I NEED YOUR HELP!!!

Discussion in 'Rat on a Rat' started by Katiaaa002, Apr 7, 2017.

  1. Katiaaa002

    Katiaaa002 Member

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    Star USA: Your welcome dear! :)
    I am happy and glad that my words can make you feel better and help you through this very hard time! We're here for you! :love::love:

    See clearly: I know exactly what you mean! Honestly, signing in these forums helped and I felt less guilty. I used to feel ashamed and mad at myself! But talking to people who understand me and got through the same situation, really saved me! Very often I was afraid to be judged and even in front of my parents, I felt so ashamed... My mother could understand but it front of my dad it was really hard...!
    My rat was doing grocery shopping everyday and he bought more soda than water! So sometimes when I was super thirsty, I had to drink soda and he was nagging me, drinking the tunisian water! Why? Because I had to get fatter so I had to drink soda! Honnestly... He is mentally sick!

    Heidi: I will out them as well! And from now, each time I will go to Tunisia, I will be very careful and keep on talking and hanging out with them to get names and know some more about their methods to post everything here! :Ninja::p;)
     
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  2. Heidi

    Heidi The Sleuth

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    Oh dear, you got to be very, very carefull to do that :eek:
     
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  3. Katiaaa002

    Katiaaa002 Member

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    I have always been careful and I have always kept their names and methods in my head!
    The difference now is that I am able to help women from what I know! And of course, I will stop if it gets too bad!
     
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  4. black_angel

    black_angel Well-Known Member

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    Don't forget that most of all : you and your safety is the most important. Don't put yourself in a danger.
     
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  5. Katiaaa002

    Katiaaa002 Member

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    I will and never will put myself in danger for them :)
    This is what I've been doing for these past years but as I did not know these forums, I just kept everything in my head. But I have names, hôtels, methods they do. I have stories they tell me too with women, how they call them,... Why would I keep this for myself while I can help other women with m knowledge? If I see it gets to Dangerous, I will stop: of course!
     
  6. Heidi

    Heidi The Sleuth

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    It´s a rat tactic ;) The reason he tried to make you fat is simply, that he wanted you to be unattractive to boys in your home country, where he could not watch over you every second :whistle:
     
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  7. Katiaaa002

    Katiaaa002 Member

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    He knew that in my college some boys wanted to date me, indeed. He was always buying fat stuffs when I was there and forbad me to work out, can you believe?! Pizza, soda, biscuits! He was actually putting the biscuits directly into my mouth and I told him I was not hungry and did not want to eat biscuits but he was like "No no, eat please!". Ughhhhhh. When I came back, I had gained 2 kilos actually: I can't believe how much I would have gained if I has stayed longer! The makeup and the whole covering thing was to make me look as discreet and unattractive as possible. I am sure that he would have ended up asking to cover my hair as well as he had already told me about this!
     
  8. Liona

    Liona Well-Known Member

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    May be one more reason is they prefer not slim girls ;).
     
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  9. Katiaaa002

    Katiaaa002 Member

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    Women there are not super slim so this is another reason I guess! ;) But, when someone truly loves you, he should accept you the way you are: with your flaws, your shape, your hair or whatever. He knew how I looked like and I am not super skinny: I am just fit. He just had to accept me the way I was. I did not want to get fatter but I actually did gain weight for him. And the way he was persecuted me to put on weight was really crazy! Even though he prefered thick girls, the way he was behaving, and everything he was telling me and doing had another goal too- which was to make me look and feel unattractive.
     
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  10. Heidi

    Heidi The Sleuth

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    Don´t get me wrong. I´m not saying that there aren´t tunisian men who like big girls. I´m saying that it´s a rat tactic, if he tries to stuff you
     
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  11. Mango Chutney

    Mango Chutney Well-Known Member

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    Now this sounds oh, so familiar!! The trying to force feed, the clothes, the no male friends...all of it! The control is abnormal, yet their own unmarried girls usually dress so cheap!
    I lost twenty nine kilos through stress with rat!! :eek: I got so, so thin, which he hated, I didn't like being so thin in the end either, I didn't look like me, but now....I'm turning into my happy, chunky monkey again :) You be the shape and size that makes you happy, eat what you want, wear what you want, see who you want....freedom rocks!!
     
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  12. Mango Chutney

    Mango Chutney Well-Known Member

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    They like big booties and big boobs! I swear my boobs turned into pancakes after living with freak face! Unmarried, Tunisian girls are usually paper thin!
     
