I’m confused and need some advice

I have a theory as to why Mr.Couscous and Tuna Fish is behaving the way he does :
Assuming he is indeed a man, and assuming he is pure of heart (as in he doesn't have any bad intentions) I would say he is imposing his own morals on to the victims of the Bezness scam :

In Tunisia, boys are raised differently from girls, it is established from a young age that femininity and masculinity are for women and men (respectively) and that there is no gray area, men are expected to always be strong, brave,to take risks and sacrifice (somewhat idealistic but bear with me) and on the other hand women are expected to always be weaker, more submissive, shy and to prioritize themselves and their offspring.

examples :
-If any technical, or grunt work need be done, the son is for it ,yet, if any clothes need be washed, kids watched or food cooked, the daughter is for it.
-If the son is in pain, physically or mentally, he'll simply be told to "man up" (keyword here) and deal with it, however if the daughter is in pain she will receive affection and be told "It'll all be ok" (etc).
-If the son messes up, he will receive physical punishment almost indefinitely, if the daughter messed up she'll be punished in other ways and even if physical punishment is involved, won't be as severe.

I'm not trying to stir up controversy but follow along if you may;
As you may imagine, these values and this type of parenting (more common in more traditional families and poorer families generally) will lead to serious psychological trauma, which, according to my theory, explains the lack of empathy that Mr.Couscous is exhibiting, he simply lost the ability to empathize with others due the repeated lack of empathy towards him (I was at one point like this, and I know plenty of people whom are like this),I'm not trying to portray him as a victim but what I'm trying to say is his behavior might seem like a normal response to him and he might simply not know any better . I will go as far as to say that the psychological trauma might explain why Tunisian men seem to resent women so much both Tunisian women and foreigners, even marriage, to them is just a ticket to having children (and beating women) then again, this is my theory and I simply don't have the data to prove it, just reasoning and anecdotal evidence.
Feel free to criticize and thank you for reading through it all ^^
ye sahbi mghir zina lezmik tista3mel klem 9wi famech fi9o w yofa mawdhou3 jimla rana tmasa5na jbora mn chira w isis mn chira .. we7ed wala y7chm bch 9oul rani tounsi ..... fi 3alem kemel man3outin bilsbo3 mayna
 

Mango Chutney

Moderator
Staff member
As you may imagine, these values and this type of parenting (more common in more traditional families and poorer families generally) will lead to serious psychological trauma
I strongly agree with this, and with your description of the old fashioned roles still in place for Tunisian men and women/boys and girls.
A narcissist is not born that way, he/she is created by a childhood trauma.....and knowing what I do about Tunisia, I can understand why the figures for narcissism, if counted, would be so high.

They say the child of a bad upbringing goes one of two ways: They grow up to become an empath, to ensure nobody else feels as they did, they like to help people.
Or they become a narcissist, their emotions detach from their brains, they love and trust nobody, as a way of ensuring they never hurt that way again.
They become cold, calculated and selfish.

Neither of these are conscious decisions, it is our bodies way of putting defence mechanisms in place to protect either themselves (narcissist) or others (empath).

My childhood was extremely abusive....I became an empath.
Houssem’s upbringing was not violent, but not nice in terms of pressure, expectations and in punishments....he became a narcissist, as did my mother.

What I would love to know, is why the majority of rats turn narcissist, and not empath.
 

Med.Amine

Well-Known Member
I strongly agree with this, and with your description of the old fashioned roles still in place for Tunisian men and women/boys and girls.
A narcissist is not born that way, he/she is created by a childhood trauma.....and knowing what I do about Tunisia, I can understand why the figures for narcissism, if counted, would be so high.

They say the child of a bad upbringing goes one of two ways: They grow up to become an empath, to ensure nobody else feels as they did, they like to help people.
Or they become a narcissist, their emotions detach from their brains, they love and trust nobody, as a way of ensuring they never hurt that way again.
They become cold, calculated and selfish.

Neither of these are conscious decisions, it is our bodies way of putting defence mechanisms in place to protect either themselves (narcissist) or others (empath).

My childhood was extremely abusive....I became an empath.
Houssem’s upbringing was not violent, but not nice in terms of pressure, expectations and in punishments....he became a narcissist, as did my mother.

What I would love to know, is why the majority of rats turn narcissist, and not empath.
I'd say the it is more socially acceptable, Tunisians culture sees goodness as weakness sadly enough .
 

