Is age really just a number?

[Scottish Lassie]

Hi again everyone. Hope you are all well. For some months I have been grappling with the question above. This is mainly aimed at those who were, like me, engaged in an online relationship with a rat...but never ever met them in person. Mine sent me a FB friend request in 2013 but I only started noticing him liking my posts in 2014. We slowly started chatting through public comment replies but later started sending private messages to each other. As I’m sure you all know, the love-bombing doesn’t take long to start and the “golden period” was in full swing before too long. I’ve enjoyed writing poetry since I was a child so have quite a vivid imagination at time. During the “golden period” I felt like a princess and saw my rat as Prince Charming...the only man to ever fully understand me and be willing to hear me out...no matter how trivial my discussions were. He was patient, emphatic and understanding. Only after the devaluation period did I realise that he had only been mirroring me...enjoying the same sport, music, general interests and he loved me reading my poetry to him. This in turn inspired me to write several poems about him. I’m sure many of you had rats who would fill your heads with dreams of a romantic life together, being with each other 24/7 (which started sounding a bit like possessiveness after a year or so). Of course I was the person he thought of as soon as he opened his eyes in the morning and before he fell asleep at night. It was like something out of a romance book....all the compliments and loving gestures. Of course I slowly realised that he was pushing for us to meet and eventually get married (as soon as possible for his own safety). He also told me that he did not want to be forced to join the military services and that he would have to go if I didn’t speed up the process. No pressure of course. My mind would always wander back to the romance of it all...walking along a deserted beach hand in hand and kissing in the rain. So much in love. Even though I was so “in love” with him (or rather “addicted to him”) as time went on and he kept pressing for us to meet and marry (of course being very polite when doing so....after all he only wanted to finally have me in his arms so he could love me and look after me in person), I started thinking about the realities of us actually meeting. Our minds can play tricks on us (with the unmistakable help of the rat of course) and we conjure up romantic scenarios of how we will be when we are together in the real world. My rat and I have a 17 year age gap. I am in my late 40s and still consider myself quite attractive (or so others tell me) and look after my body (although do suffer with the common middle age problems such as backache etc.) I am quite short at just under 5ft 3inches) My rat was over 6ft 3inches. As romantic as the thoughts on my head were, I began to wonder just how comfortable I would feel walking arm in arm or holding hands with a man who could fit me under his armpit. Despite him always saying he would just go down on his knees and kiss me that way so that I would feel more comfortable (as if I’d have him do that out in public), I just couldn’t get used to the thought. Although I tried to not let it enter my mind I couldn’t help but think how uncomfortable I would feel walking around in public with someone who, besides making me look like a midget) was basically young enough to be my son. I know I’ve walked past the odd couple where there is an obvious large age gap...and wondered why they were together...especially when the male seems to look like an Arab or similar. I’m sure there are many couples with huge age gaps who are perfectly happy...but I’m sure many others (don’t want to appear sexist...but mainly the men) are scammers with ulterior motives...such as those mentioned on this site. I hate drawing attention and often say I would love to be able to walk in public and not have anyone see me. If I am walking around with a towering man who looks much younger than me...what would others be thinking? I know I shouldn’t care...but that really bothered me. My rat would tell me how he would just kiss me in the middle of the street or start dancing with me randomly in a shopping mall. He made it sound like something out of a romantic movie...but I just kept thinking to myself, “I don’t think so!” In dreamland it seems so good...but in reality.... He would also tell me how he would make love to me out in public as if that was something normal. I in turn was thinking of my back killing me and how I would never be able to show my face again in my city if anyone saw us. I think these rats watch far too much porn...and I also wonder how many of them actually do any of the things they will do when they finally meet “the love of their life” in person. In a way I’m glad I never met my rat because being the type of person I am, I don’t think I would have felt comfortable doing half the things he wanted to do with me...especially in public. He also told me that “age is just a number”....but in “my” real world, I don’t think that is completely true. Would really love to hear your thoughts about large age difference in relationships (specifically with these rats). Wondering if anyone feels the same way.

