IF ITS YOUR FIRST TIME HERE - READ THIS

see clearly

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jul 11, 2016
Messages
1,223
Aww your pictures realy got through to me more than words Hedi at times i laughted while i cried im gateful for your pictures and emojis and hilarios comments . Aww im all loved up today after having been pr occupied or so long and a bit out of touch im so grateful this site exists i was a bit apprehensive at first but now i see there's nothing to fear its a good supportive site deserves an OBE or something but they d probably say it was racist then lol which im not .:D:thumbsup:
 

Mango Chutney

Administrator.
Staff member
Joined
Aug 29, 2015
Messages
11,737
Aww your pictures realy got through to me more than words Hedi at times i laughted while i cried im gateful for your pictures and emojis and hilarios comments . Aww im all loved up today after having been pr occupied or so long and a bit out of touch im so grateful this site exists i was a bit apprehensive at first but now i see there's nothing to fear its a good supportive site deserves an OBE or something but they d probably say it was racist then lol which im not .:D:thumbsup:
Nobody should ever feel nervous about joining TLR, we are a very welcoming bunch. We are not racist, else we would not have mostly been in relationships with Tunisian men, lived in Tunisia, or even visited on holiday.
For sure, TLR deserves wider recognition in terms of it's support, but we do ok without that recognition....word is still getting out.
You've gone very soft and lovey dovey :D
 

Laura2014

Staff Member/Administrator
Staff member
Joined
Nov 10, 2014
Messages
3,919
Welcome, I'm writing this to help you find your way around this site. Had I known how to use it I would have found the crucial information I was looking for much earlier.

So make a coffee, settle down and begin reading and I apologise for the long post.

Firstly become a member, you can access more information that way, don't use your own name or picture, once a member you can use the SEARCH which is three small dots on the right hand side. ...

If you are looking here then you may have met someone on holiday, on line, or through someone else or have a friend you are concerned about or just curious.

You may already have some doubts. Follow your instinct, its rarely wrong and if someone else has guided you here do please listen to them.

Search, names, nicknames, places, resort names, hotel names, ages, coffee house names, dates, months anything that may link to your rat. If you can find friends of his on Facebook check the links and likes.

I only looked for names and places and I missed a vital post, so think laterally and keep checking.

Keep checking the gallery for new pictures, or google his name/names. They all use two or three names.

Remember this is an open forum anything you post is PUBLIC so if in doubt anonymise or send a private message to another well known member by creating a conversation, but be candid and cautious. Read posts first so you know who has the most knowledge and experience.
Try a moderator or admin first.
Be cautious of male profiles here as many are male Tunisians checking here or fans, people who follow rats and report back or even defend them. Used trusted members.

SO YOU HAVE A DOUBT: a gut feeling.

What I say now may seem very cynical and it may be hard to believe of the person you have met and like, maybe even feel you love. In 99.9% this is a one sided relationship. Hard facts but true. When he looks in your eyes he sees dollars, pounds and Euros.

Hold that thought in your mind. They cast their net very wide in the hope of catching a big fish, they will keep the small fish dangling in case the big catch does not pay off. It's common to have several fish at the same time. If you think it's not possible that he could say the same things to someone else, think again, they can and frequently do and he probably is right now.

LOVE BOMBING : when you first meet, in person or on line it's lovely, friendly, interested in you, paying you compliments, keeping in contact, saying how much they like you, your not like anyone else they have met, your nice, normal, they enjoy talking. Soon you are looking forward to the contact, it's reliable, always happy to hear from you, it grows in regularity and intensity, becomes more affectionate, gradually, subtly, you start to think about a possible meeting, a future, fantasies begin, a lovely romantic life, rescuing him, this man has a hard life, finds comfort in talking to you. It's a well trodden path and a well used script. The main thing we all have in common is that we all fell for it at some stage. Some got out quickly, some of us lingered, most of us got hurt, humiliated and let down.

Can it really be all LIES?

YES YES YES , if you read here and look at past posts there are NO LIMITS. They will and do lie about everything. They lie on line and to your face, they lie about circumstances, family, finances, jobs, education, nationality, health, marriage, children anything at all.

If you are already thinking, no, it's not possible, he's so genuine, please please think again.

Start from the premise that everything is a lie and work backwards.

Common lies:

I lost my phone, lost my job, my mother, father, any family member is very sick, has cancer, has even died multiple times. They may have been mugged, in a car accident or have a sad tale about a dead fiancé or wife.
They may actually be already married, or engaged and be meeting several women in the resort at the same time, they will certainly be talking to other women on line. NEVER EVER THINK that's it's not possible, it is.

THERE ARE NO LIMITS, nothing they will not say or do to meet their objective. It's not personal, it's just BEZNESS

MONEY AND GIFTS:

It may not happen straight away, it may not happen at all, although this is rare. There may be hints about how little he has, how hard it is for the family to find enough money for food or to pay household bills, hospital fees. He may not have money to go to the coffee so can't contact you, not enough money for even a few cigarettes, no money in his pucket.... needs a dentist, You may feel sorry for him, after all what's £10 or £20 to you, you can probably afford it, but from this moment on you will never ever know, once you give money all is lost, because it will become a frequent occurrence and you will want to help. A new phone because his is lost, a laptop to keep in touch, money for taxi, the bus is never good enough, especially if it's raining.

Just a few gifts my love, perfume, jeans, trainers are a must, they all need lots of trainers for all the walking they never do. Then larger amounts, money to buy themselves out of the army, to pay fathers operation, to buy a sheep for Eid, to pay for a visa permit or flight. If you don't give, why? you have plenty, I have nothing.

I will pay you back..... Don't hold your breath, I'm a good guy I only ask because it's emergency, I feel shame when I ask or take from my parents, they have nothing.

In rare cases they ask for nothing, in fact may even buy you gifts, flowers on arrival, they might even pay for meals or coffee, but be sure someone else has funded this. A rats pockets are very deep and they rarely if ever part with their own money. Someone else has sent this and it's deemed by him and his friends to be worth the investment. Whatever the reason for the request it will be tragic, sad, desperate. Your refusal or or hesitation will lead to the silent treatment. In most cases it will come, usually after a few weeks or months when you are already hooked. In the handbook of Bezness its chapter 2, a test to see if money will be forthcoming, an indicator of the future reward for the investment of time now.

The Silent Treatment, is all about raising your anxiety. Messages go unanswered or unread, suddenly loss of contact, on line but not responding. What's happened, what's wrong, is he sick, has he met someone else, eventually, No no my love I was sick, family was sick, uncle die, lose my phone, no money for Internet, but once they see it worried you it will happen frequently.

HIS FRIENDS AND FAMILY:
Never think what you say is private. Everything is shared with trusted friends, friends who do the same, sharing hints about what works, sharing messages when they don't understand the words, sharing pictures, friends will even write replies for them. You may notice sometimes their language skills are better or worse than last time. Think about who is replying. THERE ARE NO LIMITS.

I LOVE YOU:
Professing love, you are my life, you are best for me, until I met you my life was bad, my family love you, I want to be with you. I want to take care of you. I want to be married with you, I don't like kids, I don't like Tunisian women, they are hard, materialistic, I hate Tunisia, it's not a good life, I want to be free, live with you in your country, I give you a good life, together we can make a business there, or better still together we can make a business in Tunisia. A business you will pay for but never own and never see make a profit. A car my love, it's essential I have car for business. ITS ALL RUBBISH. THERE ARE NO LIMITS

WHO ARE YOU: why you?
You may be young and pretty, young and not so pretty, older and pretty or not so pretty, thin or big, look older look younger, blonde or dark haired. It does not matter, you are a means to an end. You are the way to a visa, or to pay for an expensive wedding to their Tunisian habibi, to buy or build a house, to fund an easy life, buy nice clothes, but you are NOT their future. You are a means to improving their circumstances.

The long haul: THERE ARE NO LIMITS, you may think after one, two even three years, that it's now genuine. But the rat will stick with you for a long long long time. The average age to marry in Tunisia has risen to mid to late thirties, so they will be happy to stick with you (and others alongside you) for years as a means of saving for a better life. There are three women to every man in Tunisia, they can have their pick, mothers are desperate to marry off their daughters. There is no shortage of young women and they all want to be married. Traditions run very very deep. It's exceptional to marry outside of Tunisia and to marry someone older is very unusual and generally unacceptable.