Mango Chutney

Moderator
Staff member
i can confirm , that 95% of Tunisian are not open minded ....and normally you know that before you marry him ...
rats are stupids that's true but how tf a supid can scam if the victim are not idiott too ?
i'm not talking about your situation but the girls who send money etc... to their rat ,
tha't the problem to be clear you have not lived in the same condition maybe you trust people easly and that the problem.
btw from where your ex ?
I know they are not open minded....I would actually raise your percentage to 99%.....because every new generation is being raised the same way....Tunisia is not progressing.

For the record, I did not marry my rat. He is from Tunis. What part of Tunisia are you from?

Nobody, not in any country around the globe, could ever be called stupid for falling for the mask of a narcissist. Even professionals hate working with these people, as they are notoriously difficult to diagnose and they try to fish the professional.

I grew up in brown substance....let’s not compare my upbringing to yours....because I suspect mine would beat yours hands down in terms of trauma.

I may not have given my rat money, but my experience is still the same as every victim and survivor here....I fell for the mask of a narcissist, was brainwashed, trapped in his evil web of deceit....and had to go through the same hell recovery process, whilst trying to beat my addiction to a rat.
Never compare us to each other....our physical experiences may have differed slightly, but our emotional experiences were identical.....we were all scammed by rats.
 

Femme Fatale

Inactive
I'd say the it is more socially acceptable, Tunisians culture sees goodness as weakness sadly enough .
Thank you for admitting this. We have seen this and witnessed this a lot. Goodness and weakness does not belong in the same vocabulary. There is nothing weak about being good. Med, this is the reason Tunisia is suffering.

Why attempt to project that unto others? Why can’t they keep that crap inside of Tunisia and leave us alone? I’ve always wondered this. Why mess with us in the first place?
 

Med.Amine

Well-Known Member
ye sahbi mghir zina lezmik tista3mel klem 9wi famech fi9o w yofa mawdhou3 jimla rana tmasa5na jbora mn chira w isis mn chira .. we7ed wala y7chm bch 9oul rani tounsi ..... fi 3alem kemel man3outin bilsbo3 mayna
I'm gonna translate what you said so that everyone would understand, I hope you don't mind since it's rude if I don't :
"My friend, you have to use strong words to get the message across and this thing can end, our reputation is in the toilet from these despicable rats on one hand and Isis on the other hand, I'm ashamed to even tell people I'm tunisian now, we're internationally disliked"

-ena fehmek, ou m3ak 100%, ama hadhouma ness lezem n3awnouhom bch yefhmou alli manech lkol hakka, Tsebhom ou tbahdalhom ma3neha athbat fekrethom alina, ou ala fekra, ena manich lehna bch nbara2 tounes wala el twensa, ena hné bch n3awen, nans7ek ahda chwaya ou 5amem felli t9oul fih et merci

(Translating again : "I understand you, and I'm with you 100%, but these people need support and help, so they can understand that we're not all like that,calling them names and disrespecting them is simply proving their point, and on another note, I'm not here to prove Tunisian people's innocence, I'm here to help, I advise you calm down a bit and think of what you're saying, and thank you")
 
I know they are not open minded....I would actually raise your percentage to 99%.....because every new generation is being raised the same way....Tunisia is not progressing.

For the record, I did not marry my rat. He is from Tunis. What part of Tunisia are you from?

Nobody, not in any country around the globe, could ever be called stupid for falling for the mask of a narcissist. Even professionals hate working with these people, as they are notoriously difficult to diagnose and they try to fish the professional.

I grew up in brown substance....let’s not compare my upbringing to yours....because I suspect mine would beat yours hands down in terms of trauma.

I may not have given my rat money, but my experience is still the same as every victim and survivor here....I fell for the mask of a narcissist, was brainwashed, trapped in his evil web of deceit....and had to go through the same hell recovery process, whilst trying to beat my addiction to a rat.
Never compare us to each other....our physical experiences may have differed slightly, but our emotional experiences were identical.....we were all scammed by rats.
ya i understand
i'm from H life :)
 

Med.Amine

Well-Known Member
Thank you for admitting this. We have seen this and witnessed this a lot. Goodness and weakness does not belong in the same vocabulary. There is nothing weak about being good. Med, this is the reason Tunisia is suffering.

