Introducing the Queen of one- liners our very own simple :)

Discussion in 'The Cat's Coffee House' started by tigerlil, Jul 4, 2013.

  1. tigerlil

    tigerlil Moderator Staff Member

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    She is here not only to share her experience and help others, she keeps us chuckling as well (personally she makes me wee a little:D im old!!)

    Take it a way Simple ;)
     
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  2. simple

    simple Well-Known Member

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    Oh my goodness !! ive got a thread !!!!! I will post a joke a day on here ,maybe more ,so who ever needs a giggle is welcome Thank you Tiger lil ,,,,Your never to old to learn something stupid << And if your rat is giving you the hump ,,,,,remember the kettle , is up to its neck with boiling water ,but it still sings!!
     
  3. simple

    simple Well-Known Member

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    How do you make a rats eyes sparkle??? Put a light to his ear ,,, A rat will only talk to you after sex ,,if his phone is handy !!
     
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  4. tigerlil

    tigerlil Moderator Staff Member

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    :):):thumbsup:
     
    simple likes this.
  5. Caramel

    Caramel Clairvoyante !!

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    Keep them on this thread, please. They bring a chuckle to my face every time. At least, nice to have them all under one thread. Perhaps you can copy some of your other one liners and put them here. They are so funny. I am a big fan.
     
    simple likes this.
  6. the nutty professor

    the nutty professor Bad Teacher

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    Loving your work, simple
     
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  7. Galadriel

    Galadriel Globe Trotter Extraordinaire

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    simply hilarious simple......more than a chuckle often howling laughter;)
     
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  8. simple

    simple Well-Known Member

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    Caramels favourite !!! What do you call a Tunisian virgin ??? Never been laid on !!For Laurence !! If i were a dog and rat was a flower ,id lift up my leg and give him a shower !!
     
  9. simple

    simple Well-Known Member

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    This story is true and im sure a lot of you must have read about it ,,,,But its so funny ,it has to be put in the thread ,,,,,A Tunisian man was being interviewed by Airport police at Heathrow ,He appeared harrased and was looking nervous ,so 2 officers took aside to question him ,,,{Police ,,, " Your name " {Tunisian " Abdul Aziz " [Police " Sex " {Tunisian " Yes 6 times a week " [Police ,no no i mean male or female " [Tunisian " " Dosnt matter male or female sometimes even camal " <<,
     
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  10. CUDDLE

    CUDDLE Well-Known Member

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    simple you are a true talent xx
     
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  11. simple

    simple Well-Known Member

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    You know your Tunisian when;[ 1] You have an endless supply of dates ,pistachios and pumpkin seeds [,,2] You use your forehead and eyebrows ,to point something out ,[,3] You have at least 70 cousins ,[,,4] You have 4 cousins ,an uncle,brother in law and 7 friends .called Mohamed,,[ 5] Your mother does everything for you ,if you are male.[.6] You talk for 1 hour at the front door ,when leaving someones house,[,,7] You do all the house work and cooking ,if your female..[.8] You hug and kiss relatives ,youve never seen before .[.9] Your mother shouts at the top of her voice when cous cous is ready ,even if your only in the next room ,[,,10] You actually like yogurt drinks ,,
     
  12. the nutty professor

    the nutty professor Bad Teacher

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    11.
    You go round the corner to the buvette to get your beloved wife a can of diet coke cola and come back an hour later without coke but with 2 cousins in tow and a sandwich!
     
  13. simple

    simple Well-Known Member

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    An English tourist ,once told me ,that her rat was an angel ,,, I said your lucky ,,mines still alive !!
     
  14. Ariel

    Ariel Under the Sea

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    hahahahahha! :D
     
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  15. simple

    simple Well-Known Member

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    reading while sun bathing ,makes you well, red,,
     
  16. simple

    simple Well-Known Member

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    " Dont kid yourself " Would be a great slogan for a condom company ,,,, IT dosnt matter if the glass is half full or half empty ,,,,theres clearly more rooom for alcohol ,,, !!! We live in a world where the relationship status on facebook is more official than a wedding ring !
     
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  17. simple

    simple Well-Known Member

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    Theres a fine line between tan and looking like youve rolled around in Doritos ,,,
     
  18. simple

    simple Well-Known Member

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    Beat the shit out of a rat !!! If god is watching ,the least we can do is be entertaining !!
     
  19. simple

    simple Well-Known Member

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    Ive tried to see things from a rats point of view,,,,But i cant seem to get my head that far up his arse !!
     
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  20. simple

    simple Well-Known Member

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    Going to mosque ,dosnt make you a muslim,,,anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car ,,,
     
  21. simple

    simple Well-Known Member

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    How do you describe a well balanced rat ??? One with a chip on both shoulders ,,
     
  22. simple

    simple Well-Known Member

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    Soaps on satalite in Tunisian ,,,, koran nation street ,,,, Middle east enders and Ahmed dale !!
     
  23. simple

    simple Well-Known Member

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    ODE TO A RAT ;;;;; I see your face when i am dreaming ,thats why i wake up screaming .Kind,intelligent ,loving and hot .this describes everything your not .Roses are wilting ,violets are dead ,the sugar bowl empty and so is your head.Love may be beautiful ,love may be bliss ,i only slept with you because i was pissed .My feelings for you no words can tell ,except for maybe ,,go to hell ,,,
     
  24. simple

    simple Well-Known Member

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    How many honest ,caring ,intelligent men in Tunisia ,does it take to wash the dishes ?? Both of them ,!
     
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  25. simple

    simple Well-Known Member

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    What do rats and sperm have in common??They both have a one-in -a million chance of becoming human beings !
     

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