 

[Butterflies]

The age gap between me and him was always a problem for me. Not for him as age is just a number ( his words) and it was not a problem for him since he loved me as I am The romantic texts they send are indeed an answer on what we tell them as we are not aware their intentions and they pick it up and mimic our words so we will think we found a soulmate. I am a small woman only 1.57 meters ( I don't know it in inches) and he was 1.80 m. I go to the gym and I am fit and always did sports (volleyball and gymnastics) He told me he liked that and I looked good for my age but I had doubts because I am old but not ignorant about my age. For me it felled always wrong but he pretended to be angry when I expressed my feelings for the age gap. He would tell me the same stories about walking on the beach or visiting other country's when we would be happy and he would take care of me. Thinking about it now I would not feel comfortable walking with such a young man on the street or giving loving kisses where everybody can see us. That is the difference when it was online as mine was to. It is easier to feel love and talk there then it would be in real life. And yes in tunisia are older women walking with these younger men on the street and they are unaware of these rats or just don't care why these rats are with them. Anyway I wished it never had happened as it caused stress in my life and when I think of it now I must have been moonstruckb or something as I can never imagine living with him

 

[Wiser]

Kissing in public is not allowed, public sex lol jail for sure... that’s fantasy. That is not ok in western world now figure out on Islamic countries..
age is just a number. That’s part of the fantasy, the time spent discovering and mirroring us is what makes them feel entitled to whatever they get from us. It’s their investment and their creativity.

 

[Scottish Lassie]

Kissing in public is not allowed, public sex lol jail for sure... that’s fantasy. That is not ok in western world now figure out on Islamic countries..
age is just a number. That’s part of the fantasy, the time spent discovering and mirroring us is what makes them feel entitled to whatever they’ve get from us. It’s their investment and their creativity.

Hahaha! Definitely a no-no in an Islamic country. My gosh, could you imagine getting caught having sex in public over there. I wonder if the death penalty would be imposed in any of those countries...or perhaps a certain part of the anatomy is just “removed”. Definitely there would be a jail term in the western world. I enjoy story and letter writing...and those he sent me were very flowery. He knew exactly what to say and his English was impeccable. I think his imagination was very wild along with those of all his “friends “” as they discuss their sinister plans in the coffee shop. It is scary to think how they learn so much about us and show us the person in themselves that we want to see. After my rat’s mask started to fall off and the real him was starting to be revealed, I was horrified by just how easily I fell for the lies. Given their “creativity” they could actually become successful in a legitimate way...if they put their minds to it...perhaps even obtaining a visa at some point. Instead they prefer to use their creativity on innocent women who are under their spell and have no idea what they are getting themselves into. They can brainwash us into believing anything and everything...but when it came to the age difference I guess I always knew we were never going to be Vivienne Leigh & Clark Gable in a scene from “Gone with the Wind.” I don’t think I was much of an investment for my rat...and that is probably a blessing in disguise.

 

[Storm]

Never was a fan of the term 'age is just a number' whether it was coming from a rat or human being. It's sort of like a phrase that's used to get what they want.
Dating younger men (non-rat) isn't new to me cause it's always been a preference of mine but at the same time I always felt worlds apart.
Life experiences are different no matter how much a rat or non-rat tries to convince us otherwise.
With a rat it just feels forced, false, rushed, all for the sake of creating an illusion to fit into your life to prove that age affects nothing. Scumbags

 

[Tigerpants]

