Long time online friend to lovers?

[Florencia]

Hello ladies,

For a while I’ve been reading the threads on this forum, and I would now like to get your opinion on my situation. It is a long story.
I am French, so my English grammar is not perfect.

A long time ago I met a guy online (can’t even remember where) and he happened to be Tunisian. Smart and speaks English (and French, of course) perfectly. Very kind and been friends for a long time, but never met in real life. He told me about his then-girlfriend and shared his pain with me when she broke up with him. He never talked bad about her or other Tunisian women. We continued to be friends. Now, 4 years after that breakup, he said he has developed feelings for me and to be honest so do I. Now of course we would like to meet when the whole pandemic issue has gotten better.
I said I don’t want to visit him in Tunisia and he was fine with it. He can not come to Schengen-Europe because of visa ristrictions, but is in the process to permanently come to France through his family. I’ve seen that application signed and stamped by the authorities.
He said he really wants to meet me and doesn’t matter where. I could say where. I told him I want to meet in Serbia (he can go there). He agreed and we will stay in different hotels, he never mentioned staying together.

In my opinion the former sounds quite ok. But what worries me is this: he is I think what the people here would refer to as “love bombing” me (never ghosts me). He also talks about intimacy.
He tells me that if we also have this chemistry in in real life and meet more often, he is in for it to lead to marriage, but not now or in a short time. He did ask me how a man should propose to a woman here and how he should behave with her family for a meeting with them.
Should we meet, he will tell his mother that he is going to meet me. He said he is serious about me

He never once asked me about money or my possessions or my job. I did ask him all that. He kindly responded. He has a great degree and a good job and never complains.
Our age difference is 1 year, him being older. We are 29 and 28. He never once ghosted me and is very consistent. His background checks out (his work and name and all) and does not have multiple social media accounts in any variation of his name. He does have 3 women from Western countries in his friend list, of 1 I can see she actually studied in Tunisia. They liked 1 picture of him. No flirty comments from Tunisian ladies either.

I hope I wrote it clearly.. I guess that are all the details. Am I in the amiga stage or do you think he might be for real?
Thank you so much for your time. Stay safe

 

[Sabrina]

Hello ladies,

For a while I’ve been reading the threads on this forum, and I would now like to get your opinion on my situation. It is a long story.
I am French, so my English grammar is not perfect.

A long time ago I met a guy online (can’t even remember where) and he happened to be Tunisian. Smart and speaks English (and French, of course) perfectly. Very kind and been friends for a long time, but never met in real life. He told me about his then-girlfriend and shared his pain with me when she broke up with him. He never talked bad about her or other Tunisian women. We continued to be friends. Now, 4 years after that breakup, he said he has developed feelings for me and to be honest so do I. Now of course we would like to meet when the whole pandemic issue has gotten better.
I said I don’t want to visit him in Tunisia and he was fine with it. He can not come to Schengen-Europe because of visa ristrictions, but is in the process to permanently come to France through his family. I’ve seen that application signed and stamped by the authorities.
He said he really wants to meet me and doesn’t matter where. I could say where. I told him I want to meet in Serbia (he can go there). He agreed and we will stay in different hotels, he never mentioned staying together.

In my opinion the former sounds quite ok. But what worries me is this: he is I think what the people here would refer to as “love bombing” me (never ghosts me). He also talks about intimacy.
He tells me that if we also have this chemistry in in real life and meet more often, he is in for it to lead to marriage, but not now or in a short time. He did ask me how a man should propose to a woman here and how he should behave with her family for a meeting with them.
Should we meet, he will tell his mother that he is going to meet me. He said he is serious about me

He never once asked me about money or my possessions or my job. I did ask him all that. He kindly responded. He has a great degree and a good job and never complains.
Our age difference is 1 year, him being older. We are 29 and 28. He never once ghosted me and is very consistent. His background checks out (his work and name and all) and does not have multiple social media accounts in any variation of his name. He does have 3 women from Western countries in his friend list, of 1 I can see she actually studied in Tunisia. They liked 1 picture of him. No flirty comments from Tunisian ladies either.