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  13. Katiaaa002

    Katiaaa002 Member

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    Hahahahaha this is so true Mango! He was all the time checking on my butt because he was comparing me to those girls from the US rappers' music videos and was like "Fatter! Fatter!'. I can remember one day I sent him a photo and the ony thing he said was "Have you lost some weight? Your butt looks thinner than when you visited me!" and I was like whaaaaaaaaat?!
    I was so stressed as well that I barely ate and I lost these 2 kilos back to my country after visiting him! I was literally sending him photos of my food so he could be 'happy' to see I was obeying! "You eat 2 pancakes in the morning? Eat 4! Eat potatoes, pizzas, hamburgers, pasta! Eat a looooot! Eat anything you want but get fat!" His goal was that I reach 10/15 kilos...!!
    Freedom tastes so good and I appreciate it even more than before as I got through this! I feel so thankful to be able to eat what I want, to dress the way I want and to go out when I want with who I want!
     
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  14. Heidi

    Heidi The Sleuth

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    and they believe that the fat food goes just to your boobs and booties :eek: 24.gif
     
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  15. Katiaaa002

    Katiaaa002 Member

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    Hahahahhaa it looks like they do! They are so stupid! hahahaha
     
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  16. Amira

    Amira Well-Known Member

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    These men like all kinds of women as long as they have money. They take advantage of both young and older women as long as they get something in Return.
     
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  17. Amira

    Amira Well-Known Member

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    If they see that you are unsure of yourself and have a soft heart then you are at risk. They will exploit the situation.
     
  18. see clearly

    see clearly Well-Known Member

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    I wouldn't go back Hun just leave forget and walk away anything could happen you may even lose your life or be injured
     
  19. RatBitten

    RatBitten Active Member

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    I know it seems like the healing process is slow, but it WILL happen! I found out I was married to a rat after I came upon this website in January. It's been been about 3 months, and I still think about him every day....but instead of dwelling on him for 16-18 hours a day I know think of him for a few minutes at a time. Sometimes I still shed a tear at night, but it's a couple of tears once or twice a week instead of sobbing every night.
    A few things helped me. Support groups like this one, groups on Facebook, seeing a psychiatrist and reconnecting with friends and families my rat had isolated me from have brought back the person I used to be.
    My rat stole SO much from me, but I cannot let him keep taking away more every day. My peace, happiness, sanity are all things he has no right to take.
     
  20. Mango Chutney

    Mango Chutney Well-Known Member

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    I love this positive post, RB :) Our peace, happiness and sanity are temporarily misplaced whilst in a rat relationship, but they sure come back to us. What's money hey, material possessions? They're just nothing, it's those examples you've given that matter...the feelings inside of us, the people around us...they are everything. My recovery was just like RB's, Star, it was a slow, gradual process until eventually...the thoughts of him just dwindled to nothing, they didn't dominate my every thought...this will happen to you too :) My thoughts now are almost business like, they're focused solely on facts, figures and educating people on bezness, culture etc...there is no emotion now, I can just write all this stuff with no emotional impact at all. My Tunisian life seems very surreal now that my recovery has progressed so far.
     
  21. see clearly

    see clearly Well-Known Member

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    You are so strong and big hugs to you im sure we have all had those tears in the night and horrible feelings of worthlessness and feeling stupid ( i speak for myself as to the worthless and stupid ) . The relationship was a high a false one i knew but i took it anyway and oh my what a low . facebook is a bastard for seeing all their beeming faces and on the face of it perfect luxury lives . Ive closed my facebook cant take it anymore time to forget to move on - what was there for me to like anyway? It was just status and looking like i had a glamorous life to my friends who had written me of as boring and an odd ball. Im forgetting but im so slow at getting over things and its been one disaster after another with men !!! It must have been hell to have got as far as marraige or children and then find out.This is a good site its kept me sane many a time and i love it and love the members ( the non rat ones lol ) hugs xxxx
     
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  22. see clearly

    see clearly Well-Known Member

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    Im glad i made you feel better i have not admitted anything to my mum my dad or my brother although i nearly broke down once and said ive done something really stupid but she didnt push me on it. My brother concluded if become a drug addict and thats where my money had gone - nice !!! idiot !!
     
  23. see clearly

    see clearly Well-Known Member

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    I can't remember who said it but it has helped me so much I repeat it almost daily "finances will improve " and they do slowly hopefully. Xx
     
  24. RatBitten

    RatBitten Active Member

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    They do, with some work. I've become frugal, and am trying to dig myself out of a mountain of debt. Baby steps, dear.
     
  25. see clearly

    see clearly Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for that I do feel the strain at times. I was in a mountain of debt before I began this rat issue. Slowly slowly dealing with it. My mums helped a lot and I feel so guilty as she doesn't know why . I did what I could sold house got a smaller one (thankfully I like it ! ). No maintenance costs at least . The last house I put so much money into in renovations. I have everything I need nothing needs doing except occasional coat of paint lol. I wasn't particularly materialistic anyway that's why I have so much. Really need to try get dating again but I'm petrified lol . I saw one guy in between rat breakups and I was so awful to him as I was still in love with rat. But he was gorgeous but too young he wasn't a rat but but too many rat similarities and although small scale he never paid for anything. Hope you are recovering ok from your experiences cx
     

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