Hi again everyone. Hope you are all well. For some months I have been grappling with the question above. This is mainly aimed at those who were, like me, engaged in an online relationship with a rat...but never ever met them in person. Mine sent me a FB friend request in 2013 but I only started noticing him liking my posts in 2014. We slowly started chatting through public comment replies but later started sending private messages to each other. As I’m sure you all know, the love-bombing doesn’t take long to start and the “golden period” was in full swing before too long. I’ve enjoyed writing poetry since I was a child so have quite a vivid imagination at time. During the “golden period” I felt like a princess and saw my rat as Prince Charming...the only man to ever fully understand me and be willing to hear me out...no matter how trivial my discussions were. He was patient, emphatic and understanding. Only after the devaluation period did I realise that he had only been mirroring me...enjoying the same sport, music, general interests and he loved me reading my poetry to him. This in turn inspired me to write several poems about him. I’m sure many of you had rats who would fill your heads with dreams of a romantic life together, being with each other 24/7 (which started sounding a bit like possessiveness after a year or so). Of course I was the person he thought of as soon as he opened his eyes in the morning and before he fell asleep at night. It was like something out of a romance book....all the compliments and loving gestures. Of course I slowly realised that he was pushing for us to meet and eventually get married (as soon as possible for his own safety). He also told me that he did not want to be forced to join the military services and that he would have to go if I didn’t speed up the process. No pressure of course. My mind would always wander back to the romance of it all...walking along a deserted beach hand in hand and kissing in the rain. So much in love. Even though I was so “in love” with him (or rather “addicted to him”) as time went on and he kept pressing for us to meet and marry (of course being very polite when doing so....after all he only wanted to finally have me in his arms so he could love me and look after me in person), I started thinking about the realities of us actually meeting. Our minds can play tricks on us (with the unmistakable help of the rat of course) and we conjure up romantic scenarios of how we will be when we are together in the real world. My rat and I have a 17 year age gap. I am in my late 40s and still consider myself quite attractive (or so others tell me) and look after my body (although do suffer with the common middle age problems such as backache etc.) I am quite short at just under 5ft 3inches) My rat was over 6ft 3inches. As romantic as the thoughts on my head were, I began to wonder just how comfortable I would feel walking arm in arm or holding hands with a man who could fit me under his armpit. Despite him always saying he would just go down on his knees and kiss me that way so that I would feel more comfortable (as if I’d have him do that out in public), I just couldn’t get used to the thought. Although I tried to not let it enter my mind I couldn’t help but think how uncomfortable I would feel walking around in public with someone who, besides making me look like a midget) was basically young enough to be my son. I know I’ve walked past the odd couple where there is an obvious large age gap...and wondered why they were together...especially when the male seems to look like an Arab or similar. I’m sure there are many couples with huge age gaps who are perfectly happy...but I’m sure many others (don’t want to appear sexist...but mainly the men) are scammers with ulterior motives...such as those mentioned on this site. I hate drawing attention and often say I would love to be able to walk in public and not have anyone see me. If I am walking around with a towering man who looks much younger than me...what would others be thinking? I know I shouldn’t care...but that really bothered me. My rat would tell me how he would just kiss me in the middle of the street or start dancing with me randomly in a shopping mall. He made it sound like something out of a romantic movie...but I just kept thinking to myself, “I don’t think so!” In dreamland it seems so good...but in reality.... He would also tell me how he would make love to me out in public as if that was something normal. I in turn was thinking of my back killing me and how I would never be able to show my face again in my city if anyone saw us. I think these rats watch far too much porn...and I also wonder how many of them actually do any of the things they will do when they finally meet “the love of their life” in person. In a way I’m glad I never met my rat because being the type of person I am, I don’t think I would have felt comfortable doing half the things he wanted to do with me...especially in public. He also told me that “age is just a number”....but in “my” real world, I don’t think that is completely true. Would really love to hear your thoughts about large age difference in relationships (specifically with these rats). Wondering if anyone feels the same way.☺☺☺

I think we loved the notion of a younger, handsome guy with an adorable slightly french accent wooing us, who wouldn't ? It's when the reality sets in which for me was being lovebombed on a whole new level, like all your Christmas's rolled into one. Then when we finally got alone time and sealed the deal , it was a huge monumental disappointment.
All of the suspected and anticipated fire and passion was essentially 2 pumps and a squirt, I told him when I got home that it was just not what I had expected.No dreamland there for me, just extreme frustration.
I'm not entirely sure if it's a- lack of experience ( of which I have plenty after long co habiting relationships) or b- not really into me as its bezness after all. I suspect a combo of both.
Then all the other things began to really p me off. Lazing around doing f all , drinking beer whilst lazing around doing f all when Im working my ass off. Asking can I show him the outside of my house etc...on FaceTime (assessing my wealth). We walked past a car the same as mine in Hammamet one evening before I knew about rats and said thats my car, he nearly choked, now I know why.
I do think they try to mirror us, its all part of the big plan. When we are away from them, they simply revert to tossing it off in coffee shops, and doing f all.
I never felt the age gap thing as an issue as I take good care of myself but knew he was a bit younger- walked around without a care in the world and would again tomorrow (obvs not with him).
I would never ever entertain a Tunisian male again period!