I hope I wrote it clearly.. I guess that are all the details. Am I in the amiga stage or do you think he might be for real?
Thank you so much for your time. Stay safe

Hi and welcome, the love bombing starts with the rats in the first month. With mine he asked for money then too. RAT it sounds to me that you were there when he needed someone to talk to and your friendship grew. I know that rats can be very patient and can really take their time with the women the age sounds legit but there but there are ladies on here that can fill you in on a good Muslim man. Me, I don’t know any

 

[Butterflies]

Hello ladies,

For a while I’ve been reading the threads on this forum, and I would now like to get your opinion on my situation. It is a long story.
I am French, so my English grammar is not perfect.

A long time ago I met a guy online (can’t even remember where) and he happened to be Tunisian. Smart and speaks English (and French, of course) perfectly. Very kind and been friends for a long time, but never met in real life. He told me about his then-girlfriend and shared his pain with me when she broke up with him. He never talked bad about her or other Tunisian women. We continued to be friends. Now, 4 years after that breakup, he said he has developed feelings for me and to be honest so do I. Now of course we would like to meet when the whole pandemic issue has gotten better.
I said I don’t want to visit him in Tunisia and he was fine with it. He can not come to Schengen-Europe because of visa ristrictions, but is in the process to permanently come to France through his family. I’ve seen that application signed and stamped by the authorities.
He said he really wants to meet me and doesn’t matter where. I could say where. I told him I want to meet in Serbia (he can go there). He agreed and we will stay in different hotels, he never mentioned staying together.

In my opinion the former sounds quite ok. But what worries me is this: he is I think what the people here would refer to as “love bombing” me (never ghosts me). He also talks about intimacy.
He tells me that if we also have this chemistry in in real life and meet more often, he is in for it to lead to marriage, but not now or in a short time. He did ask me how a man should propose to a woman here and how he should behave with her family for a meeting with them.
Should we meet, he will tell his mother that he is going to meet me. He said he is serious about me

He never once asked me about money or my possessions or my job. I did ask him all that. He kindly responded. He has a great degree and a good job and never complains.
Our age difference is 1 year, him being older. We are 29 and 28. He never once ghosted me and is very consistent. His background checks out (his work and name and all) and does not have multiple social media accounts in any variation of his name. He does have 3 women from Western countries in his friend list, of 1 I can see she actually studied in Tunisia. They liked 1 picture of him. No flirty comments from Tunisian ladies either.

I hope I wrote it clearly.. I guess that are all the details. Am I in the amiga stage or do you think he might be for real?
Thank you so much for your time. Stay safe

Hi Florencia welcome to the forum. So you knew eachother online for a couple of years and talked about his former girlfriend. Was she tunisian or a foreign woman? The love bombing he does is a rat thing but he can be in love so.... He can't come to europ with the shengen thing but he can go to France? The same thing in my opinion as he will need a visa anyway to get there. Does he have permanent stay in France then or just a visitor visa? You can be blocked at his other social media so you will not find him. My rat had several Facebook accounts under various names and not in any way it sounded as his real name. Yes he could be genuine but you need to investigate more and be careful who you trust and his family or friends will not tell you the truth when they are involved with rattery

 

[MarinaHi]

Hello ladies,

For a while I’ve been reading the threads on this forum, and I would now like to get your opinion on my situation. It is a long story.
I am French, so my English grammar is not perfect.

A long time ago I met a guy online (can’t even remember where) and he happened to be Tunisian. Smart and speaks English (and French, of course) perfectly. Very kind and been friends for a long time, but never met in real life. He told me about his then-girlfriend and shared his pain with me when she broke up with him. He never talked bad about her or other Tunisian women. We continued to be friends. Now, 4 years after that breakup, he said he has developed feelings for me and to be honest so do I. Now of course we would like to meet when the whole pandemic issue has gotten better.
I said I don’t want to visit him in Tunisia and he was fine with it. He can not come to Schengen-Europe because of visa ristrictions, but is in the process to permanently come to France through his family. I’ve seen that application signed and stamped by the authorities.
He said he really wants to meet me and doesn’t matter where. I could say where. I told him I want to meet in Serbia (he can go there). He agreed and we will stay in different hotels, he never mentioned staying together.

