Discussion in 'Rat Behavior' started by Laura2014, Sep 15, 2016.
I still need it. Because I have my "moments".
will always need TLR , for me i will always have the effect meeting my rat and the consequences. Like a death you never really get over it but it can be softened at the edges . Im happy for anyone who can and does manage to obliterate their experience from their future we are all different but this has been the best counselling support etc ive ever discovered and free. I dont d too well talking about my issues one on one in typical traditional counselling .
Thank you SC.
I'm just having a "weak" moment" right now.
I think the forum will start getting busy again from february after the english start returning again
Always remember, JF and SC, you are not machines, you are human beings with loyalty, honesty, compassion, sympathy, consideration, empathy and a heart. You are good people
Rats do not have these things, that is why they can move from victim to victim and their only pain is that their quest for greed was not achieved, it's easy for them to move on, they work solely on mechanics, not on feelings like normal people.
It's impossible for us to ever 100% get our heads round the way we were treated, this is solely because we would never dream of using and destroying good people the way they did us. This makes us good people, the fact that yes, we can understand the technical aspects of a rat, but never the insides of somebody so cold, cruel and calculating.
I always suggest that we really educate ourselves on Bezness, Islam, Tunisian culture and narcissism....I will also add inbreeding to that.....by understanding completely what was done to us and accepting that we were not to blame, we are not stupid....we can accelerate our recovery, which in my opinion, will never be complete, we will never be exactly who we were before rat.....but our newfound personality traits are not necessarily a bad thing, just additions to our already awesome personalities!
I stick with this site out of a fierce sense of loyalty to those that helped me and out of sheer feelings of anger towards this scam that completely destroys good people, but you know what, sometimes I still have the odd, fleeting moments of disbelief myself too, sometimes I still need the occasional 'Pick me up, I'm flagging' moment, shhhhhh
None of us are robots....but we're pretty damn awesome people....because we survived Bezness, whoop whoop!!
Ah, the sealed lip syndrome.
I will get back up eventually....*sigh*
You sure will! I'd be more concerned if you were not having the odd wobble
Awww sweetheart i feel for you. I think most here know the pain . The depression can be terrible. One day you will think to yourself that you havnt thought about your rat all day. And one day you willl wonder why you wasted your thoughts on him. Try distract yourself if you can, get out go to gym, take up a class , dont i repeat do not stay in bed self-medicating like i did. A ) i nearly killed myself ( accidentally ) and b) i nearly lost my job and still living with the consequences. Your welcome to pm me any time . Ive cried ive wept buckets . I dont love my rat anymore but im finding it hard to move on im numb but i had sort of a good ish time with someone else ( although i couldn't wait to see th eback of him ) but it was a start. Be patient with yourself imagine most here had a crying year !!!! or more or a depressed year or more . Stay with TLR your welcome to PM if you want a personal chat. I cant say i have the answers but i lived to tell the tale and i feel sort of ok now but not fully healed . It does get better . Take care big hugs and also pls note i may be sleeping soon no offence but i will reply asap. Im knackerd today hugs xxx
Thank you for your support. No mere words can express my gratitude from here.
We are all here for you chick. You should have seen how off the wall i went at times. Thankfully those times were patiently listened to by wonderful members on here . I was in total flight or fight mode at times exhausted, paranoid, depressed, lost , demoralised. These rats just dont care the pain they inflict by their actions but one thing to remember that helps me is not to measure your self worth by their treatment . Self-worth for me was the killer. Im not saying your the same but things will take time , you may relapse once twice several times i know i did and eventually i stopped sticking my hand in the fire and hopefully cut him out of my life just in time. BUt the damage is still done financially and emotionally . Hope your ok Jucy fruit it concerns me your avatar is no longer that free colourful butterfly. BUt mine was a cake with a dick on it for a while lool . Take care hun hugs xxxxx ps ive not been active so much on here a sive been very ill with multiple surgeries and fighting medics and pain and finding experts to deal with my condition ( there aint many ) and trying to keep my job etc etc . I went on my first date last week. It was ok but not earth shattering and im in love with the guy in the local shop ( although he doesn't know it lool ) far too young for me lool but i guess he knows a si go all red when he talks to me lool. Ah life eh ??? crazy
@BrownGirl has been visiting.
