Looking for answers

[Heidi]

Morning everyone, just a quick update. Still no concrete evidence on whether Jimmy is truly a rat, although everything points to that conclusion. My husband has spoken to his ex wife and she is insisting that he is genuine and that there is no need for concern. My husband has now withdrawn his permission for the children to travel. They both have parental rights and she needs his permission to be legally allowed to take them. Obviously she could go down a legal route, but this wouldn't be in time for them to travel this half term. Both my husband and I feel that it is all just too much of a gamble to take with the emotional well being of the children. They are potentially being introduced to someone with less than sincere motives, whether they would see it now or not, who knows, but we cannot give the meeting our blessing with so many questions of our own about this man. As I've said before, my husband (and I for that matter) are not bothered if she wants to chase a fantasy relationship, it is literally all about protecting the children.

I have no doubt that we have a very long road ahead of us! But we will continue to do our best to put the children's welfare first. Hopefully, one day, it will resolve itself, either with the proof of Jimmy's dishonesty or he will finally get his long awaited visa and the children can meet him in a more conventional environment rather than being flown to another country x

Do you know why the rat got divorced from his ex wife?

 

[Truthseeker]

Do you know why the rat got divorced from his ex wife?

Ah sorry, a misunderstanding with how I wrote my message I think. My husband has spoken to his ex wife, not Jimmy's. We don't know him or any of his family/ex's.

 

[Mango Chutney]

Morning everyone, just a quick update. Still no concrete evidence on whether Jimmy is truly a rat, although everything points to that conclusion. My husband has spoken to his ex wife and she is insisting that he is genuine and that there is no need for concern. My husband has now withdrawn his permission for the children to travel. They both have parental rights and she needs his permission to be legally allowed to take them. Obviously she could go down a legal route, but this wouldn't be in time for them to travel this half term. Both my husband and I feel that it is all just too much of a gamble to take with the emotional well being of the children. They are potentially being introduced to someone with less than sincere motives, whether they would see it now or not, who knows, but we cannot give the meeting our blessing with so many questions of our own about this man. As I've said before, my husband (and I for that matter) are not bothered if she wants to chase a fantasy relationship, it is literally all about protecting the children.

I have no doubt that we have a very long road ahead of us! But we will continue to do our best to put the children's welfare first. Hopefully, one day, it will resolve itself, either with the proof of Jimmy's dishonesty or he will finally get his long awaited visa and the children can meet him in a more conventional environment rather than being flown to another country x

I think you've taken the best action possible! Good for your husband for sticking to his guns
I wouldn't want that thing around my kids in any country, he is a rat for sure, and the emotional damage he will inflict on his victim will affect the kids too.
One step at a time, eh....hopefully the ex wife will see through his elaborate scam called Bezness sooner rather than later, though it's unlikely. At least the kids are safe though

 

[Truthseeker]

I think you've taken the best action possible! Good for your husband for sticking to his guns
I wouldn't want that thing around my kids in any country, he is a rat for sure, and the emotional damage he will inflict on his victim will affect the kids too.
One step at a time, eh....hopefully the ex wife will see through his elaborate scam called Bezness sooner rather than later, though it's unlikely. At least the kids are safe though

Exactly , it's just a case of waiting now to see how long it takes for Jimmy to reveal himself, or even if that's not the case, for him to be able to come to the UK to prove his intentions. My main concern now is that she doesn't try to use this as a weapon against my husband to turn the children against him. In fact, I hope one day she reads this on her own search for the truth and sees that our concern was only ever the childrens safety. Life would be much simpler if we knew Jimmy was genuine or even if he lived here! It's all such a gamble, I hope it does pay off for her in the end, but for now the children won't be involved x

 

[Liona]

Hello Truthseeker.
The guy is a rat as the girls said above. He is from animation team. I would say, all the animators (like most hotels stuff as well) who are involved in the "relationships" with the tourists are the rats. I have observed a lot of such stories by myself.
Even not stupid adult women after 2 weeks vacations have been declared they were going to marry some animator. It's some kind of madness.