Why attempt to project that unto others? Why can’t they keep that crap inside of Tunisia and leave us alone? I’ve always wondered this. Why mess with us in the first place?
This one is harsh, but after the damage is done, you are nothing but prey to them, what may seem to you like injustice is to them only natural, you're nothing more than an empty orifice and a wallet, I do hope we see change, for your sake
 
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Femme Fatale

Inactive
by the way i feel that i'm not welcome here , so thank you for discussion and bye
just try to stop this kind of people , that's all i want :thumbsup:
You were and are more than welcome here. But your approach is all too common. You come in acting like Superman, ready to save the day. Then go straight to insults. You want to help, them start within yourself and change your heart. You can’t be the problem and the solution, and you are both. You are welcome here, but if you insult us, then put your battle gear on, cus we will defend ourselves and educate you at the same time.

So welcome!
 

Vampirecat

Inactive
I have a theory as to why Mr.Couscous and Tuna Fish is behaving the way he does :
Assuming he is indeed a man, and assuming he is pure of heart (as in he doesn't have any bad intentions) I would say he is imposing his own morals on to the victims of the Bezness scam :

In Tunisia, boys are raised differently from girls, it is established from a young age that femininity and masculinity are for women and men (respectively) and that there is no gray area, men are expected to always be strong, brave,to take risks and sacrifice (somewhat idealistic but bear with me) and on the other hand women are expected to always be weaker, more submissive, shy and to prioritize themselves and their offspring.

examples :
-If any technical, or grunt work need be done, the son is for it ,yet, if any clothes need be washed, kids watched or food cooked, the daughter is for it.
-If the son is in pain, physically or mentally, he'll simply be told to "man up" (keyword here) and deal with it, however if the daughter is in pain she will receive affection and be told "It'll all be ok" (etc).
-If the son messes up, he will receive physical punishment almost indefinitely, if the daughter messed up she'll be punished in other ways and even if physical punishment is involved, won't be as severe.

I'm not trying to stir up controversy but follow along if you may;
As you may imagine, these values and this type of parenting (more common in more traditional families and poorer families generally) will lead to serious psychological trauma, which, according to my theory, explains the lack of empathy that Mr.Couscous is exhibiting, he simply lost the ability to empathize with others due the repeated lack of empathy towards him (I was at one point like this, and I know plenty of people whom are like this),I'm not trying to portray him as a victim but what I'm trying to say is his behavior might seem like a normal response to him and he might simply not know any better . I will go as far as to say that the psychological trauma might explain why Tunisian men seem to resent women so much both Tunisian women and foreigners, even marriage, to them is just a ticket to having children (and beating women) then again, this is my theory and I simply don't have the data to prove it, just reasoning and anecdotal evidence.
Feel free to criticize and thank you for reading through it all ^^
I agree. But sometimes the muslim boy is king everybody bow to him . Certainly in nassholes case. His sister trrated him like a loving hisband
 

Med.Amine

Well-Known Member
I agree. But sometimes the muslim boy is king everybody bow to him . Certainly in nassholes case. His sister trrated him like a loving hisband
Yes that tends to be common, but then again, the boy is not cut any slack whatsoever.
I apologize if it may seemed like I was discriminating, my point is that Tunisian culture doesn't acknowledge emotions, to the point of dehumanizing people, turning men into machines and women into slaves/pets
 

Femme Fatale

Inactive
Yes that tends to be common, but then again, the boy is not cut any slack whatsoever.
I apologize if it may seemed like I was discriminating, my point is that Tunisian culture doesn't acknowledge emotions, to the point of dehumanizing people, turning men into machines and women into slaves/pets
This is sad. And their families are even worse. Not only do we deal with rats, we have to deal with their family as well. The entire rat family is in on the scam.

How do you even survive there with such a different mentality as them? Is it hard?
 

Med.Amine

Well-Known Member
This is sad. And their families are even worse. Not only do we deal with rats, we have to deal with their family as well. The entire rat family is in on the scam.

How do you even survive there with such a different mentality as them? Is it hard?
I was mostly raised by the internet, it has its pros and cons, I socialize mostly online, I have some very good friends from around the world, hopefully I can make more here ^^, it's not much but it's enough, and I'm lucky enough to have met like minded people in real life too .
thank you, I appreciate your concern <3
 

Femme Fatale

Inactive
I was mostly raised by the internet, it has its pros and cons, I socialize mostly online, I have some very good friends from around the world, hopefully I can make more here ^^, it's not much but it's enough, and I'm lucky enough to have met like minded people in real life too .
thank you, I appreciate your concern <3
Well I truly hope that you are able to reach every goal you set for yourself even if the odds are stacked against you. I hope that one day more people from your country would adapt your mentality. We know there are bad people in the entire world. But to intentionally inflict pain amongst innocent people who are trying to see the good in them just doesn’t sit well with any of us.

