IF ITS YOUR FIRST TIME HERE - READ THIS

babe

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Mar 13, 2017
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71
Welcome Babe, I'm pleased you are posting here and hope this post has been helpfuI. I don't think many Bezness victims will want to return any time soon, if ever, with or without the security problems. It can't help but to change the way you think about the 'friendly people'. Impossible to know who or what was genuine. Share your experience when ready it can help others visiting this site who have doubts.
I no not everyone is like this into BezNess but it as taught me a hard lesson I don't I will have much trust in any man I had 3 long term relationships here all turned out to be bastards I must attract these kind men but that's another story think it's time to give men up as a bad job I'm ok on my own .
 
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Laura2014

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Nov 10, 2014
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I no not everyone is like this into BezNess but it as taught me a hard lesson I don't I will have much trust in any man I had 3 long term relationships here all turned out to be bastards I must attract these kind men but that's another story think it's time to give men up as a bad job I'm ok on my own .
Three in Tunisia? Wow you really did give them the benefit of the doubt. I only had one and I ran for the hills....
 

babe

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Mar 13, 2017
Messages
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Three in Tunisia? Wow you really did give them the benefit of the doubt. I only had one and I ran for the hills....
No Laura not 3 in Tunisia here in England was married and divorced then my nxt turned out alcoholic and the last who I was with for 2 years thought I was a doormat it took along time to leave him but as they say tunisia it's life Im being to sound like a right sad old cow .
 

Laura2014

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No Laura not 3 in Tunisia here in England was married and divorced then my nxt turned out alcoholic and the last who I was with for 2 years thought I was a doormat it took along time to leave him but as they say tunisia it's life Im being to sound like a right sad old cow .
Oh my mistake, sorry. No you are not sad at all, you have had some horrible experiences, many of us also had and then we met someone who at face value seemed a nice person. But sadly they often have two three or multiple faces.
 

babe

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Mar 13, 2017
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Oh my mistake, sorry. No you are not sad at all, you have had some horrible experiences, many of us also had and then we met someone who at face value seemed a nice person. But sadly they often have two three or multiple faces.
To right never mind time for bed speak soon x
 

Liona

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Sep 18, 2016
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2,790
I no not everyone is like this into BezNess but it as taught me a hard lesson I don't I will have much trust in any man I had 3 long term relationships here all turned out to be bastards I must attract these kind men but that's another story think it's time to give men up as a bad job I'm ok on my own .
Hello @babe and welcome.
I must attract these kind men- I said the same about myself:).
it's time to give men up as a bad job- Just give up this type of men:), because I am sure you deserve the genuine one.
 

babe

Member
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Mar 13, 2017
Messages
71
Hello @babe and welcome.
I must attract these kind men- I said the same about myself:).
it's time to give men up as a bad job- Just give up this type of men:), because I am sure you deserve the genuine one.
Hi and thanx at the moment I can't be bothered to enter any kind of relationship I'm so passed with myself for letting this happen I'm ok on my own x
 

Liona

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Sep 18, 2016
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2,790
Hi and thanx at the moment I can't be bothered to enter any kind of relationship I'm so passed with myself for letting this happen I'm ok on my own x
Yes, it's great. It's important to concentrate about yourself now.
 

magic

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Mar 11, 2015
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2,272
Hi and thanx at the moment I can't be bothered to enter any kind of relationship I'm so passed with myself for letting this happen I'm ok on my own x
Hi ,and welcome, iim a little confused..... did u encounter a rat ?
 

Mango Chutney

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Aug 29, 2015
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Yes I did a Bezness rat more like that's how I'm feeling just now
You're in the right place, babe. These rats really are something else, aren't they :rolleyes: Keep reading around, clarity really does help. Stay with us, it does get easier :)
 
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Laura2014

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Welcome, I'm writing this to help you find your way around this site. Had I known how to use it I would have found the crucial information I was looking for much earlier.

So make a coffee, settle down and begin reading and I apologise for the long post.

Firstly become a member, you can access more information that way, don't use your own name or picture, once a member you can use the SEARCH which is three small dots on the right hand side. ...

If you are looking here then you may have met someone on holiday, on line, or through someone else or have a friend you are concerned about or just curious.

You may already have some doubts. Follow your instinct, its rarely wrong and if someone else has guided you here do please listen to them.

Search, names, nicknames, places, resort names, hotel names, ages, coffee house names, dates, months anything that may link to your rat. If you can find friends of his on Facebook check the links and likes.

