Is there anybody on here that has any good stories/ things to say about the men??

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simple

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Absolutely disgusting that they think this way !!!

What is the teaching about this in the quoran, simple??

Surely it should not be regarded in this way?
There is no teaching of this in the Quoran ! They fast for a month ,in respect to those less fortunate and your supposed to give money to the poor ,during Eid !Yet any other time they look down on them ,,,,Im talking about the hypercrites ,not the good muslims !
 

CUDDLE

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Thanks for your answer simple...

I was curious thats all .....so a good muslim lady would have no problem with a husband who has a disability?
 

Chez125

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There are many success stories out there and many members that are married to Tunisians including myself. We all have our own stories and opinions but just to put this site into perspective it is purely about the non-successful relationships between Tunisians and other nationalities. I like to think of it as the Tunisian Jeremy Kyle site!! So don't be disheartened by the stories on here. Most of them represent truthful accounts of horrific scams on generally innocent women and some just show the breakdown of a relationship as you would find everyday all over the world - but ultimately this site is about the FAILURE of relationships and the reasons behind this. If you want success stories there are other sites/pages that you will probably find what you are looking for.
 

crystal

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There are many success stories out there and many members that are married to Tunisians including myself. We all have our own stories and opinions but just to put this site into perspective it is purely about the non-successful relationships between Tunisians and other nationalities. I like to think of it as the Tunisian Jeremy Kyle site!! So don't be disheartened by the stories on here. Most of them represent truthful accounts of horrific scams on generally innocent women and some just show the breakdown of a relationship as you would find everyday all over the world - but ultimately this site is about the FAILURE of relationships and the reasons behind this. If you want success stories there are other sites/pages that you will probably find what you are looking for.
I'm glad you know about the other sites.. obviously this one is not for you either..... Jeremy Kyle that is insulting... and yes she should be disheartened...as there is only 1% successful marriages... 99% are scammed... as you say there is a site for everyone..this one certainly does not have rose-tinted sunglasses...
 

Chez125

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1% successful marriages 99% failure!!!!

Please advise where these statistics can be found as I tend to deal with facts not supposition!!

As I have said already this site is not for those looking for ways to make a successful go of their relationship but gives very clear messages and warning signs to those that may be involved in one that is doomed to fail generally because the victim is unaware of the true character of their so called love one!!

Rose tinted glasses - hmmmmm - pointless argument so not going there!!
 

Ariel

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You raise valid points Chez125, but I also find your comparison to the Jeremy Kyle show very insulting - is this how you view the women on here? :confused:
 

wallah

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1% successful marriages 99% failure!!!!

Please advise where these statistics can be found as I tend to deal with facts not supposition!!

As I have said already this site is not for those looking for ways to make a successful go of their relationship but gives very clear messages and warning signs to those that may be involved in one that is doomed to fail generally because the victim is unaware of the true character of their so called love one!!

Rose tinted glasses - hmmmmm - pointless argument so not going there!!
I certainly read that the official figure was 0.03% successful marriages between Tunisians and non Tunisians - this was 2 years ago. This was on a Tunisian website that I received vis news link. Will try to find the link and post it.
 

simple

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There are many success stories out there and many members that are married to Tunisians including myself. We all have our own stories and opinions but just to put this site into perspective it is purely about the non-successful relationships between Tunisians and other nationalities. I like to think of it as the Tunisian Jeremy Kyle site!! So don't be disheartened by the stories on here. Most of them represent truthful accounts of horrific scams on generally innocent women and some just show the breakdown of a relationship as you would find everyday all over the world - but ultimately this site is about the FAILURE of relationships and the reasons behind this. If you want success stories there are other sites/pages that you will probably find what you are looking for.
It actually is 3 out of 100 of marriages ,that last longer than 5 years ,if the wife is non Tunisian.Dont take my word for it ,,,google it !!General breakdown of a relationship is found the world over ,,agreed .This isnt based on sour grapes ,its statistics .There are many other factors as to why a relationship breaks down ,i understand that ,,,,But the majority break down because many are rats and purposley look for women to victimise !I think trying to find 3 out of a hundred is like trying to find a needle in a haystack !I hope many do become disheartened with these statistics ,as it is a clear indication that there are more failours than successes!Jeremy Kyle ,A.K.A Jamal Kaliffa ! Would tell them to get up off their backside and find a job and stop sponging off other people!
 