So a young girl likes his posts, frequently puts romantic symbols on Facebook, it's just my cousin my love, just simple talk. The reality is that cousins are the first choice for marriage, there may even be a long term understanding that they are promised to each other but not yet engaged. So never be taken in my it's just someone in my family. It's likely to be a cousin who is patiently waiting in the wings.

REMEMBER, his long term goals are modest, the ultimate goal is to marry a Tunisian girl, preferably a Virgin, preferably a younger cousin, to provide a home, a nice wedding and a car to drive his new growing family around. They need you and others like you to fund this.

What they want to know about you?

Do you have your own house, job, pension, car, family, children, how many holidays you have, what you have in your home, all these things are indicators about how big a catch you are.

Common strategies: going silent, ignoring your calls messages. It's all part of the game, making you dependant.

Or

Constant messaging, this may seem flattering but it's to ensure you are kept occupied, that you are his No 1 and no one else talks to you. You are an investment so he won't like anyone else in the picture.

Controlling you, who you see, talk too, where you go, what you wear, even what you spend. Wanting to know where you are, where you are going, who your with, it's all part of the game. Imagine you are a number in a black book, your name and details written beside it, making sure when he calls or messages you he remembers which one you are or he will never use your name, always Babi, my love, just to be sure he makes no mistakes.

THERE ARE OTHERS, you won't want to believe it but those lovely words he said to you were cut and pasted, repeated and regurgitated, borrowed from friends, copied from a Bezness site.

Come to visit my love, stay with my family, they will love you the way I do. This is an absolute No, it's never acceptable to stay with a Tunisian man in his family home. If you do, beware the kind sister who befriends you, she may actually be his wife, content to watch him romance you for the benefits you may bring them. Please remember, THERE ARE NO LIMITS, it has happened many times.

How many Facebook accounts does one person need? They often have three or more, some will be pictures of famous footballers, some with their name spelt slightly differently, or backwards or with a family name added. If you have phone numbers and email addresses type these into the Facebook search box and other accounts may show up.

How many Skype accounts, how many dating sites, learn how to search.

On Skype you can search via emails or phone numbers, mine had nine Skype accounts. There are many ways to find information.

Take screen shots of messages and screen shots of lists of friends from Facebook. Check who's liking his photos and pictures. Sure sign of a rat is someobe with lots of friends from Europe, Russia, Slovenia, Canada and USA. You may be on a selected Facebook account with only Tunisian friends but there WILL be other accounts and friends will be hidden.

Above all FOLLOW YOUR INSTINCTS, if you are here you already have doubts, listen to them, read everything and don't dismiss anything and NEVER EVER THINK ITS NOT POSSIBLE .... It sadly is.

Good luck and keep reading.
Welcome- We got a lot of new members so unashamably bumping this. It’s a long read but may help a bit. Any questions - just ask .
 

Laura2014

Staff Member/Administrator
Staff member
Joined
Nov 10, 2014
Messages
3,919
Welcome, I'm writing this to help you find your way around this site. Had I known how to use it I would have found the crucial information I was looking for much earlier.

So make a coffee, settle down and begin reading and I apologise for the long post.

Firstly become a member, you can access more information that way, don't use your own name or picture, once a member you can use the SEARCH which is three small dots on the right hand side. ...

If you are looking here then you may have met someone on holiday, on line, or through someone else or have a friend you are concerned about or just curious.

You may already have some doubts. Follow your instinct, its rarely wrong and if someone else has guided you here do please listen to them.

Search, names, nicknames, places, resort names, hotel names, ages, coffee house names, dates, months anything that may link to your rat. If you can find friends of his on Facebook check the links and likes.

I only looked for names and places and I missed a vital post, so think laterally and keep checking.

Keep checking the gallery for new pictures, or google his name/names. They all use two or three names.

Remember this is an open forum anything you post is PUBLIC so if in doubt anonymise or send a private message to another well known member by creating a conversation, but be candid and cautious. Read posts first so you know who has the most knowledge and experience.
Try a moderator or admin first.
Be cautious of male profiles here as many are male Tunisians checking here or fans, people who follow rats and report back or even defend them. Used trusted members.

SO YOU HAVE A DOUBT: a gut feeling.

What I say now may seem very cynical and it may be hard to believe of the person you have met and like, maybe even feel you love. In 99.9% this is a one sided relationship. Hard facts but true. When he looks in your eyes he sees dollars, pounds and Euros.

Hold that thought in your mind. They cast their net very wide in the hope of catching a big fish, they will keep the small fish dangling in case the big catch does not pay off. It's common to have several fish at the same time. If you think it's not possible that he could say the same things to someone else, think again, they can and frequently do and he probably is right now.

LOVE BOMBING : when you first meet, in person or on line it's lovely, friendly, interested in you, paying you compliments, keeping in contact, saying how much they like you, your not like anyone else they have met, your nice, normal, they enjoy talking. Soon you are looking forward to the contact, it's reliable, always happy to hear from you, it grows in regularity and intensity, becomes more affectionate, gradually, subtly, you start to think about a possible meeting, a future, fantasies begin, a lovely romantic life, rescuing him, this man has a hard life, finds comfort in talking to you. It's a well trodden path and a well used script. The main thing we all have in common is that we all fell for it at some stage. Some got out quickly, some of us lingered, most of us got hurt, humiliated and let down.

Can it really be all LIES?

YES YES YES , if you read here and look at past posts there are NO LIMITS. They will and do lie about everything. They lie on line and to your face, they lie about circumstances, family, finances, jobs, education, nationality, health, marriage, children anything at all.

If you are already thinking, no, it's not possible, he's so genuine, please please think again.

Start from the premise that everything is a lie and work backwards.

Common lies:

I lost my phone, lost my job, my mother, father, any family member is very sick, has cancer, has even died multiple times. They may have been mugged, in a car accident or have a sad tale about a dead fiancé or wife.
They may actually be already married, or engaged and be meeting several women in the resort at the same time, they will certainly be talking to other women on line. NEVER EVER THINK that's it's not possible, it is.

THERE ARE NO LIMITS, nothing they will not say or do to meet their objective. It's not personal, it's just BEZNESS

MONEY AND GIFTS:

It may not happen straight away, it may not happen at all, although this is rare. There may be hints about how little he has, how hard it is for the family to find enough money for food or to pay household bills, hospital fees. He may not have money to go to the coffee so can't contact you, not enough money for even a few cigarettes, no money in his pucket.... needs a dentist, You may feel sorry for him, after all what's £10 or £20 to you, you can probably afford it, but from this moment on you will never ever know, once you give money all is lost, because it will become a frequent occurrence and you will want to help. A new phone because his is lost, a laptop to keep in touch, money for taxi, the bus is never good enough, especially if it's raining.

Just a few gifts my love, perfume, jeans, trainers are a must, they all need lots of trainers for all the walking they never do. Then larger amounts, money to buy themselves out of the army, to pay fathers operation, to buy a sheep for Eid, to pay for a visa permit or flight. If you don't give, why? you have plenty, I have nothing.

I will pay you back..... Don't hold your breath, I'm a good guy I only ask because it's emergency, I feel shame when I ask or take from my parents, they have nothing.

In rare cases they ask for nothing, in fact may even buy you gifts, flowers on arrival, they might even pay for meals or coffee, but be sure someone else has funded this. A rats pockets are very deep and they rarely if ever part with their own money. Someone else has sent this and it's deemed by him and his friends to be worth the investment. Whatever the reason for the request it will be tragic, sad, desperate. Your refusal or or hesitation will lead to the silent treatment. In most cases it will come, usually after a few weeks or months when you are already hooked. In the handbook of Bezness its chapter 2, a test to see if money will be forthcoming, an indicator of the future reward for the investment of time now.

The Silent Treatment, is all about raising your anxiety. Messages go unanswered or unread, suddenly loss of contact, on line but not responding. What's happened, what's wrong, is he sick, has he met someone else, eventually, No no my love I was sick, family was sick, uncle die, lose my phone, no money for Internet, but once they see it worried you it will happen frequently.

HIS FRIENDS AND FAMILY:
Never think what you say is private. Everything is shared with trusted friends, friends who do the same, sharing hints about what works, sharing messages when they don't understand the words, sharing pictures, friends will even write replies for them. You may notice sometimes their language skills are better or worse than last time. Think about who is replying. THERE ARE NO LIMITS.

