Discussion in 'Rat on a Rat' started by Galleta, Feb 6, 2019.
Why don’t you ask him what he means?
Could take it two ways. He values your friendship or he values what you potentially might bring him.
He could have just said he was sad to hear it.
Don’t expect though to get any clear definitive answer though. They hedge their bets and always try to keep a door open.
I’m guessing you said it to him to gage his reaction to you ending your friendship?
Thanks for your response.
Yes I was gaging his reaction as well as seriously thinking about it after having looked at people’s comments and experiences of Tunisians in general.
According to him he meant my friendship/support has high value and he’s going through some stress which means he doesn’t want me to leave him.
But now I’m paranoid and not trusting a word of what he says and wonder if the word “ value “ here has been added as some kind of sick joke to himself ... or genuine. Don’t know what to think any more
Why did you word it as you "May be leaving him"? Seems a strange choice of words
I dare say if you actually carried it out, or said it as though you mean it....the L word might just appear
I thought the same about his choice of words....he didn't just say you were important to him, he would miss you, blah blah....but he said "Value".
Having already asked you for money, I would be suspicious.
They all say they are stressed, that's token rat
Have you asked him why he is stressed? Afterall....surely he should be confiding in you.
He is probably stressed because he is so confused about his feelings and doesn't know what to do
Are you ever likely to meet this man in the flesh?
I’m sorry you are feeling confused. At some point all of us went through it too. Indeed it’s the reason you came here, you were feeling something was odd. Try to see this peculiar situation as objectively as you can, evaluate it. Is it worth it? Do you really feel valued by him? we Try to warn you about love Rats, hoping you escape a major pain or abuse. Where do you think this relationship is heading to?
First of all, you never have to apologize for ever having to come here about your concerns.
Secondly, if you are looking for clarification from him, I'm afraid that you won't get it or any truths.
I do know that it is so disheartening not knowing what to think all the time. You can be sure that now that you mentioned leaving, he will have to pull out the big guns. He won't be going down without a fight. The "L" word will be his ace in the hole.
As far as him being stressed...i'll bet he is.
Wish I could tell you something positive from all of this but that isn't an option from the minute he asked you for money.
I am sure you will figure this whole thing out.
Exactly! It’s not against you or your happiness it’s about your safety. Xx
Thanks for advice everyone ... today I start the withdrawal process
That sounds like Theresa May!
Haha actually forgot to mention I’m actually her but didn’t want to admit it
Every day you will get stronger Galleta....He is using typical RAT strategies ..stress you are his life..it is all same crap they all use....Ignore him you will see what transpires ...
Look after YOU xx
I see it this way. If the speaker says “I love you because I need you” is a gaping hole in the soul of the speaker. It sounds as a confession: '
I try to control you because I cannot survive without you. It’s for these reasons that I am a stalker, territorial, jealous, possessive and scared..and
I am afraid to tell you the truth."
This is the epitome of the needy lover; it’s universally undesirable.
What would be nice to hear :
"What happened that you do not reciprocate my feeling? I just know that I love you. I want you to be happy..and I will do whatever it takes to make you happy, EVEN IF THAT HAPPINESS DOES NOT INCLUDE ME.
You are free to leave, free to stay Just know that I will be there, forever. I wish to spend my life with you—because I love you..and pretty much that’s why I need you."
It is about you, not me.
I wish you the very best as you go through the withdrawal process from your rat. They brainwash you, control you, manipulate you, everything. I’m so happy that you never met him in person! It’s even harder to break up with them once you’ve lived together. That’s when they control you 24/7! You lose your own identity being mixed up with these freaks! They are cruel, unlike any Western guys. They lie easier than telling the truth. They hide their crap on their cellphones. They have several fake profiles and try to keep their various victims from learning about each other. They are too lazy to work. When you have redflags and question them, you never get a straight or full answer. They love to say you are “stressing” them! They try not to answer so you can’t point blank catch them in a lie. The lies they come up with are actually quite creative and hilarious if they did not cause you so much pain! My rat said he was going to Tunis to wire a 6 story building which would not have wifi. I would not be hearing from him for 2 and 1/2 weeks. I bought that story. I was actually proud and bragged of his wonderful success in front of him to my friends. He never said a word. The truth is another victim flew to Tunisia to meet him......only 1 and 1/2 months before I was going there and already had my plane tickets bought which he knew of! There was no 6 story building in Tunis! They have zero loyalty to anybody! They only love themselves and their Mothers but they let dear old Mum wait on them hand and foot! They are scum. They use and abuse good people and feel zero remorse and they have no consciences! I’m glad you saw the light before getting in even deeper with him. They are like a drug. Withdrawal is hard. When we were not living together, due to 90 days tourist visas, we Skyped about 6 hours a day. I suddenly had all of this free time and too much time to think. That was rough. His lies kept flooding back into my head. Stay busy, go out with friends, buy a case of Mr. Smirnoff, do whatever you need to do, for you, to get over this creep which has controlled your life. I wish I had known of this group much much earlier. Keep reading on here. That will make you stronger and you will realize you are not alone! Sadly, there are thousands of victims of Tunisians! Best wishes! We are all here for you!
Thanks for the encouragement- I’m aware it won’t be easy to get away from him emotionally as I’m so attached to him and keep hoping he’s different but some of the comments people make here seem familiar. If I question too much he says he’s stressed and it makes me feel really guilty . Even though we talk for ages I feel there’s always a big gap missing somewhere and can’t put my finger on what it is . He says the same about me , that he feel I hide something even though I tell him everything.
It’s weird and strange and never thought I’d be in this position- but am trying my hardest to not give in this time especially as I’m sure he’s talking to other women all the time which drives me crazy . Silly thing is I have no right to be jealous ( unlike other women here) as he hasn’t promised me any romance or marriage so really it’s my fault ! Just got to work though this and get to other side in one piece
JUDITHLYN!! That's shocking advice!!
I'm so proud of you
Mine said that all the time!! He was the one with secrets and lies....but he turned the tables to make me into the guilty party....yet I am a completely open and honest book!
I might have even put the screenshots on here somewhere, as I don't have that phone anymore....but he accused me of having secrets and hiding stuff.
Told me I was to stop thinking and stop asking questions.
Sometimes, he'd catch me in deep thought (I twiddle my hair when distracted)....and force me to tell him what I was thinking
Sometimes, I was just thinking I didn't like the colour of the bedding or similar.....so he'd tell me I was a liar and throw an epic paddy
Girl.....if you keep him around, then trust me....he's building up to it. He'll suddenly declare undying love and tell you that's why he was stressed and moody
They're all the freakin same!
Page 1; Post #21.....the screenshots.
I had tons of messages like it, but I lost them when I got a new phone.
In the flesh and via message, just constant accusations.
Accusations about behaviours he was guilty of, not me
Ah that old cliche “don’t think too much my love”.
“You make my head tired, my love”
What philosophers they are!
I prefer Russian over Tunisian!
I'm teetotal.....but I too would prefer the Russian option over another Tunisian
Yes ,sorry,but yes ,and yes a hundred times over
I'm sure you said somewhere that he's very hard working and his family is well off....
So why did he ever need to ask you for money?
It's fairly obvious what your 'value' is