In a sticky situation.

Ineedadvice

Member
Joined
Nov 14, 2017
Messages
35
Hello everyone, thanks for approving me.

I have been married to a Tunisian for 5 years. I have lived in Tunisia for 4 of these years married. We live with his family and he supports me. For 5 years we had tried for a baby with no luck until 7 months ago. As luck happens I am having triplets.

He was over the moon when we first found out. Now his attitude has completely changed.
My priority are my babies, but his priorities lie else where. He doesn't come home till 12am every night when he finishes work at 6pm.
He stays in the cafe or with his friends. So I don't see him.
Last month I had a scare and had to go to hospital andrheybsent me to a specialist in Tunis. I am in bed rest as there's a risk I may loose one or all of the babies if I do anything.
My husbands father paid for all of the treatment. When I told my husband to cough up not his dad he shouted at me and smacked me across the face.
I haven't seen him for 5 days now as I left the house and I'm staying with a fellow Brit.

I'm too far gone to travel to the uk and my passport has expired. I'm not in a very good place right now. Stressed is not the word. For my sake and my babies sakes I don't want to leave him but I had to get away from him. He does not know where I am and I haven't been online in Facebook since I left. My number is turned off so no one can contact me. I'm using my friends phone to contact home. I have had money sent to my friends husband from my family which he has given too me. I feel safe here but if I go out I don't know what will happen.

Please help! What can I do???
 

Heidi

Staff member - Moderator
Joined
Dec 9, 2009
Messages
14,009
Hello everyone, thanks for approving me.

I have been married to a Tunisian for 5 years. I have lived in Tunisia for 4 of these years married. We live with his family and he supports me. For 5 years we had tried for a baby with no luck until 7 months ago. As luck happens I am having triplets.

He was over the moon when we first found out. Now his attitude has completely changed.
My priority are my babies, but his priorities lie else where. He doesn't come home till 12am every night when he finishes work at 6pm.
He stays in the cafe or with his friends. So I don't see him.
Last month I had a scare and had to go to hospital andrheybsent me to a specialist in Tunis. I am in bed rest as there's a risk I may loose one or all of the babies if I do anything.
My husbands father paid for all of the treatment. When I told my husband to cough up not his dad he shouted at me and smacked me across the face.
I haven't seen him for 5 days now as I left the house and I'm staying with a fellow Brit.

I'm too far gone to travel to the uk and my passport has expired. I'm not in a very good place right now. Stressed is not the word. For my sake and my babies sakes I don't want to leave him but I had to get away from him. He does not know where I am and I haven't been online in Facebook since I left. My number is turned off so no one can contact me. I'm using my friends phone to contact home. I have had money sent to my friends husband from my family which he has given too me. I feel safe here but if I go out I don't know what will happen.

Please help! What can I do???
Hi Ineedadvice and welcome :)
 

Big Bang Theory

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Dec 8, 2013
Messages
3,213
Hi Ineed advice,
First what do you want to do?
If you want to return to the UK you might be able to still take the ferry?
Contact the British Embassy ASAP to find out if you can get an emergency passport and, if you can, how fast can you fet it.
 

Heidi

Staff member - Moderator
Joined
Dec 9, 2009
Messages
14,009
I'm too far gone to travel to the uk and my passport has expired.
British Embassy Tunis
Urgent assistance
If you’re in Tunisia and you need urgent help (for example, you’ve been attacked, arrested or someone has died), call +216 71 108 700. If you’re in the UK and worried about a British national in Tunisia, call 020 7008 1500.

Get an emergency travel document
You can apply for an emergency travel document if you’re abroad and your passport has been lost or stolen, damaged or expired, and you can’t get a new or replacement passport in time to travel.

https://www.gov.uk/world/organisations/british-embassy-tunis

Do you have a Carte de Sejour? Otherwise you'll have to pay a fine before you are allowed to leave the country
 
Last edited:

Ineedadvice

Member
Joined
Nov 14, 2017
Messages
35
British Embassy Tunis
Urgent assistance
If you’re in Tunisia and you need urgent help (for example, you’ve been attacked, arrested or someone has died), call +216 71 108 700. If you’re in the UK and worried about a British national in Tunisia, call 020 7008 1500.