 

[Mango Chutney]

Life would be much simpler if we knew Jimmy was genuine

He isn't, but short of telling her to Google bezness and TLR, there is nothing you can do for her...she will learn the hard way. Even if you tip her off on the scam that's so popular that it warrants it's own name, she will likely throw it back in your face whilst she has her pink specs on.
You've safe guarded the kids, that was the main priority...I think you're an awesome step mummy
My children's father got legal advice on our kids and looked at having a caveat (I learned much new stuff!) put on their passports to stop me taking our boys to Tunisia, whilst so heavily brainwashed and manipulated....he even hid their passports at his parents house
This was never an issue anyway, I absolutely refused point blank to ever risk my children's lives in a country full of jihadists, crime, filth and with shoddy health and education facilities.
They are just not like us, life for a Westerrn child not understanding the culture, religion or language would be so hard.
I've had a lot of brown substance for refusing to take my kids there, but of all the decisions I made back then....my refusal to place my boys in potential danger is one I've never regretted!
Good for you guys, trust me, even if the brown substance hits the fan....you've made the right decision

 

[Truthseeker]

Hello Truthseeker.
The guy is a rat as the girls said above. He is from animation team. I would say, all the animators (like most hotels stuff as well) who are involved in the "relationships" with the tourists are the rats. I have observed a lot of such stories by myself.
Even not stupid adult women after 2 weeks vacations have been declared they were going to marry some animator. It's some kind of madness.

Hi Liona,

I know, I've been reading lots and lots of similar stories too . It's almost a textbook case! But then, because I believe I'm a nice person, I can't hand on heart judge Jimmy without knowing him, but we can't simply ignore the rising suspicion that he is up to no good! My husbands ex is far from stupid, maybe just lonely, I don't know. But I do know she has fallen, hook, line and sinker for Jimmy and is ignoring all of the warning signs in favour of a fantasy life with a much younger, Tunisian man. We are totally stuck, we want to be wrong, we want the children to have a safe and happy life with their Mum and any potential step father but we cant ignore all of the suspicions xx

 

[Truthseeker]

He isn't, but short of telling her to Google bezness and TLR, there is nothing you can do for her...she will learn the hard way. Even if you tip her off on the scam that's so popular that it warrants it's own name, she will likely throw it back in your face whilst she has her pink specs on.
You've safe guarded the kids, that was the main priority...I think you're an awesome step mummy
My children's father got legal advice on our kids and looked at having a caveat (I learned much new stuff!) put on their passports to stop me taking our boys to Tunisia, whilst so heavily brainwashed and manipulated....he even hid their passports at his parents house
This was never an issue anyway, I absolutely refused point blank to ever risk my children's lives in a country full of jihadists, crime, filth and with shoddy health and education facilities.
They are just not like us, life for a Westerrn child not understanding the culture, religion or language would be so hard.
I've had a lot of brown substance for refusing to take my kids there, but of all the decisions I made back then....my refusal to place my boys in potential danger is one I've never regretted!
Good for you guys, trust me, even if the brown substance hits the fan....you've made the right decision

My husband has outright told her, but to no avail. I have also mentioned the passports to him a while ago, he has every right to hold them as much as she does as they have joint parental responsibility. If it came to it, he would take them x

 

[Mango Chutney]

Hi Liona,

I know, I've been reading lots and lots of similar stories too . It's almost a textbook case! But then, because I believe I'm a nice person, I can't hand on heart judge Jimmy without knowing him, but we can't simply ignore the rising suspicion that he is up to no good! My husbands ex is far from stupid, maybe just lonely, I don't know. But I do know she has fallen, hook, line and sinker for Jimmy and is ignoring all of the warning signs in favour of a fantasy life with a much younger, Tunisian man. We are totally stuck, we want to be wrong, we want the children to have a safe and happy life with their Mum and any potential step father but we cant ignore all of the suspicions xx

Sadly, you are not wrong. Once things start to go wrong with the rat, the emotional damage inflicted on his victim will inevitably affect the kids.
I protected my boys as best as I possibly could, but they still suffered negative knock on effects. It did them no good to know mum was in Tunisia, it distressed them to see how thin and ill I looked with all the stress, it affected their education, their sleeping, eating habits and their health.
Hopefully, the truth will come to light before she brings the rat to England.

My husband has outright told her, but to no avail. I have also mentioned the passports to him a while ago, he has every right to hold them as much as she does as they have joint parental responsibility. If it came to it, he would take them x

Well then for her, you have done the best you can. If she's got her head screwed on, she'll come to the forum for guidance, if not....she learns the hard way...and she can't say she didn't know!!
Whose signature is on the passports? What parent applied for and signed for them?

 

[Liona]

My husbands ex is far from stupid, maybe just lonely, I don't know.

I am absolutely sure it's all about the loneliness. A woman believes beautiful fairy tale where she is a princess, and even does not pay attention that she has nothing in common ( except sexual attraction) with her "prince". Everything are different: intellectual level, material welfare, cultural traditions.
Your husbands ex will have to know all these by hard way.