I LOVE YOU:
Professing love, you are my life, you are best for me, until I met you my life was bad, my family love you, I want to be with you. I want to take care of you. I want to be married with you, I don't like kids, I don't like Tunisian women, they are hard, materialistic, I hate Tunisia, it's not a good life, I want to be free, live with you in your country, I give you a good life, together we can make a business there, or better still together we can make a business in Tunisia. A business you will pay for but never own and never see make a profit. A car my love, it's essential I have car for business. ITS ALL RUBBISH. THERE ARE NO LIMITS

WHO ARE YOU: why you?
You may be young and pretty, young and not so pretty, older and pretty or not so pretty, thin or big, look older look younger, blonde or dark haired. It does not matter, you are a means to an end. You are the way to a visa, or to pay for an expensive wedding to their Tunisian habibi, to buy or build a house, to fund an easy life, buy nice clothes, but you are NOT their future. You are a means to improving their circumstances.

The long haul: THERE ARE NO LIMITS, you may think after one, two even three years, that it's now genuine. But the rat will stick with you for a long long long time. The average age to marry in Tunisia has risen to mid to late thirties, so they will be happy to stick with you (and others alongside you) for years as a means of saving for a better life. There are three women to every man in Tunisia, they can have their pick, mothers are desperate to marry off their daughters. There is no shortage of young women and they all want to be married. Traditions run very very deep. It's exceptional to marry outside of Tunisia and to marry someone older is very unusual and generally unacceptable.

So a young girl likes his posts, frequently puts romantic symbols on Facebook, it's just my cousin my love, just simple talk. The reality is that cousins are the first choice for marriage, there may even be a long term understanding that they are promised to each other but not yet engaged. So never be taken in my it's just someone in my family. It's likely to be a cousin who is patiently waiting in the wings.

REMEMBER, his long term goals are modest, the ultimate goal is to marry a Tunisian girl, preferably a Virgin, preferably a younger cousin, to provide a home, a nice wedding and a car to drive his new growing family around. They need you and others like you to fund this.

What they want to know about you?

Do you have your own house, job, pension, car, family, children, how many holidays you have, what you have in your home, all these things are indicators about how big a catch you are.

Common strategies: going silent, ignoring your calls messages. It's all part of the game, making you dependant.

Or

Constant messaging, this may seem flattering but it's to ensure you are kept occupied, that you are his No 1 and no one else talks to you. You are an investment so he won't like anyone else in the picture.

Controlling you, who you see, talk too, where you go, what you wear, even what you spend. Wanting to know where you are, where you are going, who your with, it's all part of the game. Imagine you are a number in a black book, your name and details written beside it, making sure when he calls or messages you he remembers which one you are or he will never use your name, always Babi, my love, just to be sure he makes no mistakes.

THERE ARE OTHERS, you won't want to believe it but those lovely words he said to you were cut and pasted, repeated and regurgitated, borrowed from friends, copied from a Bezness site.

Come to visit my love, stay with my family, they will love you the way I do. This is an absolute No, it's never acceptable to stay with a Tunisian man in his family home. If you do, beware the kind sister who befriends you, she may actually be his wife, content to watch him romance you for the benefits you may bring them. Please remember, THERE ARE NO LIMITS, it has happened many times.

How many Facebook accounts does one person need? They often have three or more, some will be pictures of famous footballers, some with their name spelt slightly differently, or backwards or with a family name added. If you have phone numbers and email addresses type these into the Facebook search box and other accounts may show up.

How many Skype accounts, how many dating sites, learn how to search.

On Skype you can search via emails or phone numbers, mine had nine Skype accounts. There are many ways to find information.

Take screen shots of messages and screen shots of lists of friends from Facebook. Check who's liking his photos and pictures. Sure sign of a rat is someobe with lots of friends from Europe, Russia, Slovenia, Canada and USA. You may be on a selected Facebook account with only Tunisian friends but there WILL be other accounts and friends will be hidden.

Above all FOLLOW YOUR INSTINCTS, if you are here you already have doubts, listen to them, read everything and don't dismiss anything and NEVER EVER THINK ITS NOT POSSIBLE .... It sadly is.

Good luck and keep reading.
A lot of new members so just bumping this.
 

Laura2014

Staff Member/Administrator
Staff member
Joined
Nov 10, 2014
Messages
3,919
Welcome, I'm writing this to help you find your way around this site. Had I known how to use it I would have found the crucial information I was looking for much earlier.

So make a coffee, settle down and begin reading and I apologise for the long post.

Firstly become a member, you can access more information that way, don't use your own name or picture, once a member you can use the SEARCH which is three small dots on the right hand side. ...

If you are looking here then you may have met someone on holiday, on line, or through someone else or have a friend you are concerned about or just curious.

You may already have some doubts. Follow your instinct, its rarely wrong and if someone else has guided you here do please listen to them.

Search, names, nicknames, places, resort names, hotel names, ages, coffee house names, dates, months anything that may link to your rat. If you can find friends of his on Facebook check the links and likes.

I only looked for names and places and I missed a vital post, so think laterally and keep checking.

Keep checking the gallery for new pictures, or google his name/names. They all use two or three names.

Remember this is an open forum anything you post is PUBLIC so if in doubt anonymise or send a private message to another well known member by creating a conversation, but be candid and cautious. Read posts first so you know who has the most knowledge and experience.
Try a moderator or admin first.
Be cautious of male profiles here as many are male Tunisians checking here or fans, people who follow rats and report back or even defend them. Used trusted members.

SO YOU HAVE A DOUBT: a gut feeling.

What I say now may seem very cynical and it may be hard to believe of the person you have met and like, maybe even feel you love. In 99.9% this is a one sided relationship. Hard facts but true. When he looks in your eyes he sees dollars, pounds and Euros.

Hold that thought in your mind. They cast their net very wide in the hope of catching a big fish, they will keep the small fish dangling in case the big catch does not pay off. It's common to have several fish at the same time. If you think it's not possible that he could say the same things to someone else, think again, they can and frequently do and he probably is right now.

LOVE BOMBING : when you first meet, in person or on line it's lovely, friendly, interested in you, paying you compliments, keeping in contact, saying how much they like you, your not like anyone else they have met, your nice, normal, they enjoy talking. Soon you are looking forward to the contact, it's reliable, always happy to hear from you, it grows in regularity and intensity, becomes more affectionate, gradually, subtly, you start to think about a possible meeting, a future, fantasies begin, a lovely romantic life, rescuing him, this man has a hard life, finds comfort in talking to you. It's a well trodden path and a well used script. The main thing we all have in common is that we all fell for it at some stage. Some got out quickly, some of us lingered, most of us got hurt, humiliated and let down.

Can it really be all LIES?

YES YES YES , if you read here and look at past posts there are NO LIMITS. They will and do lie about everything. They lie on line and to your face, they lie about circumstances, family, finances, jobs, education, nationality, health, marriage, children anything at all.

If you are already thinking, no, it's not possible, he's so genuine, please please think again.

Start from the premise that everything is a lie and work backwards.

Common lies:

I lost my phone, lost my job, my mother, father, any family member is very sick, has cancer, has even died multiple times. They may have been mugged, in a car accident or have a sad tale about a dead fiancé or wife.
They may actually be already married, or engaged and be meeting several women in the resort at the same time, they will certainly be talking to other women on line. NEVER EVER THINK that's it's not possible, it is.

THERE ARE NO LIMITS, nothing they will not say or do to meet their objective. It's not personal, it's just BEZNESS

MONEY AND GIFTS:

It may not happen straight away, it may not happen at all, although this is rare. There may be hints about how little he has, how hard it is for the family to find enough money for food or to pay household bills, hospital fees. He may not have money to go to the coffee so can't contact you, not enough money for even a few cigarettes, no money in his pucket.... needs a dentist, You may feel sorry for him, after all what's £10 or £20 to you, you can probably afford it, but from this moment on you will never ever know, once you give money all is lost, because it will become a frequent occurrence and you will want to help. A new phone because his is lost, a laptop to keep in touch, money for taxi, the bus is never good enough, especially if it's raining.

Just a few gifts my love, perfume, jeans, trainers are a must, they all need lots of trainers for all the walking they never do. Then larger amounts, money to buy themselves out of the army, to pay fathers operation, to buy a sheep for Eid, to pay for a visa permit or flight. If you don't give, why? you have plenty, I have nothing.

I will pay you back..... Don't hold your breath, I'm a good guy I only ask because it's emergency, I feel shame when I ask or take from my parents, they have nothing.

