Introducing the Queen of one- liners our very own simple :)

simple

Well-Known Member
Joined
Nov 1, 2011
Messages
7,060
She is here not only to share her experience and help others, she keeps us chuckling as well (personally she makes me wee a little:D im old!!)

Take it a way Simple ;)
Oh my goodness !! ive got a thread !!!!! I will post a joke a day on here ,maybe more ,so who ever needs a giggle is welcome Thank you Tiger lil ,,,,Your never to old to learn something stupid << And if your rat is giving you the hump ,,,,,remember the kettle , is up to its neck with boiling water ,but it still sings!!
 

Caramel

Clairvoyante !!
Joined
Sep 4, 2009
Messages
3,946
How do you make a rats eyes sparkle??? Put a light to his ear ,,, A rat will only talk to you after sex ,,if his phone is handy !!
Keep them on this thread, please. They bring a chuckle to my face every time. At least, nice to have them all under one thread. Perhaps you can copy some of your other one liners and put them here. They are so funny. I am a big fan.
 

simple

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Nov 1, 2011
Messages
7,060
This story is true and im sure a lot of you must have read about it ,,,,But its so funny ,it has to be put in the thread ,,,,,A Tunisian man was being interviewed by Airport police at Heathrow ,He appeared harrased and was looking nervous ,so 2 officers took aside to question him ,,,{Police ,,, " Your name " {Tunisian " Abdul Aziz " [Police " Sex " {Tunisian " Yes 6 times a week " [Police ,no no i mean male or female " [Tunisian " " Dosnt matter male or female sometimes even camal " <<,
 

simple

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Joined
Nov 1, 2011
Messages
7,060
You know your Tunisian when;[ 1] You have an endless supply of dates ,pistachios and pumpkin seeds [,,2] You use your forehead and eyebrows ,to point something out ,[,3] You have at least 70 cousins ,[,,4] You have 4 cousins ,an uncle,brother in law and 7 friends .called Mohamed,,[ 5] Your mother does everything for you ,if you are male.[.6] You talk for 1 hour at the front door ,when leaving someones house,[,,7] You do all the house work and cooking ,if your female..[.8] You hug and kiss relatives ,youve never seen before .[.9] Your mother shouts at the top of her voice when cous cous is ready ,even if your only in the next room ,[,,10] You actually like yogurt drinks ,,
 

the nutty professor

Bad Teacher
Joined
Aug 9, 2012
Messages
2,526
You know your Tunisian when;[ 1] You have an endless supply of dates ,pistachios and pumpkin seeds [,,2] You use your forehead and eyebrows ,to point something out ,[,3] You have at least 70 cousins ,[,,4] You have 4 cousins ,an uncle,brother in law and 7 friends .called Mohamed,,[ 5] Your mother does everything for you ,if you are male.[.6] You talk for 1 hour at the front door ,when leaving someones house,[,,7] You do all the house work and cooking ,if your female..[.8] You hug and kiss relatives ,youve never seen before .[.9] Your mother shouts at the top of her voice when cous cous is ready ,even if your only in the next room ,[,,10] You actually like yogurt drinks ,,
11.
You go round the corner to the buvette to get your beloved wife a can of diet coke cola and come back an hour later without coke but with 2 cousins in tow and a sandwich!
 

simple

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Joined
Nov 1, 2011
Messages
7,060
" Dont kid yourself " Would be a great slogan for a condom company ,,,, IT dosnt matter if the glass is half full or half empty ,,,,theres clearly more rooom for alcohol ,,, !!! We live in a world where the relationship status on facebook is more official than a wedding ring !
 

simple

Well-Known Member
Joined
Nov 1, 2011
Messages
7,060
ODE TO A RAT ;;;;; I see your face when i am dreaming ,thats why i wake up screaming .Kind,intelligent ,loving and hot .this describes everything your not .Roses are wilting ,violets are dead ,the sugar bowl empty and so is your head.Love may be beautiful ,love may be bliss ,i only slept with you because i was pissed .My feelings for you no words can tell ,except for maybe ,,go to hell ,,,
 
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