If I may put my two cents in.

Discussion in 'Ben's Corner' started by Goodoldchap, Jun 29, 2018.

  1. Goodoldchap

    Goodoldchap Active Member

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    Having been in a committed relationship with a western once before and having witnessed business in the making around me as a consequence, I created this thread to put my two cents and share my experience.
    I don't know exactly from where to start, but think this is the right highlighting for my thread. Questions are welcomed and I shall answer to the best of my effort. Hopefully I could manage in a realistic approach to put some hope out there that a genuine relationship with a Tunisian can still be a feasible thing.
    Implicit stereotypes shall be met with wit ;)
    Its been 6 years almost since last time I been on this forum and i miss the friends I made from here (simple, Laurence, Maccoineach, Tunisiansun, and many others. I hope they are still active members.
    This is it for now. I won't mind providing translations if needed and justified.
     
    Last edited: Jun 29, 2018
  2. Heidi

    Heidi The Sleuth

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    Quote
    "Story short, I had a 4 year relationship with an English tourist while I been away from here. Although it ended this relationship has taught me a lot that I believe will contribute to this forum.
    Reading on hotel infestation and witnessing it is very different. I realised not only rats conspire on each but some tourists does the same thing amongst each other for a rat. Many things I saw throughout those years that was an eye opener for sure.
    Many restaurant, hotel, bar staff automatically presume that I am doing business which is kind of insulting especially when they try to give advice! :mad: animation are much dirtier than I ever read"

    Quote
    "Its a school! Lessons are given for free and you will look like stupid to them not taking the advice they give you. After a while you start to get used to it. Even the taxi driver has got some to say about how I can do this.. If they ask me how long I been with her and I say 4 years they will be like: WHAT are you WAITING for its time you execute the plan she's supposed to trust you by now."

    So what happened with the English tourist?
     
  3. Goodoldchap

    Goodoldchap Active Member

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    She's living back home now and we stayed as distant friends. The geography was a major challenge. Neither of us could relocate. We both got our fingers burnt that way. Sad ending hey!
     
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  4. Heidi

    Heidi The Sleuth

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    Quote
    "I realised not only rats conspire on each but some tourists does the same thing amongst each other for a rat. Many things I saw throughout those years that was an eye opener for sure."

    What do you mean by that?
     
  5. Goodoldchap

    Goodoldchap Active Member

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    I mean certain friends of my ex who I met in sousse and they have stayed bit longer than she did had totally different things to say to me when my ex left home. "She's no good for you, she's got a kid she didn't even tell you (which turns out to be false), if i was her I would have put you in my bag and flew home....things like that. Then again I heard from my ex and seen with my own eyes how some tourists will try steal their friends men. Obviously there is quiet some backstabbing going on amongst these tourists who come spending holiday together. Its not the norm but its definitely happening . I think the rats are taking good advantage of such circumstances. Some tourists will also hold the rats secrets from their friend and be on the rat's side. Surely rats are are several steps head at cooperating with each other then foreign women do.
     
    Last edited: Jun 29, 2018
  6. Heidi

    Heidi The Sleuth

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    Those are just sex tourists, they are all over the world ;)
     
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  7. Goodoldchap

    Goodoldchap Active Member

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    In disguise.
     
  8. Goodoldchap

    Goodoldchap Active Member

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    These tourists have no stickers on their foreheads that they are no good just like Tunie men. It goes both ways. I was lucky enough that my ex wasn't that kind. I used to jokingly tell her that she could make friends with jack the reaper and she won't notice lol I am no better at judging the good ppl from bad either:confused:
     
    Last edited: Jun 29, 2018
  9. Heidi

    Heidi The Sleuth

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    :thumbsup:
     
  10. Mango Chutney

    Mango Chutney Well-Known Member

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    Why did you choose to have a relationship with no future with an English woman, instead of with a Tunisian girl?
    How do we justify needing a translation?
     
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  11. Goodoldchap

    Goodoldchap Active Member

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    I loved her, its that simple. I thought there must be a way it could work out. Guess not.
    For to invade someone's private life reading their personal business it must be for a good reason. That's what's I meant by justified. I wouldn't think its right to just scroll someone's conversations if there was no need for that . I wouldn't want that for myself. Neither would you. Rats and potential rats are the exception.
     
  12. Mango Chutney

    Mango Chutney Well-Known Member

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    Well, I have no issue with who reads my stuff...I have nothing to hide.

    If a translation is asked for, please do understand it's because it's a rat.....we don't waste our time sprawling through the kazillions of Tunisian FB accounts of normal folk.
    If I need a translation, I will not always back it up with a background story, as sometimes, I have translations done for other people....and it's paramount they trust me...so I will continue to get my translations done elsewhere, so that I am not required to betray a trust.
     