Get an emergency travel document
You can apply for an emergency travel document if you’re abroad and your passport has been lost or stolen, damaged or expired, and you can’t get a new or replacement passport in time to travel.

https://www.gov.uk/world/organisations/british-embassy-tunis
I can do that tomorrow morning. Problem is my expired passport is in the family home and I don't want to go back there. If I can help it I don't him knowing. Can my family send my birth certificate to prove who I am.
 

Heidi

Staff member - Moderator
Joined
Dec 9, 2009
Messages
14,009
I can do that tomorrow morning. Problem is my expired passport is in the family home and I don't want to go back there. If I can help it I don't him knowing. Can my family send my birth certificate to prove who I am.
Why don't you call the UK embassy and ask them :) They deal with that kind of problem all the time. I would also ask about passports for the children, if you decide to stay until after the birth
 
Last edited:

Mango Chutney

Staff Member
Joined
Aug 29, 2015
Messages
11,526
Hello everyone, thanks for approving me.

I have been married to a Tunisian for 5 years. I have lived in Tunisia for 4 of these years married. We live with his family and he supports me. For 5 years we had tried for a baby with no luck until 7 months ago. As luck happens I am having triplets.

He was over the moon when we first found out. Now his attitude has completely changed.
My priority are my babies, but his priorities lie else where. He doesn't come home till 12am every night when he finishes work at 6pm.
He stays in the cafe or with his friends. So I don't see him.
Last month I had a scare and had to go to hospital andrheybsent me to a specialist in Tunis. I am in bed rest as there's a risk I may loose one or all of the babies if I do anything.
My husbands father paid for all of the treatment. When I told my husband to cough up not his dad he shouted at me and smacked me across the face.
I haven't seen him for 5 days now as I left the house and I'm staying with a fellow Brit.

I'm too far gone to travel to the uk and my passport has expired. I'm not in a very good place right now. Stressed is not the word. For my sake and my babies sakes I don't want to leave him but I had to get away from him. He does not know where I am and I haven't been online in Facebook since I left. My number is turned off so no one can contact me. I'm using my friends phone to contact home. I have had money sent to my friends husband from my family which he has given too me. I feel safe here but if I go out I don't know what will happen.

Please help! What can I do???
Oh wow.....you truly are in a sticky situation, you poor thing :(
Staying off FB and leaving your phone off is great, but what about the rest of your family? They'll be worried sick if they can't contact you.
What do you want to do? Do you want to return to England? The babies will have to be born in Tunisia if you are unable to fly or sail back. Could you get as far as Italy, so that the babies are born in Europe? Triplets will be small, probably need neo natal care when they arrive....is this care good in Tunisia?
You can get your passport sorted, that isn't a problem. If you can wait until this evening, I will be able to talk you step by step through the entire process, but the person I know will not be back until 21.30pm.
To be honest, your passport is your least concern here. Wow......what a pickle! You sure do it in style, girl!
 

Ineedadvice

Member
Joined
Nov 14, 2017
Messages
35
Oh wow.....you truly are in a sticky situation, you poor thing :(
Staying off FB and leaving your phone off is great, but what about the rest of your family? They'll be worried sick if they can't contact you.
What do you want to do? Do you want to return to England? The babies will have to be born in Tunisia if you are unable to fly or sail back. Could you get as far as Italy, so that the babies are born in Europe? Triplets will be small, probably need neo natal care when they arrive....is this care good in Tunisia?
You can get your passport sorted, that isn't a problem. If you can wait until this evening, I will be able to talk you step by step through the entire process, but the person I know will not be back until 21.30pm.
To be honest, your passport is your least concern here. Wow......what a pickle! You sure do it in style, girl!
I am in contact with my family I'm using my friends phone. They have the number and we are talking regularly.
I need to do the easiest thing for me at this point. I can't deal with much more. The care I've been having here is not much and I know it's going to cost me a fortune in funds that I don't have. Right now I'm just scared as my babies could come any day!
I'm scared if my husband finds out then he will stop me leaving.

What would you suggest is the easiest way through this at this point?
 