 

[Amira]

Hello Truthseeker.
The guy is a rat as the girls said above. He is from animation team. I would say, all the animators (like most hotels stuff as well) who are involved in the "relationships" with the tourists are the rats. I have observed a lot of such stories by myself.
Even not stupid adult women after 2 weeks vacations have been declared they were going to marry some animator. It's some kind of madness.

All off them is gold digers

 

[Amira]

What might happen if he comes to her country is that she has to pay for everything because he has no money is also afraid that he will not show interest in her child since she is divorced. He is much younger than her and immature unfortunately, I think she does not do anything right. He comes from a poor country with high unemployment, probably has no rights from the state for help. He meets her and says he is in love? In love with what? Understand that you and your husband are unsure of him because Tunisia is at the top regarding love rats

 

[Big Bang Theory]

I am absolutely sure it's all about the loneliness. A woman believes beautiful fairy tale where she is a princess, and even does not pay attention that she has nothing in common ( except sexual attraction) with her "prince". Everything are different: intellectual level, material welfare, cultural traditions.
Your husbands ex will have to know all these by hard way.

I disagree Liona.....I was far from lonely.... I was confident, independent and happy on my own and the last thing I wanted was some stupid fairy tale relationship.
But somehow my rat still got his hooks into me.... I guess he worked out that I wasn't looking to be treated like a princess or any of the wishy washy lovely dovey romantic stuff.
He mirrored me, I guess, in the same way all rats do......
It has nothing to do with the weakness, loneliness, neediness (or any other negative quality) of the woman - it's all about the rats playing a clever game

 

[Liona]

.I was far from lonely...

Of course, it was just my own opinion.
When I say about loneliness I don't mean someone sitting alone without friends, family, ignored by everyone ( although this could happens as well ), sometime loneliness means person wants to see next to him someone who understands him comletely, without words, someone like the twin soul. "When I think -and he pronounces".

nothing to do with the weakness, loneliness, neediness (or any other negative quality) of the woman

By my opinion, these qualities are not negative. They are just different sides of personality, some from many.

 

[Truthseeker]

Morning all, I have some bad news to update. My husbands ex wife is taking the children to Tunisia later today despite my husband not giving consent. She has taken legal advice and they have told her that even without his consent, as there is no actual proof, she can take them anyway without any real fear of repercussions . To make matters worse, my husband spoke to his 12 year old daughter last night as one last ditch attempt to make her understand why he doesn't want them to travel and she begged him to allow them to go . He has not given permission and they are going anyway. All I can do now is to try to reassure my husband that it is unlikely that they will come to any harm, in fact, as Jimmy is part of a hotel entertainment team will more than likely play his part very well!

One thing that has come to light is that my husbands ex has told him that Jimmy no longer works in the hotel industry. We do not know where he works, or even if he works at all now. If he does not work we also don't know (but have our suspicions) how he is supporting himself. This would explain why his name has disappeared from hotel reviews.

I am still looking for any evidence of Jimmy being dishonest and wondered if there was anywhere else I could search? I thought I had found somewhere the other day but you had to pay to join, I can't seem to find the website again but I think it was German.

 

[Amira]

He does not support himself, I do not think so. He may have stopped working maybe because he gets help without it, I do not think he's a good man I doubt and why would he stop working so fast here is something that does not matter. Go on all sides on the internet regarding love rats. The deeper man digs about him, the more surprises will come up, I think

 

[Karima]

I am thinking that we middleaged european women are vulnerable , we travel to north africa to get out of daily rut...
we get attention (at home no man could not care less about us) and we get all what we dont have at home (sun, warm velvety nights, good food, nice hotel, cheap to buy what ever you like )- its easy to believe what love rats say and make us convinced that this is true love

 

[Heidi]

I am thinking that we middleaged european women are vulnerable , we travel to north africa to get out of daily rut...
we get attention (at home no man could not care less about us) and we get all what we dont have at home (sun, warm velvety nights, good food, nice hotel, cheap to buy what ever you like )- its easy to believe what love rats say and make us convinced that this is true love

It's so nice to find out amazing things about myself I never knew

 

[Mango Chutney]

I am thinking that we middleaged european women are vulnerable , we travel to north africa to get out of daily rut...
we get attention (at home no man could not care less about us) and we get all what we dont have at home (sun, warm velvety nights, good food, nice hotel, cheap to buy what ever you like )- its easy to believe what love rats say and make us convinced that this is true love

What the hell? Are you serious?
I can only speak for myself here, but I do not go without male attention at home, I am not stuck in a rut, I travelled to North Africa solely to relax, take photographs, see history and experience a different culture....at no point did a man feature anywhere on my agenda....he just came along.
We can get sun, warm velvety nights and good food in our own countries, plus every country around the globe.
There are nice, cheap hotels and nik naks globally...you just gotta shop around.
The lifestyle you describe can be found in many countries, not just Tunisia.....and most of the other options are rat free and clean. Life is what you make it.
Yes, it's easy to believe a rat, they are professional, experienced con men...but even strong, relatively happy and settled women have fallen for the charms of these prostitutes.
Based on that assumption, how do you explain the sheer volume of pretty women, young girls and men that get caught in a rat trap?