MissMetal

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Is Jeremy Kyle the equivalent of Jerry Srpinger?

Personally, there are some similarities in culture and experiences mentioned here that I have experienced with my Tunisian, but it is up to me to evaluate if its due to the culture or if he's a rat. I have been on here a long time, and never got the sense that my tunisian was a rat, hence why I still married him. I have always felt that if our marriage ends it will be due to general relationship break down. BUT I could be wrong one day. I always say, you never know and it can happen with any relationship. My first marriage was to a rat of the same culture.

My point is, though, the information is there for you and you need to be able to make the decision logically! The chances of a successful marriage are slim, so do what you can to protect yourself as well if you do choose to enter into the marriage.
 

Ariel

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Is Jeremy Kyle the equivalent of Jerry Srpinger?

Personally, there are some similarities in culture and experiences mentioned here that I have experienced with my Tunisian, but it is up to me to evaluate if its due to the culture or if he's a rat. I have been on here a long time, and never got the sense that my tunisian was a rat, hence why I still married him. I have always felt that if our marriage ends it will be due to general relationship break down. BUT I could be wrong one day. I always say, you never know and it can happen with any relationship. My first marriage was to a rat of the same culture.

My point is, though, the information is there for you and you need to be able to make the decision logically! The chances of a successful marriage are slim, so do what you can to protect yourself as well if you do choose to enter into the marriage.
Yes it is - which is why it is insulting. The post by Chez had 'them and us' undertones i.e. it can only happen to women like you. I think you are much more balanced, realistic, candid and certainly less judgemental in your views Miss Metal. Those people who are in enduring relationship with Tunisian men, I find, are always very honest about the challenges and the differences while those who profess that all is rosy in their garden are usually trying to convince themselves of that more than they are others ;)
 

Chez125

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Ladies - let me answer a few of your more balanced points. If you look at my history here you will see I very rarely post anything as it always becomes a personal attack on those that do not agree wholeheartedly with what is being said!

I am married to a Tunisian - yes for less than one year - so I am well aware of just what level of depravity some of the men can go to too achieve what they want. I do not wear rose tinted spectacles and am fully aware of the situation I entered into. My reasons for doing this shall remain private as I do not wish some of the more extreme members on here to start a 'vendetta' against me as I have seen happen a number of times before.

Like some others on here married to Tunisians it is not the easiest of marriages to enter into for a number of reasons and the biggest is the huge cultural divide between us. It is a battle sometimes to get them to understand exactly where we are coming from and yes sometimes I give in and other times I am like a dog with a bone until I get him to see reason. I'm sure we will have many more mountains to climb but hey ho what marriage doesn't.

One of the main reasons I keep coming back to this site is that there is often extremely good advice for ladies that do fall in love with Tunisian men regardless of what the men's ulterior motives are. It gives all sides of the story and allows the reader to be armed with information that she generally would not have to enable her to make a much more informed decision about where that relationship should go.

The personal attacks need to stop as its puts someone like me completely off making any form of constructive comment. OK I will agree the 'Jeremy Kyle' comment probably wasn't thought through adequately on my behalf and I didn't intend it to be disrespectful. I meant it as a place to get information that you cant get anywhere else rather than the 'us and them' syndrome comment! But ultimately my aim is to help and advise where I can. Regardless I have experience in this area and surely if something I post helps just one person then this is the aim of this site!!

I also have a few acquaintance's who are unfortunately in the 'grips' of one of these men so have first hand knowledge of some of the tactics used by them and often come here for words of wisdom for these ladies. As you all know it is like walking a tightrope with someone in one of these relationships emotionally.