In my opinion the former sounds quite ok. But what worries me is this: he is I think what the people here would refer to as “love bombing” me (never ghosts me). He also talks about intimacy.
Он говорит мне, что если у нас также есть эта химия в реальной жизни и мы встречаемся чаще, он должен привести к браку, но не сейчас или в ближайшее время. Он действительно спросил меня, как мужчина должен делать предложение женщине здесь и как он должен вести себя с ее семьей во время встречи с ними.
Если мы встретимся, он скажет матери, что собирается встретиться со мной. Он сказал, что серьезно относится ко мне

Он ни разу не спросил меня о деньгах, моем имуществе или моей работе. Я его об этом спросил. Он любезно ответил. У него отличная степень и хорошая работа, и он никогда не жалуется.
У нас разница в возрасте 1 год, он старше. Нам 29 и 28 лет. Он ни разу не бросил мне вызов и очень последователен. Его биография проверена (его работа, имя и все такое), и у него нет нескольких учетных записей в социальных сетях ни в одном варианте его имени. В его списке друзей 3 женщины из западных стран, из 1, как я вижу, она действительно училась в Тунисе. Им понравилась 1 его фотография. Никаких кокетливых комментариев от тунисских дам тоже.

Надеюсь, я написал это четко .. Думаю, это все детали. Я на стадии амига или ты думаешь, что он может быть на самом деле?
Большое вам спасибо за ваше время. Оставайся в безопасности

Hello ladies,

For a while I’ve been reading the threads on this forum, and I would now like to get your opinion on my situation. It is a long story.
I am French, so my English grammar is not perfect.

A long time ago I met a guy online (can’t even remember where) and he happened to be Tunisian. Smart and speaks English (and French, of course) perfectly. Very kind and been friends for a long time, but never met in real life. He told me about his then-girlfriend and shared his pain with me when she broke up with him. He never talked bad about her or other Tunisian women. We continued to be friends. Now, 4 years after that breakup, he said he has developed feelings for me and to be honest so do I. Now of course we would like to meet when the whole pandemic issue has gotten better.
I said I don’t want to visit him in Tunisia and he was fine with it. He can not come to Schengen-Europe because of visa ristrictions, but is in the process to permanently come to France through his family. I’ve seen that application signed and stamped by the authorities.
He said he really wants to meet me and doesn’t matter where. I could say where. I told him I want to meet in Serbia (he can go there). He agreed and we will stay in different hotels, he never mentioned staying together.

In my opinion the former sounds quite ok. But what worries me is this: he is I think what the people here would refer to as “love bombing” me (never ghosts me). He also talks about intimacy.
He tells me that if we also have this chemistry in in real life and meet more often, he is in for it to lead to marriage, but not now or in a short time. He did ask me how a man should propose to a woman here and how he should behave with her family for a meeting with them.
Should we meet, he will tell his mother that he is going to meet me. He said he is serious about me

He never once asked me about money or my possessions or my job. I did ask him all that. He kindly responded. He has a great degree and a good job and never complains.
Our age difference is 1 year, him being older. We are 29 and 28. He never once ghosted me and is very consistent. His background checks out (his work and name and all) and does not have multiple social media accounts in any variation of his name. He does have 3 women from Western countries in his friend list, of 1 I can see she actually studied in Tunisia. They liked 1 picture of him. No flirty comments from Tunisian ladies either.

I hope I wrote it clearly.. I guess that are all the details. Am I in the amiga stage or do you think he might be for real?
Thank you so much for your time. Stay safe

Did you write him from other account(Facebook)? Maybe will try it?