I only looked for names and places and I missed a vital post, so think laterally and keep checking.

Keep checking the gallery for new pictures, or google his name/names. They all use two or three names.

Remember this is an open forum anything you post is PUBLIC so if in doubt anonymise or send a private message to another well known member by creating a conversation, but be candid and cautious. Read posts first so you know who has the most knowledge and experience.
Try a moderator or admin first.
Be cautious of male profiles here as many are male Tunisians checking here or fans, people who follow rats and report back or even defend them. Used trusted members.

SO YOU HAVE A DOUBT: a gut feeling.

What I say now may seem very cynical and it may be hard to believe of the person you have met and like, maybe even feel you love. In 99.9% this is a one sided relationship. Hard facts but true. When he looks in your eyes he sees dollars, pounds and Euros.

Hold that thought in your mind. They cast their net very wide in the hope of catching a big fish, they will keep the small fish dangling in case the big catch does not pay off. It's common to have several fish at the same time. If you think it's not possible that he could say the same things to someone else, think again, they can and frequently do and he probably is right now.

LOVE BOMBING : when you first meet, in person or on line it's lovely, friendly, interested in you, paying you compliments, keeping in contact, saying how much they like you, your not like anyone else they have met, your nice, normal, they enjoy talking. Soon you are looking forward to the contact, it's reliable, always happy to hear from you, it grows in regularity and intensity, becomes more affectionate, gradually, subtly, you start to think about a possible meeting, a future, fantasies begin, a lovely romantic life, rescuing him, this man has a hard life, finds comfort in talking to you. It's a well trodden path and a well used script. The main thing we all have in common is that we all fell for it at some stage. Some got out quickly, some of us lingered, most of us got hurt, humiliated and let down.

Can it really be all LIES?

YES YES YES , if you read here and look at past posts there are NO LIMITS. They will and do lie about everything. They lie on line and to your face, they lie about circumstances, family, finances, jobs, education, nationality, health, marriage, children anything at all.

If you are already thinking, no, it's not possible, he's so genuine, please please think again.

Start from the premise that everything is a lie and work backwards.

Common lies:

I lost my phone, lost my job, my mother, father, any family member is very sick, has cancer, has even died multiple times. They may have been mugged, in a car accident or have a sad tale about a dead fiancé or wife.
They may actually be already married, or engaged and be meeting several women in the resort at the same time, they will certainly be talking to other women on line. NEVER EVER THINK that's it's not possible, it is.

THERE ARE NO LIMITS, nothing they will not say or do to meet their objective. It's not personal, it's just BEZNESS

MONEY AND GIFTS:

It may not happen straight away, it may not happen at all, although this is rare. There may be hints about how little he has, how hard it is for the family to find enough money for food or to pay household bills, hospital fees. He may not have money to go to the coffee so can't contact you, not enough money for even a few cigarettes, no money in his pucket.... needs a dentist, You may feel sorry for him, after all what's £10 or £20 to you, you can probably afford it, but from this moment on you will never ever know, once you give money all is lost, because it will become a frequent occurrence and you will want to help. A new phone because his is lost, a laptop to keep in touch, money for taxi, the bus is never good enough, especially if it's raining.

Just a few gifts my love, perfume, jeans, trainers are a must, they all need lots of trainers for all the walking they never do. Then larger amounts, money to buy themselves out of the army, to pay fathers operation, to buy a sheep for Eid, to pay for a visa permit or flight. If you don't give, why? you have plenty, I have nothing.

I will pay you back..... Don't hold your breath, I'm a good guy I only ask because it's emergency, I feel shame when I ask or take from my parents, they have nothing.

In rare cases they ask for nothing, in fact may even buy you gifts, flowers on arrival, they might even pay for meals or coffee, but be sure someone else has funded this. A rats pockets are very deep and they rarely if ever part with their own money. Someone else has sent this and it's deemed by him and his friends to be worth the investment. Whatever the reason for the request it will be tragic, sad, desperate. Your refusal or or hesitation will lead to the silent treatment. In most cases it will come, usually after a few weeks or months when you are already hooked. In the handbook of Bezness its chapter 2, a test to see if money will be forthcoming, an indicator of the future reward for the investment of time now.

The Silent Treatment, is all about raising your anxiety. Messages go unanswered or unread, suddenly loss of contact, on line but not responding. What's happened, what's wrong, is he sick, has he met someone else, eventually, No no my love I was sick, family was sick, uncle die, lose my phone, no money for Internet, but once they see it worried you it will happen frequently.