In rare cases they ask for nothing, in fact may even buy you gifts, flowers on arrival, they might even pay for meals or coffee, but be sure someone else has funded this. A rats pockets are very deep and they rarely if ever part with their own money. Someone else has sent this and it's deemed by him and his friends to be worth the investment. Whatever the reason for the request it will be tragic, sad, desperate. Your refusal or or hesitation will lead to the silent treatment. In most cases it will come, usually after a few weeks or months when you are already hooked. In the handbook of Bezness its chapter 2, a test to see if money will be forthcoming, an indicator of the future reward for the investment of time now.

The Silent Treatment, is all about raising your anxiety. Messages go unanswered or unread, suddenly loss of contact, on line but not responding. What's happened, what's wrong, is he sick, has he met someone else, eventually, No no my love I was sick, family was sick, uncle die, lose my phone, no money for Internet, but once they see it worried you it will happen frequently.

HIS FRIENDS AND FAMILY:
Never think what you say is private. Everything is shared with trusted friends, friends who do the same, sharing hints about what works, sharing messages when they don't understand the words, sharing pictures, friends will even write replies for them. You may notice sometimes their language skills are better or worse than last time. Think about who is replying. THERE ARE NO LIMITS.

I LOVE YOU:
Professing love, you are my life, you are best for me, until I met you my life was bad, my family love you, I want to be with you. I want to take care of you. I want to be married with you, I don't like kids, I don't like Tunisian women, they are hard, materialistic, I hate Tunisia, it's not a good life, I want to be free, live with you in your country, I give you a good life, together we can make a business there, or better still together we can make a business in Tunisia. A business you will pay for but never own and never see make a profit. A car my love, it's essential I have car for business. ITS ALL RUBBISH. THERE ARE NO LIMITS

WHO ARE YOU: why you?
You may be young and pretty, young and not so pretty, older and pretty or not so pretty, thin or big, look older look younger, blonde or dark haired. It does not matter, you are a means to an end. You are the way to a visa, or to pay for an expensive wedding to their Tunisian habibi, to buy or build a house, to fund an easy life, buy nice clothes, but you are NOT their future. You are a means to improving their circumstances.

The long haul: THERE ARE NO LIMITS, you may think after one, two even three years, that it's now genuine. But the rat will stick with you for a long long long time. The average age to marry in Tunisia has risen to mid to late thirties, so they will be happy to stick with you (and others alongside you) for years as a means of saving for a better life. There are three women to every man in Tunisia, they can have their pick, mothers are desperate to marry off their daughters. There is no shortage of young women and they all want to be married. Traditions run very very deep. It's exceptional to marry outside of Tunisia and to marry someone older is very unusual and generally unacceptable.

So a young girl likes his posts, frequently puts romantic symbols on Facebook, it's just my cousin my love, just simple talk. The reality is that cousins are the first choice for marriage, there may even be a long term understanding that they are promised to each other but not yet engaged. So never be taken in my it's just someone in my family. It's likely to be a cousin who is patiently waiting in the wings.

REMEMBER, his long term goals are modest, the ultimate goal is to marry a Tunisian girl, preferably a Virgin, preferably a younger cousin, to provide a home, a nice wedding and a car to drive his new growing family around. They need you and others like you to fund this.

What they want to know about you?

Do you have your own house, job, pension, car, family, children, how many holidays you have, what you have in your home, all these things are indicators about how big a catch you are.

Common strategies: going silent, ignoring your calls messages. It's all part of the game, making you dependant.

Or

Constant messaging, this may seem flattering but it's to ensure you are kept occupied, that you are his No 1 and no one else talks to you. You are an investment so he won't like anyone else in the picture.

Controlling you, who you see, talk too, where you go, what you wear, even what you spend. Wanting to know where you are, where you are going, who your with, it's all part of the game. Imagine you are a number in a black book, your name and details written beside it, making sure when he calls or messages you he remembers which one you are or he will never use your name, always Babi, my love, just to be sure he makes no mistakes.

THERE ARE OTHERS, you won't want to believe it but those lovely words he said to you were cut and pasted, repeated and regurgitated, borrowed from friends, copied from a Bezness site.

Come to visit my love, stay with my family, they will love you the way I do. This is an absolute No, it's never acceptable to stay with a Tunisian man in his family home. If you do, beware the kind sister who befriends you, she may actually be his wife, content to watch him romance you for the benefits you may bring them. Please remember, THERE ARE NO LIMITS, it has happened many times.

How many Facebook accounts does one person need? They often have three or more, some will be pictures of famous footballers, some with their name spelt slightly differently, or backwards or with a family name added. If you have phone numbers and email addresses type these into the Facebook search box and other accounts may show up.

How many Skype accounts, how many dating sites, learn how to search.

On Skype you can search via emails or phone numbers, mine had nine Skype accounts. There are many ways to find information.

Take screen shots of messages and screen shots of lists of friends from Facebook. Check who's liking his photos and pictures. Sure sign of a rat is someobe with lots of friends from Europe, Russia, Slovenia, Canada and USA. You may be on a selected Facebook account with only Tunisian friends but there WILL be other accounts and friends will be hidden.

Above all FOLLOW YOUR INSTINCTS, if you are here you already have doubts, listen to them, read everything and don't dismiss anything and NEVER EVER THINK ITS NOT POSSIBLE .... It sadly is.

Good luck and keep reading.
Welcome new members; I’m bumping this. It’s long but worth a read.
 

Laura2014

Staff Member/Administrator
Staff member
Joined
Nov 10, 2014
Messages
3,919
Welcome, I'm writing this to help you find your way around this site. Had I known how to use it I would have found the crucial information I was looking for much earlier.

So make a coffee, settle down and begin reading and I apologise for the long post.

Firstly become a member, you can access more information that way, don't use your own name or picture, once a member you can use the SEARCH which is three small dots on the right hand side. ...

If you are looking here then you may have met someone on holiday, on line, or through someone else or have a friend you are concerned about or just curious.

You may already have some doubts. Follow your instinct, its rarely wrong and if someone else has guided you here do please listen to them.

Search, names, nicknames, places, resort names, hotel names, ages, coffee house names, dates, months anything that may link to your rat. If you can find friends of his on Facebook check the links and likes.

I only looked for names and places and I missed a vital post, so think laterally and keep checking.

Keep checking the gallery for new pictures, or google his name/names. They all use two or three names.

Remember this is an open forum anything you post is PUBLIC so if in doubt anonymise or send a private message to another well known member by creating a conversation, but be candid and cautious. Read posts first so you know who has the most knowledge and experience.
Try a moderator or admin first.
Be cautious of male profiles here as many are male Tunisians checking here or fans, people who follow rats and report back or even defend them. Used trusted members.

SO YOU HAVE A DOUBT: a gut feeling.

What I say now may seem very cynical and it may be hard to believe of the person you have met and like, maybe even feel you love. In 99.9% this is a one sided relationship. Hard facts but true. When he looks in your eyes he sees dollars, pounds and Euros.

Hold that thought in your mind. They cast their net very wide in the hope of catching a big fish, they will keep the small fish dangling in case the big catch does not pay off. It's common to have several fish at the same time. If you think it's not possible that he could say the same things to someone else, think again, they can and frequently do and he probably is right now.

LOVE BOMBING : when you first meet, in person or on line it's lovely, friendly, interested in you, paying you compliments, keeping in contact, saying how much they like you, your not like anyone else they have met, your nice, normal, they enjoy talking. Soon you are looking forward to the contact, it's reliable, always happy to hear from you, it grows in regularity and intensity, becomes more affectionate, gradually, subtly, you start to think about a possible meeting, a future, fantasies begin, a lovely romantic life, rescuing him, this man has a hard life, finds comfort in talking to you. It's a well trodden path and a well used script. The main thing we all have in common is that we all fell for it at some stage. Some got out quickly, some of us lingered, most of us got hurt, humiliated and let down.

Can it really be all LIES?

YES YES YES , if you read here and look at past posts there are NO LIMITS. They will and do lie about everything. They lie on line and to your face, they lie about circumstances, family, finances, jobs, education, nationality, health, marriage, children anything at all.

If you are already thinking, no, it's not possible, he's so genuine, please please think again.

Start from the premise that everything is a lie and work backwards.