 

[Florencia]

Hi Florencia welcome to the forum. So you knew eachother online for a couple of years and talked about his former girlfriend. Was she tunisian or a foreign woman? The love bombing he does is a rat thing but he can be in love so.... He can't come to europ with the shengen thing but he can go to France? The same thing in my opinion as he will need a visa anyway to get there. Does he have permanent stay in France then or just a visitor visa? You can be blocked at his other social media so you will not find him. My rat had several Facebook accounts under various names and not in any way it sounded as his real name. Yes he could be genuine but you need to investigate more and be careful who you trust and his family or friends will not tell you the truth when they are involved with rattery

Hi, thank you so much for your response. His application is not approved for France yet so he can’t come here. Serbia is possible for Tunisians so that is why I proposed that country. When his application is accepted, he will have permanent stay in France. Hence, he would not need me for a visa.

about the accounts and blocking... very good point, didn’t know that. Thanks a lot

 

[Florencia]

Hi, thank you so much for your response. His application is not approved for France yet so he can’t come here. Serbia is possible for Tunisians so that is why I proposed that country. When his application is accepted, he will have permanent stay in France. Hence, he would not need me for a visa.

about the accounts and blocking... very good point, didn’t know that. Thanks a lot

That girl was Tunisian

 

[Butterflies]

That girl was Tunisian

I re-read your first post and I have some doubts now. He has a degree and a good job? His girlfriend broke up with him? So... Why does he wants to go and live in France? And what was the reason the girl broke up with him because as far as I know tunisian girls and their mothers would jump on a tunisian man who earns good money and has a decent job

 

[Sabrina]

Hi, thank you so much for your response. His application is not approved for France yet so he can’t come here. Serbia is possible for Tunisians so that is why I proposed that country. When his application is accepted, he will have permanent stay in France. Hence, he would not need me for a visa.

about the accounts and blocking... very good point, didn’t know that. Thanks a lot

Yeah Serbia rings a bell mine wanted me to sell my home in America and move there since he didn’t need visa of course I would be paying for everything with the funds from my house??? Nah and by the way what the heck is a Serbia?

 

[Florencia]

Yeah Serbia rings a bell mine wanted me to sell my home in America and move there since he didn’t need visa of course I would be paying for everything with the funds from my house??? Nah and by the way what the heck is a Serbia?

Serbia is a country in Europe, we agreed to visit there because he can travel there and I don’t want to come to Tunisia to meet him. Thanks for your reply

 

[Butterflies]

Yeah Serbia rings a bell mine wanted me to sell my home in America and move there since he didn’t need visa of course I would be paying for everything with the funds from my house??? Nah and by the way what the heck is a Serbia?

Serbia is a country in Europe Sabrina it used to be Yougoslavia but after the Civil War it was devided into 6 or 7 different countries

 

[Florencia]

I re-read your first post and I have some doubts now. He has a degree and a good job? His girlfriend broke up with him? So... Why does he wants to go and live in France? And what was the reason the girl broke up with him because as far as I know tunisian girls and their mothers would jump on a tunisian man who earns good money and has a decent job

Thank you for your answer. Well... as far as I know it is decent and he makes ok money, like just moderate but enough. If he actually wants to live in France, please excuse me, my mistake. He is in the process of the visa but has not actually said he wants to move there. Maybe he just wants the option. His former girlfriend broke up with him because she was in love with another man, I believe

 

[Sabrina]

Serbia is a country in Europe, we agreed to visit there because he can travel there and I don’t want to come to Tunisia to meet him. Thanks for your reply

Yes I saw Serbia It to seemed cold just sayin I sure would not want to leave USA for there in effect losing everything. Good luck to you

 

[Sabrina]

T

Serbia is a country in Europe Sabrina it used to be Yougoslavia but after the Civil War it was devided into 6 or 7 different countries

Thanks butterflies I did see it when we were talking about it! That is at least one place they can go without worrying about a visa

 

[Jane]

Hello ladies,

For a while I’ve been reading the threads on this forum, and I would now like to get your opinion on my situation. It is a long story.
I am French, so my English grammar is not perfect.

A long time ago I met a guy online (can’t even remember where) and he happened to be Tunisian. Smart and speaks English (and French, of course) perfectly. Very kind and been friends for a long time, but never met in real life. He told me about his then-girlfriend and shared his pain with me when she broke up with him. He never talked bad about her or other Tunisian women. We continued to be friends. Now, 4 years after that breakup, he said he has developed feelings for me and to be honest so do I. Now of course we would like to meet when the whole pandemic issue has gotten better.
I said I don’t want to visit him in Tunisia and he was fine with it. He can not come to Schengen-Europe because of visa ristrictions, but is in the process to permanently come to France through his family. I’ve seen that application signed and stamped by the authorities.
He said he really wants to meet me and doesn’t matter where. I could say where. I told him I want to meet in Serbia (he can go there). He agreed and we will stay in different hotels, he never mentioned staying together.