 

[Mouais]

Omg.. 2 pumps and a squirt

 

[Scottish Lassie]

The age gap between me and him was always a problem for me. Not for him as age is just a number ( his words) and it was not a problem for him since he loved me as I am The romantic texts they send are indeed an answer on what we tell them as we are not aware their intentions and they pick it up and mimic our words so we will think we found a soulmate. I am a small woman only 1.57 meters ( I don't know it in inches) and he was 1.80 m. I go to the gym and I am fit and always did sports (volleyball and gymnastics) He told me he liked that and I looked good for my age but I had doubts because I am old but not ignorant about my age. For me it felled always wrong but he pretended to be angry when I expressed my feelings for the age gap. He would tell me the same stories about walking on the beach or visiting other country's when we would be happy and he would take care of me. Thinking about it now I would not feel comfortable walking with such a young man on the street or giving loving kisses where everybody can see us. That is the difference when it was online as mine was to. It is easier to feel love and talk there then it would be in real life. And yes in tunisia are older women walking with these younger men on the street and they are unaware of these rats or just don't care why these rats are with them. Anyway I wished it never had happened as it caused stress in my life and when I think of it now I must have been moonstruckb or something as I can never imagine living with him

Thanks for sharing that @Butterflies. I’m glad it’s not just me then. In terms of height, I am 1.60m and my rat is 1.92m...so he was more than a ruler’s length taller than me....hence the “fitting under his armpit” bit. When I read article of these older, bigger women who are “swept off their feet” by (too) young, attractive Tunisian men (rats), in my mind I find it hard to believe that they don’t think these men have ulterior motives. I guess we all long to be loved and desired...so we blind ourselves to the fact that something is amiss. We’ve all been there and sadly our belief that people are all good in some way or other, leads us to think more with our hearts than our heads. Although my children came first and were the main reason why I never ended up marrying my rat...I can’t say with any certainty that I would have married him even if I had no children. Something bothered me about the age difference. Heaven only know what my family would have thought. I had my first boyfriend when I was 20 and he was 25. My family (apart from my mum) did not like him because they thought I was too innocent, the age gap was too big and he was probably a lot more “experienced” in the ways of the world. So you can imagine if I suddenly took home a man 17 years my junior. No doubt my family would have most likely told me that something wasn’t right and that he was probably only with me to use me in some way. Yes, chatting and make plans of living “happily ever after” is so much easier online. The real-life person is (I believe) not like the person we fell in love with online. We only get to see the nice side to them...and sometimes the real side when they become frustrated and want things to move faster. At least I won’t have to discover how it feels to be lovey-dovey with my “far too young for me” boyfriend or husband who wants to show a lot of public affection. I’d have to keep my COVID-19 face mask a permanent fixture on my face...at least until I was in my 70s (or until he leaves me to return to Tunisia to marry his “virgin cousin”.) Like you I could not imagine living with him now. Thank goodness for small blessings. xx

 

[Tigerpants]

Omg.. 2 pumps and a squirt

OK maybe 10

 

[Scottish Lassie]

Never was a fan of the term 'age is just a number' whether it was coming from a rat or human being. It's sort of like a phrase that's used to get what they want.
Dating younger men (non-rat) isn't new to me cause it's always been a preference of mine but at the same time I always felt worlds apart.
Life experiences are different no matter how much a rat or non-rat tries to convince us otherwise.
With a rat it just feels forced, false, rushed, all for the sake of creating an illusion to fit into your life to prove that age affects nothing. Scumbags

I couldn’t have said it better myself @Storm. It is also a term I don’t use...but my rat used to use it fairly often. He used to call me “young lady”...perhaps to make me feel younger or to make me more addicted to him. I could see myself with a younger man as I don’t act old despite being quite modest. I don’t prance around in short skirts/dresses with a plunging neckline. In the same breath I don’t act old and am quite carefree. I couldn’t see myself with someone more than 5 years my junior. I’ve never wanted to be seen as a cougar. I do think though that a 17 year age gap was going to be too much of one for me to feel truly comfortable. The idea of being romantic when out and about is always nice but had I ended up with my rat I think I would have made it clear that I didn’t want to show any over-the -top shows of affection in public. And if I felt it was forced or rushed that would only make me avoid going out with him in public. With these rats being so possessive I doubt I would have had any life outside of our relationship. Not sure I would have remained as close to my family and friends as I am (excluding my children of course) and that would have been heartbreaking. I second you on the “scumbag” labelling. That’s them in a nutshell. x

