IF ITS YOUR FIRST TIME HERE - READ THIS

Discussion in 'Rat Behavior' started by Laura2014, Sep 15, 2016.

  1. juicyfruit

    juicyfruit Well-Known Member

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    I still need it. Because I have my "moments".
     
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  2. see clearly

    see clearly Well-Known Member

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    will always need TLR , for me i will always have the effect meeting my rat and the consequences. Like a death you never really get over it but it can be softened at the edges . Im happy for anyone who can and does manage to obliterate their experience from their future we are all different but this has been the best counselling support etc ive ever discovered and free. I dont d too well talking about my issues one on one in typical traditional counselling .
     
  3. juicyfruit

    juicyfruit Well-Known Member

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    Thank you SC.
     
  4. juicyfruit

    juicyfruit Well-Known Member

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    :Cry::Cry:
     
  5. juicyfruit

    juicyfruit Well-Known Member

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    I'm just having a "weak" moment" right now. :Cry:
     
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  6. Going for the limit

    Going for the limit Well-Known Member

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    I think the forum will start getting busy again from february after the english start returning again :(
     
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  7. Mango Chutney

    Mango Chutney Well-Known Member

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    Always remember, JF and SC, you are not machines, you are human beings with loyalty, honesty, compassion, sympathy, consideration, empathy and a heart. You are good people :)

    Rats do not have these things, that is why they can move from victim to victim and their only pain is that their quest for greed was not achieved, it's easy for them to move on, they work solely on mechanics, not on feelings like normal people.

    It's impossible for us to ever 100% get our heads round the way we were treated, this is solely because we would never dream of using and destroying good people the way they did us. This makes us good people, the fact that yes, we can understand the technical aspects of a rat, but never the insides of somebody so cold, cruel and calculating.

    I always suggest that we really educate ourselves on Bezness, Islam, Tunisian culture and narcissism....I will also add inbreeding to that.....by understanding completely what was done to us and accepting that we were not to blame, we are not stupid....we can accelerate our recovery, which in my opinion, will never be complete, we will never be exactly who we were before rat.....but our newfound personality traits are not necessarily a bad thing, just additions to our already awesome personalities! :p

    I stick with this site out of a fierce sense of loyalty to those that helped me and out of sheer feelings of anger towards this scam that completely destroys good people, but you know what, sometimes I still have the odd, fleeting moments of disbelief myself too, sometimes I still need the occasional 'Pick me up, I'm flagging' moment, shhhhhh :speechless:

    None of us are robots....but we're pretty damn awesome people....because we survived Bezness, whoop whoop!! :thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup:
     
  8. Laura2014

    Laura2014 Well-Known Member

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    What happened?
     
  9. juicyfruit

    juicyfruit Well-Known Member

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    :speechless::Not Worthy:
     
  10. Laura2014

    Laura2014 Well-Known Member

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    Ah, the sealed lip syndrome.
     
  11. juicyfruit

    juicyfruit Well-Known Member

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    I will get back up eventually....*sigh*:(
     
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  12. Mango Chutney

    Mango Chutney Well-Known Member

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    You sure will! I'd be more concerned if you were not having the odd wobble :)
     
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  13. see clearly

    see clearly Well-Known Member

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    Awww sweetheart i feel for you. I think most here know the pain . The depression can be terrible. One day you will think to yourself that you havnt thought about your rat all day. And one day you willl wonder why you wasted your thoughts on him. Try distract yourself if you can, get out go to gym, take up a class , dont i repeat do not stay in bed self-medicating like i did. A ) i nearly killed myself ( accidentally ) and b) i nearly lost my job and still living with the consequences. Your welcome to pm me any time . Ive cried ive wept buckets . I dont love my rat anymore but im finding it hard to move on im numb but i had sort of a good ish time with someone else ( although i couldn't wait to see th eback of him ) but it was a start. Be patient with yourself imagine most here had a crying year !!!! or more or a depressed year or more . Stay with TLR your welcome to PM if you want a personal chat. I cant say i have the answers but i lived to tell the tale and i feel sort of ok now but not fully healed . It does get better . Take care big hugs and also pls note i may be sleeping soon no offence but i will reply asap. Im knackerd today hugs xxx
     
  14. juicyfruit

    juicyfruit Well-Known Member

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    Thank you for your support. No mere words can express my gratitude from here.:)
     
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  15. see clearly

    see clearly Well-Known Member

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    We are all here for you chick. You should have seen how off the wall i went at times. Thankfully those times were patiently listened to by wonderful members on here . I was in total flight or fight mode at times exhausted, paranoid, depressed, lost , demoralised. These rats just dont care the pain they inflict by their actions but one thing to remember that helps me is not to measure your self worth by their treatment . Self-worth for me was the killer. Im not saying your the same but things will take time , you may relapse once twice several times i know i did and eventually i stopped sticking my hand in the fire and hopefully cut him out of my life just in time. BUt the damage is still done financially and emotionally . Hope your ok Jucy fruit it concerns me your avatar is no longer that free colourful butterfly. BUt mine was a cake with a dick on it for a while lool . Take care hun hugs xxxxx ps ive not been active so much on here a sive been very ill with multiple surgeries and fighting medics and pain and finding experts to deal with my condition ( there aint many ) and trying to keep my job etc etc . I went on my first date last week. It was ok but not earth shattering and im in love with the guy in the local shop ( although he doesn't know it lool ) far too young for me lool but i guess he knows a si go all red when he talks to me lool. Ah life eh ??? crazy
     
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  16. Laura2014

    Laura2014 Well-Known Member

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    @BrownGirl has been visiting.

    Just bumping this. I hope it’s helpful.
    We have a lot of new members in their 50’s. Please have a read here.
     
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  17. BrownGirl

    BrownGirl Moderator And Queen of Summaries Staff Member

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    I’m not 50 yet :eek:
     
  18. Laura2014

    Laura2014 Well-Known Member

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    Would never dare to suggest it! :)
     
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