Common lies:

I lost my phone, lost my job, my mother, father, any family member is very sick, has cancer, has even died multiple times. They may have been mugged, in a car accident or have a sad tale about a dead fiancé or wife.
They may actually be already married, or engaged and be meeting several women in the resort at the same time, they will certainly be talking to other women on line. NEVER EVER THINK that's it's not possible, it is.

THERE ARE NO LIMITS, nothing they will not say or do to meet their objective. It's not personal, it's just BEZNESS

MONEY AND GIFTS:

It may not happen straight away, it may not happen at all, although this is rare. There may be hints about how little he has, how hard it is for the family to find enough money for food or to pay household bills, hospital fees. He may not have money to go to the coffee so can't contact you, not enough money for even a few cigarettes, no money in his pucket.... needs a dentist, You may feel sorry for him, after all what's £10 or £20 to you, you can probably afford it, but from this moment on you will never ever know, once you give money all is lost, because it will become a frequent occurrence and you will want to help. A new phone because his is lost, a laptop to keep in touch, money for taxi, the bus is never good enough, especially if it's raining.

Just a few gifts my love, perfume, jeans, trainers are a must, they all need lots of trainers for all the walking they never do. Then larger amounts, money to buy themselves out of the army, to pay fathers operation, to buy a sheep for Eid, to pay for a visa permit or flight. If you don't give, why? you have plenty, I have nothing.

I will pay you back..... Don't hold your breath, I'm a good guy I only ask because it's emergency, I feel shame when I ask or take from my parents, they have nothing.

In rare cases they ask for nothing, in fact may even buy you gifts, flowers on arrival, they might even pay for meals or coffee, but be sure someone else has funded this. A rats pockets are very deep and they rarely if ever part with their own money. Someone else has sent this and it's deemed by him and his friends to be worth the investment. Whatever the reason for the request it will be tragic, sad, desperate. Your refusal or or hesitation will lead to the silent treatment. In most cases it will come, usually after a few weeks or months when you are already hooked. In the handbook of Bezness its chapter 2, a test to see if money will be forthcoming, an indicator of the future reward for the investment of time now.

The Silent Treatment, is all about raising your anxiety. Messages go unanswered or unread, suddenly loss of contact, on line but not responding. What's happened, what's wrong, is he sick, has he met someone else, eventually, No no my love I was sick, family was sick, uncle die, lose my phone, no money for Internet, but once they see it worried you it will happen frequently.

HIS FRIENDS AND FAMILY:
Never think what you say is private. Everything is shared with trusted friends, friends who do the same, sharing hints about what works, sharing messages when they don't understand the words, sharing pictures, friends will even write replies for them. You may notice sometimes their language skills are better or worse than last time. Think about who is replying. THERE ARE NO LIMITS.

I LOVE YOU:
Professing love, you are my life, you are best for me, until I met you my life was bad, my family love you, I want to be with you. I want to take care of you. I want to be married with you, I don't like kids, I don't like Tunisian women, they are hard, materialistic, I hate Tunisia, it's not a good life, I want to be free, live with you in your country, I give you a good life, together we can make a business there, or better still together we can make a business in Tunisia. A business you will pay for but never own and never see make a profit. A car my love, it's essential I have car for business. ITS ALL RUBBISH. THERE ARE NO LIMITS

WHO ARE YOU: why you?
You may be young and pretty, young and not so pretty, older and pretty or not so pretty, thin or big, look older look younger, blonde or dark haired. It does not matter, you are a means to an end. You are the way to a visa, or to pay for an expensive wedding to their Tunisian habibi, to buy or build a house, to fund an easy life, buy nice clothes, but you are NOT their future. You are a means to improving their circumstances.

The long haul: THERE ARE NO LIMITS, you may think after one, two even three years, that it's now genuine. But the rat will stick with you for a long long long time. The average age to marry in Tunisia has risen to mid to late thirties, so they will be happy to stick with you (and others alongside you) for years as a means of saving for a better life. There are three women to every man in Tunisia, they can have their pick, mothers are desperate to marry off their daughters. There is no shortage of young women and they all want to be married. Traditions run very very deep. It's exceptional to marry outside of Tunisia and to marry someone older is very unusual and generally unacceptable.

So a young girl likes his posts, frequently puts romantic symbols on Facebook, it's just my cousin my love, just simple talk. The reality is that cousins are the first choice for marriage, there may even be a long term understanding that they are promised to each other but not yet engaged. So never be taken in my it's just someone in my family. It's likely to be a cousin who is patiently waiting in the wings.

REMEMBER, his long term goals are modest, the ultimate goal is to marry a Tunisian girl, preferably a Virgin, preferably a younger cousin, to provide a home, a nice wedding and a car to drive his new growing family around. They need you and others like you to fund this.

What they want to know about you?

Do you have your own house, job, pension, car, family, children, how many holidays you have, what you have in your home, all these things are indicators about how big a catch you are.

Common strategies: going silent, ignoring your calls messages. It's all part of the game, making you dependant.

Or

Constant messaging, this may seem flattering but it's to ensure you are kept occupied, that you are his No 1 and no one else talks to you. You are an investment so he won't like anyone else in the picture.

Controlling you, who you see, talk too, where you go, what you wear, even what you spend. Wanting to know where you are, where you are going, who your with, it's all part of the game. Imagine you are a number in a black book, your name and details written beside it, making sure when he calls or messages you he remembers which one you are or he will never use your name, always Babi, my love, just to be sure he makes no mistakes.

THERE ARE OTHERS, you won't want to believe it but those lovely words he said to you were cut and pasted, repeated and regurgitated, borrowed from friends, copied from a Bezness site.

Come to visit my love, stay with my family, they will love you the way I do. This is an absolute No, it's never acceptable to stay with a Tunisian man in his family home. If you do, beware the kind sister who befriends you, she may actually be his wife, content to watch him romance you for the benefits you may bring them. Please remember, THERE ARE NO LIMITS, it has happened many times.

How many Facebook accounts does one person need? They often have three or more, some will be pictures of famous footballers, some with their name spelt slightly differently, or backwards or with a family name added. If you have phone numbers and email addresses type these into the Facebook search box and other accounts may show up.

How many Skype accounts, how many dating sites, learn how to search.

On Skype you can search via emails or phone numbers, mine had nine Skype accounts. There are many ways to find information.

Take screen shots of messages and screen shots of lists of friends from Facebook. Check who's liking his photos and pictures. Sure sign of a rat is someobe with lots of friends from Europe, Russia, Slovenia, Canada and USA. You may be on a selected Facebook account with only Tunisian friends but there WILL be other accounts and friends will be hidden.

Above all FOLLOW YOUR INSTINCTS, if you are here you already have doubts, listen to them, read everything and don't dismiss anything and NEVER EVER THINK ITS NOT POSSIBLE .... It sadly is.

Good luck and keep reading.
@Daria0992
 

magic

Well-Known Member
Joined
Mar 11, 2015
Messages
2,317
to all those who need carrying through the storm you are not alone ,come here ti TLR for a hug and good advice, support and non critical understanding . And sometimes a great laugh as well :)
How are you doing hun xxx
 

Laura2014

Staff Member/Administrator
Staff member
Joined
Nov 10, 2014
Messages
3,919
Welcome, I'm writing this to help you find your way around this site. Had I known how to use it I would have found the crucial information I was looking for much earlier.

So make a coffee, settle down and begin reading and I apologise for the long post.

Firstly become a member, you can access more information that way, don't use your own name or picture, once a member you can use the SEARCH which is three small dots on the right hand side. ...

If you are looking here then you may have met someone on holiday, on line, or through someone else or have a friend you are concerned about or just curious.

You may already have some doubts. Follow your instinct, its rarely wrong and if someone else has guided you here do please listen to them.

Search, names, nicknames, places, resort names, hotel names, ages, coffee house names, dates, months anything that may link to your rat. If you can find friends of his on Facebook check the links and likes.

I only looked for names and places and I missed a vital post, so think laterally and keep checking.

Keep checking the gallery for new pictures, or google his name/names. They all use two or three names.

Remember this is an open forum anything you post is PUBLIC so if in doubt anonymise or send a private message to another well known member by creating a conversation, but be candid and cautious. Read posts first so you know who has the most knowledge and experience.
Try a moderator or admin first.
Be cautious of male profiles here as many are male Tunisians checking here or fans, people who follow rats and report back or even defend them. Used trusted members.

SO YOU HAVE A DOUBT: a gut feeling.

What I say now may seem very cynical and it may be hard to believe of the person you have met and like, maybe even feel you love. In 99.9% this is a one sided relationship. Hard facts but true. When he looks in your eyes he sees dollars, pounds and Euros.

