Idiot

AnnieAnon

Active Member
They are such horrible, evil people! These rats are going to burn in Hell one day. They think that Allah will forgive them for anything, but their abuses of nice people are heartless. Karma WILL come to these evil monsters! Stay strong and never give your rat another dollar! The using bastard needs to be named and shamed to warn other potential victims. You will recover from him but it will happen over time. It took me one year to get over Abdelhak. You have to rediscover yourself. Best wishes to you!
He really does deserve to be named and shamed, the problem is he has no shame, the women he has he tells them stories so I would be painted out to be the jealous ex. It’s not worth naming him, I did last time and got a lot of shit from him for doing so.
Even if a victim was to come forward, I now have no proof of anything because I deleted everything from my phone, I don’t want to find a single trace of him.
He always goes off with women and comes back to me when it doesn’t work out, I don’t want anymore of this hell this is why I have gone public with my story.
I blocked him yesterday and I’m finding it so hard not to hit the unblock button, my heart needs answers but my mind knows I never get any, I left him for 2 months earlier this year, I was ok until he started begging by text again and threatening suicide, the minute I came back he didn’t even bother with me! I know this is all a game it’s a game to see if I will keep going back and this time I’m determined not to do so. Yesterday was meant to be our “anniversary” he messaged me good morning and that’s when I decided to block him. We fell out earlier this week and he would repeatedly say it’s days until our anniversary we have been together so long there is no other women, the day before he said he hated every year spent with me and I wasted his time, then disappeared all night,then the good morning message yesterday, I had enough my mind can’t take more.
 

Sandra

Well-Known Member
They are such horrible, evil people! These rats are going to burn in Hell one day. They think that Allah will forgive them for anything, but their abuses of nice people are heartless. Karma WILL come to these evil monsters! Stay strong and never give your rat another dollar! The using bastard needs to be named and shamed to warn other potential victims. You will recover from him but it will happen over time. It took me one year to get over Abdelhak. You have to rediscover yourself. Best wishes to you!
I agree with you..I get so fucking angry becuse these fucking monsters can do this all the time..FUCK THEM!!
 

Judithlyn

Rat Expert
He really does deserve to be named and shamed, the problem is he has no shame, the women he has he tells them stories so I would be painted out to be the jealous ex. It’s not worth naming him, I did last time and got a lot of shit from him for doing so.
Even if a victim was to come forward, I now have no proof of anything because I deleted everything from my phone, I don’t want to find a single trace of him.
He always goes off with women and comes back to me when it doesn’t work out, I don’t want anymore of this hell this is why I have gone public with my story.
I blocked him yesterday and I’m finding it so hard not to hit the unblock button, my heart needs answers but my mind knows I never get any, I left him for 2 months earlier this year, I was ok until he started begging by text again and threatening suicide, the minute I came back he didn’t even bother with me! I know this is all a game it’s a game to see if I will keep going back and this time I’m determined not to do so. Yesterday was meant to be our “anniversary” he messaged me good morning and that’s when I decided to block him. We fell out earlier this week and he would repeatedly say it’s days until our anniversary we have been together so long there is no other women, the day before he said he hated every year spent with me and I wasted his time, then disappeared all night,then the good morning message yesterday, I had enough my mind can’t take more.
This is such typical rat behavior and words. They do such damage to our heads, our bodies, our pocketbooks! They truly are lying, cheating, narcissistic psychopaths! Stay strong! Keep him deleted from your life and you will recover. It took me one year. I was a basket case! I’m so happy to be free though. I rediscovered my personality again. Yes, he had even stolen that! I laugh again! I enjoy life again! Give yourself plenty of time to grieve. You were together a long time so it will hurt, but you will recover and become even stronger for having survived the abuses from these monsters! Best wishes to you and I send you big hugs!
 