I gave my rat the benefit of the doubt. I really tried to see pass all the rat stuff and give him a chance. He decided to be a rat instead and I let him. I rather help other victims. But most Tunisians are not doing anything from the inside of the country, with the exception of you (but you’re only one person). Not sure if there is hope for Tunisia, but I do hope that there is hope for you.
 

Med.Amine

Well-Known Member
Well I truly hope that you are able to reach every goal you set for yourself even if the odds are stacked against you. I hope that one day more people from your country would adapt your mentality. We know there are bad people in the entire world. But to intentionally inflict pain amongst innocent people who are trying to see the good in them just doesn’t sit well with any of us.

I gave my rat the benefit of the doubt. I really tried to see pass all the rat stuff and give him a chance. He decided to be a rat instead and I let him. I rather help other victims. But most Tunisians are not doing anything from the inside of the country, with the exception of you (but you’re only one person). Not sure if there is hope for Tunisia, but I do hope that there is hope for you.
That truly warms my heart, you guys made my day <3

"You stare into the abyss and the abyss, the abyss stares back at you" as in, if you heroically wanted to kill all killers and went ahead and done it unbeknownst to you, you yourself would have become a killer, no better than the villains you claim to fight :
You were and always will be brave for what you do,for resisting the temptation, to still be able to show kindness despite being burned time and time again, it takes strength , keep inspiring people ^^
 

Heidi

Inactive
"You stare into the abyss and the abyss, the abyss stares back at you" as in, if you heroically wanted to kill all killers and went ahead and done it unbeknownst to you, you yourself would have become a killer, no better than the villains you claim to fight
Nietzsche said when you stare into the abyss, sometimes it stares back; Nietzsche had obviously had his first encounter with a Marine Corps Sergeant ;)
 

Big Bang Theory

Senior Rat Expert
....... and when I went in May we slept in the same bed once and had sex 2 times. We didn’t use anything but I’m on the pill so I’ll not be pregnant. ........
You might not be worried about getting pregnant but have you thought about sexually transmitted diseases??
Please get yourself checked at an STD clinic.
STD's are rife in Tunisia, we have members here who have caught life long and life threatening STD's
 

Vampirecat

Inactive
Yeah after i cottoned on to his tricks he was getting up 2 here and back home i made him wear condoms most of the time. So terrible its crazy. Everyone even school mums saw him with this one girl alk the time in town and in her car. He denied of course what an embarrassment he was meant to be working . Then active on his many facebook messenger total absolute male whore. Y these muslimas want them is beyond me . Find a decent muslim a clean guy x
 

Mystery

Inactive
Yeah after i cottoned on to his tricks he was getting up 2 here and back home i made him wear condoms most of the time. So terrible its crazy. Everyone even school mums saw him with this one girl alk the time in town and in her car. He denied of course what an embarrassment he was meant to be working . Then active on his many facebook messenger total absolute male whore. Y these muslimas want them is beyond me . Find a decent muslim a clean guy x
Are there any good ones ?
I've actually not found one.
 

Amira

Rat Expert
Its for the best love . Ive lost 1000s on that filthy bastard. I also lost 2 babys one at 22 weeks Joshua my boy. It hurts like hell . Tbey bastards just destroy everything they touch it takes a long time 2 heal from the carnage they cause. Hrs islamically married another victim now had a baby son. Im praying the baby will be ok and he doesnt bugger off eventually and leave him anyway im out of it now dont care i have my daughter and my partner and im happy i will never go near a foreigner again especially a pretend muslim . Real muslim men wouldnt dare touch us x
Yes. Most good foreign men choose women from their own country and they are not interested in foreign girls at all. We are too naive about dating foreign men and many of us end up with rubbish because we do not know well enough about the culture or language. Europe has been very mixed but it does not help to fall in love with a foreigner even though he / she is born in the european country so there are quite a few of those who bring their culture. That is, their family has brought their culture and traditions to Europe and is not interested in becoming part of Western culture. It will be like ghettos
 

Amira

Rat Expert
It is exciting with other cultures but not being exploited. But that's what happens because they look at us as whores. Many are divorced or have children without being married, so we are put down and we are seen as simple. We can give them HIV etc but after what I have read here some of them are with men and women without protection it is extremely bad.
 

Judithlyn

Senior Rat Expert
It is exciting with other cultures but not being exploited. But that's what happens because they look at us as whores. Many are divorced or have children without being married, so we are put down and we are seen as simple. We can give them HIV etc but after what I have read here some of them are with men and women without protection it is extremely bad.
 
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