Hold that thought in your mind. They cast their net very wide in the hope of catching a big fish, they will keep the small fish dangling in case the big catch does not pay off. It's common to have several fish at the same time. If you think it's not possible that he could say the same things to someone else, think again, they can and frequently do and he probably is right now.

LOVE BOMBING : when you first meet, in person or on line it's lovely, friendly, interested in you, paying you compliments, keeping in contact, saying how much they like you, your not like anyone else they have met, your nice, normal, they enjoy talking. Soon you are looking forward to the contact, it's reliable, always happy to hear from you, it grows in regularity and intensity, becomes more affectionate, gradually, subtly, you start to think about a possible meeting, a future, fantasies begin, a lovely romantic life, rescuing him, this man has a hard life, finds comfort in talking to you. It's a well trodden path and a well used script. The main thing we all have in common is that we all fell for it at some stage. Some got out quickly, some of us lingered, most of us got hurt, humiliated and let down.

Can it really be all LIES?

YES YES YES , if you read here and look at past posts there are NO LIMITS. They will and do lie about everything. They lie on line and to your face, they lie about circumstances, family, finances, jobs, education, nationality, health, marriage, children anything at all.

If you are already thinking, no, it's not possible, he's so genuine, please please think again.

Start from the premise that everything is a lie and work backwards.

Common lies:

I lost my phone, lost my job, my mother, father, any family member is very sick, has cancer, has even died multiple times. They may have been mugged, in a car accident or have a sad tale about a dead fiancé or wife.
They may actually be already married, or engaged and be meeting several women in the resort at the same time, they will certainly be talking to other women on line. NEVER EVER THINK that's it's not possible, it is.

THERE ARE NO LIMITS, nothing they will not say or do to meet their objective. It's not personal, it's just BEZNESS

MONEY AND GIFTS:

It may not happen straight away, it may not happen at all, although this is rare. There may be hints about how little he has, how hard it is for the family to find enough money for food or to pay household bills, hospital fees. He may not have money to go to the coffee so can't contact you, not enough money for even a few cigarettes, no money in his pucket.... needs a dentist, You may feel sorry for him, after all what's £10 or £20 to you, you can probably afford it, but from this moment on you will never ever know, once you give money all is lost, because it will become a frequent occurrence and you will want to help. A new phone because his is lost, a laptop to keep in touch, money for taxi, the bus is never good enough, especially if it's raining.

Just a few gifts my love, perfume, jeans, trainers are a must, they all need lots of trainers for all the walking they never do. Then larger amounts, money to buy themselves out of the army, to pay fathers operation, to buy a sheep for Eid, to pay for a visa permit or flight. If you don't give, why? you have plenty, I have nothing.

I will pay you back..... Don't hold your breath, I'm a good guy I only ask because it's emergency, I feel shame when I ask or take from my parents, they have nothing.

In rare cases they ask for nothing, in fact may even buy you gifts, flowers on arrival, they might even pay for meals or coffee, but be sure someone else has funded this. A rats pockets are very deep and they rarely if ever part with their own money. Someone else has sent this and it's deemed by him and his friends to be worth the investment. Whatever the reason for the request it will be tragic, sad, desperate. Your refusal or or hesitation will lead to the silent treatment. In most cases it will come, usually after a few weeks or months when you are already hooked. In the handbook of Bezness its chapter 2, a test to see if money will be forthcoming, an indicator of the future reward for the investment of time now.

The Silent Treatment, is all about raising your anxiety. Messages go unanswered or unread, suddenly loss of contact, on line but not responding. What's happened, what's wrong, is he sick, has he met someone else, eventually, No no my love I was sick, family was sick, uncle die, lose my phone, no money for Internet, but once they see it worried you it will happen frequently.

HIS FRIENDS AND FAMILY:
Never think what you say is private. Everything is shared with trusted friends, friends who do the same, sharing hints about what works, sharing messages when they don't understand the words, sharing pictures, friends will even write replies for them. You may notice sometimes their language skills are better or worse than last time. Think about who is replying. THERE ARE NO LIMITS.

I LOVE YOU:
Professing love, you are my life, you are best for me, until I met you my life was bad, my family love you, I want to be with you. I want to take care of you. I want to be married with you, I don't like kids, I don't like Tunisian women, they are hard, materialistic, I hate Tunisia, it's not a good life, I want to be free, live with you in your country, I give you a good life, together we can make a business there, or better still together we can make a business in Tunisia. A business you will pay for but never own and never see make a profit. A car my love, it's essential I have car for business. ITS ALL RUBBISH. THERE ARE NO LIMITS

WHO ARE YOU: why you?
You may be young and pretty, young and not so pretty, older and pretty or not so pretty, thin or big, look older look younger, blonde or dark haired. It does not matter, you are a means to an end. You are the way to a visa, or to pay for an expensive wedding to their Tunisian habibi, to buy or build a house, to fund an easy life, buy nice clothes, but you are NOT their future. You are a means to improving their circumstances.

The long haul: THERE ARE NO LIMITS, you may think after one, two even three years, that it's now genuine. But the rat will stick with you for a long long long time. The average age to marry in Tunisia has risen to mid to late thirties, so they will be happy to stick with you (and others alongside you) for years as a means of saving for a better life. There are three women to every man in Tunisia, they can have their pick, mothers are desperate to marry off their daughters. There is no shortage of young women and they all want to be married. Traditions run very very deep. It's exceptional to marry outside of Tunisia and to marry someone older is very unusual and generally unacceptable.

So a young girl likes his posts, frequently puts romantic symbols on Facebook, it's just my cousin my love, just simple talk. The reality is that cousins are the first choice for marriage, there may even be a long term understanding that they are promised to each other but not yet engaged. So never be taken in my it's just someone in my family. It's likely to be a cousin who is patiently waiting in the wings.

REMEMBER, his long term goals are modest, the ultimate goal is to marry a Tunisian girl, preferably a Virgin, preferably a younger cousin, to provide a home, a nice wedding and a car to drive his new growing family around. They need you and others like you to fund this.

What they want to know about you?

Do you have your own house, job, pension, car, family, children, how many holidays you have, what you have in your home, all these things are indicators about how big a catch you are.

Common strategies: going silent, ignoring your calls messages. It's all part of the game, making you dependant.

Or

Constant messaging, this may seem flattering but it's to ensure you are kept occupied, that you are his No 1 and no one else talks to you. You are an investment so he won't like anyone else in the picture.

Controlling you, who you see, talk too, where you go, what you wear, even what you spend. Wanting to know where you are, where you are going, who your with, it's all part of the game. Imagine you are a number in a black book, your name and details written beside it, making sure when he calls or messages you he remembers which one you are or he will never use your name, always Babi, my love, just to be sure he makes no mistakes.

THERE ARE OTHERS, you won't want to believe it but those lovely words he said to you were cut and pasted, repeated and regurgitated, borrowed from friends, copied from a Bezness site.

Come to visit my love, stay with my family, they will love you the way I do. This is an absolute No, it's never acceptable to stay with a Tunisian man in his family home. If you do, beware the kind sister who befriends you, she may actually be his wife, content to watch him romance you for the benefits you may bring them. Please remember, THERE ARE NO LIMITS, it has happened many times.

How many Facebook accounts does one person need? They often have three or more, some will be pictures of famous footballers, some with their name spelt slightly differently, or backwards or with a family name added. If you have phone numbers and email addresses type these into the Facebook search box and other accounts may show up.

How many Skype accounts, how many dating sites, learn how to search.

On Skype you can search via emails or phone numbers, mine had nine Skype accounts. There are many ways to find information.

Take screen shots of messages and screen shots of lists of friends from Facebook. Check who's liking his photos and pictures. Sure sign of a rat is someobe with lots of friends from Europe, Russia, Slovenia, Canada and USA. You may be on a selected Facebook account with only Tunisian friends but there WILL be other accounts and friends will be hidden.

Above all FOLLOW YOUR INSTINCTS, if you are here you already have doubts, listen to them, read everything and don't dismiss anything and NEVER EVER THINK ITS NOT POSSIBLE .... It sadly is.

Good luck and keep reading.
We have lots of new members so bumping this thread.
 