AnnieAnon

Active Member
This is such typical rat behavior and words. They do such damage to our heads, our bodies, our pocketbooks! They truly are lying, cheating, narcissistic psychopaths! Stay strong! Keep him deleted from your life and you will recover. It took me one year. I was a basket case! I’m so happy to be free though. I rediscovered my personality again. Yes, he had even stolen that! I laugh again! I enjoy life again! Give yourself plenty of time to grieve. You were together a long time so it will hurt, but you will recover and become even stronger for having survived the abuses from these monsters! Best wishes to you and I send you big hugs!
Thankyou so much for your kind words, I’m sat up here feeling to cry and then I read this! You have no idea how much these words mean right now xx Thankyou
 

Mango Chutney

Moderator
Staff member
Thankyou so much for your kind words, I’m sat up here feeling to cry and then I read this! You have no idea how much these words mean right now xx Thankyou
Annie, I’m off the forum for a bit bar pm....I need to just step back and gather my thoughts.....but I’m here for you :)

Me and you go back a long way here on the forum....I’ve always been so flattered you chose me for support....and I want you to know:

OH MY GOD, GIRL.....I AM SO FREAKIN PROUD OF YOU!!!!! :p

Woop woop....you’ve done it!!
You’ve actually done it!! You’ve put your story out there.....you have literally made my eyes well up :oops:

You go, girl!!!
He is a shameless, begging, racist hoe....and YOU, my friend, are a legend....and worthy of so much more than that skank :thumbsup:
 

AnnieAnon

Active Member
Annie, I’m off the forum for a bit bar pm....I need to just step back and gather my thoughts.....but I’m here for you :)

Me and you go back a long way here on the forum....I’ve always been so flattered you chose me for support....and I want you to know:

OH MY GOD, GIRL.....I AM SO FREAKIN PROUD OF YOU!!!!! :p

Woop woop....you’ve done it!!
You’ve actually done it!! You’ve put your story out there.....you have literally made my eyes well up :oops:

You go, girl!!!
He is a shameless, begging, racist hoe....and YOU, my friend, are a legend....and worthy of so much more than that skank :thumbsup:
I freaking luv you mango, honestly you have been a huge support for the longest time and honestly I thank you for it.
I got to the point yesterday I mentally couldn’t take more and felt the overwhelming need to post my story. You know how much this would have taken from me to do this but it has to be done, I actually feel like I am going nuts, but just from the comments on here I now see im
Not crazy or overthinking like I’ve been labelled for the past number of years by him. I hate him, but I hate who I have become because of him and it needs to change right now! He doesn’t give a shit and he never will, I blocked him yesterday mango and isn’t it convenient 10 minutes after I blocked him the cousin, that I am convinced he is screwing, put up a picture with the caption “hhhhh the jealous one has gone” and a middle finger emoji!! Well fuck them both she can continue to get done up the ass by him to protect her oh so precious fake hymen!
 

Megane

Well-Known Member
Thankyou so much for your kind words, I’m sat up here feeling to cry and then I read this! You have no idea how much these words mean right now xx Thankyou
AnnieAnon you said you felt ready to cry, I'm glad that Judiths lovely message helped you at that moment but don't hold them tears in. I cried rivers and it was such a release of all of the emotions that I'd been holding trying to be strong. Let them tears flow if you feel you need to because they too are a big part of the healing process.
 

AnnieAnon

Active Member
AnnieAnon you said you felt ready to cry, I'm glad that Judiths lovely message helped you at that moment but don't hold them tears in. I cried rivers and it was such a release of all of the emotions that I'd been holding trying to be strong. Let them tears flow if you feel you need to because they too are a big part of the healing process.
I have cried loads, the whole time I’ve known him has been an emotional rollercoaster, now I’ve cut all contact again I’m lost. I know I have to continue without him but it’s really hard
 

Megane

Well-Known Member
I have cried loads, the whole time I’ve known him has been an emotional rollercoaster, now I’ve cut all contact again I’m lost. I know I have to continue without him but it’s really hard
It is sweetie yes, theres so much silence and free time. I've always wondered why i stayed in a relationship where i cried much more than i ever laughed. I'm proud that you are being strong and i promise you that you will find a new and stronger version of you at the end of all this. Each day that you stay away from him you are taking back the control of your life and your future and happy times are ahead. We're all with you x
 

MH007

Administrator
Staff member
I have cried loads, the whole time I’ve known him has been an emotional rollercoaster, now I’ve cut all contact again I’m lost. I know I have to continue without him but it’s really hard
It's going to be hard REALLY hard as they literally take up all our emotions and time - it's a grieving process but ultimately it's now your healing process.