Mango Chutney

Staff Member
Joined
Aug 29, 2015
Messages
11,526
I am in contact with my family I'm using my friends phone. They have the number and we are talking regularly.
I need to do the easiest thing for me at this point. I can't deal with much more. The care I've been having here is not much and I know it's going to cost me a fortune in funds that I don't have. Right now I'm just scared as my babies could come any day!
I'm scared if my husband finds out then he will stop me leaving.

What would you suggest is the easiest way through this at this point?
Poor you :( I really feel for you :(
At the moment, I'm really limited with knowledge, but if you can wait just a few more hours, I will contact you via PM with more information.
You said you found out seven months ago you were pregnant, so I'm guessing your gestation period is currently around thirty two weeks. With a single pregnancy, travel abroad would still be possible, but you have three little munchkins cooking in there....I think realistically, on medical grounds, travel would be incredibly risky....but Italy is not so far away.
You said he hit you round the face? Has he ever been violent with you before that time? I'm not sure what sorta man it takes to attack a pregnant woman, but mine did too (resulting in miscarriage). Think long and hard about whether that is the kind of man you wish to be with, the kind of man you wish to help raise your babies.
You are safe where you are for now and you are not alone, so that's good. Are you not needing antenatal check ups? I'm not being funny, but you must be a decent size by this point, Tunisian people talk....so be prepared that he may find out where you are.
Do you know the way to your nearest police station, just in case the shit hits the fan? Hopefully, that won't happen, but at least you will be prepared.
Your blood pressure must be through the roof! Try to stay calmish, a multiple pregnancy is more likely to come early than single....so stop stressing too much, just focus on the fact that the four of you are safe for now and I'll get back to you later :)
 

Ineedadvice

Member
Joined
Nov 14, 2017
Messages
35
Poor you :( I really feel for you :(
At the moment, I'm really limited with knowledge, but if you can wait just a few more hours, I will contact you via PM with more information.
You said you found out seven months ago you were pregnant, so I'm guessing your gestation period is currently around thirty two weeks. With a single pregnancy, travel abroad would still be possible, but you have three little munchkins cooking in there....I think realistically, on medical grounds, travel would be incredibly risky....but Italy is not so far away.
You said he hit you round the face? Has he ever been violent with you before that time? I'm not sure what sorta man it takes to attack a pregnant woman, but mine did too (resulting in miscarriage). Think long and hard about whether that is the kind of man you wish to be with, the kind of man you wish to help raise your babies.
You are safe where you are for now and you are not alone, so that's good. Are you not needing antenatal check ups? I'm not being funny, but you must be a decent size by this point, Tunisian people talk....so be prepared that he may find out where you are.
Do you know the way to your nearest police station, just in case the shit hits the fan? Hopefully, that won't happen, but at least you will be prepared.
Your blood pressure must be through the roof! Try to stay calmish, a multiple pregnancy is more likely to come early than single....so stop stressing too much, just focus on the fact that the four of you are safe for now and I'll get back to you later :)
I am due around the 1st of January. From what I've read twins can come from 34 weeks on and triplets even sooner too Would I even be able to board a ferry?
I am huge and very uncomfortable. I am feeling the strain of what's going on too. The babies are very active today which is a good thing I suppose.

He has never hit me before I just don't know where it came from. I don't want him to miss out on his children growing up. But I will not tolerate him smacking me again.

As for the check ups I'm due to go next week, weather I make it I don't know. I'm around a mile away from the family home. As far as I know he doesn't know anyone this side of town. There is a police station not far from here but I wouldn't be able to go there alone if Anthony happened. I can't speak Arabic or French.