SandraDell

New Member
Joined
Aug 29, 2018
Messages
3
Hi there, I recently signed up. I was just wondering how I can search names? I haven't been able to access that part. I know it is said there are three dots, but I don't seem them :/
Thank you :)
 

Heidi

Well-Known Member
Joined
Dec 9, 2009
Messages
14,134
Hi there, I recently signed up. I was just wondering how I can search names? I haven't been able to access that part. I know it is said there are three dots, but I don't seem them :/
Thank you :)
Hi and welcome :)
I'm on a pc and on the right upper side of each site it says Unbenannt.PNGnkiu.PNG

I click Search and - bingo ;)
Please note that not all rats here are mentioned by name or just by nicknames. In the gallery you better also look at the pictures
 

Mango Chutney

Administrator.
Staff member
Joined
Aug 29, 2015
Messages
11,737
Hi there, I recently signed up. I was just wondering how I can search names? I haven't been able to access that part. I know it is said there are three dots, but I don't seem them :/
Thank you :)
Hi, SandraDell...welcome to the forum :)
I am on a Kindle and do not have the three dots either, to search a name on the threads, I click on the red arrow 'Search forums' (shown on screenshot below) and to search a name in the gallery, I click on the three lines above the green arrow. Just choose your option and type the name in :)

Screenshot_2018-08-30-14-57-46_kindlephoto-51703096.png

Type in every name you know (in separate searches), plus search place names, hotels etc.
It's also worth baring in mind that not every rat is outed. Mine had other victims, yet if it were not for his connection to me, he would not be here.
Good luck with your search :thumbsup:
 

SandraDell

New Member
Joined
Aug 29, 2018
Messages
3
Hi, SandraDell...welcome to the forum :)
I am on a Kindle and do not have the three dots either, to search a name on the threads, I click on the red arrow 'Search forums' (shown on screenshot below) and to search a name in the gallery, I click on the three lines above the green arrow. Just choose your option and type the name in :)

View attachment 44340

Type in every name you know (in separate searches), plus search place names, hotels etc.
It's also worth baring in mind that not every rat is outed. Mine had other victims, yet if it were not for his connection to me, he would not be here.
Good luck with your search :thumbsup:
Thank you so much, I really appreciate it. This site is very useful.
 

see clearly

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jul 11, 2016
Messages
1,223
Thank you so much, I really appreciate it. This site is very useful.
\Hi Sandra at first you got to believe its really a rat . if it is they can wreck your life your psyche your money your life. Im currently battling addiction to block out all the pain on top of pain ontop of..... I just wanted to keep mine id do anything sell my soul. ive felt some kind of love or fun with a few guys but i suddenly feel old bullied at work at horrendously in debt and a new manager who im sure is trying to get me fired when i need this amount of money. I cant take no less . i fucked up just took a little more than i should to sleep just sleeping pill ( and yes i have told my manager im being bullied its documented chaotically union are really good ) its like they dont you even realise the trama ive been through this is made up bullshit! constantly whispering as she passes thats wrong , i cant stand to watch how slow you are, sit down stop chatting when everyone else is chatting . Anyway sorry its your life we are trying to deal with. Just get out before its too late youll be left alone and penniless. People here will help you if you givve them some idea things that have happened but youve forgiven in the name of love. Hi Mango Heidi Spartacus sorry been a bit busy lately to come on here . Im just trying o figure out my money situation i use that too to cover up the ache and not just the rat its been mental for me since 2014 - love u guys take care xxxxxx there's a reason why they say nothing stronger than love ?
 

AmberHeart

Lady Amberheart of Gafsa
Joined
Jul 13, 2018
Messages
4,593
Hi there, I recently signed up. I was just wondering how I can search names? I haven't been able to access that part. I know it is said there are three dots, but I don't seem them :/
Thank you :)
Hello Sandra, I would like to mention that not all Rats are on the gallery yet nor they are named in public, because some of us are still being blackmailed.
 
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see clearly

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jul 11, 2016
Messages
1,223
Yes there are plenty who havnt been found out or kept it in etc which is totally fine no one has to name and shame id they are afraid etc. God you should have seen me off on off on. But you gain support here and strength a base to stand on for me anyway. as well mostly and friendship and just that im not alone feeling dampened down hopefully. Im still a hare caught in the headlights. Sleepless. I don't love him (rat) anymore, thankfully thats with years of separating or whatever you'd call it but im thankful in a way for what happened because it assured me id never go back, talk to the shite or even listen. I guess its true in a way but totally irresponsible and im not recommending this in any way but dolly partons words i think " the best way to get over a man is to get under another one " i know its really shit advice and im not suggesting it to anyone but just kinda helped me a bit but also tore my heart our . Its like having something else to focus on.? safe sex and all that please. Theyve luckily been short term but respectful in their own way . One looked like a rat i didn't respond much as he just sent cheesy memes like be happy be for today just the pictures.A ratty trait to me. I didnt want to talk but he relentlessly started whats app ing trying to ring me 20 times a day stuff i just ignored it, bear in mind never met the guy responded like twice like hi or thanks or said look im with someone else now ( lie if you have to not a crime in my book where a bad man is involved ) or one time i said sorry your nice looking etc im sure you'll find someone, end of . Or just ghost its not a crime . I know some people feel this is bad i think its good . Whats the point if theyre someone like a rat they'll use it to hold onto you etc . Men they really really don't stop even the ones youve said no to or (non rat ) dont contact me etc . Still now ive got one . I know im older but i just don't fancy the guy .
 

Derbygirl

Well-Known Member
Joined
Aug 4, 2016
Messages
203
Welcome, I'm writing this to help you find your way around this site. Had I known how to use it I would have found the crucial information I was looking for much earlier.

So make a coffee, settle down and begin reading and I apologise for the long post.

Firstly become a member, you can access more information that way, don't use your own name or picture, once a member you can use the SEARCH which is three small dots on the right hand side. ...

If you are looking here then you may have met someone on holiday, on line, or through someone else or have a friend you are concerned about or just curious.

You may already have some doubts. Follow your instinct, its rarely wrong and if someone else has guided you here do please listen to them.

Search, names, nicknames, places, resort names, hotel names, ages, coffee house names, dates, months anything that may link to your rat. If you can find friends of his on Facebook check the links and likes.

I only looked for names and places and I missed a vital post, so think laterally and keep checking.

Keep checking the gallery for new pictures, or google his name/names. They all use two or three names.

Remember this is an open forum anything you post is PUBLIC so if in doubt anonymise or send a private message to another well known member by creating a conversation, but be candid and cautious. Read posts first so you know who has the most knowledge and experience.
Try a moderator or admin first.
Be cautious of male profiles here as many are male Tunisians checking here or fans, people who follow rats and report back or even defend them. Used trusted members.

SO YOU HAVE A DOUBT: a gut feeling.

What I say now may seem very cynical and it may be hard to believe of the person you have met and like, maybe even feel you love. In 99.9% this is a one sided relationship. Hard facts but true. When he looks in your eyes he sees dollars, pounds and Euros.

Hold that thought in your mind. They cast their net very wide in the hope of catching a big fish, they will keep the small fish dangling in case the big catch does not pay off. It's common to have several fish at the same time. If you think it's not possible that he could say the same things to someone else, think again, they can and frequently do and he probably is right now.

LOVE BOMBING : when you first meet, in person or on line it's lovely, friendly, interested in you, paying you compliments, keeping in contact, saying how much they like you, your not like anyone else they have met, your nice, normal, they enjoy talking. Soon you are looking forward to the contact, it's reliable, always happy to hear from you, it grows in regularity and intensity, becomes more affectionate, gradually, subtly, you start to think about a possible meeting, a future, fantasies begin, a lovely romantic life, rescuing him, this man has a hard life, finds comfort in talking to you. It's a well trodden path and a well used script. The main thing we all have in common is that we all fell for it at some stage. Some got out quickly, some of us lingered, most of us got hurt, humiliated and let down.

Can it really be all LIES?

YES YES YES , if you read here and look at past posts there are NO LIMITS. They will and do lie about everything. They lie on line and to your face, they lie about circumstances, family, finances, jobs, education, nationality, health, marriage, children anything at all.

If you are already thinking, no, it's not possible, he's so genuine, please please think again.

Start from the premise that everything is a lie and work backwards.

Common lies:

I lost my phone, lost my job, my mother, father, any family member is very sick, has cancer, has even died multiple times. They may have been mugged, in a car accident or have a sad tale about a dead fiancé or wife.
They may actually be already married, or engaged and be meeting several women in the resort at the same time, they will certainly be talking to other women on line. NEVER EVER THINK that's it's not possible, it is.