HIS FRIENDS AND FAMILY:
Never think what you say is private. Everything is shared with trusted friends, friends who do the same, sharing hints about what works, sharing messages when they don't understand the words, sharing pictures, friends will even write replies for them. You may notice sometimes their language skills are better or worse than last time. Think about who is replying. THERE ARE NO LIMITS.

I LOVE YOU:
Professing love, you are my life, you are best for me, until I met you my life was bad, my family love you, I want to be with you. I want to take care of you. I want to be married with you, I don't like kids, I don't like Tunisian women, they are hard, materialistic, I hate Tunisia, it's not a good life, I want to be free, live with you in your country, I give you a good life, together we can make a business there, or better still together we can make a business in Tunisia. A business you will pay for but never own and never see make a profit. A car my love, it's essential I have car for business. ITS ALL RUBBISH. THERE ARE NO LIMITS

WHO ARE YOU: why you?
You may be young and pretty, young and not so pretty, older and pretty or not so pretty, thin or big, look older look younger, blonde or dark haired. It does not matter, you are a means to an end. You are the way to a visa, or to pay for an expensive wedding to their Tunisian habibi, to buy or build a house, to fund an easy life, buy nice clothes, but you are NOT their future. You are a means to improving their circumstances.

The long haul: THERE ARE NO LIMITS, you may think after one, two even three years, that it's now genuine. But the rat will stick with you for a long long long time. The average age to marry in Tunisia has risen to mid to late thirties, so they will be happy to stick with you (and others alongside you) for years as a means of saving for a better life. There are three women to every man in Tunisia, they can have their pick, mothers are desperate to marry off their daughters. There is no shortage of young women and they all want to be married. Traditions run very very deep. It's exceptional to marry outside of Tunisia and to marry someone older is very unusual and generally unacceptable.

So a young girl likes his posts, frequently puts romantic symbols on Facebook, it's just my cousin my love, just simple talk. The reality is that cousins are the first choice for marriage, there may even be a long term understanding that they are promised to each other but not yet engaged. So never be taken in my it's just someone in my family. It's likely to be a cousin who is patiently waiting in the wings.

REMEMBER, his long term goals are modest, the ultimate goal is to marry a Tunisian girl, preferably a Virgin, preferably a younger cousin, to provide a home, a nice wedding and a car to drive his new growing family around. They need you and others like you to fund this.

What they want to know about you?

Do you have your own house, job, pension, car, family, children, how many holidays you have, what you have in your home, all these things are indicators about how big a catch you are.

Common strategies: going silent, ignoring your calls messages. It's all part of the game, making you dependant.

Or

Constant messaging, this may seem flattering but it's to ensure you are kept occupied, that you are his No 1 and no one else talks to you. You are an investment so he won't like anyone else in the picture.

Controlling you, who you see, talk too, where you go, what you wear, even what you spend. Wanting to know where you are, where you are going, who your with, it's all part of the game. Imagine you are a number in a black book, your name and details written beside it, making sure when he calls or messages you he remembers which one you are or he will never use your name, always Babi, my love, just to be sure he makes no mistakes.

THERE ARE OTHERS, you won't want to believe it but those lovely words he said to you were cut and pasted, repeated and regurgitated, borrowed from friends, copied from a Bezness site.

Come to visit my love, stay with my family, they will love you the way I do. This is an absolute No, it's never acceptable to stay with a Tunisian man in his family home. If you do, beware the kind sister who befriends you, she may actually be his wife, content to watch him romance you for the benefits you may bring them. Please remember, THERE ARE NO LIMITS, it has happened many times.

How many Facebook accounts does one person need?

How many Skype accounts, how many dating sites, learn how to search.

That's a whole new thread, but there are many ways to get information. Take screen shots of messages and screen shots of lists of friends from Facebook.

Above all FOLLOW YOUR INSTINCTS, if you are here you already have doubts, listen to them, read everything and don't dismiss anything and NEVER EVER THINK ITS NOT POSSIBLE .... It sadly is.