You will get there chick trust me.

Well done on taking your first and hardest step.

MH x
 

Brasilgirl

Senior Rat Expert
I have cried loads, the whole time I’ve known him has been an emotional rollercoaster, now I’ve cut all contact again I’m lost. I know I have to continue without him but it’s really hard
Hi
The best thing you can do right know is change things up in your life. Change your schedule. Do laundry on a different day. Spend more time making dinners. Try new recipes. Go for walks, even if only around the block. Maybe even get back into an old hobby or take up a new one. Visit relatives more often if that works. Declutter your home. Move your furniture around a bit. If you can fill your empty time with things you will think of him less. That will really help.
No matter what you do the emotional roller coaster will continue, but if you can keep busy, it is not as bad.
 

MH007

Administrator
Staff member
Hi
The best thing you can do right know is change things up in your life. Change your schedule. Do laundry on a different day. Spend more time making dinners. Try new recipes. Go for walks, even if only around the block. Maybe even get back into an old hobby or take up a new one. Visit relatives more often if that works. Declutter your home. Move your furniture around a bit. If you can fill your empty time with things you will think of him less. That will really help.
No matter what you do the emotional roller coaster will continue, but if you can keep busy, it is not as bad.
Or get a kitten - flippant comment I know but she has literally been my life saver.

You will get there chick and you will look back and think what the f**k was I thinking.

Hard to see just now I know and I PROMISE you will get there.

As @Brasilgirl said change your habits and as I say reach out - do not be scared of talking xxx

MH x
 

AnnieAnon

Active Member
Or get a kitten - flippant comment I know but she has literally been my life saver.

You will get there chick and you will look back and think what the f**k was I thinking.

Hard to see just now I know and I PROMISE you will get there.

As @Brasilgirl said change your habits and as I say reach out - do not be scared of talking xxx

MH x
I’m actually thinking of getting a new puppy this should keep me busy
 

Big Bang Theory

Senior Rat Expert
AnnieAnon you said you felt ready to cry, I'm glad that Judiths lovely message helped you at that moment but don't hold them tears in. I cried rivers and it was such a release of all of the emotions that I'd been holding trying to be strong. Let them tears flow if you feel you need to because they too are a big part of the healing process.
Absolutely. I cried buckets and I've never been a cryer.... at first I thought all this crying meant I was completely broken and had no control over myself and that made me cry more.

After a while I googled "why do we cry?" And the answer..... It's a physical release of stress from your body... so after that I just let myself cry as much as I could :)
 

MH007

Administrator
Staff member
Absolutely. I cried buckets and I've never been a cryer.... at first I thought all this crying meant I was completely broken and had no control over myself and that made me cry more.

After a while I googled "why do we cry?" And the answer..... It's a physical release of stress from your body... so after that I just let myself cry as much as I could :)
Gosh - let yourself cry don't ever feel weak or silly it's a form of recovery - smash your cheapest China or glass (don't hurt yourself) then turn to your nearest friend and cry your eyes out

I really wish I had a magic wand but you will get through this xxx
 

MH007

Administrator
Staff member
Thankyou so much for checking in on me, I’m doing ok I suppose, it’s a blessing my children are off school as they are keeping me busy.
I'm glad and it's important to keep busy but equally important for you to talk, laugh, cry and shout.

Please don't bottle things up - I did that and it caused more harm than good.

Feel free to PM me anytime or any other member then do - if you don't get a response straight away then I beg you to put a message in the forum asking someone to PM you.... There is always someone that will.

MH x
 

Mango Chutney

Moderator
Staff member
Thankyou so much for checking in on me, I’m doing ok I suppose, it’s a blessing my children are off school as they are keeping me busy.
Well this is how I feel about that situation.....can’t get them back quick enough :D

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That being said, I know what a distraction children are throughout recovery....how their innocent laughter and wacky comments make us giggle....so you enjoy this time :love:

Annie, you have already taken the two biggest steps on your road to recovery....you have dumped the rat and posted your story here. If you had the strength to take those two huge steps, you have the strength to continue.