 

[Scottish Lassie]

I think we loved the notion of a younger, handsome guy with an adorable slightly french accent wooing us, who wouldn't ? It's when the reality sets in which for me was being lovebombed on a whole new level, like all your Christmas's rolled into one. Then when we finally got alone time and sealed the deal , it was a huge monumental disappointment.
All of the suspected and anticipated fire and passion was essentially 2 pumps and a squirt, I told him when I got home that it was just not what I had expected.No dreamland there for me, just extreme frustration.
I'm not entirely sure if it's a- lack of experience ( of which I have plenty after long co habiting relationships) or b- not really into me as its bezness after all. I suspect a combo of both.
Then all the other things began to really p me off. Lazing around doing f all , drinking beer whilst lazing around doing f all when Im working my ass off. Asking can I show him the outside of my house etc...on FaceTime (assessing my wealth). We walked past a car the same as mine in Hammamet one evening before I knew about rats and said thats my car, he nearly choked, now I know why.
I do think they try to mirror us, its all part of the big plan. When we are away from them, they simply revert to tossing it off in coffee shops, and doing f all.
I never felt the age gap thing as an issue as I take good care of myself but knew he was a bit younger- walked around without a care in the world and would again tomorrow (obvs not with him).
I would never ever entertain a Tunisian male again period!

Thanks for sharing your experience @Tigerpants. I think I would have ended up in the same boat as you if I had indeed married my rat. When we would have Skype or WhatsApp video calls he would always be wearing a white vest with sleeping shorts. I started wondering if he only owned one vest as it always looked the same...off colour. He only ever seemed to change his clothes when he went out...and then I would know for sure that he did indeed have other clothes. His mum would do everything for him and I wondered if I would have to do the same if we ever married. He wasn’t interested in working either and kept saying that he only wanted to be with me and would happily work as a waiter, clean dishes or work as a cleaner if it meant being able to be with me. I used to wonder how on Earth he thought we would survive on the meagre salary he would receive doing such work. Obviously the plan was to live off me and my salary...which definitely would mean no money would be sent to support his mum and violent dad. It was a messed up family and yet I looked past that. How blind I was. I don’t think his mother knew about me or, if she did, I think she was unaware of my age. We never had any contact but I did see photos of her. She always looked sullen in her photos...pretty much like my rat after his mask fell off and the real him was revealed. I now have more knowledge about love rats, their behaviour, their narcissistic traits and the lengths they will go to in order to get what they want. Once bitten twice shy. I’ll be staying far away from Tunisian (and probably other Arabs) from now on. Don’t ever want to go through that again!!! x

 

[JGG]

I think we loved the notion of a younger, handsome guy with an adorable slightly french accent wooing us, who wouldn't ? It's when the reality sets in which for me was being lovebombed on a whole new level, like all your Christmas's rolled into one. Then when we finally got alone time and sealed the deal , it was a huge monumental disappointment.
All of the suspected and anticipated fire and passion was essentially 2 pumps and a squirt, I told him when I got home that it was just not what I had expected.No dreamland there for me, just extreme frustration.
I'm not entirely sure if it's a- lack of experience ( of which I have plenty after long co habiting relationships) or b- not really into me as its bezness after all. I suspect a combo of both.
Then all the other things began to really p me off. Lazing around doing f all , drinking beer whilst lazing around doing f all when Im working my ass off. Asking can I show him the outside of my house etc...on FaceTime (assessing my wealth). We walked past a car the same as mine in Hammamet one evening before I knew about rats and said thats my car, he nearly choked, now I know why.
I do think they try to mirror us, its all part of the big plan. When we are away from them, they simply revert to tossing it off in coffee shops, and doing f all.
I never felt the age gap thing as an issue as I take good care of myself but knew he was a bit younger- walked around without a care in the world and would again tomorrow (obvs not with him).
I would never ever entertain a Tunisian male again period!

Awesome post!

 

[serena75]

ciao, sono nuovo e ti seguo da tempo da quando ho incontrato anche topi (marocchini, egiziani e tunisini e forse anche omaniti ..... non mi manca niente).
ora sto uscendo con un ragazzo tunisino di 18 anni più giovane di me (siamo entrambi in Italia). Forse è un topo, forse no ... certo non avrà niente da me ma lo userò solo per fare del buon sesso quando ne avrò voglia.
Semplice, ci usano e noi li usiamo. Per ora ha sempre pagato cene e uscite ... appena mi accorgo che chiederà qualcosa, chiudo con lui.