  13. Goodoldchap

    Goodoldchap Active Member

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    I'll do it.
     
  14. Myriam

    Myriam Well-Known Member

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    Goodoldchap, you had another pseudo when you were here formerly?
     
  15. Goodoldchap

    Goodoldchap Active Member

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  16. Mango Chutney

    Mango Chutney Well-Known Member

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    Why? Is your old account banned?
     
  17. Goodoldchap

    Goodoldchap Active Member

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    First my password was changed without my approval. Then I received complains at that period to my email. Ever since then I couldn't log in but I didn't bother with it no more. I lost control on my WhatsApp too and smth similar happenedon there too. Back then i just deleted the email (it sounded like a good idea at the time) AMD didn't bother myself mke anew account in TLR. I don't think its banned I just lost the keys to it.
     
  18. Mango Chutney

    Mango Chutney Well-Known Member

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    Ok :thumbsup:
     
  19. Goodoldchap

    Goodoldchap Active Member

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    I come from a traditional and conservative family. They opposed the relationship and was never going to accept the age gap. I got to the point where I fell out with my family for the sake of meeting her still. I knew it was dead end yet I couldn't convince myself to just give up on us. I always thought there will be a way we could make a life together. After struggling for 4 years and getting unto the 5th that day never came and we were both left drained and frustrated.
     
  20. Mango Chutney

    Mango Chutney Well-Known Member

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    How big was the age gap? I will assume she was older. You always thought you could make a life together where?
     
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  21. Amira

    Amira Well-Known Member

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    Understand how you have it. But if you find yourself a girl from your own country, it is easier to avoid misunderstandings and conflicts about the language as well. I'm like you and I also think it's exciting with other cultures but there are several drawbacks when you find one from another country. Language, culture, traditions. Traditions and language can be difficult and if you do not understand what is being said then it's easy to be tricked. You have to help each other in good and bad days yes, but if your help comes only from one party you get tired. Trust is and honesty is great in a relationship. Of course, one must also help each other with the economy but if the other party never has money and the one who has the most money has to pay for all bills etc, that does not make the relationship better. Everyone is not a prominent rat in Tunisia but I think many Tunisian young boys take advantage of ladies to get a better life and what scares me most is that their family is in it. It is a doble game .
     
  22. Heidi

    Heidi The Sleuth

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    When does the hopefull stuff start trippel.gif
     
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  23. Goodoldchap

    Goodoldchap Active Member

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    Am 27 in august she's 37 so 10 years difference. At first I thought of the chance that she could live with me here. It sounded like a good idea at the time then we realised how difficult it can be with my family putting pressure ( forcing me to choose them or her). Ppl's stereotype is another thing too. We knew we couldn't just keep meeting many times a year with no solid plan. We started thinking of relocating somewhere where we both can live (eastern Europe was a start). I started looking for work contracts abroad (commercial beekeeper assistant) and found a few employers in Canada and (more so in Australia) willing to hire me but the paper work was complicated and at some point I needed to fly to Egypt to accomplish the migrating procedure because Tunisia has no Australian embassy. I run short on money to do this. She tells me later there is no way she would relocate to Australia and will only relocate inside Europe. I think its only right I will want to live somewhere where I can be with person I love but also be able to have an acceptable career. Why not have both? I wasn't going to go live in eastern Europe sitting my are at home or doing cheap paying jobs and have her spending on me (what if we fell out one day while am there how will I be able to survive there. So I needed a good work contract as a condition for moving out and I found that in Canada and Australia but she won't go there. Few months later I applied for a cabin crew interview with Qatar airlines and came very close at getting the job. Somehow she was convinced that if I got the job me and her would end but I haven't even thought that. She said I couldn't have loved her that much if I wanted that job so much. Things took a bad turn ever since then and I didn't get the job.
     
  24. Goodoldchap

    Goodoldchap Active Member

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    Except that my family was against me and her. Plus I had an okay job (800 to 1400 dinar a month depending how many packages I sell). I didn't need her help financially. Yes I could have got with someone from here and I did after we broke up, but I loved her and before I loved her i thought she's a great catch and attractive. I loved her different mindset and how close we were. I never felt those 10 years difference. We just didn't think from beginning how to manage a future together and that's how we failed.
     
    Last edited: Jun 30, 2018
  25. Goodoldchap

    Goodoldchap Active Member

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    I get your point. I'm trying to say that the relationship was very right and healthy. The thing that made us fail was ££ nothing else. If we had the money to move out we would have been still together by now probably married.
    So leaving the money issue aside I think I did quiet OK as a bf, hence we are still friends. That's the sort of hope I'm trying to put out there!
     

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