Not one of us here is gonna lie and say recovery is easy, the truth is, it’s a living hell....but every day sees your struggle lessen.

If you need to cry....then cry. Laugh, rant, rage, beat the crap out of a cushion (probably best not in front of the kids :D ). You do whatever you need to do to release those emotions....because they are more harmful trapped inside. Let it all out. It’s not a weakness to release your emotions, but actually....it’s a strength :)
 

Laura2014

Moderator
Staff member
@AnnieAnon, it sounds like you are doing great even though is very tough. Just remember to step away from the Unblock button, no matter how much your curiosity gets to you.

Just think of all the things you can now buy for yourself and your children now you are not longer a personal benefits Agency for your rat.

The way he has treated you, betrayed you and abused your trust and love you owe him nothing. Those few sweet scripted words cost you a lot of money. As soon as he got the money you were back to zero, ignored, cheated on, blocked and so Friggin ungrateful. Let him rot. He’s taken seven years of your precious life. Don’t let him take another day.

You mentioned you were afraid of him? What is it you think he could do? He’s thousands of miles away with probably zero chance of getting out. What can he do to you. Don’t ever be afraid of him. He’s a weak pathetic nobody whose luck just ran out.
 

AmberHeart

Lady Amberheart of Gafsa
I have cried loads, the whole time I’ve known him has been an emotional rollercoaster, now I’ve cut all contact again I’m lost. I know I have to continue without him but it’s really hard
Let this be your motivation, being conscious he is not good for you, not making you feel happy, respected, empowered, motivated - L O V E D - then it is not worth it.
That “need” of him is related to lovebombing and time spent in contact - Trauma Bond - it isn’t a quick process but you’ll get there. Took me also a year to completely detox from him.
About to start a second Master degree the next week and ready to continue with life.
You know, we deserve better than all those tears, worries and ratty tales. Big hug
 

AnnieAnon

Active Member
You mentioned you were afraid of him? What is it you think he could do
I know it sounds ridiculous to be afraid of him but he is genuinely crazy, when I first wrote my story on here (around 4 years ago) the wife of his friend saw my post and reported it back to her husband, the husband then went on to inform him and I received hell for weeks after that, he kept on calling me repeatedly to abuse me, I blocked his number and he would call and message from different numbers, he called me a bitch, threatened that the friends he has over here will come and beat me up, called me every racist name you could think of. He then took it to social media and wrote to every male on my contact list, including my uncles and grandfather, slating me and asking if they are sexually involved with the bitch(me) and he would beat me and them up.
I remember I had also tried to reach out for help on 2 other pages on Facebook. One being a group for wives/gf of Tunisians, I left that group because the same woman screenshotted my post there and sent it to her husband too.
I was blocked from a bezness group at the time as well due to explaining on a post that the group was not safe to share personal information because people are sending screenshots to the rats they may know and admins at the time were doing nothing about it, despite seeing proof.
The friend who informed her husband, maybe she’s still here, and apparently that night she got a right beating from her husband as He was angry at the fact she was on these websites. Karma!
So although he is thousands of miles away, I don’t need the drama of what comes with naming him and this is why I am afraid.
 

Laura2014

Moderator
Staff member
I know it sounds ridiculous to be afraid of him but he is genuinely crazy, when I first wrote my story on here (around 4 years ago) the wife of his friend saw my post and reported it back to her husband, the husband then went on to inform him and I received hell for weeks after that, he kept on calling me repeatedly to abuse me, I blocked his number and he would call and message from different numbers, he called me a bitch, threatened that the friends he has over here will come and beat me up, called me every racist name you could think of. He then took it to social media and wrote to every male on my contact list, including my uncles and grandfather, slating me and asking if they are sexually involved with the bitch(me) and he would beat me and them up.
I remember I had also tried to reach out for help on 2 other pages on Facebook. One being a group for wives/gf of Tunisians, I left that group because the same woman screenshotted my post there and sent it to her husband too.
I was blocked from a bezness group at the time as well due to explaining on a post that the group was not safe to share personal information because people are sending screenshots to the rats they may know and admins at the time were doing nothing about it, despite seeing proof.
The friend who informed her husband, maybe she’s still here, and apparently that night she got a right beating from her husband as He was angry at the fact she was on these websites. Karma!
So although he is thousands of miles away, I don’t need the drama of what comes with naming him and this is why I am afraid.
Your message above clearly states every reason why you need this man out of your life. Unblocking him opens you up to this continued cycle of abuse. For you it’s an unwanted intrusion into your life, perpetuates the cycle of fear and dependency but for him it’s a few minutes out of his day to harass and intimidate you and play with your mind whilst merrily fishing for other victims. Every time you have an urge to unblock him please log in here instead. People here can support you until that urge passes. It is possible to live a rat free life.
 