Google translate -
hello, I'm new and I've been following you for a long time since I also met mice (Moroccans, Egyptians and Tunisians and maybe even Omani ..... I don't miss anything). now i am dating a Tunisian guy 18 years younger than me (we are both in Italy). Maybe it's a rat, maybe not ... sure it won't get anything from me but I'll only use it to have good sex when I feel like it. Simple, they use us and we use them. For now he has always paid for dinners and going out ... as soon as I realize that he will ask for something, I close with him.

 

[Blueish]

What a lovely post, I really like the poetic side of it as I love poems as well and fairy stories bcz usually they have a happy ending..
However I'm also a realistic and I look at the world we live now, age difference MATTERS a lot, of course they don't care bcz at the end of the day they get what they want from you... visa, money, status etc.... but to be truthful they know that you will die before him anyway due to the advance age gap, so becareful before you get too involved with a younger rat.

 

[Tigerpants]

Thanks for sharing your experience @Tigerpants. I think I would have ended up in the same boat as you if I had indeed married my rat. When we would have Skype or WhatsApp video calls he would always be wearing a white vest with sleeping shorts. I started wondering if he only owned one vest as it always looked the same...off colour. He only ever seemed to change his clothes when he went out...and then I would know for sure that he did indeed have other clothes. His mum would do everything for him and I wondered if I would have to do the same if we ever married. He wasn’t interested in working either and kept saying that he only wanted to be with me and would happily work as a waiter, clean dishes or work as a cleaner if it meant being able to be with me. I used to wonder how on Earth he thought we would survive on the meagre salary he would receive doing such work. Obviously the plan was to live off me and my salary...which definitely would mean no money would be sent to support his mum and violent dad. It was a messed up family and yet I looked past that. How blind I was. I don’t think his mother knew about me or, if she did, I think she was unaware of my age. We never had any contact but I did see photos of her. She always looked sullen in her photos...pretty much like my rat after his mask fell off and the real him was revealed. I now have more knowledge about love rats, their behaviour, their narcissistic traits and the lengths they will go to in order to get what they want. Once bitten twice shy. I’ll be staying far away from Tunisian (and probably other Arabs) from now on. Don’t ever want to go through that again!!! x

I think the rat mum knew about you as they are all in on it together you know with one big fat goal...to make their lazy good for nothing sons richer and therefore a better catch on the village cousin bride open market. I'm the same as you over the Arab male thing. Im definitely staying off that train x

 

[Tigerpants]

Awesome post!

Thank you @JGG I hope it resonates

 

[Myriam1]

I am married to my 20 years younger husband for 12 years, so being together for 14 years now. Is age is just a number?... it used to be ok for me untill I became 60... it is not a huge problem yet, but sometimes I want to slow down in my life, but my husband still is like a spring chicken most of the time. So we recently had a good conversation about that and we agreed to do both some water in our wine to be at the same energy level. My husband works a lot and even helps out a lot at home now, so all is still ok.
I most of the time like to have a younger husband, he is always in for some action and leading a very active life.
Let's see what the future brings.
I have to mention that my husband never said "age is just a number" and that he would never ever dream of holding hands in public...anywhere in the world.

 

[Going for the limit]

Myriam I'm curious why wouldn't he want to hold your hand in public? Is it because of tradition etc ?

 

[Tigerpants]

I am married to my 20 years younger husband for 12 years, so being together for 14 years now. Is age is just a number?... it used to be ok for me untill I became 60... it is not a huge problem yet, but sometimes I want to slow down in my life, but my husband still is like a spring chicken most of the time. So we recently had a good conversation about that and we agreed to do both some water in our wine to be at the same energy level. My husband works a lot and even helps out a lot at home now, so all is still ok.
I most of the time like to have a younger husband, he is always in for some action and leading a very active life.
Let's see what the future brings.
I have to mention that my husband never said "age is just a number" and that he would never ever dream of holding hands in public...anywhere in the world.