They often come to me for advice because I am married to a Tunisian man so have first hand knowledge of the cultural issues etc.

A little more personal information that may assist some of you in accepting my decisions. I currently don't work and haven't done for the last 4 months. My husband financially supports me and our household. He pays all the bills. I don't own my own home, have no money in the bank or anywhere else for that matter!
 

Galadriel

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Yes it is - which is why it is insulting. The post by Chez had 'them and us' undertones i.e. it can only happen to women like you. I think you are much more balanced, realistic, candid and certainly less judgemental in your views Miss Metal. Those people who are in enduring relationship with Tunisian men, I find, are always very honest about the challenges and the differences while those who profess that all is rosy in their garden are usually trying to convince themselves of that more than they are others ;)
Well said and I too believe Miss Metal to have her finger on the pulse of the situation and is not reactionary to others situations either but comments from a well thought out viewpoint....
 

the nutty professor

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If someone comes on to a website called tunisianloverats, clue in the title, and seeks relationship advice, then of course there must be alarm bells and naturally the stories will be disheartening.

im not really sure what point chez is making, perhaps an attempt at self endorsement.

anyway, as one of those rare happily married to a tune person im baffled as to where this thread is going but can only echo missmetal in that its hard work and takes a lot of effort on both sides. The stories i could tell if i had the time!

Am away for a lie down!
 

once-more

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Hey girls:)) I wasn't here for a long time. Its to painful and horrible, always reading the same storys.... Next week we go to Tunisia, my hubby, the kids and me and we go back to the hotel, where everything started.... So I am wondering, how many of the new animateurs I will see scammering and playing with the womens. I heard already some stories now and there will at least one women stay, which is 30 years older than her hubby and they will marry next week. :-((
Well never mind, I am still one of the lucky one... The needle in the haystack - who knows, maybe I have found one....
 

Alien

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I certainly read that the official figure was 0.03% successful marriages between Tunisians and non Tunisians - this was 2 years ago. This was on a Tunisian website that I received vis news link. Will try to find the link and post it.

Ooohhh! :-( :-( :-( It's not good to hear this. I thought minimum the 50% of Tunisiens are honest, and decent. I thought the miscellaneous marriages could also work if the patries respect eachother.
 

BrownGirl

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Ooohhh! :-( :-( :-( It's not good to hear this. I thought minimum the 50% of Tunisiens are honest, and decent. I thought the miscellaneous marriages could also work if the patries respect eachother.

I don't think you can say that because 0.03% of marriages between Tunisians and non Tunisians are successful it means only 0.03% of Tunisians are honest and decent. Out of a population of 10 million, it is only a small percentage who come in close enough contact with non Tunisians to have a relationship and marry. The point that we make time and time again is that the guy you meet in a hotel, tourist resort, internet chat room is unlikely to be good husband material (especially if you are old enough to be his mother/grandmother :eek:). On top of that there are cultural differences that are often ignored, so even marriages where there is mutual respect can fail because of this.
 

Alien

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I don't think you can say that because 0.03% of marriages between Tunisians and non Tunisians are successful it means only 0.03% of Tunisians are honest and decent. Out of a population of 10 million, it is only a small percentage who come in close enough contact with non Tunisians to have a relationship and marry. The point that we make time and time again is that the guy you meet in a hotel, tourist resort, internet chat room is unlikely to be good husband material (especially if you are old enough to be his mother/grandmother :eek:). On top of that there are cultural differences that are often ignored, so even marriages where there is mutual respect can fail because of this.

I know, I just thought, that much more than 0.03% of Tunisians are honest and decent. I know that the cultural differences and the differences in religions are wide, but I thougth if two people love and respect eachother, with many compromises, that's true, but these differences could be exceeded, overcomed.
Of course I don't think that long term marriage could work between a Tunisian and a non Tunisian if the guy is young and the women is 30 - 40 years older than him. But it's also questionable between 2 Europeans. But between two people with similar age, I really thought that with many compromise and with hard work, despite the cultural differences, it could be true and honest love. Me and my friend really beleived in that. :-(
 

simple

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Its very rare for a Tunisian man to marry a Tunisian woman who is older than him ,its not done ..Also a high percentage of marriages are arranged ,so love is not in the equation .Even if its a "love marriage" the male members on the girls side must approve ...There is no eloping or running away to marry ,or any sort of refuge for "lovers".Love is not an option ,when families chose a bride for their son .In Europe its all about love and understanding and compromise .Two different ideas and values .
 