I can't thank you enough for your reply. I will wait further messages. Thank you
 

Heidi

Staff member - Moderator
Joined
Dec 9, 2009
Messages
14,009
Would I even be able to board a ferry?
That depends on the ferry company. Normaly, pregnant women, from the 6th month onward can travel only if they have a medical certificate authorising the voyage by sea, which is not older than 7 days
 

Ineedadvice

Member
Joined
Nov 14, 2017
Messages
35
That depends on the ferry company. Normaly, pregnant women, from the 6th month onward can travel only if they have a medical certificate authorising the voyage by sea, which is not older than 7 days
I will look into sorting emergency travel document out asap and go to doctor if I can. Thanks hun
 

Mango Chutney

Staff Member
Joined
Aug 29, 2015
Messages
11,526
I will look into sorting emergency travel document out asap and go to doctor if I can. Thanks hun
You need to go to the British Embassy in Tunis. The consulates in Tunis and Sousse can advise you, but the embassy is where things get done.
Your passport is compromised, as it is in third party hands, but you can't report it officially as lost or stolen until you are in Britain. You CAN get an emergency travel document. If you have any proof of ID on you, take it with you. Speaking as on a personal level, I think you need to knock travel on the head until after the babies are born, it's just too risky with three babies, but Italy is not far....it's a lot of stress for you though and will impact your physical health.
If you are going back to your husband after the birth, it doesn't really matter where they are born, but if you want out, it will be very difficult once they are born, they will be Tunisian citizens regardless of where they are born, your rights as their mother in Tunisia are minimal.
I think it will be a miracle if you are given permission to travel, so make two sets of plans, one for a birth in Tunisia, one for birth outside of Tunisia.
It's a shame he did not demonstrate his anger earlier on in the pregnancy when travel would have been easier.
 

Mango Chutney

Staff Member
Joined
Aug 29, 2015
Messages
11,526
Do you know the passport number? Are you now a Tunisian citizen or do you have a British address?
 

Laura2014

Staff Member and frightfully nice rat catcher
Staff member
Joined
Nov 10, 2014
Messages
3,870
I will look into sorting emergency travel document out asap and go to doctor if I can. Thanks hun
Very sorry to hear of your predicament and pleased you are with people you can trust.

I would just add my own thoughts briefly but don’t want to overwhelm you with well meaning advice. There are many good reasons why your children would be in a much better position being born in the UK or Europe. Not least from a medical perspective as they WILL require specialist neonatal Care after birth, but also to be born as British citizens. There are circumstances which I am pretty sure you would meet which would give you consular support although you would have to meet the costs of travel and for the emergency passport yourself. Namely that there is a potential risk to you and your unborn children if you stay. From potential violence but also due to the lack of appropriate medical support. There may be charities who might support you in getting home. Getting to Italy would be the first and easiest step, your emergency passport might only alllow you to travel across five countries. You would clearly need to rest along the way. None of this is without risk but it’s weighing up the risks of staying there with the risks of travel but once out of Tunisia you would receive much better medical care. As it would be deemed emergency Care an E1-11 should cover this. Do you have a valid card?

Tunisia is a small gossipy place and your location not to difficult to track down. I’m really sorry that you are having to deal with all this while trying to stay well for yourself and your babies. Could a relative fly out to you? Much safer to have someone from the UK there.
 

Ineedadvice

Member
Joined
Nov 14, 2017
Messages
35
You need to go to the British Embassy in Tunis. The consulates in Tunis and Sousse can advise you, but the embassy is where things get done.
Your passport is compromised, as it is in third party hands, but you can't report it officially as lost or stolen until you are in Britain. You CAN get an emergency travel document. If you have any proof of ID on you, take it with you. Speaking as on a personal level, I think you need to knock travel on the head until after the babies are born, it's just too risky with three babies, but Italy is not far....it's a lot of stress for you though and will impact your physical health.
If you are going back to your husband after the birth, it doesn't really matter where they are born, but if you want out, it will be very difficult once they are born, they will be Tunisian citizens regardless of where they are born, your rights as their mother in Tunisia are minimal.
I think it will be a miracle if you are given permission to travel, so make two sets of plans, one for a birth in Tunisia, one for birth outside of Tunisia.
It's a shame he did not demonstrate his anger earlier on in the pregnancy when travel would have been easier.
I was always taught what sort of man hits a woman. I need out. But can't he report me for leaving him and I get arrested?
If I can get out of Tunisia then I will try that. Money is not an issue. My family will help me and meet me. I could ask my brother to fly over.
Only id I've with me now is my British driving license. Is this enough proof over here as to prove who I am?
 