Yes @Myriam1 but your husband sounds like a man as opposed to a rat x

 

[Scottish Lassie]

ciao, sono nuovo e ti seguo da tempo da quando ho incontrato anche topi (marocchini, egiziani e tunisini e forse anche omaniti ..... non mi manca niente).
ora sto uscendo con un ragazzo tunisino di 18 anni più giovane di me (siamo entrambi in Italia). Forse è un topo, forse no ... certo non avrà niente da me ma lo userò solo per fare del buon sesso quando ne avrò voglia.
Semplice, ci usano e noi li usiamo. Per ora ha sempre pagato cene e uscite ... appena mi accorgo che chiederà qualcosa, chiudo con lui.

Hi @serena75. Thanks for your comment. Please can I ask you to translate this into English as I can’t understand anything and I don’t know what language this is. Many thanks.

 

[MH007]

ciao, sono nuovo e ti seguo da tempo da quando ho incontrato anche topi (marocchini, egiziani e tunisini e forse anche omaniti ..... non mi manca niente).
ora sto uscendo con un ragazzo tunisino di 18 anni più giovane di me (siamo entrambi in Italia). Forse è un topo, forse no ... certo non avrà niente da me ma lo userò solo per fare del buon sesso quando ne avrò voglia.
Semplice, ci usano e noi li usiamo. Per ora ha sempre pagato cene e uscite ... appena mi accorgo che chiederà qualcosa, chiudo con lui.

Google translate


hello, I'm new and I've been following you for a long time since I also met mice (Moroccans, Egyptians and Tunisians and maybe even Omani ..... I don't miss anything). now i am dating a Tunisian guy 18 years younger than me (we are both in Italy). Maybe it's a mouse, maybe not ... sure it won't get anything from me but I'll only use it to have good sex when I feel like it. Simple, they use us and we use them. For now he has always paid for dinners and outings ... as soon as I realize he will ask for something, I close with lu

MH x

 

[Wiser]

Google translate


hello, I'm new and I've been following you for a long time since I also met mice (Moroccans, Egyptians and Tunisians and maybe even Omani ..... I don't miss anything). now i am dating a Tunisian guy 18 years younger than me (we are both in Italy). Maybe it's a mouse, maybe not ... sure it won't get anything from me but I'll only use it to have good sex when I feel like it. Simple, they use us and we use them. For now he has always paid for dinners and outings ... as soon as I realize he will ask for something, I close with lu

MH x

That’s not bezness.

 

[Blueish]

Serena75, nothing in this life is for free but if your guy is paying for everything then sex (as you said) must be good!!! Enjoy while you can because he will move on to new pastures once he has enough of you, sex only can't hold a relationship together, there are many factors involved

 

[Going for the limit]

Sounds like both are using each other for something
Its not bezness

 

[Croydon girl]

Serena75, nothing in this life is for free but if your guy is paying for everything then sex (as you said) must be good!!! Enjoy while you can because he will move on to new pastures once he has enough of you, sex only can't hold a relationship together, there are many factors involved

Very true, how old are you Serena?

 

[Gamora]