Good luck and keep reading.
I see a lot of new members so am just bumping this thread, please read it if you are new here.
 

see clearly

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Jul 11, 2016
Messages
1,204
My Rat said this to me after the second time we talked on Facebook: "u have house and car and money?"
lol i had similar. But he really didnt seem to grasp the concept of having a mortgage. To him ( them maybe ) you HAVE a house!! you live in it so it is your house ( the mortgage doesnt even register ) or even car on loan you HAVE car and so on and so on. Ridiculously and naively i once tried to write down what comes in and what goes out and its all relative . Yes 2000 euros looks alot maybe but once everything paid loans etc etc etc only 200 Euro maybe left then things come up big purchase needed something break your car your washer and so on not to mention the rat holidays . I recall mine feeling the quality of the material of the dress i had on assessing it all the time. Initially the questions what do you do for job and so on. Im so mad at myself but i have to forgive myself at some point learn and move on. :Cry::Cry:
 

Mango Chutney

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lol i had similar. But he really didnt seem to grasp the concept of having a mortgage. To him ( them maybe ) you HAVE a house!! you live in it so it is your house ( the mortgage doesnt even register ) or even car on loan you HAVE car and so on and so on. Ridiculously and naively i once tried to write down what comes in and what goes out and its all relative . Yes 2000 euros looks alot maybe but once everything paid loans etc etc etc only 200 Euro maybe left then things come up big purchase needed something break your car your washer and so on not to mention the rat holidays . I recall mine feeling the quality of the material of the dress i had on assessing it all the time. Initially the questions what do you do for job and so on. Im so mad at myself but i have to forgive myself at some point learn and move on. :Cry::Cry:
Mine was the same, all they see is that we have 'stuff', there's no acknowledgement of the years spent educating ourselves for good employment, in those years, we went without, studied hard, had barely a social life, just so we could educate ourselves for good employment. There is no acknowledgement of the amount of hours we've had to work, how hard we've had to save to get these things, they think it's easy in our countries, that things are just handed to us....makes me so angry! They don't see who we are inside, what we look like and our efforts, all they see is what we have, how much we are worth financially....I've truly never known such lazy, materialistic people....who think they can just scam what we've strived hard for :Evil:
I tried to explain general living expenses to Houssem, I didn't allow for little extras like the cooker breaking, car needing an MOT etc, I just explained the daily/monthly regular bills etc, he just didn't get it, he thinks because I own a house, a car, have holidays and the like, that I'm minted! :D These people are eaten up on the inside with greed and envy over what we have....and they are too lazy to work for! But hey ho, if you don't want to work, no worries, our government give it all to us for free! :D
Must write to Theresa May and thank her for the quality of life that her government and others have apparently just handed to me for freeeeeee!! :rolleyes:
 

ijs

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Joined
Aug 25, 2015
Messages
883
there's no acknowledgement of the years spent educating ourselves for good employment, in those years, we went without, studied hard, had barely a social life, just so we could educate ourselves for good employment.
No knowledge or understanding of why some of us didn't get married and/or have kids
 

see clearly

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Joined
Jul 11, 2016
Messages
1,204
Mine was the same, all they see is that we have 'stuff', there's no acknowledgement of the years spent educating ourselves for good employment, in those years, we went without, studied hard, had barely a social life, just so we could educate ourselves for good employment. There is no acknowledgement of the amount of hours we've had to work, how hard we've had to save to get these things, they think it's easy in our countries, that things are just handed to us....makes me so angry! They don't see who we are inside, what we look like and our efforts, all they see is what we have, how much we are worth financially....I've truly never known such lazy, materialistic people....who think they can just scam what we've strived hard for :Evil:
I tried to explain general living expenses to Houssem, I didn't allow for little extras like the cooker breaking, car needing an MOT etc, I just explained the daily/monthly regular bills etc, he just didn't get it, he thinks because I own a house, a car, have holidays and the like, that I'm minted! :D These people are eaten up on the inside with greed and envy over what we have....and they are too lazy to work for! But hey ho, if you don't want to work, no worries, our government give it all to us for free! :D
Must write to Theresa May and thank her for the quality of life that her government and others have apparently just handed to me for freeeeeee!! :rolleyes:
Im glad im not the only one who tried to explain . lol i had a list quantified ( as i know how much financial shit im in i know it off by heart ) They dont see it or just dont care . hugs x
 

Liona

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Sep 18, 2016
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2,790
No knowledge or understanding of why some of us didn't get married and/or have kids
They are sure we have been just waiting for them, "rat-princes" all this time.:D:D:D
 
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see clearly

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Jul 11, 2016
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The obsession with breeding is frightening !! if they dont have the resources . I think maybe its kind of insurance that someone will look after you maybe but still it seems like one after the other. I know im generalizing but there does seem to be more like 5 or 6 than 1 or 2 .
 
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