Alien

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Its very rare for a Tunisian man to marry a Tunisian woman who is older than him ,its not done ..Also a high percentage of marriages are arranged ,so love is not in the equation .Even if its a "love marriage" the male members on the girls side must approve ...There is no eloping or running away to marry ,or any sort of refuge for "lovers".Love is not an option ,when families chose a bride for their son .In Europe its all about love and understanding and compromise .Two different ideas and values .

I have heard about you write, arranged marriages, chosen bride by families...etc. But do they according to this? Everybody???? No exception?

As far as I have seen there, from time to time they become more "modern", like Europeans. Hijabs are also not so strict as long time ago, women wear jeans, and nice turtleneck sweater, or nice tunic, not a plentiful ankle - length coat as before. Of course they wear kerchief too, but not every women. I have seen more Tunisian women there with their husband and child who didn't wear hijab and kerchief.
And the travel guide of us also told us that these rules are not so strict recently in Tunisia as before.

I thought/we thought with my friend, it may concerns also for love and marriage too. I mean we thought, that not everybody keep that families chose a bride for their son.
And what about a middle aged men, like my friend's rat, who is almost 30, why doesn't he still married? He is already not so young! Why his family haven't chosen bride for him yet?
Ok, I know, he has nothing, and for marriage he ought to have some properties. But he hasn't, and if he don't find another European wictim, who will beleive in him and give him very much money, he will never have anything to get married with the bride chosen by his family. (By the way he told to my friend, - of course - that he would never marry a Tunisian woman)

On the other hand, there's no chance that a Tunisian man doesn't follow this rule (the arranged marriage), and would like to be married for love? It's impossible there? :-(
 

simple

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Its was regarded as the most westernised country in North Africa .But its not so welcoming to the west now .Women can work,there are more women in goverment there ,than anywhere else in N Africa ,,,But all women follow the traditions and customs ,there are no exceptions.Any woman who rebels and shows independance is regarded as no good .When a Tunisian man ,wants to marry a Tunisian girl ,he must have status ,money ,properties , or a good job,He must prove he can maintain her ,or her family wont agree ,,Love is not a good enough reason .He must also pay for the engagement and the wedding ,he must provide for everything and a lot of the time they will live with his family ,i know brothers who have married and they all live in the same house with their parents.
 

Alien

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Its was regarded as the most westernised country in North Africa .But its not so welcoming to the west now .Women can work,there are more women in goverment there ,than anywhere else in N Africa ,,,But all women follow the traditions and customs ,there are no exceptions.Any woman who rebels and shows independance is regarded as no good .When a Tunisian man ,wants to marry a Tunisian girl ,he must have status ,money ,properties , or a good job,He must prove he can maintain her ,or her family wont agree ,,Love is not a good enough reason .He must also pay for the engagement and the wedding ,he must provide for everything and a lot of the time they will live with his family ,i know brothers who have married and they all live in the same house with their parents.

But if the man never have status, good job, properties, he will not be able to get married ever?

And if he fall in love with a same aged young Europan girl, he will also keep the tradition instead of love? Will he give up his love for tradition? Everybody? No exception? Will every Tunisian men chose to marry with a Tunisian women who was chosen by his family instead of his feelings about a same aged european girl? Instead of love? Is it impossible that he gives up the tradition and chose the love with the European girl? Or Tunisian men never feel real, true love for anyone? They have no feelings like love at all??? Never?

Sorry, I will never understand, how anybody can chose an arranged marriage instead of love. It does not make sence to live with somebody and with her children without love. :-(
 
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