AmberHeart

Lady Amberheart of Gafsa
I know it sounds ridiculous to be afraid of him but he is genuinely crazy, when I first wrote my story on here (around 4 years ago) the wife of his friend saw my post and reported it back to her husband, the husband then went on to inform him and I received hell for weeks after that, he kept on calling me repeatedly to abuse me, I blocked his number and he would call and message from different numbers, he called me a bitch, threatened that the friends he has over here will come and beat me up, called me every racist name you could think of. He then took it to social media and wrote to every male on my contact list, including my uncles and grandfather, slating me and asking if they are sexually involved with the bitch(me) and he would beat me and them up.
I remember I had also tried to reach out for help on 2 other pages on Facebook. One being a group for wives/gf of Tunisians, I left that group because the same woman screenshotted my post there and sent it to her husband too.
I was blocked from a bezness group at the time as well due to explaining on a post that the group was not safe to share personal information because people are sending screenshots to the rats they may know and admins at the time were doing nothing about it, despite seeing proof.
The friend who informed her husband, maybe she’s still here, and apparently that night she got a right beating from her husband as He was angry at the fact she was on these websites. Karma!
So although he is thousands of miles away, I don’t need the drama of what comes with naming him and this is why I am afraid.
Now I am absolutely infuriated towards that bastard. That is called BLACKMAIL, this is the reason why I stay so close in this site for this precise fear.
RAT-Lovers/enablers/fans/side chicks/ are a severe PROBLEM because they expose a victim to all this kind of unnecessary drama. Seems like their pleasure comes from observing others going through hell.
If you KNOW who are those friends or friend in your country that is supposed to go and beat you!!!! Report that freak of nature to your embassy and to your local police station. Take screenshots of every evidence you have, including those sent to your family. If they don’t have it ask them to write and sign it down to give as evidence and attach to the file. Those fucking rats have more to lose and you should be offered protection in your Nation.
So the same applies for that rat!!! Report him. He doesn’t have to know. It is something you do quietly just happen his data will be flagged and freak can’t go out of paradise. Big hugs and sorry but I can not be gentle towards ABUSERS.
 

Brasilgirl

Senior Rat Expert
I know it sounds ridiculous to be afraid of him but he is genuinely crazy, when I first wrote my story on here (around 4 years ago) the wife of his friend saw my post and reported it back to her husband, the husband then went on to inform him and I received hell for weeks after that, he kept on calling me repeatedly to abuse me, I blocked his number and he would call and message from different numbers, he called me a bitch, threatened that the friends he has over here will come and beat me up, called me every racist name you could think of. He then took it to social media and wrote to every male on my contact list, including my uncles and grandfather, slating me and asking if they are sexually involved with the bitch(me) and he would beat me and them up.
I remember I had also tried to reach out for help on 2 other pages on Facebook. One being a group for wives/gf of Tunisians, I left that group because the same woman screenshotted my post there and sent it to her husband too.
I was blocked from a bezness group at the time as well due to explaining on a post that the group was not safe to share personal information because people are sending screenshots to the rats they may know and admins at the time were doing nothing about it, despite seeing proof.
The friend who informed her husband, maybe she’s still here, and apparently that night she got a right beating from her husband as He was angry at the fact she was on these websites. Karma!
So although he is thousands of miles away, I don’t need the drama of what comes with naming him and this is why I am afraid.
That is horrible! I am glad you came back. You don’t have to reveal who he is. Some victims have held back outing their rat for safety or blackmail reasons. Sending you a big hug.
 
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