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Let’s have a laugh for a change, everyone!!!

Derbygirl

Inactive
I found myself chuckling about this last night, so thought I would share it with you all, to have a laugh for a change!!!

I had a conversation not so long ago with my Tunisian Love, as I thought he was............It went like this.............I challenged him over various Tunisian women flirting with him on his FB Page, and subsequently, he talked about being allowed to have 4 wives under Islamic Law..........So then he asked me if I would give my permission to have Sonia, Khaoula and Fatma as wives, as well as myself............We could make a little village, he said!!! After some thought, I said, ‘OK, I give you my permission, but I am the Queen!!! Oh yes, he said, ‘You are the Queen, and they are just ‘insects’!!! ‘ Which kind of insects, I’m not sure, but he would always refer to Tunisian women as ‘insects’!!! I went on to say: ‘But I don’t want to see them...........And when the Queen needs attention, she must have it!!! To this he agreed, adding (all in French, if course), ‘One doesn’t want to eat macaroni every day, after all!!!’........I later reflected that it would depend on the quality of the macaroni, but still!!! Here comes the clincher!!! He then started to talk about his long-awaited new car that he expected me to pay for!!! I informed him that he now had four wives and that he should ask them!!! But he insisted that he had to ask the Queen!!! Should have told him to buzz off!!! That’s all folks!!! Hope you enjoyed it!!! Aim to please!!! Any other stories??!!
 

JGG

Major Ratslayer
I found myself chuckling about this last night, so thought I would share it with you all, to have a laugh for a change!!!

I had a conversation not so long ago with my Tunisian Love, as I thought he was............It went like this.............I challenged him over various Tunisian women flirting with him on his FB Page, and subsequently, he talked about being allowed to have 4 wives under Islamic Law..........So then he asked me if I would give my permission to have Sonia, Khaoula and Fatma as wives, as well as myself............We could make a little village, he said!!! After some thought, I said, ‘OK, I give you my permission, but I am the Queen!!! Oh yes, he said, ‘You are the Queen, and they are just ‘insects’!!! ‘ Which kind of insects, I’m not sure, but he would always refer to Tunisian women as ‘insects’!!! I went on to say: ‘But I don’t want to see them...........And when the Queen needs attention, she must have it!!! To this he agreed, adding (all in French, if course), ‘One doesn’t want to eat macaroni every day, after all!!!’........I later reflected that it would depend on the quality of the macaroni, but still!!! Here comes the clincher!!! He then started to talk about his long-awaited new car that he expected me to pay for!!! I informed him that he now had four wives and that he should ask them!!! But he insisted that he had to ask the Queen!!! Should have told him to buzz off!!! That’s all folks!!! Hope you enjoyed it!!! Aim to please!!! Any other stories??!!
Do you feel a bit better today?
 

simple

Major Ratslayer
I found myself chuckling about this last night, so thought I would share it with you all, to have a laugh for a change!!!

I had a conversation not so long ago with my Tunisian Love, as I thought he was............It went like this.............I challenged him over various Tunisian women flirting with him on his FB Page, and subsequently, he talked about being allowed to have 4 wives under Islamic Law..........So then he asked me if I would give my permission to have Sonia, Khaoula and Fatma as wives, as well as myself............We could make a little village, he said!!! After some thought, I said, ‘OK, I give you my permission, but I am the Queen!!! Oh yes, he said, ‘You are the Queen, and they are just ‘insects’!!! ‘ Which kind of insects, I’m not sure, but he would always refer to Tunisian women as ‘insects’!!! I went on to say: ‘But I don’t want to see them...........And when the Queen needs attention, she must have it!!! To this he agreed, adding (all in French, if course), ‘One doesn’t want to eat macaroni every day, after all!!!’........I later reflected that it would depend on the quality of the macaroni, but still!!! Here comes the clincher!!! He then started to talk about his long-awaited new car that he expected me to pay for!!! I informed him that he now had four wives and that he should ask them!!! But he insisted that he had to ask the Queen!!! Should have told him to buzz off!!! That’s all folks!!! Hope you enjoyed it!!! Aim to please!!! Any other stories??!!
Keep laughing @Derbygirl ..It really does take the pain away .A psychiatrist once told me to write letters to my rat and his family,expressing my pain and hurt ,,then to burn them ..I did that and i feel so much better .But what i want to know is what do i do with the letters??
 

