars every summer. I understand the country is very poor. Many find themselves in very difficult situations, with very low salary to support themselves and their families. . NeveR did I expect to be in a long distance relationship, and stay faithful for so long ! But now I'm beginning to question my relationship. Is he worth all my effort And money ? What have I gained from him ? How has a this relationship benefited me? I do truly love him, but you can never trust anyone! I'm tired of waiting and dreaming...what do I do ??? I don't want to leave him
@rose711 it's funny the one thing that didnt matter to me at all and 'apparently' to him was the one thing that drove us apart and believe me im a poor single mother over here, i know he sees me doing things and living my life here, but i have to , esp i have kids and i been self sufficient all my life, he has yet to break free of his family there, cant support a wife and basically just a means of helping PROVIDE for them !! and who gonna provide for me??? not that i asked him to...all the3 power laying in my hands and then him making feel guilty for not coming thru? he never gave me a chance, somethings fishy but again MONEY BEING THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL HERE, he couldnt find someone less concerned or driven by money and look at him, if i cared about money or anything but love why would i allow him to be my husband? he cant provide me the life im accustomed to even if my life is as simple as it gets for any man, still he couldnt cut it, it was about LOVE OK i was REAL im tired of the fake phoney motherfckers out there, as close as " i thought' we were i never would ever never ever imagine him doing this to me and this way anyway he not only took my money he took my heart and soul..can one be more destroyed than they already were? he was my life and my hope, my one and onlyYou can get better. It won't always feel this way.
He took all your money and then dropped you when you didn't have any more. That seems to be the explanation.
You should just keep posting here if you want.