THERE ARE NO LIMITS, nothing they will not say or do to meet their objective. It's not personal, it's just BEZNESS

MONEY AND GIFTS:

It may not happen straight away, it may not happen at all, although this is rare. There may be hints about how little he has, how hard it is for the family to find enough money for food or to pay household bills, hospital fees. He may not have money to go to the coffee so can't contact you, not enough money for even a few cigarettes, no money in his pucket.... needs a dentist, You may feel sorry for him, after all what's £10 or £20 to you, you can probably afford it, but from this moment on you will never ever know, once you give money all is lost, because it will become a frequent occurrence and you will want to help. A new phone because his is lost, a laptop to keep in touch, money for taxi, the bus is never good enough, especially if it's raining.

Just a few gifts my love, perfume, jeans, trainers are a must, they all need lots of trainers for all the walking they never do. Then larger amounts, money to buy themselves out of the army, to pay fathers operation, to buy a sheep for Eid, to pay for a visa permit or flight. If you don't give, why? you have plenty, I have nothing.

I will pay you back..... Don't hold your breath, I'm a good guy I only ask because it's emergency, I feel shame when I ask or take from my parents, they have nothing.

In rare cases they ask for nothing, in fact may even buy you gifts, flowers on arrival, they might even pay for meals or coffee, but be sure someone else has funded this. A rats pockets are very deep and they rarely if ever part with their own money. Someone else has sent this and it's deemed by him and his friends to be worth the investment. Whatever the reason for the request it will be tragic, sad, desperate. Your refusal or or hesitation will lead to the silent treatment. In most cases it will come, usually after a few weeks or months when you are already hooked. In the handbook of Bezness its chapter 2, a test to see if money will be forthcoming, an indicator of the future reward for the investment of time now.

The Silent Treatment, is all about raising your anxiety. Messages go unanswered or unread, suddenly loss of contact, on line but not responding. What's happened, what's wrong, is he sick, has he met someone else, eventually, No no my love I was sick, family was sick, uncle die, lose my phone, no money for Internet, but once they see it worried you it will happen frequently.

HIS FRIENDS AND FAMILY:
Never think what you say is private. Everything is shared with trusted friends, friends who do the same, sharing hints about what works, sharing messages when they don't understand the words, sharing pictures, friends will even write replies for them. You may notice sometimes their language skills are better or worse than last time. Think about who is replying. THERE ARE NO LIMITS.

I LOVE YOU:
Professing love, you are my life, you are best for me, until I met you my life was bad, my family love you, I want to be with you. I want to take care of you. I want to be married with you, I don't like kids, I don't like Tunisian women, they are hard, materialistic, I hate Tunisia, it's not a good life, I want to be free, live with you in your country, I give you a good life, together we can make a business there, or better still together we can make a business in Tunisia. A business you will pay for but never own and never see make a profit. A car my love, it's essential I have car for business. ITS ALL RUBBISH. THERE ARE NO LIMITS

WHO ARE YOU: why you?
You may be young and pretty, young and not so pretty, older and pretty or not so pretty, thin or big, look older look younger, blonde or dark haired. It does not matter, you are a means to an end. You are the way to a visa, or to pay for an expensive wedding to their Tunisian habibi, to buy or build a house, to fund an easy life, buy nice clothes, but you are NOT their future. You are a means to improving their circumstances.

The long haul: THERE ARE NO LIMITS, you may think after one, two even three years, that it's now genuine. But the rat will stick with you for a long long long time. The average age to marry in Tunisia has risen to mid to late thirties, so they will be happy to stick with you (and others alongside you) for years as a means of saving for a better life. There are three women to every man in Tunisia, they can have their pick, mothers are desperate to marry off their daughters. There is no shortage of young women and they all want to be married. Traditions run very very deep. It's exceptional to marry outside of Tunisia and to marry someone older is very unusual and generally unacceptable.

So a young girl likes his posts, frequently puts romantic symbols on Facebook, it's just my cousin my love, just simple talk. The reality is that cousins are the first choice for marriage, there may even be a long term understanding that they are promised to each other but not yet engaged. So never be taken in my it's just someone in my family. It's likely to be a cousin who is patiently waiting in the wings.

REMEMBER, his long term goals are modest, the ultimate goal is to marry a Tunisian girl, preferably a Virgin, preferably a younger cousin, to provide a home, a nice wedding and a car to drive his new growing family around. They need you and others like you to fund this.

What they want to know about you?

Do you have your own house, job, pension, car, family, children, how many holidays you have, what you have in your home, all these things are indicators about how big a catch you are.

Common strategies: going silent, ignoring your calls messages. It's all part of the game, making you dependant.

Or

Constant messaging, this may seem flattering but it's to ensure you are kept occupied, that you are his No 1 and no one else talks to you. You are an investment so he won't like anyone else in the picture.

Controlling you, who you see, talk too, where you go, what you wear, even what you spend. Wanting to know where you are, where you are going, who your with, it's all part of the game. Imagine you are a number in a black book, your name and details written beside it, making sure when he calls or messages you he remembers which one you are or he will never use your name, always Babi, my love, just to be sure he makes no mistakes.

THERE ARE OTHERS, you won't want to believe it but those lovely words he said to you were cut and pasted, repeated and regurgitated, borrowed from friends, copied from a Bezness site.

Come to visit my love, stay with my family, they will love you the way I do. This is an absolute No, it's never acceptable to stay with a Tunisian man in his family home. If you do, beware the kind sister who befriends you, she may actually be his wife, content to watch him romance you for the benefits you may bring them. Please remember, THERE ARE NO LIMITS, it has happened many times.

How many Facebook accounts does one person need? They often have three or more, some will be pictures of famous footballers, some with their name spelt slightly differently, or backwards or with a family name added. If you have phone numbers and email addresses type these into the Facebook search box and other accounts may show up.

How many Skype accounts, how many dating sites, learn how to search.

On Skype you can search via emails or phone numbers, mine had nine Skype accounts. There are many ways to find information.

Take screen shots of messages and screen shots of lists of friends from Facebook. Check who's liking his photos and pictures. Sure sign of a rat is someobe with lots of friends from Europe, Russia, Slovenia, Canada and USA. You may be on a selected Facebook account with only Tunisian friends but there WILL be other accounts and friends will be hidden.

Above all FOLLOW YOUR INSTINCTS, if you are here you already have doubts, listen to them, read everything and don't dismiss anything and NEVER EVER THINK ITS NOT POSSIBLE .... It sadly is.

Good luck and keep reading.
Laura2014....You wrote this 3 days before I left for Tunisia to see my rat (after 15 weeks of constant persuasion, and already sending money to him)....I wish I could have taken in the contents of this site before ever going, finally returning and falling desperately mentally ill, because of the constant pressure over money and all the other psychological effects I endured, like severe depression and not being able to live a normal, everyday life....which took away 20 months of my life, and could easily have had a fatal ending for me.....I couldn’t believe that it was only recently I discovered another FB account with his name reversed and spelled wrongly, and his ‘secret’ conversations with other women, not to mention the pics he posted of himself on Instagram (again, only recently discovered....What a damned nerve!!! He even posted one of himself that I had taken when we were ‘on holiday’!!!!

So, newcomers please heed all advice given here, and take it very seriously, as it needs to be, to avoid the sort of problems that I and many others have experienced....
 
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Arkady

Well-Known Member
Joined
Nov 24, 2018
Messages
418
I think that although your words are correct, people ARE now more aware. There will always be new victims, but with sites like this and the ones in other countries, the TV adverts and warnings on embassy pages and in travel agencies, people are now more aware. We are spreading the word well, I've put links to this site all over Twitter, on national newspapers online, I speak out to everyone, those are just my efforts, so with all our efforts combined, we are making progress. Wait til me and Laura get to the airport with our leaflets and tee shirts, haha, bezness will be destroyed :D Tunisia does need to make bezness a crime punishable by law, but for that to work, evidence is crucial. Bezness is having more of a damaging effect on Tunisia than terrorism, people just refuse to go there now, so Tunisia needs to deal with this problem fast. The countries economy is collapsing, they are living on foreign handouts that are putting them massively in debt. The fact is, they need to bring in every dinar they can to fix this mess, tourism is crucial....they need to stop burying their heads in the sand and fix this shit!!
And Tunisia won’t act till it stars feeling the pain, in their coffers.
 
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