Introducing the Queen of one- liners our very own simple :)

Discussion in 'The Cat's Coffee House' started by tigerlil, Jul 4, 2013.

  1. simple

    simple Well-Known Member

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    Us tourists are crazy ,we spend hundreds, sometimes thousands of pounds for a two week holiday, to relax in the sun,,but go mental when we haggle over a shit piece of ceramic thats costs £5 ...Then when you finally get it down to £3 and take it back to the hotel ,you still feel cheated !!
     
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  2. crystal

    crystal The Punchy Scot

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    where does a cow go on holiday??? Mooooo york :oops: aw well!!
     
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  3. simple

    simple Well-Known Member

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    What do a pulse and an orgasm have in common ?? Rats dont care if she has one ,,
     
  4. simple

    simple Well-Known Member

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    My maths teacher told me that 28 doesn"t go into 15,, I said ,"try telling that to the animation team at the Phenicia ,,,
     
  5. Mango Chutney

    Mango Chutney Well-Known Member

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    Hahaha, that's so bad, it's good!! :D:D
     
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  6. simple

    simple Well-Known Member

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    What do you call a rat in a suit ??? A F***ing C**T,,,,,,,dont let the suit fool you !!
     
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  7. simple

    simple Well-Known Member

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    I knew my rat was gay ,,when he told me his favourite disney film was <A Lad In,,,,
     
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  8. Heidi

    Heidi The Sleuth

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  9. Mango Chutney

    Mango Chutney Well-Known Member

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    Heidi, what were you actually Googling to find this? :D You need to go back to the doctors, I fear you need a higher dose of medication :p
     
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  10. Heidi

    Heidi The Sleuth

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    37e2c3d63d4a2b01b01eb6117215e53c.jpg :p
     
  11. Mango Chutney

    Mango Chutney Well-Known Member

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    YOU ARE NOT NORMAL!!!!! :D:D:D:D
     
  12. Heidi

    Heidi The Sleuth

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    Thank you, dear :cool:

    Unbenannt.JPG
     
  13. simple

    simple Well-Known Member

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    My divorce finally came through !!! The rat and i split the house ,,,,I got the outside...
     
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  14. simple

    simple Well-Known Member

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    Congratulatins West Ham !!! The only club named after the two things isis hate
     
  15. simple

    simple Well-Known Member

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    Ive spent 5 years searching for my ex rats killer,,,,There must be someone out there that will do it !!!
     
  16. simple

    simple Well-Known Member

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    Discover what its like to live in medieval Britian by simply moving to Hammamet !!
     
  17. simple

    simple Well-Known Member

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    My therapist told me that the best way to let go of anger,is to write letters to the ones who hurt you and then burn them.I did that and i feel much better ,but im wondering ,Do i keep the letters?
     
  18. Heidi

    Heidi The Sleuth

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    clap.gif

    I once sent my ex rat a letter that said "Get better soon". He was not ill, just crappy in bed ;)
     
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  19. simple

    simple Well-Known Member

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    My rat once asked me what i would most like to do with his body ,,Apparently identify it was the wrong answer!!
     
  20. beznessbitch

    beznessbitch Well-Known Member

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    so true
     
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  21. simple

    simple Well-Known Member

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    Just heard my ex rat is going to be a father ,,,Wonder if his wife knows about it
     
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  22. simple

    simple Well-Known Member

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    Common english mistakes,,,,Using they"er instaed of their..using an apostrophe to indicate a plural.. ,,,letting rats into the country,,,not using a capital letter after a full stop ...
     
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  23. Brasilgirl

    Brasilgirl Well-Known Member

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    1EA6B26E-2066-4BD4-AD09-68C644BA6302.jpeg
    Anyone know how to get this stuff into Tunisia’s water supply?
     
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  24. Mango Chutney

    Mango Chutney Well-Known Member

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    Hahahaha!!!! :D:D:D:D
     
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  25. simple

    simple Well-Known Member

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    Seeing my ex for the first time in months,left me with just one thought....I wish the neighbours dog would stop digging up my garden !!!
     

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