Derbygirl

Inactive
Do you feel a bit better today?
A bit better, thanks JGG..............To be honest, when things get that bad, you want to laugh because it gives you a hold on life.............I could linger on how he always used to abuse me verbally, saying ‘Fuk you’ (without the ‘c’ annoyingly), ‘fuk your life’, ‘fuk your money’, ‘fuk your mother ‘now dead for 42 years as he well knows), ‘I hate your face’, ‘You haven’t got a brain’, ‘When I see you, I will slap you’ (and worse), ‘What have you done with your life’, ‘You will live and die alone’...........But I try not to, JGG.............He had £10,000 out of me, that disgusting, twisted, Bastard................
 
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JGG

Major Ratslayer
A bit better, thanks JGG..............To be honest, when things get that bad, you want to laugh because it gives you a hold on life.............I could linger on how he always used to abuse me verbally, saying ‘Fuk you’ (without the ‘c’ annoyingly), ‘fuk your life’, ‘fuk your money’, ‘fuk your mother ‘now dead for 42 years as he well knows), ‘I hate your face’, ‘You haven’t got a brain’, ‘When I see you, I will slap you’ (and worse), ‘What have you done with your life’, ‘You will live and die alone’...........But I try not to, JGG............
You know Derbygirl....one way to cope when all of these memories come flooding in and punch a hole in your chest.....is to take a breath and remember that none of it is real....he used lies to build you up...and then when he didn't get what he wanted....he used lies to tear you down. When I had those days that nothing made sense....I would become very still and remember that I gave that man the best part of me as a woman and it empowered me to move forward and rise above the dirty life he chose to live. What you sacrificed for him was and is real....and this is why relationships like this knock us to our knees. Even though the truth is very painful....Im proud of all of us here to live in that truth and to realize that we gave it our all and we are here helping each other to become strong and move forward in life ♡
 

Amira

Major Ratslayer
A bit better, thanks JGG..............To be honest, when things get that bad, you want to laugh because it gives you a hold on life.............I could linger on how he always used to abuse me verbally, saying ‘Fuk you’ (without the ‘c’ annoyingly), ‘fuk your life’, ‘fuk your money’, ‘fuk your mother ‘now dead for 42 years as he well knows), ‘I hate your face’, ‘You haven’t got a brain’, ‘When I see you, I will slap you’ (and worse), ‘What have you done with your life’, ‘You will live and die alone’...........But I try not to, JGG.............He had £10,000 out of me, that disgusting, twisted, Bastard................
Awesome that you realize the facts about him. They show their true face in the end but you are not left with the loss it is he. You won
 

Lass

Major Ratslayer
I know a rat that persistently use to copy "love" messages from other boys fb as his English wasn't that great and on Valentines Day he posted a message on his "girlfriend" fb wall with the other boy nickname still on it LOL
 

Derbygirl

Inactive
I know a rat that persistently use to copy "love" messages from other boys fb as his English wasn't that great and on Valentines Day he posted a message on his "girlfriend" fb wall with the other boy nickname still on it LOL

I just remembered another one!! Luckily I never did that, but at one point in the early days, he said ‘Show me your bobs!!’.........I probably looked non-plussed, and he said’You’re English, aren’t you?? Show me your bobs!!.........’Oh, boobs, you mean’, I said!!! ‘No!!!’..........
 