Ineedadvice

Member
Joined
Nov 14, 2017
Messages
35
Do you know the passport number? Are you now a Tunisian citizen or do you have a British address?
I am still a British citizen. I have a residence card here which is due for renewal in 4 months time. But it's at the house. I don't know my passport number either. I can use my parents address. That's my last known uk address.
 

Ineedadvice

Member
Joined
Nov 14, 2017
Messages
35
Very sorry to hear of your predicament and pleased you are with people you can trust.

I would just add my own thoughts briefly but don’t want to overwhelm you with well meaning advice. There are many good reasons why your children would be in a much better position being born in the UK or Europe. Not least from a medical perspective as they WILL require specialist neonatal Care after birth, but also to be born as British citizens. There are circumstances which I am pretty sure you would meet which would give you consular support although you would have to meet the costs of travel and for the emergency passport yourself. Namely that there is a potential risk to you and your unborn children if you stay. From potential violence but also due to the lack of appropriate medical support. There may be charities who might support you in getting home. Getting to Italy would be the first and easiest step, your emergency passport might only alllow you to travel across five countries. You would clearly need to rest along the way. None of this is without risk but it’s weighing up the risks of staying there with the risks of travel but once out of Tunisia you would receive much better medical care. As it would be deemed emergency Care an E1-11 should cover this. Do you have a valid card?

Tunisia is a small gossipy place and your location not to difficult to track down. I’m really sorry that you are having to deal with all this while trying to stay well for yourself and your babies. Could a relative fly out to you? Much safer to have someone from the UK there.
I don't take offence please say you opinion if you wish. I haven't got an ehic card unfortunately. Money is not an issue so paying wouldn't be a problem. I can ask my brother to fly out if need be. It's all so overwhelming
 

Mango Chutney

Staff Member
Joined
Aug 29, 2015
Messages
11,526
I need my person in the know with me before I can confirm anything. Time is dragging, arghhhhhhhh!!
Laura's suggestion of having a family member fly over is a really good idea....especially if it's a protective male.
The British Embassy in Tunis is a must, you need to sort out travel documents. If a family member flies over, they could bring your birth certificate over. Keep hold of your driving licence, just in case.
Medical care in Tunisia is poor, your babies will be small and highly likely to need a little bit of help when born....if it is at all possible and safe to get to Italy, they will recieve better care.
You are only one mile from him, the odds of him locating a heavily pregnant British woman are high. You can't stay hidden in the house if you need antenatal care...so be careful outside of the house, keep a fully charged phone on you and don't be alone.
 

Ineedadvice

Member
Joined
Nov 14, 2017
Messages
35
It's him who could be reporting for his violance toward a woman, moreover pregnant woman. You had very serious reason to leave him.
I can't prove that he smacked me as there was only me and him in the house at the time.
 

Ineedadvice

Member
Joined
Nov 14, 2017
Messages
35
I need my person in the know with me before I can confirm anything. Time is dragging, arghhhhhhhh!!
Laura's suggestion of having a family member fly over is a really good idea....especially if it's a protective male.
The British Embassy in Tunis is a must, you need to sort out travel documents. If a family member flies over, they could bring your birth certificate over. Keep hold of your driving licence, just in case.
Medical care in Tunisia is poor, your babies will be small and highly likely to need a little bit of help when born....if it is at all possible and safe to get to Italy, they will recieve better care.
You are only one mile from him, the odds of him locating a heavily pregnant British woman are high. You can't stay hidden in the house if you need antenatal care...so be careful outside of the house, keep a fully charged phone on you and don't be alone.
do you think it's wise if I arrange to stay some place in Tunis and try to leave early hours?
 

beznessbitch

Well-Known Member
Joined
Aug 29, 2017
Messages
809
I would definitely get your brother to fly out and help u do all the things u need to do. Must be awful being there in these circumstances when u need ur family. What a dilemma you are in. Seek professional opinion on travelling. Maybe get the European health card from here.. get your family to apply and just write your signature.. they will never know! Just in case u need to go to italy or back to europe.. you will need your money for other things with three babies coming.. sending u lots of love xx
 
Top Bottom