Introducing the Queen of one- liners our very own simple :)

Discussion in 'The Cat's Coffee House' started by tigerlil, Jul 4, 2013.

  1. simple

    simple Well-Known Member

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    My rat walked in once all suited and booted ,,,"Why,dont you look nice " i said ,,"Thanks " he said ,,,,"that wasnt a compliment ,it was a question " i said
     
    Last edited: Nov 8, 2015
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  2. simple

    simple Well-Known Member

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    Channel 5 are to screen a new series about scammers ,,If youve been scammed and would like to take part ,please send your name ,address ,mothers maiden name ,bank details to "Youve been scammed ,Phenicia hotel ,hammamet Tunisia "
     
  3. FoolInLove

    FoolInLove Well-Known Member

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    clap.gif
     
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  4. simple

    simple Well-Known Member

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  5. simple

    simple Well-Known Member

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    " mum ,,i saw santa beating my ex rat outside a shop today " ,,,"Im shocked i dont know what to say ",,"I know ,so am i ,,,i only sent the letter yesterday "..
     
  6. FoolInLove

    FoolInLove Well-Known Member

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    :thumbsup: Yup. Never let them rest!
     
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  7. simple

    simple Well-Known Member

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    The saudi Arabian ,who hid cannabis in his ear ,,,,he was stoned to deaf !!
     
  8. simple

    simple Well-Known Member

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    images (18).jpg Just tell this to rat face ,when he says hes poor and hungry and on the streets !!!
     
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  9. simple

    simple Well-Known Member

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    I read today that part of Hammamets coastline is dissapearing and i thought to myself,,,Is there nothing those F**Kers wont nick !!
     
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  10. Big Bang Theory

    Big Bang Theory Well-Known Member

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    Simps I love you.... it was your jokes that cut into my death like fog and started me laughing again.... it was a huge turning point for me, I can't thank you enough.... keep those jokes coming x
     
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  11. simple

    simple Well-Known Member

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    I love you too XXX :love::love:
     
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  12. simple

    simple Well-Known Member

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  13. simple

    simple Well-Known Member

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    What a week its been for the world ,,terrorist attacks in Paris,earthquakes in Japan ,Mexico and now Greece ,bombings in Baghdad and Beirut ,,,,On the up side Anonymous ,have declared war on isis ,Anyone one esle see the irony ,,,terrorists being attacked by 72 virgins !!
     
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  14. simple

    simple Well-Known Member

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    If you cant afford private medical care ,,just visit an airport ,,You get a free x ray ,a free chest exam and if you mention isis you get a fee colonoscopy !!
     
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  15. simple

    simple Well-Known Member

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    I stayed in the Phencia hotel ,it overlooked the sea,,,Unfortunatley it also overlooked hygeine,good service and edible meals !!
     
  16. simple

    simple Well-Known Member

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    Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a rats sex drive by 90% ,,Its called a wedding cake !!
     
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  17. simple

    simple Well-Known Member

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    How do you turn a rat into a duck??? Point a camera at him ..
     
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  18. simple

    simple Well-Known Member

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    When ever you talk to your rat on the phone ,,please remember ,"This conversation will be recoreded for quality and training purposes"
     
  19. Heidi

    Heidi The Sleuth

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    [​IMG] rofl.gif
     
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  20. FoolInLove

    FoolInLove Well-Known Member

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  21. simple

    simple Well-Known Member

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    I never understood how my rat managed to cheat ?? Because that would require two people who found him attractive ,!!
     
  22. simple

    simple Well-Known Member

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    History was made !!! Saudi women went to the polls for the first time ,to vote for whoever their husbands ordered them to ...
     
  23. Tiger

    Tiger Well-Known Member

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    My ex Rat was concerned b/c they have got big rats in their back garden.He did not know how to get rid of them......Little did he know that the biggest rats was living inside the home.Was eating at the table and sleep in beds in the night........
     
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  24. Tiger

    Tiger Well-Known Member

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    Did you know why it is haram to kill rats in Tunisia? It is b/c you cannot kill friends and family!!!!!
     
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  25. simple

    simple Well-Known Member

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    Its hard to have a decent conversation with a rat ,because they always take things ,,literally !!
     
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