In my opinion the former sounds quite ok. But what worries me is this: he is I think what the people here would refer to as “love bombing” me (never ghosts me). He also talks about intimacy.
He tells me that if we also have this chemistry in in real life and meet more often, he is in for it to lead to marriage, but not now or in a short time. He did ask me how a man should propose to a woman here and how he should behave with her family for a meeting with them.
Should we meet, he will tell his mother that he is going to meet me. He said he is serious about me

He never once asked me about money or my possessions or my job. I did ask him all that. He kindly responded. He has a great degree and a good job and never complains.
Our age difference is 1 year, him being older. We are 29 and 28. He never once ghosted me and is very consistent. His background checks out (his work and name and all) and does not have multiple social media accounts in any variation of his name. He does have 3 women from Western countries in his friend list, of 1 I can see she actually studied in Tunisia. They liked 1 picture of him. No flirty comments from Tunisian ladies either.

I hope I wrote it clearly.. I guess that are all the details. Am I in the amiga stage or do you think he might be for real?
Thank you so much for your time. Stay safe

I have sent you a private message - hope I can help

 

[Butterflies]

Thank you for your answer. Well... as far as I know it is decent and he makes ok money, like just moderate but enough. If he actually wants to live in France, please excuse me, my mistake. He is in the process of the visa but has not actually said he wants to move there. Maybe he just wants the option. His former girlfriend broke up with him because she was in love with another man, I believe

If he is in the procès for the visa and gets it he will be living in Europe as most of them wants to live there due to better jobs and certainly if he has a degree and will earn more money there. As far as I know love doesn't have a big influence in marriage in tunisia as most of the marriages are arranged between the families as it is in their tradition they marry cousins. About other social media you can ask a friend to search for other acounts from your tunisian?

 

[Florencia]

Yes I saw Serbia It to seemed cold just sayin I sure would not want to leave USA for there in effect losing everything. Good luck to you

Sorry what do you mean by losing everything?

 

[Sabrina]

Sorry what do you mean by losing everything?

I paid for everything anyway with us but he wanted me to sell my home here! I can only imagine how long it would’ve taken him to go thru it all then what would I have? Him????? Lol

 

[Florencia]

I paid for everything anyway with us but he wanted me to sell my home here! I can only imagine how long it would’ve taken him to go thru it all then what would I have? Him????? Lol

Oh girl, I feel so sorry for you.. that must have hurt. I hope you find healing in this process Stay strong & I’m glad you did not sell your home at least

 

[Florencia]

If he is in the procès for the visa and gets it he will be living in Europe as most of them wants to live there due to better jobs and certainly if he has a degree and will earn more money there. As far as I know love doesn't have a big influence in marriage in tunisia as most of the marriages are arranged between the families as it is in their tradition they marry cousins. About other social media you can ask a friend to search for other acounts from your tunisian?

Yes I will do that.... good idea, thank you

 

[Sabrina]

Oh girl, I feel so sorry for you.. that must have hurt. I hope you find healing in this process Stay strong & I’m glad you did not sell your home at least

I’m very good thank you we were together 3 yrs but really 2 the third was on and off but there are some women that have lost a lot more then me!! I lost enough and more then I wanted to on him, but compared I think I’m one of the fortunate ones from sure , you have to understand these were rats that we are talking about. And little did he know I had no plans of selling anything for him

 

[Sabrina]

Oh girl, I feel so sorry for you.. that must have hurt. I hope you find healing in this process Stay strong & I’m glad you did not sell your home at least

What made you come here I mean we are glad to have you here but are there doubts about your guy or just reading up on Tunisian loverats.. I know I didn’t join a forum but I did Google tlr about the second week after we started talking but didn’t stop me from getting involved with him, maybe if I had come here maybe it would have worked out differently

 

[Florencia]

What made you come here I mean we are glad to have you here but are there doubts about your guy or just reading up on Tunisian loverats.. I know I didn’t join a forum but I did Google tlr about the second week after we started talking but didn’t stop me from getting involved with him, maybe if I had come here maybe it would have worked out differently

Yes I’ve got little doubts.. that’s why I posted my story here. However, it feels good but rationally there are some little things that I wonder about. But the ladies here are luckily very helpful and wonderful

 

[MarinaHi]

I paid for everything anyway with us but he wanted me to sell my home here! I can only imagine how long it would’ve taken him to go thru it all then what would I have? Him????? Lol

He's rat 100%. Don't believe him!!!