Just bumping this. I hope it’s helpful.
We have a lot of new members in their 50’s. Please have a read here.
I’m not 50 yet
Would never dare to suggest it!
Welcome new members. If it’s your first time here then take a few minutes to read this.
Sometimes I find myself needing to revisit this link now and then..
Welcome new members. You might like to start here. Glad you found us. Any questions... just ask
Thank you MC it helps to know we weren't even visible to them just a means to an end . Dont none of you blame yourself culminations of times in our lives when we were vulnerable or adventurous and of course their pretend acting and messing up your head. Im doing ok . I only really talk on hear becasue i dont get the "how could you be so stupid" generally . And thank you again all non rat memebers for your support and hope i too have helped others . I feel for amyone in the middle of it right now i really do .Hugs to all xxxxxx
You sure have helped others! Who was my company through the wee small hours of the morning, in the months after I left rat? You! I was surviving on ninety minutes sleep a day You were not much better!
All those PM's we exchanged, not just about rats...but about life in general, the normal stuff girls chit chat about....I needed that stuff, that normality, that reminder of life before rat
On the day after I posted those screenshots and a little detail of a few of Houssem's assaults....I completely broke down whilst putting that stuff on, the memories were still fresh and raw, I still grieved for the baby, I still had physical pain from his many assaults....I exhausted myself and fell asleep for a ridiculous amount of hours...about sixteen hours or so of desperately needed sleep.
Do you remember what you wrote on there after seeing that stuff? I do, I've never forgotten.....I laughed so bloody much!
You wrote this:
"and c unt and twat are words too good for this quite frankly septic piece of deformed dna that made him = please screen this DNA out of the human race "
I was so emotional, I laughed until I cried....it was the best description of him I'd ever read!
So yes, you've helped others....don't ever doubt that
You've done good, girl....life has thrown you a hefty pile of shit, but you are still standing and still fighting....a lot of others would have crumbled
aww bless you i never realized i helped you. We helped each other at the edge and i think a few others too at the same stage. I cant believe hes still in the gallery and i sleep at night barely thinking or worrying about it anymore ! I think the experiences weve all had will leave a scar for ever but we get better happier hopefully . Takes time and to see it for what it was. I was terribly distressed and self medicating because i just couldnt take the pain yet it still hurt and probably caused more problems, well it did but im working on it. At least i can look at other men now and feel some glimmer of attraction which was impossible before he shackled my mind and did his work on me and my silly i will walk to the ends of the earth for the one i love attitude when they wouldn't cross a puddle for me , i was pathetic i hung on so much. It was a mid life crisis in a way looks exciting to outsiders but they dont know the truth. Thankyou my love no one can doubt your help on here and just your general company is so nice . Im not so intensive on the site nowadays but really you guys feel like the best friends ive ever met . Keep going dont let it beat you your always welcome to pm me now or in 90 years time you dont have to do it alone. Big fat sloppy hugs my friend i may never see ( but you never know ) but will never forget. Some people its like murderers and pedophiles and all those disgusting things these people are out there theives , rapists the lot sadly we have to remember we met one with a mask on. hugs my dear dear Mango cat xxxxxx
ps my surgery in september in Birmingham seems to have helped . BUt now i have a back issue . Hopefully the nhs will deal with that one not us paying insane amounts of money we dont have ( double blow ) my mum spent over £15,000 on private surgery prob £20,000 together and i was off sick 1 year lost pay alot. total double kick in the balls all over a surgical forum argument that the surgery was pointless . But i dont think it was . Just thought youd like to know xxx