 

[Liona]

how do you explain the sheer volume of pretty women, young girls and men that get caught in a rat trap?

I agree with Karima a lot.
Pretty women, young girls, men want exactly the same: they want to fell themselves loved, "special".
But there are some who are looking for drama even.
Others are looking for the adrenalin rush.
Others are boring from the routine.
Others are tired to be strong, and want to feel man power.
It does not mean they go to North Afrique specially in search of these things, but often they really "receive, find" it there .
That's why women come back there again and again- to experience the emotions they had ( even if the supplier of the emotions is piece of brown substance and just played good game).

Tunisia is just the country where fake emotions are business. They offer in very ugly manner what people want to receive.

 

[Mango Chutney]

Pretty women, young girls, men want exactly the same: they want to fell themselves loved, "special".

I kind of agree, but not everybody wants that stuff. For example: nuns.
I was happy alone enjoying me time, my first time as a single female...I was content, I wasn't looking for a man, I was finding myself.

Others are boring from the routine.

It's easy to change a boring, mundane routine. Travel, college courses, a nightlife etc. Life really is what you make it.

Others are tired to be strong, and want to feel man power.

Hahaha!! No woman wants to be controlled by one of these freaks! Christ, it's a life of hell! I'm all for girl power, strong women, fighting women etc.

That's why women come back there again and again- to experience the emotions they had ( even if the supplier of the emotions is piece of brown substance and just played good game).

I didn't. Before Houssem, I kept returning there because I felt like me there, my history and photography needs were being met, I found the country and culture interesting etc.

Each to their own, but the scenario described by yourself and Karima is definitely not applicable to myself...nor to many other ex victims.

 

[Heidi]

Each to their own, but the scenario described by yourself and Karima is definitely not applicable to myself...nor to many other ex victims.

@Liona, I'm with Mango. If you and Karima are the way as described by Karima and yourself, that's your life, but I'm very much against generalization. I don't fit at all this cast

 

[Liona]

@Liona, I'm with Mango. If you and Karima are the way as described by Karima and yourself, that's your life, but I'm very much against generalization. I don't fit at all this cast

Everyone has his own opinion.
Although, it's still a little interesting to read your version the connection with love rat.

 

[Heidi]

Everyone has his own opinion.
Although, it's still a little interesting to read your version the connection with love rat.

Forget it

 

[Karima]

Well of course people are going there for various reasons. But its amazing to see how many women change their behaviour when arriving to Tunisia. I have had many kinds of trips there, not at all romantic ones. Nowadays I like to be rude to men there, I am making faces if they are trying too hard to get noticed. I have been followed on the beach and in the streets, I have been bought drinks, given flowers and gifts, all kinds of things.

 

[Mango Chutney]

Nowadays I like to be rude to men there, I am making faces if they are trying too hard to get noticed.

Hahaha, good for you!!

 

[Liona]

Nowadays I like to be rude to men there, I am making faces if they are trying too hard to get noticed

It's the best strategy there!

 

[Going for the limit]

I disagree too, i am.certainly not without male attention except in tunisia i know its only for my red passport where as in the uk i know men ask me on dates etc and its not for my passport. I never went looking for love and i.didnt want it either i was simply just on holiday , we were friends for a long time even before it progressed. I was there 3 times before it went any further. I.did not know about bezness but was well aware of visa hunters. Everyone loves a good holiday and thats why everyone always travels abroad. Of course holiday romances can happen but thats what they are holiday romances. Bezness is a whole new deal that no one deserves at all.

 

[Amira]

There is no one who needs to be exploited but if you are 60 or older and find you one who is 30 then I think it should call a bell

 

[Truthseeker]

I agree with you all, I don't think there's any one reason why someone would be susceptible to a rat. Just a combination of their conning skills and being in the wrong place at the wrong time!

I do have one question if anyone knows the answer please. It's come to light that he has applied for a visa twice. Once at the beginning of 2015 and once at the beginning of 2016. They were both with the full sponsorship of my husbands ex. The first was very early on in the relationship so we had assumed it was declined because of that. The second though, they had been 'together' for just over a year.....surely that wouldn't have been refused without a good reason? I don't know, I don't have experience of visas but it does seem odd that he's repeatedly denied permission to travel x