Hi again everyone. Hope you are all well. For some months I have been grappling with the question above. This is mainly aimed at those who were, like me, engaged in an online relationship with a rat...but never ever met them in person. Mine sent me a FB friend request in 2013 but I only started noticing him liking my posts in 2014. We slowly started chatting through public comment replies but later started sending private messages to each other. As I’m sure you all know, the love-bombing doesn’t take long to start and the “golden period” was in full swing before too long. I’ve enjoyed writing poetry since I was a child so have quite a vivid imagination at time. During the “golden period” I felt like a princess and saw my rat as Prince Charming...the only man to ever fully understand me and be willing to hear me out...no matter how trivial my discussions were. He was patient, emphatic and understanding. Only after the devaluation period did I realise that he had only been mirroring me...enjoying the same sport, music, general interests and he loved me reading my poetry to him. This in turn inspired me to write several poems about him. I’m sure many of you had rats who would fill your heads with dreams of a romantic life together, being with each other 24/7 (which started sounding a bit like possessiveness after a year or so). Of course I was the person he thought of as soon as he opened his eyes in the morning and before he fell asleep at night. It was like something out of a romance book....all the compliments and loving gestures. Of course I slowly realised that he was pushing for us to meet and eventually get married (as soon as possible for his own safety). He also told me that he did not want to be forced to join the military services and that he would have to go if I didn’t speed up the process. No pressure of course. My mind would always wander back to the romance of it all...walking along a deserted beach hand in hand and kissing in the rain. So much in love. Even though I was so “in love” with him (or rather “addicted to him”) as time went on and he kept pressing for us to meet and marry (of course being very polite when doing so....after all he only wanted to finally have me in his arms so he could love me and look after me in person), I started thinking about the realities of us actually meeting. Our minds can play tricks on us (with the unmistakable help of the rat of course) and we conjure up romantic scenarios of how we will be when we are together in the real world. My rat and I have a 17 year age gap. I am in my late 40s and still consider myself quite attractive (or so others tell me) and look after my body (although do suffer with the common middle age problems such as backache etc.) I am quite short at just under 5ft 3inches) My rat was over 6ft 3inches. As romantic as the thoughts on my head were, I began to wonder just how comfortable I would feel walking arm in arm or holding hands with a man who could fit me under his armpit. Despite him always saying he would just go down on his knees and kiss me that way so that I would feel more comfortable (as if I’d have him do that out in public), I just couldn’t get used to the thought. Although I tried to not let it enter my mind I couldn’t help but think how uncomfortable I would feel walking around in public with someone who, besides making me look like a midget) was basically young enough to be my son. I know I’ve walked past the odd couple where there is an obvious large age gap...and wondered why they were together...especially when the male seems to look like an Arab or similar. I’m sure there are many couples with huge age gaps who are perfectly happy...but I’m sure many others (don’t want to appear sexist...but mainly the men) are scammers with ulterior motives...such as those mentioned on this site. I hate drawing attention and often say I would love to be able to walk in public and not have anyone see me. If I am walking around with a towering man who looks much younger than me...what would others be thinking? I know I shouldn’t care...but that really bothered me. My rat would tell me how he would just kiss me in the middle of the street or start dancing with me randomly in a shopping mall. He made it sound like something out of a romantic movie...but I just kept thinking to myself, “I don’t think so!” In dreamland it seems so good...but in reality.... He would also tell me how he would make love to me out in public as if that was something normal. I in turn was thinking of my back killing me and how I would never be able to show my face again in my city if anyone saw us. I think these rats watch far too much porn...and I also wonder how many of them actually do any of the things they will do when they finally meet “the love of their life” in person. In a way I’m glad I never met my rat because being the type of person I am, I don’t think I would have felt comfortable doing half the things he wanted to do with me...especially in public. He also told me that “age is just a number”....but in “my” real world, I don’t think that is completely true. Would really love to hear your thoughts about large age difference in relationships (specifically with these rats). Wondering if anyone feels the same way.☺☺☺

I am only a few years older than my rat, we are both in our 30s, so the age was never an issue for us. However, I did notice he mirrored my life a lot. He said it was me motivating him, I found it creepy. He would always have these wonderful love stories of us on the beach in Sidi Bou Said and how he would sweep me off my feet. He watched too much of the Note Book if you ask me. haha. But I knew it was all a facade because his words did not match his lifestyle. After work, he was lazy, all he wanted to do was eat and sleep. His lifestyle didn't meet mine so I knew that fairytale was a lie. I travel a lot, love to be outdoors, always in the gym, swim every chance that I get. He would actually get jealous of my lifestyle and everything I owned. He was mirroring my life and jealous at the same time.

I did not feel any way about my age, but I didnt want to be out in public with my rat either.

 

[Myriam1]

@Going for the limit : my husband is from a very traditional family in the most traditional part of Tunisia. He is very relax and cool at home, but doesn't like to show his feelings outside as for him it is a lack of respect.

 

[Going for the limit]

@Going for the limit : my husband is from a very traditional family in the most traditional part of Tunisia. He is very relax and cool at home, but doesn't like to show his feelings outside as for him it is a lack of respect.

I thought it must be something like that

 

[Gamora]

Sounds like both are using each other for something
Its not bezness

Yes I agree. This isn't a bezness deal, they are both using one another.

Hope that she has the will power to let go when its time. Feelings can easily be involved and it would be hard to let go. Being friends is fine, but I would not chance it.

 

[tutusandfrogs]

I disagree that they're using each other. ‍ They're both enjoying each others company how they see fit. Many people casually date in this way.