 

[Mica]

Hi and welcome, the love bombing starts with the rats in the first month. With mine he asked for money then too. RAT it sounds to me that you were there when he needed someone to talk to and your friendship grew. I know that rats can be very patient and can really take their time with the women the age sounds legit but there but there are ladies on here that can fill you in on a good Muslim man. Me, I don’t know any

It doesn't always start quickly, I knew my rat for almost a year before the love bombing started. In that time he asked for nothing, he was just a kind friend who helped and translated for me when I was in tunisia.
There is another story I read here, I think the member was Crystal but I'm not sure. She knew her rat for 7 years as a work coleague before their relationship started.
In both cases there were no signs of bezness, even in the early stages of romance, but both turned out to be bezness - lying, thieving con men who bled us dry and never cared.

 

[Butterflies]

It doesn't always start quickly, I knew my rat for almost a year before the love bombing started. In that time he asked for nothing, he was just a kind friend who helped and translated for me when I was in tunisia.
There is another story I read here, I think the member was Crystal but I'm not sure. She knew her rat for 7 years as a work coleague before their relationship started.
In both cases there were no signs of bezness, even in the early stages of romance, but both turned out to be bezness - lying, thieving con men who bled us dry and never cared.

Rats come in all sizes and shapes. Even when you know about bezness you can be tricked into believing them. Reading here for over a year and have read many stories it amazes me how much women are used and abused and it seems to me over the years their tricks don't change much they just adapt when a woman starts asking questions. They act calm and collected and answer your questions so it looks like they are genuine and you are left having doubts.

 

[Tigerpants]

Yeah Serbia rings a bell mine wanted me to sell my home in America and move there since he didn’t need visa of course I would be paying for everything with the funds from my house??? Nah and by the way what the heck is a Serbia?

SORRY !!

 

[confuseddotcom]

Yes they do occasionally take their time, remember they always have someone on the backburner so it’s a tiered process lol.

Florencia, it’s really hard to say what his intentions are, but any kind of online relationship or even friendship is a gamble, so there is really no concrete way of knowing at this stage. I will say that with men you have to let their actions do the talking, and that it also depends on what you yourself are looking to come from this. A lot of the time we forget to ask ourselves what we ultimately want, and in practical terms whether we could be with someone from a different culture. Is he flexible? Is his family tolerant? These are all things you will need to eventually find out.

The red flags that I did see are not rat related.... the fact that (correct me if I’m wrong) he was talking to you while still in a relationship, and that he’s convinced you both have chemistry. There is no way to have chemistry before meeting in person, anyone can be whoever they wanna be online but in person it’s a lot harder. But, you are doing the right thing in laying down your boundaries. If you do take things further then I’d advise you to continue doing so. He will respect you a lot more for it.

 

[Pennylane]

If he gets a visa for France he can go anywhere in Europe inside the shengen visa area, as long as he flies into France first. Wait for him to get that, then arrange to meet if you still want too .

 

[MH007]

@Florencia

It is good that you are here asking questions as forewarned is forearmed and members here will give you truthful advise be it good or bad.

Can I ask how you met online?

MH x

 

[Sabrina]

It doesn't always start quickly, I knew my rat for almost a year before the love bombing started. In that time he asked for nothing, he was just a kind friend who helped and translated for me when I was in tunisia.
There is another story I read here, I think the member was Crystal but I'm not sure. She knew her rat for 7 years as a work coleague before their relationship started.
In both cases there were no signs of bezness, even in the early stages of romance, but both turned out to be bezness - lying, thieving con men who bled us dry and never cared.

See I knew they could be very patient!!!! I was told this by my lady that does my taxes she’s married but must’ve heard or known something I didn’t. ????