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simple

Major Ratslayer
Roses are red ,rats are brown ,when they go swimming ,i wish they would drown,,,The grass is green ,violets are blue,my shirt stinks and rats do too..You may think in racist and a bit of a knob,but you have no tourists ,so out of a job...
They aint the sharpest tool in the shed ,thats for sure,,,
 

Lass

Major Ratslayer
One informed me that he had an absolute genius plan for a business. He heard that he can sell his testicle for 120 000 TND. So the business plan was to remove one of his balls, sell it, use the money to open whatever prosperous business, make a shitload of money and wait for that...buy himself a new testicle. There was one worry on his mind though...that his new ball sack wouldn't exactly match the skin colour of his own ball sack. And that ladies is a very true story.
Needless to say I was rather speechless and didn't venture into explaining that he wouldn't need to worry about the colour of his new ball sack.
 

Derbygirl

Inactive
One informed me that he had an absolute genius plan for a business. He heard that he can sell his testicle for 120 000 TND. So the business plan was to remove one of his balls, sell it, use the money to open whatever prosperous business, make a shitload of money and wait for that...buy himself a new testicle. There was one worry on his mind though...that his new ball sack wouldn't exactly match the skin colour of his own ball sack. And that ladies is a very true story.
Needless to say I was rather speechless and didn't venture into explaining that he wouldn't need to worry about the colour of his new ball sack.

Never heard such bollocks in my life, Lass, my Girl!!! In any case, why not do a ‘2 for 1’ and be done with them altogether??!!
 
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Butterflies

Major Ratslayer
Lass, for Tunisians it's OK even to go around without balls, as most of them Believe that semen is produced in...the knees!
Mine asked me to have children and he was well aware of my age??? I told him I was to old and that it was to late for me to have children. I had to explain it to him that women my age can't have children no more? Are they that thick on it or lack of education as they seem to think semen come from the knees??
 
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MH007

Administrator
Staff member
Mine asked me to have children and he was well aware of my age??? I told him I was to old and that it was to late for me to have children. I had to explain it to him that women my age can't have children no more? Are they that thick on it or lack of education as they seem to think semen come from the knees??
LOL oh the knees cracks me up, seriously :p

They also think that if they shower after sex it will wash all STD's away WTF.....

MH x
 

MH007

Administrator
Staff member
I know a rat that persistently use to copy "love" messages from other boys fb as his English wasn't that great and on Valentines Day he posted a message on his "girlfriend" fb wall with the other boy nickname still on it LOL
LOL they are so pathetic that they copy other rats love texts and paste to their 'habibi's'

MH x
 

Poppy

Major Ratslayer
Mine asked me to have children and he was well aware of my age??? I told him I was to old and that it was to late for me to have children. I had to explain it to him that women my age can't have children no more? Are they that thick on it or lack of education as they seem to think semen come from the knees??
All Muslims think that semen comes from knees. It's written in the Quran.
 

Butterflies

Major Ratslayer
They are expert in the art of copy-pasting lol
It was boring ass hell these long epistles he got from the internet I am not a so romantic person but he thought he was doing me a favor. These texts made no sense at all to me they where translated and half of the time I couldn't understand what he was trying to say to me. Probebly undying love to his mama oohh well I had the same age as her so...hahaaa
 
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simple

Major Ratslayer
It was boring ass hell these long epistles he got from the internet I am not a so romantic person but he thought he was doing me a favor. These texts made no sense at all to me they where translated and half of the time I couldn't understand what he was trying to say to me. Probebly undying love to his mama oohh well I had the same age as her so...
Im not romatic really either ,,Instead of flowers and chocoaltes and poetry of undying love ,,id much rather have a pizza...
 

Butterflies

Major Ratslayer
Im not romatic really either ,,Instead of flowers and chocoaltes and poetry of undying love ,,id much rather have a pizza...
Cake and chocolat now there i would not say no to but a good hamburger and a piza.. yuum. Flowers I like them as I have them in my garden but I have 3 cats and after a few hours I only have the stalks of the flowers because they eat them and play with it
 

Poppy

Major Ratslayer
It was boring ass hell these long epistles he got from the internet I am not a so romantic person but he thought he was doing me a favor. These texts made no sense at all to me they where translated and half of the time I couldn't understand what he was trying to say to me. Probebly undying love to his mama oohh well I had the same age as her so...hahaaa
You should have told him "What is this Shite that you just sent me? I can't understand anything." Lool
 
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